Sex with Ninjas
 

You'd make a funny face too, if you had sex with ninjas!

You can see 594 photos of this woman in four ZIPS starting at post #117 in the Urban Pictionary thread.

I love this thread - so many laughs! Thank you!

Saw the title of this thread and thought of this pic...

CAPTION PICS
 

(Captions read left to right. Top to bottom)

1. OK kids...just so you know...your girlfriend sends you something like this? She's pissed.
2. 99% of Cock cancer has been traced to the actions of one deadly woman. Avoid her at all cost.
3. "OK, sing along with me, kids: Rudolf the red-nosed right breast...had a very shiny nose!"
4. "Uh, uh, uh, mm, mm...Hey, wait a minute...this doesn't make me a lesbian does it?"
5. "OK OK! Polly wants to see my tits...but this is the LAST TIME!"
6. Jodie is about to have "unsafe sex."

:D

CAPTION PICS
 

(Captions read left to right, top to bottom)

1. During a snowstorm in Minneapolis, john received this picture from his ex girlfriend, Sandy- now living in Hawaii.

2. Kim, the telekinetic lesbian, could flip 'em over and pants 'em...all with her mind!

3. The Johnson sisters prepared to walk past the college quarterback's house...which one would get a ride home?

4. "I know you think this is one of those dreams where everyone is naked except you...I've got some bad news. This isn't one of those dreams. Maybe next party you can go a little easy with the keg..."

5. BEFORE THEY SAW THE PHOTOGRAPHER: "OK- I don't see anybody- let's make a dash for it."

6. Valerie loses yet another bet.

7. Why the Packers are so good on the road. The GM puts a willing cheerleader in every hotel room after wins.

8. "I LOVE birthday surprises...OK let me guess...is it flowers?...chocolate?...a pair of warm socks?"

CAPTION PICS
 

(Captions read left to right, top to bottom)

1. Raised by wolves, Jaymie wasn't always the best date to take to the zoo.
2. Cumming in her mouth with such an massive ejaculation, Nate turned Kim's pupils white!
3. Near sighted Natalie prepares to suck off her boyfriend...
4. A little embarrassed, Natalie was directed to the right target.
5. "No honey, those pants don't make you look fat. They make me wanna fuck yer ass!" Blurts drunk Bob.
6. The young couple realizes her parents are home after all...
7. ...and as the headboard pounds against the wall- the kids soon learn that the older folks like to talk dirtier and fuck way rougher than they do.

CAPTION PICS
 

(Captions read left to right, top to bottom)

1. Awwww...I don't care what she did...I'm letting this one out!
2. Two lesbian pals try out the new vibrator known as "The meat grinder"
3. "The Ultimate Tease" about to end her birthday strip show for you -and it took her 20 minutes to take that skirt off!
4. Sheena, the top attraction at Martha's brothel, gives the best hand jobs you'll ever have- guaranteed.
5. She's not the first coed to go to bed with a monkey and wake up with a banana.
6. "Did it just whistle? I swear I heard it whistle!"
7. Intimacy is a lost art with the younger generations...
8. WARNING: If you get so drunk that you pass out- you'll miss the best parts of the party.
9. "Here is ze bearded clam in eet's natural habitat." The Undersea World of Jacques Cooze-stow
10. Cindy's pussy does impressions: Here it does the red headed detective from CSI Miami.

THREE MORE
 

1. She's unwrapping the only gift I want for Christmas

2. This lesbian retelling of the story of The Garden Of Eden would have gone better had the actors not had leaf allergies. (Being itchy makes 'em b*tchy)

3. Why does she love Adidas? Guess where's she's put her shoe!

some of these faces are epic
 

awesome ,keep up with the great finds!

CAPTION PICS
 

(Captions read left to right, top to bottom)

1. The cement has hardened. The cheating husband has been dropped over the edge. Smile, baby smile!
2. "I am the holy lesbian. She who cometh unto me shall cometh multiple times." (Yes, Jude had a messiah complex)
3. At the biker rally, the "Smell A Biker's Fingers" competition was in high gear.
4. A joke so funny it makes tits pop out...that's my personal quest in this thread.
5. "Well, Ruth...the little beach party was just fine until your husband came in my eye!" (Swingers on the beach)
6. Cindy's ploy to get a free tank of gas worked!
7. There's something about blowing up an inflatable penis that makes women laugh...
8. "I'm just a gorgeous woman, aren't I?" (Irene doesn't wait for an answer, she has already convinced herself.)
9. Gerald's thrust were so violent that Hannah had to adjust her glasses... Go Gerald! Go!
10. "Everyone's having fun on this thread but me!"

