Sister vs Sister
 

This is my new saga and it is called Sister vs Sister and you are probably wondering who am I going to use and you guessed it it will be a saga with Brie vs Nikki in a handful of matches culminating with something at the end to get my next saga ready for all of you so with that being said I hope you enjoy it and leave comments on what you think about this new saga

U doing this or the Kelly vs Brie first

Hey
 

Hey didnt you hear villain he told me to worry on getting better but I will post Brie vs kelly first so keep working

Yeah but u said u do the Brie vs Kelly first

Hey
 

I'm working on match 2 right now

Hey
 

Part 1 of this story is almost typed

Update
 

Part 1 of this story is typed and reviewed and I hope to start writing it on paper later today so stay tuned

Stop making posts about the story almost being done. You're spamming.

What?
 

It's called a update if I don't update they will think I'm not doing anything you would know if you wrote something instead of saying stop spamming plus I'm letting them know so they won't say when is it going to be done and how far are you because last few stories I wrote I took 3 weeks probably even more than that and they all thought the series was dead so I'm trying not to make the same mistake dude

if you have an ongoing interaction or collaboration with another member, please use the PM system (in the upper right corner) to send that person a message directly. This forum is for posting stories, not public conversations.

Also, please use punctuation. Not so much an offense against forum rules so much as offense against humanity and English in particular. The lack of punctuation makes your work extremely difficult to read.

Hey
 

I know that but I had already sent 2 messages and it said I had ti wait 720 minutes and I have punctuation for my stories now just not when I post stuff like this because there's no need for punctuation when I am prob not even writing 2 lines in someone else's story like good job or keep up the good work or that's awesome man thanks

There is ALWAYS time for punctuation.

Hey
 

That's common sense or you can say grandma let's eat

Thanks Goa
 

Thanks for trying Goa. But he can't be bothered. That's what makes it annoying when he spams the board with unpunctuated updates for stories we really don't want to read. It really takes the attention away from all of the great, high-quality stories that are on here.

Is that true
 

Do you really not want to read my stories I am getting better but, like I told him there is no need when I'm saying part 2 is done or good job

Hey
 

What's a appropriate number of parts for this fued to go toe to toe with the best stories on this forum

It has nothing to do with the amount of parts, it's the quality of the writing. No matter how often you defend yourself (even against a bloody site moderator) you still just plain haven't stopped to look at how to make a story more enjoyable. Adding a paragraph or occasionally using a comma will not make you a good writer, neither will a story that's forty chapters long. You need to dedicate yourself to quality, sincere writing that is easy on the eyes and enjoyable to read.

noone wans to reed a stroy like this even if its abuot bellas or watever.

Sentences like that are why you aren't considered a good writing. You can't just choose a popular topic and suddenly become great because you wrote about it. Your stories are barely readable and the readers with even a basic understanding of grammar and punctuation cry. I'd forgive a typo or two, but it's like you can't even stomach reading your own story to look over and see how the final product turned out.

Suggestions
 

See? With the way your stories currently are, no one cares how many chapters are in it. Its not just your grammar. Like MKDude said, your stories consistently suffer from a lack of quality.

I'm tired of having the same argument. I'm not here to be your English tutor and I don't want it to seem like I'm ripping on you. I'll just give you these last bits of advice and be on my way.

Instead of writing multiple stories at once focus on writing one quality story at a time. Work on writing an actual storyline that flows. I know that you like to do "requests" but you need to provide a reason that your two divas want to strip each other. Don't just throw a bunch of stripping matches together for no reason.

When you write your characters make sure they actually have a character. Take Dayjib and 1993wwe's work for example. They write what the women are feeling and thinking in the situation. This gives you a better grasp on their character and allows you to focus on the embarrassment of them being stripped.

Work more on your description. You're constantly stressing the color of a girl's underwear when that's really the least important thing about the situation. What matters is the girl wearing the underwear. Describe their body and their reaction. Use your words to paint a picture of what we're supposed to be seeing.

