How much do you trust other men and your wife
 

Having an argument with my wife would like some feedback. My wife likes to drink and was a sl*t prior to our marriage, I could be naïve. She likes to go out after work with co workers and tip a few. Problem is there usually guys 30 years of age and single. She thinks they have no interest in her, I think any guy at the end of a night of drinking will fuck or take a blowjob from any chick still breathing in the bar. I have several questions for the guys.

First question would you hit almost anything at the end of a night of drinking? Would it matter if she was married or had a significant other? Does her being a co worker enter in the decision?

The second issue and question is she thinks if a girls significant other is a convict, cop, or biker guys shy away from them. If your going to hit some chick during a one night stand and you find out she's going out with a biker, a cop, or a convict would this top you? would you even think twice about it?

Looking for honest feedback and any all thoughts

Seems to me like you've got some trust issues. I think you need to resolve them before they brew and stew and you lash out at her one day and it gets ugly.

I implicitly trust my fiancée. She goes out with no underwear a lot, flirts and invariably gets hit on; often by younger guys who want to hit it. Sometimes I've been close by when it's happened. Some idiots just don't care; especially when they're heavily intoxicated.
My fiancée also has a history of bringing random guys home when she was younger. I wrestled with that myself; but we talked it out and I've come to accept her past. Just because she used to do it doesn't mean she'd do it again now.

No; I wouldn't pick up some random chick after drinking. But that's just me. When I was younger I would and did.
Yes; even if I did hit it off with some chick, I'd be very concerned about her relationship status. I've been burned before by banging a chick who was in a relationship.

But I think that's besides the point. Talk to her, address your concerns in a calm and rational manner. If she wants to experiment, set boundaries. If she likes to flirt: accept it or move on. A lot of guys here talk about sharing their wives; or have done it. Even though I don't mind when my fiancée flirts or flashes (I've even encouraged her); we've agreed that's as far as it goes.

Not her, the men
 

Some excellent feedback already posted in response to your post and questions. For us, I trusts my wife completely. I do not trust most guys and know most of them will always get whatever they can regardless of a ladies relationship status or desire level if she has had one too many.

For us it may be a little different than other posters. My wife does enjoy flirting and being around other men. She has no trouble at all enticing men in their twenties and thirties anytime she wants. She gets hit on a lot by men of all ages. While we do have an "open" marriage and relationship we also have established ground rules that we have both agreed upon and set in place. She does travel a lot with her job and as a routine part of that she has many functions where drinking and after-work cocktail parties are required. Over the course of the past 30+ years of our marriage she has only "hooked-up" on during a handful of these events back in her hotel room. Typically she tells me of her interests in a particular person and asks if I am sure I am ok with it before pursuing it further to that point.

This past weekend we visited a nudist lifestyle resort and Sunday evening we spent time in a hot tub with several other people. My wife was exceptionally flirty and having a lot of fun with several of the younger single gentleman. There was a lot of kissing and touching happening and I am sure several of the guys thought it was going to be their lucky night with her. I really doubt any of them cared at all if I was there, if she was married, if I was a convicted serial killer, cop or head of a biker gang at that point as most their blood reserve was engorging another part of their body other than their brain. If she had told me she wanted to hook-up with one of them it would have been fine as she was really into it.

On this occasion instead of carrying if further she moved over to me and said she was ready to go back to the room. We got out and as soon as we got inside our room I got one of the best blow jobs I have had in a long time from her, she was really into it. I stopped her before finishing and she had one of the most intense orgasms she has had in a long time after I got inside her.

Communication is key, the flirting with other men can lead to some great arousal and sex between you and her if she feels desired, hot and sexy. But, trust and being on the same page is vital between you both regardless of what your individual rules and boundaries are together. From your post it sounds like you may not have identified these yet between you both.

Speaking of nudism...

I used to be a pretty possessive guy back in my younger years. I was however very interested in nudism; and being newly married meant I was going to need to wife's consent/participation. I convinced her to go with me and things just progressed from there.

My wife gradually went from shy/reluctant to open nudist. After she started making nudist friends she became much more proactive/social. Back in her heyday she was quite the sight: big boobs, round butt, and smooth puss after she started shaving. Guys definitely checked her out; especially when she walked around with her boobs bouncing or when she was lying by the pool with her legs open. She'd be flirty too, especially with some of our closer friends, who more than once got to feel her boobs when she hugged them or got a handful of her booty. Not to mention she checked out guys too and looked at dick about as much as guys checked out her puss.

