Why do women feel embarrased being seen in their underware and not just in a bikini?
 

A few years ago my wife and I went on a short vacation with another couple and shared a house. Together as couples we spent a lot of time at the beach and pool in our swim suits. My friend's wife, Valeria, was wearing a bikini that probably revealed more skin than most underware sets.

On one particular night, we (the men) decided to go to play bowling. My wife was already sleeping meanwhile Valeria was getting a shower. On the way to the parking I realize that I had forgotten the car keys so I returned to the house.

By entering the house I saw Valeria, who had stepped out of the bathroom, ironing her and her husbands outfits in just her bra and panties. She had been walking around in front of us all day long in somewhat skimpy bikini without thinking to much about it, but as she stood there in her underwear she somehow felt uncomfortable and embarrased.

Why do you think women act like that? Which is the difference?

I think it is just psychological, for the most part. I have a friend who I have seen in a string bikini that barely covered anything, and once in a bra that covered more than even some of her tank tops, and she freaked when I saw her bra, and her bra was completely lined and really boring.

Underwear can be different, though, since most underwear is a lot thinner than bikini bottoms, which are usually lined.

Similar: I shared a hotel room with a female friend and her husband once. She would prance around in a tank top and underwear before getting dressed, but once she put a skirt on, she would be extremely cautious about me seeing up her skirt, even though I just saw her in her underwear before/as she was putting her skirt on. So, she has no issues with me seeing her yellow underwear, but once her skirt was on, it changed everything.

It's just what they've been taught, public clothes are different than private clothes. No matter how skimpy a bathing suit it is "public clothes", no matter how iron-clad a bra & panties are, they're private clothes. When we were growing up my sisters used to run around in panties and bras all the time getting dressed for school, but once dressed you better not look twice. Big sisters are scary, frightening creatures anyway, I stayed clear of them.

With so many women wearing sports bras who can tell the difference. I do a lot of work where they photograph models for women's clothes for the web and catalogs, the models are modest about changing, but they don't close off the studio when shooting underwear or swimsuits.

I understand...
 

My wife and I went skinny dipping with several friends one evening before a wedding. The next day, they saw her in her bra, panties, garter belt and stockings and she cowered and got very upset. The story is in non-fiction under "Fond Memories of Dating" or something like that.

The same reason some guys get turned on by panty upskirts when you can get better crotch shots at the beach. It is the idea of see something that was not intended to be seen.

Yes, there is something about seeing something that is taboo. I think it is all about being somewhere wearing something that you would not normally be wearing. Its kind of like the difference in thrill between having sex at home behind a closed door vs. a public place. Its all about being seen.

What do you think?

This comic strip could explain this thread by itself.

My whole time favorite question. I try to discuss this matter with my female friends when opportunity shows but still couldn't get an satisfactory answer :)

I wonder about this as well, my Buddy had an ex Girl friend before who posts lots of pictures on FB just wearing a bikini 2 piece at pool parties and at the Beach but had a hard time changing at the girls dormitory and even felt a bit awkward to strip to her underwear infront of her boyfriend.

Well I guess this is also the reason why we men find Bras and Panties more appealing compared to swimsuits that even just a small Panty peek/upskirt gives us a big thrill/

A lady in my office...
 

About a decade ago, I worked in a large corporate office. I hosted some meetings in my office and I could not help but notice that one of the ladies, in her 30's, was showing a lot of leg and you could sometimes see her stocking tops and sometimes even the elastic garter coming from the garter belt, usually white.

One day, when we were alone---and I knew her fairly well---I asked her if my wife had told her about my great appreciation of stockings in a 99% pantyhose world. She laughed and said no, that she wore them because they were more comfortable and allowed her skin to breathe instead of being kept in a tight wrapper like a sausage. She asked if she was showing too much, and I assured her she wasn't. To my surprise, she pulled her skirt to her waist and said "this could not be less sexy. I wear a plain garter belt and granny panties---certainly nothing worth looking at". She had good legs and the granny panties had a small blue pattern on them of some sort, but they were certainly not transparent. The panties reminded me of something a young girl might wear with a animal on them. We remained friends and occasionally she would give me a flash if we were alone, but the underwear stayed very utilitarian.

It is nice to know some ladies still wear stockings.

I've wondered about it also. Girls and women walk around beaches and public swimming pools wearing the skimpiest bikinis without feeling concerned about anything. Yet if the wind raise their skirts or somebody pantses them (usually revealing regular underwear) they freak out.

Another aspect of this social phenomena is seeing their recently washed panties when those are hanging from the clothesline. They're like "OMG! Don't look at there!", but if we were talking about their bikinis then it's no big deal.

