Sharing of the wife - Challenges
 

I've given my advice and support here... and oddly found my self at odds.

At this very moment, she is with another man. I agreed that she could have sex with him - but I was under the impression that she would be home in bed. They went out to a club, drinking and such. She wore a very sexy outfit... a sheer dress with patterns; with hot-colored bra and thong... clearly visible. The panties are also pattern and slightly sheer and without the dress on, you could see her pubes. She wore this to a club with hundreds of people.

Example photo (Its not her, but its pretty much the same dress - just the black part) I wish I took some photos before she left.

I couldn't make it out to the club, because of work and home issues. Besides I've gone out while she stayed at home a few times... right? (But I never got laid or kissed anyone) And she has worked her ass off this week and should go out for drinks, dancing, socializing and a shag. The guy is someone we have done MFM with... whom I'm okay with, generally. I don't have any real issues.

Anyway - after leaving the club - she went to his place to have sex and crash. (Which I agreed to - in part)
She is drunk, but not wasted... and I don't want to shit on her night over a mix-up... and she isn't understanding what I am asking.

I wanted his phone number so I can call if there is an emg. situation and/or so I can make sure she is okay - if she doesn't answer her phone (passed out / sleeping it off). I'm upset that I don't know when she will be home in the morning. I know her when she's drunk - and much of the error is mine. But I think we both should have been clear of expectations, not assumptions. At 3am - this is not the time to argue and drama.

I also asked for photo - see how she is. Nothing. (Drunk)

I didn't think about it until now (much later) - that I should have demanded she turn the phone over to him in voice call to explain the phone # (with a speaker phone). When he drops her off - I think I will have a word with him... not a fight or heated discussion - but that he MUST check with me first.

This whole discussion between us, was using text messaging.

My wife has watched me had sex with other women. We've always been together in the same party whenever we had sex with others. This is a first for *US* - in that I'm not there... and to be honest, I'm not quite digging it. Jealousy? Nope. I love her, she loves me... we're together. My last text to her was "take pics with your phone. Have lots of orgasms, have fun". No return response... which I'm not thrilled by that either / but when she's drunk - she's not chatty on texting anyway.

I'm not sure she gets it. The friend, is just a friend who gets to fuck my woman. That woman is my wife, my love, mother to our kids. Her safety and well being is high on my list and not knowing if they made it to his place and what time she's coming back is bullshit!

First time at anything, there's going to be mess-ups. And that is what I'm working out. If this became a usual-thing; of no communications - then there are serious problems. I'm also not a sub or anything like that.

Other people here have more experience that I / we. I say that because I've been into open relationships for 10+ years - but never been married before. She - originally thought she'd never do such things - but I've shown her poly and swinging - that communication and trust are key to making those work. She likes showing her beautiful naked body to others - or be sexy. And I do like watching her have sex with other men and women (while I'm having fun with someone else).

My wife was so sexy tonight, and I didn't get to share in that. Some people at the club were asking her "where is your husband"? Which I guess looked odd considering how much flesh she was showing off :)

While this is a rant... Its a discussion to share with others who might of had these feelings / problems and to help those will in the future.

I'm not en-raged. No homicidal or violent thoughts. And with corrections - I'm cool with her having sex with him and other people.

But I want her sleeping in OUR bed.

I would leave him out of it (for now). You and your wife need to communicate and set up boundaries if your not comfortable with what she is doing let her know but it is a two way street you have to respect the boundaries she imposes.

It sounds like your not comfortable be cause you feel she went out on a date let her know it's OK to go out and its OK to make a stop on the way home but not ok to go out with him.


I hope I helped or at least give you some food for thought

Dude its your wife FFS 9 Your wife )

I would find it worrisome that I could not reach my wife if she was out and drinking. And even more so if I did not know the guy she was out with very well.

DR

Oh bollox, I can empathize with both sides of the argument/discussion/row.

She was out for her night out, she wanted to relax, enjoy and perhaps just get away from you and the kids for a night.

You were worried about her safety, especially because it had not been arranged in advance.

