sex in marriage
 

Somtimes i hear stories of women telling about their sexlive while they are married.

Often they have seks to fulfil obligations being married,because there men want seks.

Some tell me stories as:
I spread my legs and i let him fuck me and in the meanwhile í am thinking about other thinks.
They dont enjoy the seks themselves,but they see it as an obligation to give him sex

Are there man who have this experience with their wives?

I have not myself, but my father was married to a women once who thought giving him sex was a big chore. Me and him was very close when he was alive and would talk to each other about everything, this was of course after I was older and had served in the army. Anway from my understanding of what he was telling me she would only give it to him because she felt like she had to, although she didn't want to most of the time.

sex in mariage
 

the strange thing about is that they sometimes are very willing with other man.

Also strange is the fact that giving it up doesn't cost anything or take too long if she's doing anything other than just lying on her back with her legs spread. Keeps him happy. Maybe some of these women don't want him to be happy?

why they won't
 

why are these woman giving there husband not giving a good fuck.

some men have to beg for sex by there woman,
and sometimes they are allowed to have a quick fuck.

They show there man there man that they are not interested at all

reply
 

thanks for the answer.

there are a lot woman who are not interested at all when they have sex with their husband.
because they are not interested at the moment and for different other reasons.
they also show this disintrest to their husband who is allowed to make a quicky.
but when they have the oppurtunity to fuck another man they gave themselves completely.
in this case its different and i wish her all the luck with this third man

Talk about the blues. I need advise! how about 25 years of sexual frustration and pain! My wife has issues with what I suspect is a direct result of abusive unloving parents. Add to that a conservative Victorian frigid mother and a playboy porn addicted father.
After years of attempting to sexually satisfy her I have given up this year. I have made no advances all year. She has not once even mentioned sex. I bet she is relieved I stopped trying. that way, she no longer has to suffer through it. Can you imagine not getting any enjoyment from sex at all! She claims she enjoys the "closeness" but nothing else. I have been a giving lover to the extreme. There is nothing I can do to turn her on. I have tried, asked, and everything else for decades.
But do you know what is worse than never being able to turn on your lover? How about a lover that makes absolutely no effort to give back anything sexual. A kiss goodbye and a hug is all she desires. She never touches me, bones and joints gross her out. She never gives a handjob or God forgive a bj. She tried it a few times but just couldn't get past the precum that seeps out. I remember her giving me one handjob to completion in the ninties, on advise from a therapist when intercourse was stopped until she could get past the pain of penetration. It was the only time I came outside of her vagina. She had the deer in the headlights look on her face! I had more sex in a year with a prior gf than in my 25 years married! No lie!
The problem is I do love her. She is a great person and fun to be with. She just cant overcome this. Weve been to good therapists but they really do nothing but depress her beyond being daily functional.
Bet nobody can top that!

former relations before mariage
 

make woman a difference in lovers.
by example does she like former lovers more than sex with her husband?

Yeah, that IS a problem. I had a wife like that. HAD, that is. Mine was a different situation; she was just domineering and bossy. I could never please her no matter what I did, therefore she was mad at me all the time for stuff I wasn't even aware of, therefore she wouldn't give me any sex.

In my opinion life is way too short to struggle through it with a frigid wife. Being sexually available to each other is implicit in the wedding vows. She should have never married you if she never intended to share all of herself with you.

There are lots of women out there who love sex. After 20 years of sexual frustration just like yours I finally divorced my first wife and found one of the other kind. The sense of well-being and happiness that flows from a situation where sex is always available even if you don't necessarily want it at that moment is like a night and day difference from my first marriage.

I would seriously contemplate whether or not you wish to spend the rest of your married life being unwillingly celibate. You've demonstrated in your post that there's nothing else YOU can do, and SHE'S not going to change at this late date. Get a girlfriend or a divorce.

From January 2004 to today sex with my wife total is 15 times.

hello canada

what is her excuse for not having sex with you?

and what is the reason when she allows you to have sex with her?

I can equal it
 

I had more sex in a year with a prior gf than in my 25 years married! No lie!
The problem is I do love her. She is a great person and fun to be with. She just cant overcome this. Weve been to good therapists but they really do nothing but depress her beyond being daily functional.
Bet nobody can top that![/QUOTE]

I also went through a similar situation as you for just on 25 years before finally giving up and separating though partly because of financial matters. Since being separated I have been with a few different women and studied quite a bit of dating/sexual advice and techniques and have learnt 2 things.

