X FILES REOPENED
 

Banished by The Smoking Mod, Scully and I have been doing our own thing for the last year or so. But now it seems "The FBI's Most Unwanted" are free to resume posting our paranormal pornographic findings in the forums of OCC. This thread is going to be a catch all collage thread. There will be a lot of Before and After type stuff and whatever else we deem worthy. We prefer that you do not add photos to this thread. Please just enjoy. I want to believe...

What have I been doing all this time?
 

While away, I've been very busy...playing garbage can basketball, sharpening pencils and flipping them into acoustic ceiling tiles and making porn collages. Here's a few I hope you enjoy.

Chupacabras, Fluke Men and...Hose Monsters?
 

The best X Files episodes were of the "monster of the week" variety. Thinking of the 80s term "Hose Monster" at least two of these ladies know what to do with a hose. "Chupa" (sucking) is their obvious specialty. That doesn't make them monsters...perhaps monstrously popular...but not monsters. The softcore cyclist lady is no "fluke." She's a type you'll see plenty of in my threads: A no make up face and a body fit as hell. All three ladies, I hope, you'll find wank worthy.

Unique Beauty
 

Scully and I have been investigating the rules of attraction. We've concluded that there are none. It would be easier to run into Sasquatch in a city park than find universal agreement on who is beautiful, who's arrousing and who is not. Furthermore, our probing flashlight beams illuminate the fact that porn is one of the few fair things in life. Think about it. Everyone is included. Look around OCC...there are threads based on body shape, race, age, activites, employment, facial expression...and before I drone on endlessly like Bubba Gump about shrimp women...please get my point. In porn, female or male, there's always someone who likes what you've got. There are no outcasts, because porn is private. Our urge to run with the herd is put on hold as we indulge our personal desires and fetishes without shame. It's easier for people to get what they want or need in a forum like OCC. Some may wander their whole lives without ever finding the woman of their fantasies. Here, you just click "search." So here's this woman missing part of her right arm. Would I notice her if she wasn' t missing part of an arm? I would. She has a sweet smile and a nice body. It took a bit of self confidence to pose. Confidence and enthusiasm are sexy. With or without the missing part, I like her. Does the arm detract from her beauty for you? I know it does for someone...yeah, that guy there... move along, buddy. There are probably a few guys more put off that she has pubic hair, while some are excited that she's natural. There are also some that feel her arm is actually a big plus. She is unique and unique can be very attractive. Unique can give you super powers, if the right person is looking. Come on...ladies and a few of you guys... I know you're looking at that very phallic-looking appendage..and imagining what you'd like her to do to you with it. Attraction. No rules. Case closed. It was a frustrating investigation. For a while, Scully and I were really stum...uh... let's just say... confounded.

“I want to remember how it was. I want to remember how it all was.”


— Dana Scully, The X-Files, Season 11: The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat

Incredible! Welcome back!

Stupid Face Phenomena
 

Scully and I are baffled and more than a little bit frightened by what we're calling "Stupid Face Phenomena." We first encountered it at comic conventions and other events where cosplay is common. However, it's spreading rapidly in the amateur porn community - particularly amongst young women. It manifests itself with cross eyes or rolled eyes, a lolling tongue and often drool. To Scully and I, it's not sexy. In fact, we both agree that it looks...well...stupid. Scully has been performing autopsies and seems to think it could be a physical reaction to the colored hair dyes, wigs, heavy eye makeup and other tools of the cosplay trade. I think it could be alien implants. A third theory is that the affected generation has no concept of what sexy is. Might their stupid expressions merely be inexperience -an ill advised attempt to look like they're so horny they've lost their minds? We're also just beginning to explore the possible influences of Japanese animated fantasy culture. As the investigation continues, we will explore these theories while remaining, as always, open to other possibilities. Below you'll find collected photographs of the phenomena. Be sure to click on the last two images. They're gifs, allowing you to observe, in action, two disturbing examples. Caution Wankers: A limp dick may result.

Oh, the humanity! :eek:

X Files Facts
 

Did you know Dana Scully is a redhead, but the actor who played her, Gillian Anderson, is a very lovely natural blond? If a brunette dyes her hair red, it's easier to see it's not her natural color...but a light skinned blond, especially one with freckles, can fool you. But who cares? Here are some naked women to look at.

The Ransom Must Have Been Paid
 

You have been sorely missed on the OCC site Fox. I am glad to be able to send you a greeting because I thought you were gone forever! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:):):):):):):):):)
thegit

Someone else who "wants to believe."
 

The holidays are kinda slow at the FBI. That's not the case with The X Files. While Scully is off with family, I continue pouring over files from old cases that were never solved. Yes, pretty much ALL of them were never solved, so I have plenty to do. In fact, I'm so busy I've hired an intern to help me. She helps me in many ways. Sometimes she helps in ways I could never explain to Scully. However, as you can see, she's not afraid to work on her knees.