You need to both take deep breaths and agree that

1. You are not being controlling (you're not, are you?)
2. You do worry about her safety, especially when intoxicated
3. Given the lifestyle you have both chosen, she is free to go out and enjoy herself, whatever that means
4. But, if she is going to stay out for the night, it is arranged in advance.

Let's face it, that last thing she wants, if she is engaged in a heavy session with some other guy but forgotten to come home, is for you to be calling her phone every 5 minutes. Agree that something went wrong with your communication on this one and that, if you can put the communication right, it can happen again.

Although you have both chosen that she can get fun with other guys, you may have to accept she is not comfortable doing that under your nose and want some distance for the event.

'Nuf said. Good luck and let us know the happy end to this story.

@ DRDavenport : I was well aware of the drinking. I know the guy, he's an old friend from of hers. And I pre-approved the sex.

@ captaintrips :
1 - Not usually controlling. I was upset he brought her home on a motorcycle. Which I made clear to him that *HE* was not allowed to do that again, ever. So whatcha think? It only takes a car hit to ruin your life. I love motorcycles - but I've seen & experienced the effects of those who died on them or maimed.

2 - Yes. And she got more drunk than she planned. her super sexy out means stronger drinks from bartenders :)
3 - I'm glad she had fun going out. Wish I could have gone too. She's allowed to go out again, of course.
4 - yep, that is what I talked to her about - that we're both clear on scheduling and lines of communications.

You're right - I have better things to do than to call her over and over again. I even had to tell her to stop texting, get laid and we'll talk about it later... not when she's drunk and horny. :)

She's still hung-over... two drinks too many. As her man - I know her drink limits better than anyone else, including hers. We had a little bit of sex today, but time is short with things to do.

No knives were used.

PS: The three of us will go out sometime soon, with the goal of picking up another girl or two.

Its days later... we're quite cool.

Funny thing... she's getting messages/text (facebook) from a few guy friends who were drooling over her at the club last weekend - wanting her/us to come over to their place... nope.

Refer to the photo above - with her awesome butt view-able to all (thong) - 5'2" 101lbs. If it was legal, she'd go to clubs with that dress without any underwear :)

I'll take photos and share them next time... :) *promise*

Wife fucks big dicks
 

My wife fucks other guys often. She is past 50 and still hot and can't get pregnant anymore so she gas several boyfriends with huge dicks. Mine is normal size 6". She sometimes does them in our bed and I get to watch and she sometimes goes out. It's really hot to watch your wife take on a huge dick and listen to her cum like crazy. Her pussy is now so stretched that she can't feel me anymore so she no longer allows me to fuck her. Several months ago she locked my dick up in a very well made chastity cage and now regulates my cumming to once or twice a month. She has the money in the family and some incriminating photos of me that will be posted if I try to get the cage cut off. She has me lick her pussy a lot and clean her up after she is full of cum. Be glad that you can still jerk off when your wife tells you about her encounters. She stopped me from doing that completely. But I do like eating her pussy and sucking on her big tits.

I really can't say much about this. In all our years both me and my wife only play around in front of each other. To us that's the whole reason for either of us to have sex with others, to turn each other on.
I don't think I could stand my wife sleeping over or going on a date alone with a friend. With me, it's been done and I love it this way.
Good luck. We're all different. That's what makes sex so much fun.
gb everytime I read about your cage I get chills.

...Wow...

Women... Life...people...have a way of taking advantage/making fun of weak men..people..who cant stand up for themselves...and make us find ways to justify it...

Lets try to push back..

1 inch at a time..

Wtf? You like that? I'm not saying my sex life is great, but if my wife was that selfish, and tried to blackmail me to control me, she wouldn't be my wife.

tIME
 

Time to get a new wife and cut your loses.... You have to had "attitude" that you both co-exist w/ everyday.. not just on swing nights.. EVERYDAY.