Firstly one of the main reasons for limiting sex is that it is a power thing for them and by withholding it they can control the situation which is why they never seem happy, if they are happy then it means that you have won. In many situations in marriage they have traditionally been the junior partner and this is one area where they can be dominant which also explains why they will sometimes stray. They do want sex but if they give in too easily to their husband then they lose their bargaining position but this doesn't apply if they do it with other men. Sounds crazy to us but not from a woman's perspective.

The second is that many of us were/are not great lovers. I had very bad PE problems until illness helped alleviate that problem somewhat many years later. I have since studied proper sexual techniques and one night after a torrid session my current partner said "No woman has ever been properly fucked until they have been fucked by you" which made me feel 10 foot tall! The best advice that I can give is for you to go to YouPorn and check out the videos in the instructional tag and in particular "How to Eat Pussy Like a Champion" with Nina Hartley, Ron Jeremy and others. Also the ones by Eros Exotica are very good.

If you can become very good at it your wife will (a) appreciate it very much and hopefully want it more and (b) understand that you are now a desirable option for other women and be more accommodating to stop you from straying. Remember if you wanted to become an Olympic athlete you would train and study hard at your chosen event. Sex is much the same, the better you are it the more rewarding it will be and finally don't be in a hurry, take your time with foreplay (they love massages with music) and make them cum first or together.

sex in mariage
 

are there women who are forced to fuck their man in marriage?

Why would anyone stay married to it if there was no sex!! it surely can't be for their stimulating conversation and company!! I'd rather be on my own then put up with that!!

You can get sex anywhere, or you can do it by yourself.... Neither of these things are true of stimulating conversation or company.

@sooty: When women use sex as a power over their men, then it can never be loving each other. At least not on an equal basis.
When mine would do that, the sec would be over and I would not feel committed to her, so in that case I would be feeling allowed to find it elsewhere.

do you recognize
 

its the time in the week

you are allowed to fuck her but she let you know she is bored and doesnt have any interest,
so she gave you a quick fuck

job
 

she has to do her duty

Not as simple as it sounds
 

You are right it was not loving on an equal basis and one time she did in fact say that if sex was important to me then I should find someone else to do it with. Now this would seem to be the green light to go for it but it was not that simple. At the time I had been involved for a little while with a pentacostal church so she knew she had me in an awkward position. I was faced with no sex in marriage but if I went elsewhere then I was breaking one of the 10 Commandments so had a problem there plus my daughters were about 16 and 11 at the time and I didn't want to do anything that might cause them problems in later life.

Our finances were very tight so divorce would have been difficult for both of us so I held on until the girls were 21 and 16 by which time I had become quite ill and money was worse so maybe separating earlier would have been better? These are the sorts of conditions that cause many couples to stay together when in reality they would prefer to separate and amongst my circle of contacts I can name a few couples like this.

imagination
 

you have to use youre imagination when she don't show interest

A very thought-provoking thread. I thank you guys for sharing your situations.

My wife doesn't do sex. I've written about it before. In five years of marriage we had sex four times, and then it went downhill... LOL.

It's absurd and complicated. I should point out I'm not a mean person. I'm very reasonable. I'm pleasant and respectful to her. People in general seems to like my company. I'm not physically repulsive. The lack of sex stems from something in her.

But I did make some headway recently. There was an incident that led to her changing her ways, at least a little bit.

Her sister was going to Barbados with her husband. My wife wanted us to go also. I pointed out how she never has sex with me and hasn't been a very willing wife in that way. She started screaming and acting nasty. This was her usual response when I brought up the lack of sex.

So I walked away while saying, "See, I said nothing mean. I was only being factual. We haven't has sex in I dunno, two years. And when I try to discuss it, you yell at me. This is why your sister will be going to Barbados, and you won't."

She thought about this for a while and then came back to me. She was apologetic. She said I was right. She said she wanted to make it up to me. The trip was in eight weeks. She made an offer. What if she had sex with me once a week for the next eight weeks, would I then take her to Barbados?

I said yes. Fine. That would be wonderful.

Then I waited for the sex to begin. First week went by. Nothing. I reminded her of the deal. She said she'd been too busy, but she'd make it up to me by doing it twice in the second week.

The second week went by. Nothing. She said she was so busy talking to her sister about the trip and what we would do when there, that she didn't have time for sex.... but she would make it up to me in the third week...