My personal opinion is that it steems from childhood. For some reason I've never been able to understand fully, we learn since we're little brats that underwear is just funny; women's underwear is all flowerly, lacy and overall girly. So, when exposed in given situations it becomes a source of ridicule. At least this is what I personally think.

On the other hand, why men's underwear is supposedly funny... I cannot really think of an explanation.

So, when some woman has her underwear exposed her subcosncious mind reminds her about those childhood-seated, fixed ideas about underwear.

"My underwear is exposed -> Everyone will find it funny -> They'll laugh -> It's My underwear, so they'll laugh at ME!"

Of course, when one becomes the source of a crowd's laughter, one feels humiliated.

I nearly overlooked this thread thinking it boring. Anyone reading our stories knows my wife is an exhibitionist, usualy wears no panties with mini skirts, and wears the tiniest bikinis. She will go topless and nude whenever possible.
Still over the years she panics and covers up if someone sees her in a full bra and regular panties.
All I can say is women are weird!:D

The real question is why do they buy fancy, frilly, lacy, flowery underwear and not want anyone to see it?

I agree with Model T
 

I have written in several sites about how my wife would be perfectly comfortable nude at a pool party, but if a friend walked in on her the next day getting dressed, she gets upset. Years ago at wedding she had been fully nude---one of the few girls that went that far---at a pool party the night before the wedding. The next day, getting ready for the service, a couple of guys who had been at the pool party and probably felt her up. caught her in her garter belt, stockings and heels and she freaked out big time. Go figure.

I think it the reaction depends on the context. If you're clothed and around other clothed people and then pantsed then then you're going to feel embarrassed.

My wife says that all pussies basically look alike but there are big differences in boobs. Obviously she at the time felt that her boobs were smaller than most. And, at that time women didn't shave their pussies.

Looksalot

Sorry, but IMHO your wife is wrong - just plain wrong. It is part of the magic of a woman's body that the face, the tits and the pussy are all different and all unique.

I'm afraid even some women can't explain it. My lady for instance.

Last year we spent a week on holiday in Spain. One afternoon we walked out the door of the hotel and went towards the seaside promenade. Two girls (by which I mean in their 20s) were walking towards us. One of them was wearing a sarong down below but up top was clearly wearing a black bra, as opposed to a bikini top.

After we passed them, my lady says "Did you see that? She was wearing her bra!"

"So what?" I said. "How is that different to a bikini top?"

"It's just weird" she said.

We had a brief discussion about it as we strolled on. As I say, she couldn't really explain it, just acknowledge that she definitely obeyed it. The best she could come up with was that it was to do with context.

Her killer line: "Look, I've spent most of the morning over there wearing nothing but a pair of bikini bottoms..." she said, pointing towards the beach, "but I still wouldn't want anyone to see me like that in the hotel bar, would I?!"

I agree it's the sight of something unusual or 'forbidden'. Another thing is the circumstances. If you've ever been around a house on the morning of a wedding you'll find that inhibitions slip a little. It seems when there are a few girls together and a bit of excitement, the men become invisible. As a teenager I remember seeing my busty cousin in her bra as she came out of the bathroom to let someone else in, something she would never do normally.
I experienced similar things at other houses over the years.

My wife will get naked on a boat or a beach at the drop of a hat. And just show her an ice cold mountain pool and, while I'm running fast in the other direction, she'll be up to her neck nekkid. So its a common occurrence which cause much amusement when I see how many folks think it is risqué.

But just let me hang her bra and panties on the washing line to dry and I will catch a mouthful. Can't let the neighbours see her "intimates". They have to be dried on the washstand in the garage out of sight.

It is beyond my ken to try to understand, so I just try to accept.

Related question
 

This is a fascinating thread. I'd like to ask a related question.

I have noticed that often, once a particular person has seen them topless or naked, a woman will often not mind them seeing her topless or naked again, but will still be worried about a new person seeing them topless.

This has happened to me with SIL's and friends, and I have heard my wife make the same comment. "Well he already saw me when we went skinny dipping a few years ago, so I don't mind playing strip poker etc"

I am endlessly curious what goes on in a woman's head when she is deciding whether to get naked or not.

Amen to that! My wife is a total enigma in that respect. I've written about that here numerous times.

But, regarding the original question:

Why do women feel embarrassed being seen in underwear but not just in a bikini?

that could be easily flipped around...........
Why do men get excited seeing women in underwear but not just in a bikini?
I think it's the "forbidden" factor on both counts.

(sorry if this was spoke about earlier in the thread)
.

Or how about, when going out clubbing where you see women wearing hot outfits - short skirts, which easily show panties, etc... and they are constantly tugging them down to now "show anything"...

I'll watch and look... because, you're in a public place and YOU choose to go out with a dress that short... so I'll enjoy the view, thank you very much.