Wife fucks big dicks
 

You don't understand, we've been married a long time. All the money is from her family. We don't work. Also one night she had me tied up on the bed with my ass up. ( my dick was in its cage) I hadn't cum in a month so when she fucked my ass, with her big strapon rubber dick, it caused cum to pour out of my cage. (It's not like cumming. You have no feeling like you're cumming.) Her girlfriend took plenty of pictures with my face clearly visable. Those are in a safety deposit box somewhere. My wife does let me cum. She ties me to the bed, takes off my cage. and either sucks me or gives me a hand job once every 3 weeks to a month or so. Then I'm locked back up and THEN untied. The cage would be hard to cut off. I have a PA piercing and it's locked through there and around my balls with what they call a barrel lock. It's made out of hardened stainless so it can't be sawed off. It doesn't show through pants. Besides, she's good to me. We kiss and I play with her. We sleep together and act like a normal couple. Watching your wife fuck a man with a fat 10 inch cock is something to see. I don't care if her pussy is loaded with another mans cum, it's still great to eat and make her cum. She hates for me to jerk off so now I can't. It's Ok with me I guess.

Torture
 

I am like some of the others. It's great you share your stories but I wouldn't live that way for all the money in the world, and obviously it's her money you are living off of.
I'd rather live off food stamps and beg than have my cock in a cage and be tortured like that.
So if you refuse, what is your wife going to do with those pictures?
You need to think this over before you do get hurt. It's time to put a cage on her pussy and get some strange stuff of your own.
Sorry this is how I feel about it.

As so very often, Model T speaks words of wisdom. I agree with him 100%.

Gbdick, as long as you are happy with your lifestyle, it is no one's concern but yours. I must admit that it is a strange arrangement and one I would never do, but more power to you. On the other hand, if you aren't ok with it, you need to put a stop to your wife.

Wife fucks big dicks
 

I'm happy enough with it. I've gotten to really like watching my wife fuck guys with very large dicks. She says the bigger the better. I can get 2 hands in her now. It's like having my own porn show except I can't jerk off to it. I miss that, but the cage is comfortable and I sometimes forget I'm wearing it until my dick tries to get hard then it gets uncomfortable until it goes down. (It can't get hard at all in the cage) I try not to look at sexy girls or porn which was exactly what my wife wants. Every 2 weeks or so my wife handcuffs my hands behind me, unlocks my cage and I get an immediate hard on. You don't know how good that feels. Then my wife tells me about her latest encounter while she strokes me. She can make me cum in a minute or she can stop when I get close and start over. She's a master by now on keeping me on edge for a long time. Sometimes she has me going up to an hour. If I've done something bad she didn't like I hear about it and she stops stroking me, ices my dick and balls down, and locks me back up for another week or two. This nearly kills me. It's awful. My balls are sore all week when she does that. It doesn't happen much now. Usually she plays with me for a while and eventually lets me cum. If she feels really happy she sucks me off and swallows all my cum which is usually a lot. (In high school she was known as the blow job queen so she gives great head) I cum very hard after that long. She doesn't fuck me because neither one of us would feel anything in her giant stretched pussy. All in all it's not bad. I miss jerking off so now all I can think of is pleasing my wife. I'm the best pussy eater around now. If I don't please her I won't ever get out of the cage.

@modelT and others: gbdick is in a BDSM relationship. Its not your thing and its not my thing, but its gbdick thing - and he's happy. There are women and men who are into that.

If he wanted to get out of that situation (the photos, etc) its possible. Since he enjoys it, might as well respect that.

If he types in "HELP! CALL XYZ whatever" - he'll get help.

There is a bondage life-style magazine/catalog with all kinds of toys... like the ones below.

Or simply image search "cock cage" and see all kinds of restraints for the penis. Again, not my thing... but still impressive stuff.


PS: What I find amusing is one of the first replies to this thread, its like the guy signed up just to post that.

past weekend
 

Well, over the past weekend. She has played or had sex with 4 other men + 2 women, besides me. When we got home, we fucked each others brains out.