Walter Skinner was a friend to the X Files. He bailed Scully and I out of some tight spots. Few knew Skinner was also a big fan of skin. He liked his women without a stitch of clothing on. I can't argue with that. He was killed in the final X Files episode. To honor his memory, here's some women showing a lot of skin for Skinner.

Thoughts on breasts
 

Breasts are appreciated by amateur porn fans for their abnormalities just as much as their perfection. But what is an abnormality to you? Some like them saggy. Some enjoy lopsided. Some like them so huge the owners eventually require reduction surgery to take the strain off their backs. Some like women with breasts so small there are dudes who are more endowed. Then there's nipples...the variations of shape, size and color are dizzying. I can't tell you what I'm going to be attracted to until I see it. I will say I tend to like them firm and pert, like my partner Scully's, but if you've ever felt the softness of a very large breast, you won't forget it. Here are some collages focused on breasts that don't fit in my threads, so I'll post them here for you to enjoy.

Short hair and Tomboys
 

Are Tomboys from another planet? A planet where androgony rules? Actually, you can argue that androgony is the direction THIS world is going. There are so many flavors out there now...girly boys, Tomboys, theys, them, non binary, French winery, Trans, Bi, Bye Bye love, hello loneliness...If I left anyone out, I know you'll let your freak flag fly anyway. There's someone for everyone and it's all good. Personally, I love a nice fit body and a great head of long, luxurious hair. I definitely have a hair fetish. It's the first thing I notice. Eyes second. Then ass. I will say there's been many times I see nice long hair and a firm ass from behind...only to have the object of my lust turn around... and I'm looking at a dude. My middle aged heterosexual soul spits out whatever sexy thoughts I was thinking before I saw the beard. However, young people today keep all their options open. I say, good for them. I'm just not wired to like men, or chicks with dicks, but if you are, love is love. Lust is lust. If you're not hurting anybody, enjoy yourself. If you ARE hurting somebody, just be certain that's what their into. You doms and subs know what I mean. Here's a couple of cuties with pretty short hair, but you'll all agree, terrific bodies. I especially like the second one. Judging from her poster, she's a gal after my own heart.

They're Already Here
 

Several alien races have visited Earth and made contact with humans. A few have even taken up residence. An easy race to spot are the Gokivurahfaterians. Since the name is rather long and easily mispronounced, they appear in our reports as the Knit Hats. This, because of their distinctive headwear. Their heads require more heat than Earth generally offers, so they wear these hats year round. You may have noticed a lot of young people starting to wear these hats in the last decade or so. Some, even on summer days. You probably wrote it off as a fashion trend. Nope. You were looking at Gokivurahfaterians. They're a friendly race, as you can see in the photos below. Much more beneficial to humanity than the Noassatalls. You'll spot that alien race from their pants, which sag at the waist, exposing their underwear. Mark "Marky Mark" Wahlberg was the first of the Noassatalls to occupy Earth. He's been acting, uh, poorly ever since...yet somehow he still gets film roles. Enjoy the Knit Hats.

Simultaneously the weirdest and best thread I've ever seen on this site. Amazing.

Witches Fire
 

Cases involving the occult are common X Files. One such case started with some hikers in Oregon finding a naked woman in a meadow. She was in a trance-like state, mumbling something about witches fire. Of course, I was interested, but Scully rolled her eyes and said: "We won't find any bubbling cauldrons, Mulder. In fact, this is going to be nothing but toil and trouble." Still, I talked my reluctant partner into a flight to Portland. While Scully examined the woman, I took a 30 mile drive out of town to the meadow where she was found. Not far away from the meadow I saw some ruins and went to investigate. There, I saw a strange (naked) MILF, standing all alone with a rusty can of gasoline. As I approached her, I felt a pain in the back of my head and suddenly blacked out. When I awoke, I had a terrible headache. It was also night. I saw a fire and tried to crawl toward its warmth. As I got closer I saw a naked woman dancing, then another and another. Witches? The fire grew dangerously large while the women danced. Then I saw a striking woman I assumed was their leader. She was a somewhat demonic figure. She seemed to be a redheaded she-devil with dark eyes. Well, she had horns and a pitch fork, anyway. She was naked and rather hot, if you'll excuse the expression...and I found myself with an involuntary erection. She came over to me and pressed the pitch fork to my throat. It felt lighter than I expected, almost like plastic. Then she squated down on me and began riding my cock...chanting in tongues I was too dizzy to decipher. I blacked out just as I came inside her. When I awoke, I was naked and alone. I had dried semen on my pubic hair. There was no she-devil, no dancing women, no fire - or even evidence of fire. However, there was Dana Scully, leaning over me and checking my eyes for a dialated pupil that might indicate a severe head injury. I was more or less fine. "Really, Mulder?" she growled "You had me examining a manic woman who was off her meds...and you decided to go jerk off in a meadow!" I didn't bother to explain. What would be the point? She wouldn't believe me. She never does. But you folks here at OCC have the pictures. Believe...or just jerk off. I don't care.