Ironing
 

A couple of posts have reminded me of another time women tend to relax about their underwear, it's when they are ironing something before putting it on , especially if it's just their bra their showing. It's as though it doesn't count - 'well I'm almost dressed, at least will be in a minute'. Maybe they enjoy showing off a little but aren't really because they're 'busy' . There you go, I'm trying to understand what goes on in their head, - fruitless. As others have said, we love 'em but they're complicated sometimes.

I used to work with a younger lady years ago. She was about 23. She was very pretty, and stacked. I bet DD's. She was like the receptionist for the company. So when people would walk into the building, she would be sitting at a desk, and you would be looking down at her. Male or female, you couldn't help but notice her girls. She would wear stuff that showed them off. Not low cut going to a club kinda stuff, it was an office after all. But open button shirts that would let you see some cleavage, or tight sweaters that outlined them really good. I know she had to realize what she was doing. She wasn't dumb, and could see. The funny part is she would b*tch all the time about guys coming into the place and staring at her boobs. I always wondered, if women don't want guys looking, why do they put on skin tight jeans and low cut tops.

Touche to that. I completely agree.

In my case, a rather large part of the joy of seeing a woman in her underwear is exactly the fact that she may feel embarrassed and humiliated if seen by others. Basically, the very essence of EUF.

Without the embarrassed reaction... is still nice and sexy, but not as much.

Going back to teen years I was picking up a girl for a 2nd or 3rd date, her dad shows me into the living room and says she's getting ready, 'have a seat', she'll be out shortly, excuses himself and leaves. I sit down and where I am I can see down a hallway, in a few seconds a light comes on and I see the backside of my date, in panties and bra, going in a room. I can see her clearly through a gap in the door ironing her dress, her underwear are not sexy, but still, undies. Nice show, she never notices I can see.

I don't say anything to her about it until a few dates later when we are getting real friendly, she's topless in my car and I say that I've been dying to see her boobs and tell her about seeing her in her bra before. She got pissed, it took an hour of sweetness to get her top off again.

Film Quote
 

Remember the film '6 Days 7 Nights' with Harrison Ford

Robin Monroe: What are you looking at?
Quinn Harris: Nothing.
Robin Monroe: Something.
Quinn Harris: Nothing.
Robin Monroe: Oh, don't give me that, you were ogling.
Quinn Harris: Ogling? Let me ask you something. When you go into a department store to buy something like that what do you say to the clerk 'give me that outfit so no one will look at me?'


Sums it up nicely I think!

An interesting question. These are all pictures of women in bra and panties that look more like bikinis. It seems to be a question of whether one is made from waterproof material or not.

Again, more like bikinis than undies.

My wife had a white bikini when we were teens, there was a slight hint of bush if it was wet and she stood in direct sunlight, she knew, wore it anyway. However, when my 16 y/o daughter came home with a white tank suit my wife warned her, then she had her put it on and she sprayed the front, after that she only wore it for modeling or sunbathing.

Office pool party...
 

I attended a pool party back in the 1980's and one of the part-time girls attended who brought an exercise outfit, not a swim suit. When it got wet, it disappeared and when one of the ladies mentioned it, she left crying and never returned but she was at work the next week. I felt sad for her--she was cute but clueless. She may have smoked a bit too much of the funny stuff back then.

Women's underwear is meant to be seen. If not... why so many lace, colors, see-thru fabrics and cheeky prints?

All women I know complain about how uncomfortable lace panties are. Yet many of them like to wear those very often... :D

bra panty set
 

My wife used to have a bra, panty set that she wore as a swim suit, it was very stretchy and fit her like a second skin. It was a dark brown color and very non-see-thru. Usually she just wore it at home except for one occasion we went to a party someone was throwing at a local motel. (he was visiting and invited all his friends in the local area) We knew maybe 25 or so of the people but there was also a good number of other motel guests using the pool at the same time. My wife pops out of the room in this little set & I couldn't have been more surprised (and pleased) that she wore it in such a public situation.
You couldn't actually see any thing, but her nipples were evident and you could see that she wasn't completely shaved and there was a constant camel toe. Her breasts were on the verge of spilling out all the time, and when she jumped or dived in the pool the top would slip such that a boob would pop out so she was constantly popping them back in.
I asked her why she wore that particular suit and she said she knew I liked seeing her in it (I did, at home around a few friends) so she decided to wear it for me. She knew it showed a lot, but she didn't care because you couldn't actually see anything. She did admit that at first she knew she was in front of everyone in just a bra and panties but she said even though she was embarrassed, it excited her knowing that few if any realized it wasn't a swim suit.
Needless to say I wasn't the only one who found it was difficult to hide a hard on. Several guys complimented both her and I on the suit.