Most where in front of me or at the same time, some not. Went to a house party (not a sex party), in which a fellow I know - who is rather kinky, an ex boyfriend of a family friend was at. She peed on him, while he wacked off. I did tell the host about this, which he smiled. Should have seen the look on his face when I said it was done on his bed, I was joking about that part!

The peed-guy and the man from last week watched her used the toilet.

I don't know how I can say in a good story form, but she had sex with a co-worker of mine there, which turned into a 3 way with her bound to a table that she could not escape from. I have pics... :)

I guess I should try to make it more of a story... but I am slammed with work and will have to reflect a bit more on the weekend.

We had fun.

Have I turned a shy little woman into a total sl*t?

Are you willing to share any of the pics?:)

She did give me the go-ahead... :)

But I'm busy for the week to sort through some of the pics. Many I can't use.

I love eating pussy. Please share her with me!;):p:p:p:p:p:p:p

a pussy shot
 

Here is a close up of mine... sorry it took a while.

I did, on another thread: https://forum.oneclickchicks.com/showthread.php?t=187718

Twice again since the posting.
 

I've been busy in the real world for the past month and shit, trying to make a living and shit.

Last June, she went to a concert music venue I didn't care about with the same Friend for which this thread was started. We talked about coming home sometime after 12... she text me she was on the way home... but in the end, she shows up around 12. Yeah, she did point out that when she left - it was with her over-night bag, but - whatever... I don't want to get into that, its been a month.

Yesterday, she brings up that she wants him to take her to another event that very night. Okay, sure... its 9pm now, bring her back by 1~2am. Even when she got in his car, we talked about her being home at 1am or so - directly from the sat. night event. Its 2:30a that she texts she going to his place for food and a drink, fine - make it quick.

Now its past 8:30am. I'm a rather unhappy husband. No text, she doesn't answer her phone or shit.

That's 3 strikes you're out. He's not able to make sure she comes home, she's to drunk or whatever to give a fuck.

So when she gets home, I'll have some words and now, I'll put my foot down for rules.
1 - All dating privileges with this friend are void.
2 - If he wants to go with us to a club to pick up chicks, sure - fine.
3 - Him taking my wife anywhere, by himself... void.

Sounds good?

No it sounds bad. But what else are you going to do. I'm thinking you've lost your wife and taking this approach will force the issue. I haven't been in a situation like this since I was a teenager and that was a very long time ago, even then I don't want to equate my teenage break-up with your marriage going tits-up. You are essentially saying to her, choose between him and me. I hope you are ready for either answer. Good luck and keep writing.

Well, lets see... I finally went to sleep after my 8:45a post. Woke up at 12, pissed off - no text or shit. I locate the guy's number which I should have saved on my phone and text him to "bring her ass home" A few minutes late, I call her... she does pick up, first I've heard any thing from here since 3am. I let her say a few words, I hang up and turn off the phone. My way of saying - I'm pissed.

Well, she came home about 12:45. Got in bed with me and the baby sleeping next to me. I gave her little feedback - not good one. She gave me a kiss, "I love you". We have family here, and how to explain why she is out late with another man - great. It takes me over an hour to fall asleep. I wake up to her in the bathtub getting ready for work.

She gets dress, sees I'm awake. Sit next to me in the usual fashion - I say nothing. We spend a few minutes looking at each other, she knows I am pissed off. She can't say sorry or anything. Says "I love you", my response is "okay" and she leaves. I soon send her a text "I can tell by your love from all the text messages you sent me last night" - which of course, there are NO text messages or phone calls.

It hit me, BD/SM type demos, lessons and tutoring are usually in the daytime or early evening - which is what I was told they were going for. I looked up the schedule, for which the time they would get there, would be past such things and it would be open to almost anything. It would be this "Friend" first time there. I find in the dirty laundry basket, a sexy school girl outfit that she's worn to the venue with me. But when she left, she was wearing street clothes. WHICH is typical for demos and lessons. Since I walked her out to the car, she/they didn't carry anything out... so she didn't want me to see?

Now, there is a chance she did this, fearing me being jealous. For which, doing shit like this CAUSES red flags to go up... but if she wanted to hide something, she could have easily put the outfit on the shelf.
So, now I'm going to have be tactical and see how honest she will be when I ask her about last night.