You get the idea. Eight weeks went by with no sex.

Two days before the scheduled trip she had suitcases laid out on the bed with clothes in them. I asked what she was doing. She said she was packing for the big trip.

I said, "But we aren't going. I thought you knew that. It was your decision not to go. We made a deal for sex once a week for eight weeks. You didn't have sex with me at all. I thought that was you deciding it wasn't worth it and you didn't want to go anymore, so I canceled the reservations."

Pow.

She was livid. She was tearful. She was apologetic. She was livid again. She hopped back and forth with her emotions.

She tried to say she would make it up to me and have sex once we were in Barbados. LOL.

I said, "No, too late, we have no reservations anymore. It's over. We can't go. You sister will be there, but you won't. Oh well, it was your choice."

She became very sullen for a month. Lots of mysterious phone calls with her friends behind closed doors. Then oddly, she brought up the idea of sex. And we did it. First time in forever. Now for this past year we've been doing it once a month. We've had more sex in this past year then in our prior 16 years of marriage.

Is this her realizing life isn't all about her and what she wants? I doubt it. I sense it's more akin to a prostitute realizing she won't get paid until she puts out. But for now, I'll take it with the hope that one day she'll realize what it means to be a good wife.

It was good that you stuck to your guns on the deal! Well done! Life is way too short for all that. I do hope it gets better for you!

That's a surprise
 

usually they will fuck you for the trip.

I think you are in a tough position, I likely wouldn't want to have sex with someone who obviously didn't enjoy it, but I can understand why you did what you had to do. I think your wife need serious therapy.

Didn't her sister ask why she didn't come?
You could tell the truth. Maybe her sister can talk her to reason.

Same here....
 

I am in the same boat you are in. Been married for 34 years now and haven't had any type of sexual relations with my wife for the past 5 years now. Before that... it was maybe once a year. Years ago... when we were trying to have a kid... it was anytime and all the time!!! Of course that was because my wife had a reason for doing it. It wasn't for the pleasure.. if was for the natural purpose of creating a baby. She would even measure her temperature and all that bullshit... and call me at work and say you need to come home right now... the TIMING is just right.

She say's no to the following... but I really think that her parents screwed her up. They were the type of people that said Sex is nasty, you don't do that, etc. Her mother was a germ freak and it carried over. Washes her hands every two seconds... won't touch anything that seems dirty, unless she picks it up with a papertowel or tissue.

I'm 56 now... so thinking about getting a divorce is not really one of my options financially. I just live with it and look at a lot of porn on the web. At least I have a hand that can take care of my release... but it would be nice
to have my wifes warm hand around me to get me off.

For those of you out there that have partners that are very sexually fulfilling... I congratulate you and tell you to hang on to them!!!

thought about her ex husbands
 

it really turns me on the thought about it

sunday
 

its sunday darling time to fuck

Not to be mean, but...

If you accept being treated a certain way, you communicate that you agree with the treatment. The longer you accept it the more you reinforce that perception until you get to a point where the person giving you that treatment would be legitimately shocked to hear you object.

Please keep in mind that I am not talking about the absolute morality of how you are being treated - for instance, wife abuse is never okay no matter how long a woman 'accepts' it - but it is an undeniable truth that part of what helps perpetuate that cycle is the inability of the victim to break themselves free from the abuse.

Make no mistake: Short of some type of medical development or physical handicap, having your wife refuse sex with you for even a month is a serious presumption on your relationship; when you start talking about multiple months or even years you are absolutely talking about emotional abuse and a rejection of the fundamentals of a true marital relationship. You aren't a husband and wife at that point regardless of whatever reasons that you continue to cling to the titles. Kids, economics, whatever it is or however significant the reason is. Remember that ideally marriage precedes all of those things and establishes the foundation for supporting those things, not the other way around. A physically intimate relationship is absolutely one of the cornerstones of a marriage and it separates 'just friends' from 'lovers', and if two people are not lovers then they have no business being married. If sex wasn't important to marriage, after all, then why the hell would anyone have EVER cared about sex before marriage anyway?

In the end, it is up to you to decide how much abuse you are willing and able to tolerate. Just verbalizing your objections is meaningless if you don't back them up with action because your actions will always speak loudest. PuffyNips story is a perfect example of that principle in action; as long as she thought he was still just talking nothing changed. It was only when he proved that it was more than talk that she was forced to decide.

