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"Goin' to Kansas City. Kansas City here I come..."
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"They got some crazy little women there and I'm a-gonna get me one." Here are some crazy little women just for you.
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This week's recycled joke...
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1. I have five times your strength, Kirk! 2. Resist, and I'll crush you like I crush this phaser! 3. Surrender the Enterprise to me, or I'll...OOOF! 4. (FART)...oh God...(FAAART) 5. Shouldn't (FART)...have (BUUURP)...eaten (FAAART)...Takei's (RETCH)...lunch...uhhhh!
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1.(Low quality model shot) 2. Titslinga, my daughter...how many times do I have to tell you this? 3. We're rich. We live in a floating city. You don't have to wear the fucking curtains...
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Lessons learned, Dave's big day, DUI tests, aquatic lesbians...
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And other threats to Democracy.
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Fishism In America
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Fishism is a word tossed around a lot in our country these days. Personally, I think fish are OK. I mean, sometimes sharks can be a pain in the ass. One took that poor young surfer girl's arm. Still, it's not like sharks are pulling us into the ocean to attack us. We are intruding on their surf. I mean, if a shark walks into a bad human neighborhood at night, he's probably going to risk getting robbed or shot at or something. Right? So if we go in the ocean, we risk getting torn up by a shark. It only seems fair. So if they stay in the water and we stay on the land, it's all good...don' cha think? We also say, when something appears suspicious that it "seems fishy." What's that about? How is talk like that going to improve human/fish relations? All this rhetoric about fishism being a bad thing just seems like we're being kinda unfair to fishes. So here's a post that raises awareness of fishism and hopefully will improve relations with our fishy friends,or not.
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1. SCAM-CO premium roadside assistance kits. Now equipped with new and improved features. 2. In the event of a break down, just slip into our specially designed emergency panties, and position yourself as shown. Assistance will arrive in moments, guaranteed. 3. Available in classic, and thong style (disclaimer; results may vary depending on age, gender and body type).
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1. Hey, there's no discount designer shoe store up here...why would that guy want us to climb this ladder for no reason? 2. What do you mean the more you drink the better we look? 3. Okay, okay...maybe my bill WAS a little too high.
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Happy Labor Day (GiF)!
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INTERNATIONAL TRACK SITTING COMPETITION
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I LOVE YOU FUNNY FACE is proud to present you the 2022 INTERNATIONAL TRACK SITTING COMPETITION. The sport was the brainchild of German voyeur Hans Onminadich -who discovered that female athletes seem to spend a lot of time sitting on tracks...tracks they should be running, walking very fast or jumping on. Onminadich believed that competition drives us to great heights and yes, terrible lows. It's to the latter that he asked himself why. Why should women just sit there relaxing, waiting for a sports competition to start while men stare between their legs looking for camel toes or pantie lines? Why not make a competition out of the sitting? And just so, a new sport was born. Sure, Ominadich had trouble selling his idea at first...ever...still...but he fought hard to make gullible people believe in his dream. Athletes now gather every four years to Track Sit. The rules of competition are: 1. Attractive athletes in skimpy track and field outfits will sit on Olympic quality tracks. Shoes are optional. Competitors must sit still, no hand use allowed. The goal is to sit pretty for as long as possible. The last woman sitting wins. No one outside of sports voyeurs and serious wankers knows this is a thing. Still, I LOVE YOU FUNNYFACE was the venue awarded with this year's competition, so we're going for it. As there are no tracks on this thread, the athlete's have brought their own. Let's check out the action...
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Special Masturbator?
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Guilty humor.
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