Remember, I don't care if they had sex... but being very late, no comm and shit... is a problem. Its breaking my trust.

captaintrips, what I say in words, no matter how much detail I put in, will not be enough to explain our feelings and relationship... You are right, this could be trending into bad territory. But I doubt it. I am not ALL things to her, and she is NOT all things to me... thats why we have an open relationship. Do I fuck her in the ass or fisting? No - but I am able to do so with other women. Hence, I'm generally okay with this arrangement.

I doubt she'll throw away our marriage and put our toddler into turmoil for another cock. I would dump ANY woman before let her effect my marriage and family.

When she gets off work, we'll have some serious talking to do and the rules will be in place.

I know she is hurting as I've never NOT tell her "I love you" when we part.

I like the open relationship life style... I enjoy having sex with other women and watching her have sex with others. But I'd shelve it keep our relationship intact.

Update: We ended up going out after she got off work, a celebration with some friends at a gay club.

But while she was at work (before we had a chance to have a serious talk) she text me that she doesn't want a fight, want me mad at her, that she'll not got out with this friend.

We sat down and talked for about 30min. I went over it was the problem of NOT knowing whats going on, and expectations of her return home is what pissed me off. The outfit situation was not "hidden", reasoning was to not let family see, which I would have agreed. But this was me getting back to timely communication. Not when I'm trying to walk out the door.

The reason for the lateness is that they watched a movie and she feel asleep (okay, I can see that) - but I got back to her on communication. Which I think, still needs to be addressed more so.

We have some things to work out, but there are no fires. I would like for him to be able to take her to some places, that I am unable to do - so I need some one on one talk with him, if that is to continue in any way.

On a happy note, whose down for a photo of an open pussy, which I refer to as my cock warmer? :D

Photo sounds like a great idea to perk the thread back up. Glad she was receptive to listening to your concerns.

Hope all works out, but.....
 

I hate to say it, but to me it her answers sound too made up. You seem to be trusting and just maybe she is playing you because she knows that you will take any answer she gives you.
Just falling asleep doesn't answer why she didn't respond to your calls and texts. Does she always turn off her phone when she watches a movie?
I hope I am just being overly cautious but to me she doesn't seem to be giving you the complete truth/story.
Be careful.
She could be doing things behind your back right in front of you.

I didn't call her that night. That's on me. And I had found his number later in the morning.

If she's asleep, it won't wake her. I send her text messages of things to do, photos while she is sleeping in the same room with her phone three feet from her head.

She made the statement of not going out with him anymore, before I brought it up... We'll see. I'll need to talk to him personally thou. Because she wants to be ridden on his motorcycle and I told him *NO* or else... he told her in front of me, that he'd going to have to go with my rule.

Motorcycles are great and fun to ride, beautiful machines, etc. But when they are involved in an accident with a car or worse, a truck - you can bet the people in the 4-wheelers are not going to the hospital or morgue.

A pussy pic #2 "Howdy!"
 

Pretty much a one finger hole, sometimes two... :)
(I'm not small, but not huge either) This was taken about 8 months ago. So when you see a woman with a ring on that finger, it could be her...

Two Things
 

About her pussy pics: She rarely shaves... her hair grows very slowly and not thick... so she's doesn't get razor burns, unless she actually shaves herself bald, which she has done 3~4 times since we first meet.

I've got plans to make some photos specifically to share here... :)

The 2nd thing: This is a question to those who are open relationship / swing / wife sharing. Did you have speed bumps when you started doing similar kinky stuff? If you caught her having sex with another man, that she had lied about, but yet you are aware they have had sex before (maybe even in front of you), what would you do? Why I ask (A) interested in your experience or thoughts (B) My wife has been to this friend home a few times, in which I expected them to fuck, yet she tells me they did not... even thou I said at least one time "fuck, have a good time".