And yes, she might decide the sex isn't worth it and dump you. But then if that's true, you aren't losing your wife; you aren't even getting dumped. All that is happening then is that your roommate is moving out.

Men not getting sex
 

My third wife was a real fun lady. She was nearly my age but really had a thing for older men. While working at a corner gas station, she became friends with an older guy who's wife was having medical issues and had given up on sex a few years earlier. Over time they got to be pretty good friends and I even met him and he was a nice guy. In his work, there were times when he had to stay over night away from home. He finally got the nerve to ask if she would go with him on one of these trips. When she mentioned it, I said go for it and have fun. We did have a somewhat open relationship. So he had a fun companion on his trip and some good sex to make it even better. To this day he still doesn't believe that I was happy they were doing the trips. The first one led to others, as I hoped. Usually a while after the trip, I would get the details. Most important, they were good friends and had a great time together. They were basically fuck buddies. I never minded because she was a fun lady and at times when we fucked, I knew that her friend had been in her a short time earlier. We all hated rubbers, so it was even better.

I have always hoped to have something on the side like this, but at least she got to enjoy the fun.

Side note, her 40 year old daughter also had a thing for older men, and her and I were very close, but never went that far.

Problem
 

My wife is 31 and we have been married six years. The problem is that she wants to have sex many times a day. Yes, she's beautiful, but it's too much! Does somebody has a similar problem? Can you suggest anything?

When she wants to fuck and you can't do it, bring her to me. lol!

would you let her have a lover?

Years back, I had a FwB who wanted it almost that much, and I hate to say it, but you can only do so much :(

I had another friend who told me that 'she never has a headache'. Sadly we never got that far...

The truth is hard to hear
 

Thank you for your posting...it hit a nerve. I am 61 and have not had sex with my wife in over ten years. We went to several therapists, but all my wife heard was everything was my fault. I have not held her accountable. I just need to decide what actions I will take next. She needs to feel some of the emotional distress I have been struggling with for over a decade.

Just facts
 

For all husbands within non-sex marriages...

Women do not really understand how important sex is for husbands. I said to my wife, that there ARE also women who understand this and when this kind of woman approaches me, I better be "happily married" or something will happen.

This really got in to her. Women do not necessarily understand man, but they understand what other women do and think.

I read this, and as a man I feel so bad for you. I have been married for 45 years to a woman who loves sex. When we were first married, we fucked like rabbits. As time passed, the sex was less frequent, but the quality improved immensely. She learned to try a multitude of things. Nothing was taboo. Try it once, and more if she if she liked it. There were times she asked for anal, and times she did not want it. But when she did, she loved it.

She is multi-orgasmic, and a squirter at times. The first time she squirted, I was down on her, and she was at first embarrassed. When I told her i loved it, there was no stopping her. She loved to watch herself squirt, and loved to see herself get fucked.

She likes porn movies, and is able to cum seeing a cock enter a pussy. I can make her cum just by talking dirty to her. We have been to swingers parties, although we only watched, and she liked to be watched. Once we went to a clothing optional resort in Cancun, and I got to watch guys eat her on the side of the hot tub.

At our age, the sex has dwindled down to a couple of times a month, but it is still good.


Guys, talk to your wives. The quality improved because my wife was afraid she would lose me to someone half my age. That would never have happened, because she was a much better fuck, but I did not need her to know that.

Take her to dinner, and tell her to skip the panties, and wear only thigh high stockings. Grab a feel discretely, and let her know she is special. Encourage her to flash the valet as she gets out of the car, and she will notice the attention she gets when you leave.

That was a great post! Yeah we all slow down over the years the key thing is to "try" and keep it interesting. I have seen my wife get laid by a very good friend a few years ago. She has had a couple of erotic massages where one guy went down on her and she had multiple orgasms (that was very erotic to watch). She will never completely admit to enjoying her massages or the sex she's had but suffice it to say she never said no! As they say no means no but if no isn't said then the sky's the limit. :D

She
 

She don't want.

Barmixer and some of you others, great posts. We need some women to tell their side of this.
When you get time read the erotix XXX post started by my wife DOLLIE THANKS 0CC.
After nearly 57 years of great sex and marriage she shocked me by going the final step. I believe we will die having sex. Couples do need to add some fun to their sex lives to keep things interesting.

Encourage her to have fun with strangers and enjoy life. Your sex life will never die.