It would have been very easy for her to slip away and get a dick in her. After all she wouldn't even had to take anything off!

Nudism basically cured me of my possessiveness. After a while it was no big thing for me when other guys flirted with or check out my naked wife. She never gave me a reason not to trust her of to fear she'd end up with another guy's dick in her. If the woman is willing, I recommend it. It may seem strange to consider letting your spouse socialize naked as a remedy for possessiveness and jealousy; but it worked awesome for me.

Just a thought...

Believe it or not, my wife is quite shy. When she goes out with the girls for a drink she likes to let her hair down and has had men try to come on to her and her friends.
She isn't interested in the ones that make a play and make themselves look desperate, although she will chat and be pleasant, unless they are rude, in which case the girls stick together and get rid of them.

As for trust, that is 100%. She isn't really in to vanilla pub/club pick ups, although, we do have a rule that if ever the right person came along, we could do whatever we wanted as long as we sent a message or rang each other to agree on the person ..... and send each other pics and vids of the action lol.

As mentioned above, communication is the key element. Without that, there will always be doubts and issues in a relationship. How could you possibly know someone without talking and sharing your thoughts? Being honest and truthful will clear up any insecurities about how your wife would react when she is approached by the ones on the hunt in the bars, even when they're both drunk.

No I wouldn't try to pick a woman up because she is drunk. No my wife wouldn't be bothered by that either

Uniforms or reputations wouldn't bother us either way, it depends on the person trying to pull. Attitude and actions are what attracts us.

Playing with fire.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. Its not being jealous or possessive. Its being realistic about human nature especially when drunk.

. Girls night out..drinking with male friends..etc. danger lurks...I have heard stories. If something does happen all she will say is " it just happened"..bla bla bla..IF you find out.

By that time its too late. If you forgive her..she won't respect you..she will use it as licence to do it again..

If she doesn't want to stop..red flag..maybe someone there she likes.

If you into swinging or sharing (which I think is garbage- a cop out) fine..

If not and you value what you work hard to get..set boundaries loud and clear or dump her.

Hard to do...but worth it long run.

Tom Leykis talks a lot about it..YouTube him.

Trust her - even when we lived in different countries
 

My wife is pretty, and hence attracts some amount of male attention - while she may on occasion flirt a little, I fully trust that she won't do anything either of us would regret. Flirting a bit happens, and I think that's normal.

We've also lived apart for close to a year in the past (we were already married then). She was in Tokyo, and was living alone. She did go to various expatriate meet ups/events etc, at some of which she did get hit on - since she was alone the guys in question thought she was single. She'd tell me about these incidents, and we'd laugh about them. She's mentioned if she flirted a little with someone as well - some of the guys she told me she'd flirted with a bit were also foreigners at the firm she was working at, and had become friends of hers. I never felt any reason to doubt anything, even though she'd hang out with some of them a fair bit, and go out drinking, etc.

I've detailed this on another thread (the one about a boss trying to take advantage of the wife) - the firm she worked at had a senior partner who was quite brazen in his behavior - he'd pat/feel up asses etc. I didn't ever feel worried or threatened that she'd give in to the guy, even though he did feel her up and hit on her. He even commented on the style of panties she wore (I guess touching her ass a few times have him an idea of what she wore), and when it was time to come back home, he gave her an additional going away gift - a hamper from a very expensive lingerie boutique (had some bras and thong panties and a teddy) - he asked her to send him photos of her posing in the lingerie - quite a brazen come on again! I was very surprised that he got her bras and panties in her correct size though - quite skillful that he managed to size her up by just looking at her

Trust her - even when we lived in different countries
 

My wife is pretty, and hence attracts some amount of male attention - while she may on occasion flirt a little, I fully trust that she won't do anything either of us would regret. Flirting a bit happens, and I think that's normal.