I told her I'm going to have a phone conversation with him, and that we need to have a IN-PERSON talk of all of us to clear the air. But I'll do a 1 on 1 phone conversation (she knows I'm going to call, since I am upfront) and tell him I have rules and expected them to be followed. No more sleep overs. Any lying or fucking behind my back = "no more sticking your penis in her pussy". And yes, I will ask him "did you fuck her last time?" as I will hold him to his response and if I find out otherwise... well, it won't be cool. If this happened, is it because they are hiding something or afraid that I'll be jealous? I don't like be lied too about anything.

If you have seen my other post (with pics), we've been to a swinger party and going to kinky&swinger one this weekend. I was able to take a few pics and videos of her being serviced by 3 guys, all total she had 5 different cocks in her that night. I got off on it, and she enjoyed it. So this weekend, I expect her to have fun with at least 2-3 guys and 1-2 women.

clitty good luck and thanks for keeping us informed even though much is depressing.
As for my wife and I we still only fool around with others while together.
We have been trying something totally different and I was actually in the next room when my wife got fucked by two old men. We have been attending a glory hole club. I guess they are rare so I'm not telling where.
The sex for her has been amazing. In fact the first time she overdid it trying to satisfy way too many men.
We stopped visiting her fuck buddies prefering this new way. This too will soon end. We are too old for this but experimenting before we move away from it all.
Good luck to you and everyone here with unusual lifestyles. I do know that many are into forms of bondage and agree whatever they do is their choice. Without different people playing different games life would get boring.........
Well not for us, it seems.
Love those great pussy pictures. Makes even an old man hungry and hard!

Well, we've had some serious talking... I think we are clearer than ever before, went over some issued we were both not aware of. I asked the guy some questions and he didn't bull shit... but she was creating the problem by being worried that I had a problem - so which meant made me uncertain as to what is going on - basically a feed-loop of distrust.

We're also good that our marriage is above anyone else too. We're still doing kinky things / party and such.

That went to shit fast.
 

On this particular thread of mine, I'm giving an update. As things kind of went so shit after the "sex in car" adventure. I won't go into huge details, for privacy and boredom reasons.

Situation involved the friend again, who I will simply call "John"...
Due to some minor health issues on both my wife and I, it has us down. I have stress out the ass with work, bills, family life, the usual crap that people call "life". This is effecting my libido too. She has her own stress with work a well.

I pick up some oddities with my wife concerning John. And I check our online phone records and find out that whats NOT on her phone shows up on the logs. Some of this is about her staying at his place overnight to help out with a project (which I know is real) and sex. I feel they are playing me.

I had to balance out "letting it go" or getting to the bottom of it. I don't want to spend months or years wondering whats going on or did go on.

I put her on the spot, about missing text messages. What didn't help was that I had her phone in my hand, and I saw some texts from john about "talking to me" She responded that I was there and handed it back to me. As we continue talking, he sends a text to "delete messages!!" which I had already seen moments before. Uh Oh.
Mind you, the content he was telling her to delete was not bothering me much, it was his action.

She stands her ground that it has nothing to do with me. John tells me nothing happened as well through text. Our relationship starts going bad quickly. She tells me a bit what those missing texts were about. As it gets worse with her in tears, she finally tells him to screen shot and send whats missing. This is in front of me, while I watch and wait.

Two screen shots are sent, filling in the missing gaps on her phone which still has my conversation.
What John sent matched what she said, and then some... plus both of their concerns with my health as well as small part of a conversation which wasn't my business. Which I told them both that I would have felt the same way. And they didn't mean for me to take something the wrong way. I fucked up on my end, but they could have handled some things better on theirs which would not have led me down this path.

I still personally apologized to both in person, even without a 2nd thought took her to John’s home help him on his project over night. I didn’t have any worries.

They decide to no longer have a friendship + sexual fun relationship. Just friends.

As the weeks go by, wife is getting colder as do I. We talked a little bit, with her saying things will get better. But this past Wednesday, we were having a good time at a bar. A couple of friends show up, a couple of roommates who live in an apartment a mile from our home. They used to work at the same company my wife works. So we all play darts, drink some more ~ having a good time. She’s horny and wants me to fuck her brains out tonight. But 20 minutes later she erupted on my ass! About me making her choose us over her friend of many years before we ever meet.

