In World War II, every mother that had a son in the military posted a star in her window for each son. Major Klink is stationed in Germany and his wife remained at Fort Bragg. Perhaps taking the concept a little too far, Mrs Klink had a tattoo applied for each lover she took that was above the rank of corporal. Needless to say, the good Major was not amused when he returned on leave!

So let me get this straight, counsel. Your client, Mrs Turnovsky, wants a divorce because after years of swinging she has seen the light. She is going to move to California, have a gay wedding and is going to then move to southern Utah where she is going to form a polygamous lesbian religion, with her three friends: Olga Bolger, Lisa Looslie and Sue Chew?.......Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh you bastard!.... for a second I thought you were serious..........Oh God!.....Let me wipe my eyes. I should have seen it when you came in, knowing what a loon you were in school....Oh, man!....What?....You ARE serious?....This is NOT an April Fool joke?....Really?....Oh.....I guess I thought you had pulled these pictures from One Click Chicks or something....So, Mrs Turnovsky, is this true?...It is ? Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha................

Mrs Hitler's first mistake was in moving from Compton to Idaho. Her next mistake was marrying a Nazi. Her third and final mistake was being found by Mr Hitler (aka Dr Drag) and his posse - Lazy-L, Rubiks Cube, Shawn Puffy Lipschutz and Idy Ot - dancing nude in the living room to the blazing music of her vintage NWA cd collection!

Mrs Liebengood has had to give up on the marriage. It seems her husband - a music producer - has not worked in ten years. Mr Liebengood has finally come to realize that his dream of putting together the ultimate super-group (Donnie Osmond, Germaine Jackson, David Cassidy, Peaches and Herb, Cher, Vanilla Ice and Art Garfunkle) was doomed to failure!

The Moranos apparently were not up on current events. Choosing Pakistan for a vacation, they failed to notice that all the women were clothed head to toe in potato sacks. Thinking nothing of the fact that there were no women at all at the hotel pool, Mrs Morano stripped down to a thong and began to sun herself. Barely averting a death sentence, she is now serving hard labor somewhere in the Sultanate of Swat. Since she will be 90 when she gets out of jail, Mr Morano seeks a divorce. Since he will be 95 when he gets out of jail, I can see no reason to deny it.

Mrs Sacks was addicted to diet pills and cigarettes. Although warned that her therapist, Dr Himmler, engaged in extreme aversion therapy, she chose to remain a patient. Promising to cure her addictions in one session, the Dr fed Mrs Sacks massive doses of LSD, took her up in a small plane, and spent the next hour performing heart stopping dives and blood curdling barrel rolls. Mrs Sacks indeed quit taking drugs. Unfortunately, she also stopped taking food. And liquid. And air. The doctor came to this court and asks "Vat is vorse? Der taking of der drugs or a little force feeding and der iron lung?" Mr Sacks can have an annulment. He also has acquired a new conversation piece after choking Dr Himmler's liver out with his bare hands!

Mr Pelosi was doing quite well after landing the role of Curly-Joe in "I, Stooge." He came home from the first day of shooting to find his new bride naked in bed, and began caressing her and engaging in love talk such as "Whose lips are these?" and "Whose breasts are these?" To each question, Mrs Pelosi would respond, "Yours, my love." This went on for some time until just as Mr Pelosi was reaching his wife's nether parts, a man's voice called out from the closet, "When you get to the umbrella, it's mine!"

Mr Ramirez wanted his wife to engage in 3 and 4 ways. She agreed. Now he's mad because, in his words, "she enjoyed it too much." As Mr Spock once said, "wanting is not the same as having. It's not logical, but it is often true."

The McMack's met at the San Diego shipyard, after having been introduced by the future Mrs McMack's young son. One might have thought that the precocious little tyke's first words ("Hey sailor. Wanna meet my mama. She virgin") would have given Mr McMack a clue. Oddly, it didn't!

Well, Mr Stern, what exactly did you THINK was going to happen when you kept taking your wife to Lesbian Night at the local swing club get-togethers?

Mr Olowinski...

Mr Sanchez (formerly Father Dominic S.J.) left the priesthood to marry a woman he met in South America while on sabbatical studying the mating habits of Rio beach girls. After a whirlwind courtship and speedy relocation to Texas, Mr Sanchez began to become worried about his wife's mating habits! He also began to note that she changed hair color like he changed socks (see photos). The end came when he discovered that his wife was on sabbatical from the Venezuelan secret police, and that she was studying the mating habits of capitalist swingers with an eye toward teaching Hugo Chavez some new techniques to screw his countrymen!

Mrs Scratch first began to feel a sense of foreboding when being carried across the threshold of her new home shortly after the wedding. There, she saw a small plaque on the top of the door which read: "Abandon all hope all ye who enter here!"

After a quarter million views and 304 replies over six months I only get 4 stars? That equals "good." What's up with that?:confused: That's the same star rating of a guy who only put up 16 pics with one reply. (see below););)

I just thought I'd mention it.

Dood... you rule.. don't worry about stars..

Yep, you rule, I have been looking for this one for ages.

hey
 

'


dont worry abt the stars



just see all the thanks and laughs ur post has generated



:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

dont worry about the rating or stars
great topic, good idea and good excution
thanks

não se preocupe com classificação mou estrelas
ótimo tópíco, boa idéia e boa execução
obrigado

You are a giant. I wonder how many people even voted? 8? I can't believe this thread has been viewed 250,000 times and you have only been "thanked" around 10,000 times (for all of your posts).

I appreciate the quality of your posts and your witty preambles. Great reading and great viewing.

BRAVO!!!!!