We've also lived apart for close to a year in the past (we were already married then). She was in Tokyo, and was living alone. She did go to various expatriate meet ups/events etc, at some of which she did get hit on - since she was alone the guys in question thought she was single. She'd tell me about these incidents, and we'd laugh about them. She's mentioned if she flirted a little with someone as well - some of the guys she told me she'd flirted with a bit were also foreigners at the firm she was working at, and had become friends of hers. I never felt any reason to doubt anything, even though she'd hang out with some of them a fair bit, and go out drinking, etc.

I've detailed this on another thread (the one about a boss trying to take advantage of the wife) - the firm she worked at had a senior partner who was quite brazen in his behavior - he'd pat/feel up asses etc. I didn't ever feel worried or threatened that she'd give in to the guy, even though he did feel her up and hit on her. He even commented on the style of panties she wore (I guess touching her ass a few times have him an idea of what she wore), and when it was time to come back home, he gave her an additional going away gift - a hamper from a very expensive lingerie boutique (had some bras and thong panties and a teddy) - he asked her to send him photos of her posing in the lingerie - quite a brazen come on again! I was surprised that he got her bras and panties in her correct size though - quite skillful to size her up by looking at her

this is not an issue for us
 

[QUOTE=dawggonetired;2452192]Having an argument with my wife would like some feedback. My wife likes to drink and was a sl*t prior to our marriage, I could be naïve. She likes to go out after work with co workers and tip a few. Problem is there usually guys 30 years of age and single. She thinks they have no interest in her, I think any guy at the end of a night of drinking will fuck or take a blowjob from any chick still breathing in the bar. I have several questions for the guys.

First question would you hit almost anything at the end of a night of drinking? Would it matter if she was married or had a significant other? Does her being a co worker enter in the decision?

The second issue and question is she thinks if a girls significant other is a convict, cop, or biker guys shy away from them. If your going to hit some chick during a one night stand and you find out she's going out with a biker, a cop, or a convict would this top you? would you even think twice about it?

Looking for honest feedback and any all thoughts[/QUOT

As much as some may not like to hear my wife not the type of girl guys approach. Not sure what she needs to do or wear for guys to chat her up and try and pick her up. We have tons of pics so I'll let you decide if she attractive and fuckable. We go out to large functions and have times walked in alone and texted each other saying act like your single. Not one guy makes a move on her???

Now for me I've dipped the pen in company ink and now think it's not for me so I don't look at coworkers like that. We flirt and touch vanilla style but that's it.

Nudism. Wife is starting to embrace this concept. The nudist beach is on her to do list this year again. She's gone from not going to it, to going topless to being nude and enjoying it. Now her plan is to go nude and mingle with other guys which I'm totally for.

My end result is to see her take on a guy or 2.

I do have trust issues, but I don't trust anyone. IU think the whole world will stab you in the back. But I probably trust her more then most. While saying this I think any guy will take advantage of a situation to get laid. I think she's naïve not believing this and I'm just trying to prove it to her. I also think she's naïve if she's married that it matters and that guys don't think about who your married to and if he's dangerous. Still looking for feedback would you fuck a chick and would it matter if she was married to a cop, criminal, biker.

I am very trustworthy on her end - the couple of times since we've been together that another guy has tried to make a real move on her (trying to kiss her, etc.) she's immediately told me what happened and obviously not been happy about it, so I definitely trust her faithfulness. The only time since we've been together that she's done something with another guy was one New Year's Eve that she kissed another guy (I told that story here: https://forum.oneclickchicks.com/show...56#post2350356 ), which was done right in front of me (and with me kissing another girl) and obviously not intended to be a secret. Flirting and stuff is totally harmless in my eyes.

The zen of totally trusting your wife is a beautiful thing because it really opens you up to her being open with her body in front of other guys and you just not giving a shit because you know she's yours - my wife has skinny dipped, sunbathed topless, flashed, changed clothes, slept naked, and on one occasion even taken a shower in front of other guys and I can just completely grin and enjoy the experience because I know I'm the one who gets to fuck her at the end of the day.