Breaking up with me, taking the baby. I had hurt her, for not trusting her. She ripped into me. We're over.
This was a shock as I've been trying to repair the damage I caused the week before. Make up for my mistakes, but she has been holding in her anger all this time.

She tells me to go home, as she will not leave the bar with me. I tell the buddies (one of them has a live in girlfriend) that she is wasted, to let her sleep it off at their place since the bar is closing in an hour and don’t want to make a bigger scene.

The next morning, she doesn’t come home. But got a ride to work. She tells me to leave her alone. I’m heart broken. I fucked up with the love of my life. My sexy wife who I think about every day.

There are always challenges when it comes to swapping, open relationships, etc. She used to be jealous early on and it flipped to my side for different reasons. Communication and honesty is so important for all those involved. This is part 1 of 3. Part 2 was the weekend, Part 3 is unknown.

Preview of part 2: I went to her work to try and talk to her before other workers and customers show up. She is short with me and I leave. As I leave, I notice a reddish mark on her neck.

sorry
 

Clitty, I feel seriously sorry for you. I hope it all works out. You are correct, though. It is all about honesty. If both of you are not included, its cheating...not hotwifing. :(

Not part two
 

Thanks Netcouple, but IMO - this is was trial with some big errors. For others here who do are in open relationship/swinging, etc life-styles. I'm betting that they too have had problems here and there, especially in the beginning. Swinging seems to enter lots of couple's lives as they get older and have been together to have a strong bond.

This isn't part two, because I've been busy with work and the wife and I have been doing a lot of talking and other things to repair the damage. We are both aware that a break down in communication was a major factor.

Part Two is still ongoing for me to type it out (even had a face-to-face talk with the young man (23yr old) last night, as he felt guilty of the unplanned drunk-sex with my wife). Part three is my gift project that I'm working as an apology.

I wanted to let you know that we're in a much better place today than 30 days ago. It was a fight that was needed. We love each other dearly and still plan and desire a lifetime relationship with each other. I didn't want you thinking that things got worse. It may be 1~4 days before I post part 2.

I share this is a way to help others who will find themselves in similar situations.

Good!
 

I'm glad! :D

Part 2 - end of drama
 

First, I want to clarify & correct a few tidbits. You know how it is, you remember later what you forgot to include – there is so much more in life than what we can put into words. For those who haven’t read the first of this tread (it kind of emotional with a few nude pics) or other posts. I’m 46 with a 31yr old wife, she’s about 103lbs today and looks pretty much the same when she was 25.

Part 1+ correction: Early on when we were having a private talk about the messages and I was waiting for proof of the deleted conversation. My wife wanted invoked the monogamous rule. Which is that if we feel that our relationship is in danger, we would stop playing with others. I had countered that the situation has nothing to do with sex. Even thou I only had sex with one other woman this year, she’s had sex with 9 different men and 2 women, and NO – its not a competition! :)

Then when she had the blow up at the bar with me (while a few people nearby are “not” paying attention) – she talks about our lifestyle and that its bullshit for me to have issues when I didn’t go along with the monogamous rule. This is part of her anger and her commitment to me that she offered on the table the weeks before.

Also, the young man in question from previous update is not 23yrs old.

Part two is important. Part 3 is funny, trust me.

And now return to our feature presentation “Share of the Wife – Challenges”.

I left her work that morning, shaken. I send her a text about “lets have a civil talk”, her response wasn’t uplifting. She was sober, mad and busy at work. I went home and got some sleep for a few hours. The mark on her neck barely registered, it could also be an injury or I’m saw something incorrectly, as I had more pressing concerns and was exhausted, I went home and slept as well as I could.

I wake up after 12pm, eat and start working online. I see that John is ON facebook, its easier to type on a computer than a smartphone, so I open a chat window with him since they’ve done a lot of talking as friends, more so than sex. I tell him that I assume he’s talked to my wife about the fight and that she won’t walk to me.