That's my last bit of advice for you. Do what you want with it. I'm done.

Hey
 

This story I will give them a reason to strip each other .

I would leave your stories inside a Word Document. Just start punctuating comments and writing as if this was being turned into somebody. Then, we can all re-evaluate your work. Seeing comments like "I will beat ur ass" is not something I expect to see in the future despite the hilarity behind it.

Let's end the comments here on a happy note:

Hey
 

Hey thnx but I didn't say that lol.

been there done that with two sisters

Hey
 

Hey ok then I'm gonna take a popular vote keep doing this or do a poke strip hoenn series post your comments on what you think I should do I will give you 3 days to vote

story thoughts
 

just to put in my 2 cents. I wouldn't mind seeing a story about the current storyline. where bree is Nikki's assistant for 30 days. some interesting scenarios that you can do for a ENF story with that.

Hey
 

Ok thnx I will do that but it will be after 10 parts leading up to that and if its ok with you could I make them wrestle again at hell in a cell and whoever wind it could be Brie or Nikki and the loser will have to be the winners pa until survivor series

Update
 

Sister vs sister saga has already been outlined and I have written 6 parts out of 33 yes I said 33 that's how long this sister vs sister saga is going to go and I hope you will like it and enjoy it

Crossroads
 

I just watched survivor series a couple of hours ago and I felt like I was at a crossroads because

1) I love aj and she lost

2) I love Brie and she didn't screw nikki

3) I hate nikki and she won

4) but I did love the kiss between Brie and aj

5) so now without triple h and Stephanie I say at TLC plz make it a

Triple Threat Bra and panties match for the divas title

Part 1
 

This is part 1 of Sister vs Sister so let's get this show on the road.

Lillian Garcia - " this contest is scheduled for one- fall , and it is for the divas championship and the only way to win is by pinfall or submission.

" You Can Look But You Can't Touch" plays over the speakers.

Lillian - " introducing first from Scottsdale , Arizona being accompanied to the ring by Nikki Bella Brie Bella . "

" Let's Light It Up" plays over the speakers.

Lillian - " introducing her opponent from Union City , New Jersey AJ Lee. "

And she came down to the ring wearing her usual ring gear which consists of a black love bites t-shirt a pair of blue jorts , and a pair of converses.

Brie was wearing a light pink shirt w/ a matching pair of shorts and matching pair of boots.

The ref raised the diva's title up in the air , and then rung the bell officially starting this match.

They started w/ a tie- up , and AJ irishwhipped Brie into the ropes , but Brie bounced back with a clothsline.

But, AJ ducked and Brie bounced off the ropes and hit AJ w/ a pitch perfect dropkick.

Brie quickly went for a cover , but AJ kicked out at 1 .

Then, Brie picked AJ up and started to irishwhip AJ , but AJ reversed it by irishwhipping Brie over the ropes and outside of the ring.

Brie fell on a non paying attention Nikki.

They both stood up , but when they did they were met with a suicide dive from AJ.

That sent both Brie and Nikki Bella into the barricade.

AJ quickly got back in the ring.

The ref started counting , but Brie got in the ring at a count of 5.

Then , Nikki Bella got on the apron turned her sister Brie around and slapped her across the face.

Aj quickly put Brie in her black widow submission hold and Brie was forced to tap out.

Lillian - " here is your winner and still the diva's champion AJ Lee.

AJ got her title looked at Nikki and started skipping towards the back.

Then , Nikki got in the ring picked her sister Brie up , and gave her a powerful Bella Buster.

Then , Nikki grabbed both sides of Brie's shorts and pulled them down and off her creamy legs to reveal Brie's red and brown panties w/ the word yes on them.

Nikki took her shorts and left her sister in the middle of the ring in her panties.

Brie started to stir and looked down and screamed and ran to the back to try and cover herself from being embarassed.

Well that was part 1 let me know what you think and part 2 will feature Nikki vs Paige so stay tuned.