The zen of totally trusting your wife is a beautiful thing because it really opens you up to her being open with her body in front of other guys and you just not giving a shit because you know she's yours - my wife has skinny dipped, sunbathed topless, flashed, changed clothes, slept naked, and on one occasion even taken a shower in front of other guys and I can just completely grin and enjoy the experience because I know I'm the one who gets to fuck her at the end of the day.[/QUOTE]

Perfectly said Hwu. My husband has total trust in me to be faithful and to be aware of my surroundings. Most of the time if I'm out without him, I'm with my girlfriends with whom watch out for each other. At work functions when we all go out for a pint or cider, most know how I am and also look out for me. I feel lucky to be the exhibitionist that I am because of his trust. ;) BEAN

BJ I agree I would watch her fuck someone else to but this is getting away from my question do guys even care and will they fuck anything that moves. So the question I guess is can she trust other guys and is she naïve not to think they want to fuck her?

I have no trust issue with my wife around other men, because if she decided she wanted to fuck one of them, if she is out of town for a while, to call me so I can take care of my own needs to the story, or come home and let me eat her out while she tells me the story.

Before anyone asks, she always has worn protection, its not a cuckold thing, she just gets so turned on telling me, and seeing me enjoy, and I love to eat her out. Then when she's orgasmed again, I take my turn with her. And tell her how beautiful she is and how hot it makes me knowing she was able to enjoy another man.

Sorry for not directly answering your post questions in my previous response. In my opinion and experience, No, most guys don't care if a woman is married or in a committed relationship.


Again, not to generalize but yes, most guys will fuck anything that moves if given half the chance.


Again, based upon my experiences no, she cannot trust that the guys she is out with don't want to fuck her and that if the opportunity presents itself that they will not fuck her.

However, I have also not met a woman who goes out with a group of men with drinking and flirting going on who is so naive that she does not realize that men in general have one motive. Most women are either enjoying the friends-with-benefits opportunities or are a huge tease and remain in full control just enjoying the attention and then cutting things off and heading home to you before she allows anything further.

My wife will swear that women are the same as men, they want the same things most of the time they just act naive, innocent and put on the good girl act because it is what guys want in a women.

The first wife not at all ! The second wife somewhat. My wife now completely.

Human nature is plain and simple. We (both men and women) look for pleasure at any chance we have.

What makes the difference is that we are smart enough to repress those sexual drives in order to achieve a bigger, long term goal. In this case, a good, loving and long lasting relationship.

Tons of guys are going to flirt and try to get into your wife/gf's pants; that is the way it is. SOME are going to respect that she is in a relationship, OTHERS won't. It is that simple AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL IT!

At the end of the day, what matters the most is her own sense of loyalty and commitment to the relationship.

Try to notice how she behaves in other areas. Is she loyal to her friends? Does she gossips behind their backs? Is she committed to her job? Does she lies constantly to get what she wants? Those are clear clues of who she really is.

Now, trusting is a full time activity; you can't partially trust someone.

My father told me once (and I will never forget about it): when someone cheats on you, you will suffer days, maybe weeks... when you don't trust on your partner, you suffer everyday, always.

Be strong man, I know how difficult is not to be able to control your feelings and thoughts. The best advice I can give you is (besides what others here have told you about communication): whenever those thoughts come to your mind, think about something else; don't let them conquer you. They are like a snowball, they grow and grow, you will feel more miserable every day and YOU WON'T SOLVE SHIT.

Trust?? No chance. I assumed my ex was fucking some guy whenever I was out of town. Look, she admitted to more than 50 guys before me and has at least 10 after we split the first time. One night when I came home from a trip to London I got in early and was supposed to meet her at a bar when I got back. I walked in and she wasn't there, so I sat down. She came out of the bathroom looking all flushed. The place was known for their big bathroom stalls. Even though she denied it, I'm sure she was in there with a dude.

Most of the time I trust my wife to be faithful, but there are disclaimers. I've always known ahead of time if she was going to have sex with another man, I have no problem with her coming back to me to be reclaimed, I find that very hot. The disclaimer is that she is submissive, if another guy flirts and asks her to do something sexual, he will get turned down. However, if he orders her to do something, he submissiveness takes over and she is powerless to resist.

For example, she had been flirting with this other teacher, he was getting transferred to another school system and he asked her if she wanted some of the teaching material he didn't need anymore. She told me she was going to go grocery shopping and stop at his house to pick the stuff up. She was gone for a while, but I was busy and didn't notice the time. When she got home she was acting a little strange, my wife has no ability to lie or deceive, she is an open book. So I asked if something was wrong, she said "I gave Mike a blow job, I had to".