John responds “~all I know is that you left her at a bar and she stayed at XYZ” (actual FB message quote).
I reply with what actually happened, he says “Oh”. He knows she was mad at me about my emotions and behavior, and has been afraid to talk to me about our problems. We talk online for about 10 minutes, where I told him I wasn’t upset about the sex and that I am aware of some problems, but not the extent of how much she has been hurting. John tells me that he is no longer interested in sex-play with my wife, as he wants the friendship with her that they have had for 5 years and not to be a home wrecker. I reply that I’m cool with him, and ask him if they have done sexual texting since. He says “yes, she’s horny. I made her angry when I laughed” – I laughed too and let him get back to work as I too had things to do.

My parents are staying at our home for a few week as it is, so I’d already told them she was drunk and went to a friends place. In our home, getting drunk is not allowed. We like our home to be a stable family environment.
So my parents don’t know any of the shit that went down and of course they don’t know my open relationship lifestyle either. Its one thing when I was dating lots of girls, but another to be dating girls while married ;)

An hour or so later, my wife asks me to bring her some items to work, since she went directly to work from where she crashed. I meet her in the parking lot, she looks tired. I also brought the baby, as I know she missed him. She does give me a long strong hug, says she is sorry about blowing up on me and thinking I left her at a bar. I told her I’m glad she’s okay and talking to me, that she had the right to be upset. We’ll have serious talking after work and she kisses me goodbye.

Unfortunately, they were short staffed and she had to work a little later. I decided to visit her for a bit, which I do normally. Her building is next to a strip mall and I get a couple of drinks for us. There are some young guys hanging around a car and one of them is from the bar the night before, an ex-co worker. I walked up to him and we chatted, I apologize for the drama from the previous night – thanking him and his friend for taking her to their place. There were, after all other men at the bar that we don’t know who were being social with. If they were not there, I wouldn’t have left.

I’m back to my wife’s job, she sends me a text that she’s off work for a short while, in the car with John – that she was too busy to see that he was stopping by. It was a minute later I see them in his car. They have been talking for 20+ minutes. She goes back to work to get her things, I talk to John about the events.

So John, the guy who I had earlier thought was trying to hurt me a few weeks before, was talking to my wife to talk to me and other things. We said our goodbyes, had dinner – then had a sit down talk. I won’t go over the details (Already too much boring shit) – but communication, mis-communication and mis-read actions caused this bullshit. She thought I was not sexually attracted to her. She’s in severe pain and stress – that she didn’t want to add to my stress with her problems. Thus, bullshit caused this – it was a feedback loop in which we were getting at each other. While my “meeting about cheating” was bad, I didn’t want to have questions and have things simmer… that to talk about issues is HOW you save relationships. I told her never be afraid to say what problems she is having – WHEN SOBER, as I have been working on.

She brings up that she, the friends and two guys left the bar, went skinny dipping somewhere, lost the two bar guys, and crashed out at place of the people we know. We have both been there many times for social parties as they are younger with no kids. Drinking, games, movies, etc. Its not a place we talk about life-styles, etc.
So I looked at her neck more so, and said “I guess that didn’t happen at work?” She admitted to fucking the younger man, who I thought had a girlfriend relationship who lives else-ware. I brought it up before she did, I figure say something now since we’re all talking.

The one with the live-in girlfriend went to bed. Meanwhile the wife was up with Dave, and she seduced him – both of them are drunk and easy. She was honestly sorry about it. I hugged her and said I’m okay, behind honest with me is more important. I then said “well, you kind of threw out the Monogamy rule out, eh?” she laughed.

In the past week or so since during this fight and since, she has seen two doctors and has some issues going on, everything is treatable. But has been a source of many problems that we were not aware. She’s feeling better already and also know more about her health.

We would actually have SERIOUS talks about our relationship every day, when we can. And are doing very well. We are solid.

Part 3 is coming soon… I have a talk with Dave and more details about the sex. More fun than part two!