This thread reminds me of this classic Dave Berg strip from MAD magazine:

Bikini / Underwear
 

My old girlfriend and her friend used to get underwear and put a small string on the side to make them look like bikinis. Great for sunbathing around the pool as they were very brief and their tanlines were small.

One time I remember the friend and I were sitting out by the pool after a swim and her pants were wet. they we completely pussy hugging and see through. I could clearly make out her fully shaved mound and lips. She didn't seem to mind, but would not wear them at the beach.

Couple of examples....
 

I visited a very formal attorneys' offices in the 1980's in Los Angeles. The receptionist was gorgeous. She dropped something behind her desk and bent way over, revealing her average sized breasts all the way to her erect nipples. Caught looking I diverted my eyes. She smiled and said she didn't mind if I looked, she was flattered. She leaned forward and I got another quick look. I thanked her and she said they kept her in a very high paying job meeting very important people and if all it cost her was some glances at her nipples, she was ok. I sat down and waited for my appointment. I had a difficult time not staring at this beautiful girl. When I was leaving, she said she hoped I would be returning soon.....and she whispered with a wink "I don't wear panties either". I never got to return.

My offices are very formal as well and we have clients visit often. In the 1990's we had a professional associate that was very attractive with a great figure. Because of the nature of our work, she never dressed sexy, but away from the offices she wore some attractive, eye-catching outfits. One day, we were expecting a major big client and he was coming to my office to meet my team. We would meet him in a conference room, but this lovely associate came into my office wearing a short sleeved above the knee dress showing some thigh. It was black on top to just below her breasts, and the lower half was white. In the bright sun coming into my office (I sat with my back to the window), I could easily see her black pubic triangle showing through her skirt. I was very obvious. What could I do? This was an important client but I did not want to embarrass this 30 year old professional lady.

I asked her to close the door and I apologized to her but I needed to tell her something embarrassing. I took down a mirror and stood in front of her so the sun was still strong. She looked very quizzical then I told her to please look at her pubic area. She could see it too and she blushed, cowered, put her hands over her hairy triangle, and quickly sat on the loveseat in my office. She looked at me, tears in her eyes, and asked what she could do. I asked if she was wearing a slip and she said no, that she did not have one that would be ok under this dress--they were too long and she thought the dress was lined. I asked if she could borrow something from a friend, keeping in mind our meeting was less than 30 minutes away. She said that would be so embarrassing, and she really did not want to leave my office and show her nakedness to others. She even asked if I had an electric razor, but I didn't.

I had two ideas, one involving white typing paper and the other being toilet paper. I left the office and returned with both, closing the door behind me. I sat in my chair, and she stood in front of me, lifted her skirt and showed me transparent expensive white bikini panties. I was hard as a rock. I laid a piece of paper over her crotch and outlined her pussy. I cut it out and she suggested I make two copies. Once done, I asked if she wanted to slide them under her panties, and she said she would probably tear the paper. After this, she raised her skirt above her waist, pulled her shear pantihose then her panties down to mid-thigh -commenting to me that she doesn't have any secrets from me any more---I gave her the two triangle-like pieces of paper and she held them in front of her sex. I pulled up her panties carefully, with some help from her other hand, and then her pantihose. Looking at her, I thought it still looked dark. I took toilet paper, folded some flat, and slid it down her naked skin and pubic hair (the back of my hand was on her fur) using some to cover her above her pubic hair.

She dropped her dress down and we stared at her in the bright sun and nothing was showing. I stood next to her and she saw my obvious erection, blushed and said "I owe you a big one". That afternoon my imagine went crazy wondering what she meant. I left work early, hoping to catch my wife at home before the kids got home from school. I got her on her hands and knees and pounded her to a huge, memorable cum.

One last thing. A friend works in the building across the street from mine in our large city. On the street one day, he got my attention and asked me to call him the next time I do underwear inspection in my office. He said the sun's reflection kept him from a clear view, but he could see a girl with her skirt lifted up. We just laughed.

Better not to discuss, otherwise they'll cease to be female friends.

SIL
 

Not sure if friends and Sister-in-Law are comparable, but on vacation one year, we shared a hotel. I went through the bedroom to the bathroom, and she was on the bed in bra and panties. I said "Oops." to which she replied "It's just a bra and panties. But we (wife and I) had purchased her a thong bikini for the trip (my wife wears them all the time). She seemed more embarrassed by that bikini and I think only wore it that one time for our benefit.

In a way, the flip side of it
 

In a way, the flip side of it.

Not lately, but a while back, there was a period of time when we were at a beach where topless was the norm but not nude was prohibited, she liked to wear sexy panties instead of her bikini bottoms. Meanwhile she had lots of various styles of regular and Wicked Weasel bottoms to wear.

Some panties were lacy, some were frilly, and all were obviously panties. Personally I thought it was a little "tacky", but I certainly didn't want to spoil the "party"!
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