"If you don't stop it, you'll go blind!"
 

Older men grew up hearing this. I don't know if younger ones hear it anymore. With helicopter parenting, I wouldn't be surprised if kids just can't find the privacy to masturbate at all. Most of them seem to spend their online time killing things with their thumbs rather than visiting websites like this. What say you? Any barely legals here? Feel free to weigh in, kiddies. Woody Allen once said: " Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love." But in excess, does it actually cause blindness? That myth seems have been busted. There is no proof of it's validity...but I don't know. I've done a ton of wanking in my time (often to pictures of Scully) and I gotta say, my eyesight is shit. I would probably say there's a higher concentration of out of control wankers here at OCC than I'd find anywhere else online. So maybe you guys can help a curious FBI agent out. How's your eyesight? :eek:

Meanwhile, Down In Africa
 

Scully and I live hectic, western lives. We deal with traffic, crowds, noise, commercial advertisement and the Smoking Man, just to name a few daily irritations. That's some heavy shit. How have humans decided that this life we're leading was better than living in tribes of hunter gatherers? Even Africa has become unrecognizable to primative people. There are still tribes, but westerners often visit them, bringing their stuff, taking pictures...polluting their culture and the wild. If humans survive what's coming, might we realize the folly of our ways and return to the simpler life? Imagine western women, topless, adorned with beads, bones and shells, dancing by a fire. Does it not sound good to you? Imagine a return to nature, to feel connected to Mother Earth once more. Did you know primative people had more leisure time than we do? Once the hunting was done, the carcas dressed, the meals made...there was little else to do. The time was filled with art, music, games, family time...and making family time, aka fucking. Are we really so much better off? Here are some sweet tribal women to look at while you contemplate the question.

Ghosts...are they real?
 

When you're alone in your room at night and you see a shadow that shouldn't be there...or hear a creak in the floorboards...a thump in the closet...could it be a paranormal event, or just the settling of your old house? There are many who swear they've encountered ghostly apparitions. There are television shows that claim clear photographic or audio evidence. I've seen and heard the "ghost hunter" findings, but can't swear to it's authenticity. If it isn't a hoax, why aren't these recorded voices and videos making headlines? Wouldn't proof of ghosts be front page news or the lead story on a major network? Even aliens get more press than ghosts. As a society, do we just except or deny their existence without any need of serious investigation or intelligent national discussion? Personally, I've never seen a ghost per say, but I've experienced a few things that logic can't easily explain..or dismiss. If ghosts do exist, are they voyeurs? Do they lurk in the shadows, wanking away as they watch our nakedness and deepest darkest sexual secrets? A lot of guys in this forum would love to be a ghost if that were the case. It's not a stretch to imagine Pingman haunting lockerooms, dressing rooms and ladies restrooms in the afterlife. Are ghosts capable of wanking? Can they feel anything? When we sleep, do ghosts take advantage of us...like frat boys feeling up a drunk coed? Who can say...and be believed? There's a couple of pictures below that might make you wonder. Are ghosts real? I want to believe.

The Succubi of Cincinnati
 

It's been a while since I've added to this thread. I've wondered if anyone cares to read about tales of supernatural and extra terrestrial terrors when the events of our daily lives seem horrific enough. Also, Sully and I have been busy. We were investigating a case in Cincinnati, where men with mangled genitalia had been turning up in local hospitals. Their explanations to physicians were obvious lies, either meant to cover up something truly embarrassing or perhaps...unbelievable. The unbelievable is usually where we come in. After conducting several interviews with these injured men, Scully and I concluded these mutilations were more than accidents with weed whackers, fans and uh, meat grinders. We finally had a breakthrough when we spoke with a caucasian male named Wilton Stump. Mr. Stump claimed his penis was gnawed on by a female he first saw in a dream. As odd as that sounds, it reminded me of something. It didn't take me long to recall the mythology of the Succubi. A Succubus is a Lilin demon in female form who seduces men in their dreams, usually with sex acts. Could such a creature leave the realm of dreams to prey on men? Or, are we just talking about fine young cannibals? After conducting second interviews with the other mangled men, they all confessed to being chewed on by a woman they had previously seen in a dream...all except for one guy who swore he really DID get his dick caught in an outboard boat propeller. As usual, Scully was skeptical. I know she likes to nibble on foreskin once in a while (Don't ask how I know that) and she discounts the succubus theory. Her thoughts turn to angry, sadistic women, or women who give "overzealous love bites." We did set up still and video cameras in the bedrooms of some of the victims. Below is the footage...it's hard to say if these photographs represent Succubi who have escaped the dream world... or just really hungry women. Whatever the case, these females are still at large. I have to admit, I haven't slept well in weeks and every morning I thoroughly inspect my wang. (Last 3 pics are gifs)

The X looms large in the legend
 

Where did the X in the X-FILES come from?