She said when she got to his house they chatted for a few minutes, she said she was in a hurry because of the groceries, he loaded to stuff into the car then said "I deserve a reward for all of this great material".

She asked "like what?"

He said "you're going to be a good girl, you're going to give me a blow job now, it won't take long".

She said they went inside, he threw a pillow on the floor in front of a chair, he lowered his shorts and his erect cock sprung out, he sat down. She knelt on the pillow and sucked him until he filled her mouth. Of course I got the same treatment.

Your post is asking for two different things, really. Because much of how other men relate to her will be a function of how she relates to the men, especially if they already know her. To answer your initial concern, I trust men completely around my wife...to hit on her and bed her if they can. That is because even when she was newly engaged men hit on her a lot. Some of that is because she's easy, and I think guys can sense that.

First question, I personally would not "hit almost anything at the end of a night of drinking". Not my style, but a lot of guys would. My experience is that whether a woman has a husband or a significant other is not a factor for most guys if they think they have a solid chance. As mentioned, sure didn't bother them with my newly engaged wife. Being a co-worker does enter the decision for me and makes it a no-go. I imagine it's 50/50 for most guys at large...meaning for about half it makes a difference and half it doesn't.

Second question, yes, that could stop me. Now, I admit that I come from a rougher background than some and where these kinds of threats are a very real thing. I went to high school with a guy who was shot by a jealous husband, for example. So it would stop me. I imagine it's a factor for a lot of guys. But there will always be that small minority who wouldn't care.

In fact, there's a small minority who don't care anything about any of this. If they can get laid, they will. I've known a few over the years.

My ex was that girl (who was sexy) to be the last one at the bar who fucked the last guy. She loved to have any cock as long as it was big enough. D cums on talking about all those stories.

Do you all think that having a significant other is more meaningful for a woman than a man? I used to think so, but I don't any more. I know so many stories about what wives and girlfriends have done. They are in it for the same things we are.

See my previous post here
https://forum.oneclickchicks.com/show...74#post2455174

I think it's even more the case these days because of gender equality, easier access to contraception etc. Cheating is cheating but in years gone by the women had the added stigma of being branded a (word I can't write here), and the risk of pregnancy of course.

Unless a guy is into sharing his wife it's worth remembering that a wedding band alone won't keep her away from other guys if she's feeling neglected in one way or another.

I've answered before
 

I have no worries as I don't believe other men fund my wife attractive nor does my wife seek out others. Guess I'm cursed.lol

For example, we go to a local nude beach. She strips down to her birthday suit and spends the day like that. I always make an excuse to go for a walk and leave her by herself. In the dozen or so times we've gone only once a guy has waved at her from a distance. One time a guy came up and said hello but that's it. No small talk no comments no flirting.

I had to find a guy who was looking at her and bring him down. I told him it would be great if he good give her compliments. He did but the compliments were very lame and generic.

So I do trust her and others that nothing will happen.

never
 

I have never worried about it. She don't play games with other guys. However I wish she would flirt a bit. Would be fun to watch.

thefergie,

my now ex is 49 (but looks 35). She slept with a few guys in her office after we broke up, and let most of them cum in her (no risk of preg). I know if we really got back together other than for sex, she would keep doing that. I think it's super hot she does that. She isn't gorgeous, but really sexy and dudes throw themselves at her. We still haven't brought anyone else into bed, but tonight we are sharing a hotel with another couple. She told me that she can't wait to fuck the guy and have me watch, and me with the girl.

I think it all boils down to how much, or how little, you trust your wife. Guys will go as far as your wife will let them and try to further. Either your wife will stop them or not. And if your wife loses control when drunk, guys will take advantage.

Even if not initially "losing control" there may be a reduction of inhibitions after a few drinks, innocent flirting may develop into something more assertive. Once that ball starts rolling and guys are encouraged that additionall effort may pay off, add in a few more beverages and things can and do happen...

when you have a wife like mine
 

Would love to see her get drunk and go crazy but shehasnt in a ling time. Even drunk I don't think guys would try anything with her.

In my experience some guys will try with anyone they sense is at all available for anything; particularly if they feel she's sending some vibes that she might be open to a conversation or more. A lot of male egos are pretty vulnerable.

