Amusing naughty everyday things you say or do to your wife
 

Struggled for a thread title for this!

So I’m talking about little (sexual) in-jokes or references you have with your wife. Or amusing little things you say and do to each other. Just in everyday life, outside of when you’re actually having sex. Things that keep you laughing with each other, or that help keep the spark going.

I’ll give some examples of what I’m on about!

My wife Emma has very big and hard nipples, with very prominent bumps on the areolae. If ever she’s wearing a bikini, or a top without a bra on, invariably they’re sticking out like six inch nails! Always amuses me and when I notice it, I theatrically feign an injury to my eye - the gag being that something has poked me. It usually gets me a slap if I’m close enough! :D

Emma is always an earlier riser than me in the mornings. She is always awake and in the shower before me. Sometimes if I’m sleeping in and not making any move towards waking up properly, she’ll come over, pull the duvet back, bend over and wiggle her bare boobs in my face! It never fails to wake me up properly! :D

Occasionally while I’m standing at the sink shaving, she’ll pull my towel off and slap my arse. Or twang my cock or similar.

Emma will often make breakfast just in her dressing gown, nothing underneath. So sometimes I’ll pretend to stumble/trip over and to steady my balance I’ll grab onto the front of her gown and rip it open to reveal her boobs. While apologising for being so clumsy!

Last one is an “in joke” for us. There’s a country lane near where we live that we often drive on. There’s a random little lay-by on it which no one ever really pulls into. Whenever we drive past it, one of us says “There’s Boobs Lay-by”.

The reason for this is that one day a couple of years back we were driving past it (Emma was driving) when she suddenly just pulled in. She stopped the car and I was like “What’s the matter? Why have you stopped?”

She took off her seatbelt, undid her shirt and unclasped her bra. Then said “I just fancied having my boobs played with”. So we sat there for the best part of an hour, with me just sucking and playing with her boobs! Nothing more than that (though we were both mega horny when we got home!) But ever since then, we always comment “Boobs Lay-by” whenever we drive past!

So.....little fun things and in-jokes you have for your own amusement...? Anyone got any...?

(And I’ve just read that back and realised almost everything is centred around Emma’s boobs! :D What can I say?! I’m a boob man!!!!)

Whenever the wife and I are driving home from the city and we go past a certain Love Hotel (that we've been to many years ago and has an BDSM themed room), I'll say, "Want to go to (name of LH)?" She'll always say, "I'm okay." as a way of teasing me because she knows we won't do it. Because the chances of us being seen by somebody either of us work with is too great a risk now.

My wife and I have several things like that. The only one I can think of now is she hates the cold. When she puts her pajamas on in the evening if it is cold she always points to her nipples and says some variation of, "See how cold it is in here!"

She doesn't think about, or talk about sex all the time, but she's not a prude. Every once in a while she says something that shocks me. She always gets a kick out of that.

One off the top of my head
 

Most everyone knows that texting BTW means “By the way”. But my wife knows when I use it with her I mean “Big Titted Wench”. So when we are with friends or family I might say, BTW if you go in the kitchen snag me a beer. No one but us knows I’m calling her a big titted wench.

Boobs in the Face
 

We had a travel trailer with the cabinets directly over my head when I sat at the dining booth. My wife never wears her bra at home or in the RV's. Each morning I would sit down at the booth for breakfast, and she would lean over my head to open the cabinet and get the cereal for our meal. I would slip my hand under her loose T-shirt and fondle her boobs. Then she would ask, "Do you need some good morning kisses?" Of course, I did -- which meant I could raise her top up over her big boobies and tuck it around her neck. Thus, it gave me free access to munch a bunch of her titties and boobies while she was leaned almost topless over me. We always had the shades open adjacent to the dining booth, so any one of the neighbors had a clear view of my early morning munching. My wife never seemed to mind the risk of being seen topless and having her boobs fondled where neighbors could see. If she didn't care, I certainly didn't.

Then one day I was talking to my nearest neighbor. He said, "I bet you really enjoy your morning breakfast!" I questioningly responded that I guess I did. I then asked why he asked. He began to laugh, and said, "I wish my wife would put that on the menu, but hers are not as big as your wife's." I said, "Oh, you must have seen her offering up her boobs for a morning massage at the dining table." He responded that he had and hoped to continue to see my breakfasts. I told him that his visuals be "our little secret." He totally agreed. Eventually, I hated selling that RV, and I couldn't find another one with the cabinets strategically placed directly over my head. Breakfast just is not the same anymore.

sexy
 

I grope her ass daily around the house....


I grope her tits when dressed and ask, just checking to see if they are still there..

Whenever my wife is wearing a skirt, I lift if up to see what panties she is wearing. Other times I reach up and pull her panties off. If she is sitting in a skirt, I position myself to see up it. I am not an upskirt person, but this is all for her.

I also reach up the back of her shirt and unhook her bra when the timing isn't the most appropriate.

I massage her shoulders and reach down the front into her bra, even when people are around us.

When she is very busy working on the couch, I climb on top of her and push her down.

She loves it all. If I don't do these things, she wonders what is wrong.

hip bone
 

Lisa loves it when I rest my hand on her hip bone. We found this out many years ago when I came up behind her at the kitchen sink as she was doing some dishes. I was just going to kiss her neck and just happened to rest my on her hip bone. She just said wow I like that. I asked what and she said where my hand was. She couldn't really explain it but it actually got her hot and wet and it still does today.

Ever since it has been our fun little game because we can do it anywhere and in front of anyone and it just looks like a loving gesture between husband and wife.

Hall sex
 

Decades ago we would occasionally exchange "fuck you" as we passed in the hall.
When the mood was right we'd do it right then and there.
Nice the hall was carpeted.

My wife has fucked a lot of men (and women) and is proud to be a "sl*t" which I love. I love calling her "my sl*tty wife" especially when we are out or hanging out with friends and others hear me do it. She knows I love it and she just smiles and agrees because I know she enjoys it too.