In an eerie replay of the other cast members of Oliver Stone's much awaited film "I, Stooge," another '"stooge" is asking for a divorce. Cast in the coveted role of Joe, Mr Murtha tells the court he can't be seen with his wife anymore after counting the number of men she has been with during the marriage. The fact that Mr Murtha induced his wife to sleep around seems lost on him. I have only two points to make. First, one can only hope that the future Moe's marriage is rock solid. The second is that upon reviewing the evidence, it is clear that Mrs Murtha should have no trouble attracting a new mate whatsoever. Indeed, it seems that she has already obtained the phone numbers of every bailiff in the courthouse.

The ancient Greeks told of Diogenes, who would carry a lamp in the daytime. When asked why, he would say that he was looking for an honest man. After reviewing the evidence in this matter, I can't escape the image of our plaintiff, Mr Pink, standing in the sun of Athens in 404 B.C., looking forlorn in his toga and sandals, perhaps a cigar drooping from the corner of his mouth, saying: "While you're at it, Mac, why don't you see if you can dig up an honest dame?"

just a thought

whatever happened to the plain old marriage relationship and being loyal and whatever......
all we read is sex out of marriage, adultery, multiple, swinging, bigamy, exhibition, black cocks, n more. dont women want love, care, and a little money anymore ??!!!

Mr Feldman is of course a world famous actor. Starting with a small role in the worst spaghetti western ever made ("Heads, You Die. Tails, I'll Kill You"), Mr Feldman spent a few weeks in Israel one summer making what came to be the progenitor of the hundreds of "chopped liver westerns" made during the 80s and 90s ("A Fistful Of Gelt"). Returning to Israel for two more iconic westerns ("For A Few Tsores More" and "The Goy, The Boy and the Shikseh"), Mr Feldman next went to Levitown, New York, where he resided with his common law wife Xondra Kluck while making world renowned movies such as "One Hung Low," "Low Druchus Drifter" and "Pale Uzi." He then relocated to Los Angeles to to star as the bazooka toting Detective Kalyeh in the acclaimed "Filthy Murray" films ("Ask yourself, do I feel lucky. Well do ya, putz?"). Lately, he has been directing Oscar winning art films ("Million Shekel Bubee"). Having found a young trophy wife, he soon dropped Ms. Kluck. Unfortunately, he forgot that LA is where we invented palimony!

Oh Great! Another pair of immigrants wants a divorce. Let me guess. They don't like it here in Jersey, right? They probably want to move back to Mumbai. When the hell did they change the name from Bombay anyway? I mean, Mumbai sounds like a childhood disease. And while I'm at it, why did they change Peking to Beijing? That sounds like an aardvark sneezing, doesn't it? What is it with these people anyway? Can't they get the names of their cities straight?....Huh?....You say they speak English?....They were born in Hackensack?....Oh....My bad....Actually, come to think of it, if you ever saw a cat throwing up a hairball you know where the name Hackensack comes from!

what is this download limit you are speaking of? Rapidshare sucks ass,

hey bigi
 

./.
whats with the updates

when r they cumming....

So if I understand your testimony, it seems that you introduced your wife to the joys of lesbianism, and now she finds that she prefers women to men 100% of the time. That leaves you in a rather precarious position, doesn't it?

In one of my more unusual cases in recent memory, Mr Byrnes came home one day and surprised his wife with his new beard, which he had had surgically implanted. Oddly, he chose to transplant his pubic hair (see photos). After valiant attempts at continuing the marriage, Mrs Byrnes finally admits that the thought of going near her husband's face gives her the dry heaves. In her words, "I know where that beard has been!"

Counsel do you really expect me to believe that these two have engaged in swinging to the point where they have become so worn out that there is no affection anymore? These two? I mean, c'mon! Look at 'em! These two people? Swinging? You got photos? OK. Hand 'em over....Hmmmm............Hmmmm........Oh my!..........
Can the clerk please get me an Alka Seltzer?

Great thread. The stories are hilarious and the pics have meant my right arm is in a sling and no longer works!!!:D Glad you continued using ZIP files as rapidshare is awful.

Keep up the good work, I´ve decided to kill my left arm as well!!

The Bible says that it is better to live in a cave with an adder than in a palace with a sharp tongued woman. I don't know about that but in the future, Mr Burns, I don't recommend leaving a switchblade lying around the house again if you are going to refer to your next wife as "bubble butt."

This has to be one of my favorite threads great job :)

great collection

No more divorces?:confused:

Husband's attorney: You keep wanting to draw things. Every answer has to be oral. OK?
Wife: OK!
A: So you say your husband was bad in bed. What did he like?
W:Oral.
A: And what did you like?
W:Oral.
A: So what's the problem?
W: Oral.
A: Umm. So how long were you married?
W: Oral.
A: Oh crap. Strike the last 5 minutes will you?

The Kresges liked to make love whenever and wherever the mood struck them. This was fine until one day Mrs Kresge nudged the knob of the gas stove with her knee. This caused a certain portion of her anatomy to - shall we say - fricasee. This was not a good development for the couple's love life!

Ha. If she nudged my knob with her knee, I'd marry her.

Glad to this thread is active again. Your posts are most entertaining. I wonder whether you have handled any lesbian divorces?!?!

Amazing thread! :p

Judge: I'm sure this marriage can be saved. Mrs. Pitz, don't you want to say something?

Wife: OK. Darling, do you remember fifteen years ago when I confessed to an affair with your best friend that you got mad and threw me out in the street like a common prostitute?

Husband: I'm very sorry dear.

Wife: Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to trouble you again!

yes
 

Fantastic thread.