But there are those that go strictly for volume hits; the more tries the higher the odds of success.

It's hard to tell, my wife had a crush on one friend of mine, he never even acknowledged her flirting. Another guy had a straight arrow personality, but he was always trying to get in her pants.

Women are the same, one wife of a friend was always playing in my lap under the table, but she was very religious. The ones that dressed like sl*ts were "no play zone".

Funny Topic
 

My wife goes out with friends and is quite a flirt. Although constantly hit on, she hasn't bedded down any of the guys from those encounters. She has, however, gotten guys contact information and later, with my permission, has fucked several of them. She has also invited them to come over another day and have dinner and drinks.
In fact, one night she was getting fucked on our dining table while I cooked dinner. I had a perfect view of the action from the kitchen and would wander in and take a couple photos then return to cooking.
But yeah, I trust her completely to not cheat behind my back. Therefore I have no jealousy issues. I actually have been present with every guy or girl she has sex with. Not every time, but at least once with each of them. She likes me to be her safety net with new people. I often make it a requirement that I get pics or vids if I'm not there. She also has to give me full details of her encounters.
As for me, I don't look for sex with others. Back in my single days I would fuck anything that had a pussy and moved. Married, unmarried, whatever. My wife fills my every fantasy and desire, so no need to look elsewhere. I have joined her in many threescore.
Hope this answers some of your questions.

what
 

I don't trust other guys around my wife. Luckily we have an open relationship so I don't have to worry. If she wants to fuck them then she will. Then she will tell me all about it and give details. It is a turn on knowing that my wife turns other men on and gets their dicks hard. The fact that she will then spread her legs for them is the best! I couldn't ask for a better wife!

I'm not married but one I dated and had and still have serious feelings for and probably would have been open to marrying but she and both generally do open relationships but she wanted a marriage situation to be a closed relationship and I told her honestly that she is an admitted (although not diagnosed) nymphomaniac and sex is a major part of her identity and how she expresses herself and I told her bluntly

"While I do love and care about you, a closed relationship will never work for you, if you lock eyes with the mailman, you're gonna hook up with him, because you've done this before" and I continued

"We dated for 4 years and you had 21 outside sexual partners in that time. You'd come home with bite marks and hickeys on your breasts, cum stains on your pants, your vagina would be red and obviously swollen from sex, and even sometimes you'd come home with your bra in your purse and while that never bothered me, it was obvious that your dreams of a closed traditional relationship/marriage was never going to happen"

I never cared that she hooked up with other men, I'm just wired like that but what bothered me was that she thought should just turn things off like a switch and be a traditional monagamous wife.

Did I trust her around other men? I trusted that she was going to have some sort of contant with at least one of them and sexual contact could range from sharing nudes to all out sex.

Trust and Them About as Much as Me
 

My wife is pretty good about not doing anything I wouldn't do. If she fucks outside of our marriage ,so do I, and the same is true in the opposite. However, there are times recently when she has not told me the full truth about what she did. That bothers me since we can always be open about things with no repercussions. However, I have seen her really get hot over some guys and things can get out of hand without her coming forward about what was done. I usually find out later, but she seemingly always forgets what happened. I actually think she gets a guilty feeling when she really gets hot for a guy. If it is just raw sex, I don't think she has the same guilt complex.

uoforit
 

We're friends w everyone on OCC....

Ironically, I trust nudist men at our resort more than I trust men out in the "real world."

For one thing, she is naked the entire time; so there's no "mystery" left for the men interacting and socializing with her. Second thing: nudist "etiquette" is strong at our resort; and no guy wants to risk offending or getting escorted off the premises for prurient behavior towards my wife or anyone else's.

Drunken guys at bars are a lot less likely to be cautious; especially if my wife is scantily clad, a bit drunk and a bit flirtatious.

I've literally left my wife alone to interact with random men at the resort, in the hot-tub or while tanning (her legs are often just open enough for them to see her labia) without anything ever happening. At a bar, I can't leave her alone for 5 minutes without some dude trying to put his hand on her ass or staring at her tits (she goes braless a lot.)

My wife is very pretty so when we first got together a number of my friends couldn't help flirting with her. She's very flirtatious herself so it got interesting at times.
I just knew they would fuck her if given a chance! I had to be on guard all the time!