CAPTION PICS
 

(Captions read left to right, top to bottom)

1. OK...don't even THINK about this sort of thing in this forum! (Read the rules!)
2. It was fun for a while, but pretending they were at a big party/orgy with other people got boring after six hours.
3. How many bites does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Who the Hell cares?
4. "Yeah, sneaky beach photographers pretty much left me alone until I got the implants. Now I'm all over the Net!"
5. The other cowgirls could have the mechanical bulls, Dana was into HORSEPOWER!
6. "OK! OK!...(hee hee!)...get over here with the matches!"
7. "Uh...I've been thinking. Why is water so wet?"
8. "Hold on Dave, I have some pliers in here somewhere...we'll get your fingers out in no time!"
9. "Well, Kimmy...if you land on my property without cash- you gotta pay your rent with your hot little tongue!"
10. "Here it is!" Helpful Dan finds Veronica's micro bikini top.

CAPTION PICS
 

(Captions read left to right .Top to bottom

1. Love is sharing a facial...I know...it's not the kind of facial you guys wanted!
2. "I've got my eyes wide open all the time" -Johnny Cash
3. My God! It's contagious!
4. Lesbian Boot Camp..."Get that tongue out there, sister!"
5. "You're not going anywhere this weekend..."
6. It sorta goes with the other "eye" pictures
7. She was ready to kiss her boyfriend... and then she spotted the weeping cold sore.

CAPTION PICS
 

(Captions read left to right, top to bottom)

1. "I gots to axe you a question... did you cheat on me wit my home girl?"
2. It was at this point that Cindy realized her boyfriend was a vegetable.
3. Joe just won the lottery AND his girlfriend wants a new car- this is going to be HIS day...
4. "Dick, I'd like you to meet Muffy...for god's sake stand up when you are being introduced!"
5. In these tough times women who can't afford a bikini are finding unique ways to show off at the beach
6.. Match makers Hilary and Becky have decided there is only one way to get Dave and Maggie together
7. She's like a Chatty Cathy Doll, pull the string and you'll be amazed at what she says...
8. Jonna always wins at strip poker parties- but somehow her opponents get all the guys.
9. FANTASY GYNECOLOGY CAMP...The best $3000 Frank ever spent in his whole life.
:D

DISTRACTED WOMEN
 

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1. "Oh that reminds me, I forgot mushrooms at the store!"
2. She's watching "Dancing With The Stars." He's out of luck.
3. "Sorry but I'll have to take this call...it's Frank, my amateur gynecologist."

THE REASON BILL FLUNKED OUT OF MED SCHOOL...
 

He didn't know asses from elbows... or hearts...or lungs

baja funny
 

thought id never get a chance to post this gem. hope it doesnt come back to haunt me

I think it's cute. It shows her funny side, never something to underestimate.

YES, IT IS...
 

It shows her funny side, never something to underestimate.[/QUOTE]

...and it's the whole point of this thread. Thanks for the post! :D

FUNNY FACES
 

Good thing we can't see our own faces during sex...(That excludes you folks with video cameras and lots of mirrors) Anyway, here's some blow job faces I found amusing. I hope you like 'em too. :D

Hey Honey, look over here.
 

This is my favorite funny faces pic.

THIS IS THE STORY OF THE LITTLE DICK
 

Once there was a little dick.
On his own he wasn't much- until the day the day he met Anna...

1. Anna looked at the pitiful little dick and thought "Hmmmm there are possibilities here."
2. So she took him into her warm mouth and loved him as only she could do.
3. Her mouth was so warm and wet- and her tongue so talented that the little dick grew and grew...
4. THEN SHE ATE HIM!

The moral of the story is...we'll, there isn't one.

A FEW CHRISTMAS CAPTIONS
 

1. This is the only way Darth Vader's girlfriend can coax an erection out of him.
2. Merriam was tired- but the dick wanted more...
3. ...and when the dick finished with Merriam- it moved on to Cindy. It was a busy dick.
4. This isn't meant to be funny. I just like her body and what she can do with it.

Merry Christmas from Fox Mulder. :D

CAPTION PICS
 

(Captions read left to right. Top to bottom)

1. "Uh...(hee hee)...could you...uh...(hee hee)...call a paramedic?"
2. Yes, artists are very eccentric. Why do you ask?
3. This picture needs no caption- just enjoy it.
4. This is how I want to be awakened every morning of my life.
5. On December 27th 2004- this guy got the best belated Christmas gift ever.
6. The blow job is on hold while the "American Idol" judges announce the winner.
7. You can also blame "American Idol" for ruining this hand job. That show has got to go!
8. This young woman never acts like this...what could be the reason. What's that you say? In her hand?
9. "Now where did I put my drink? It was here somewhere...Oh! Damn!"
10. Chelsea's Spanish is not so good. Whatever she just said to her Mexican guest must have been very good!

POST HOLIDAY CAPTIONS
 

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1. A second later she got it in the face, learning the hard way... (Never look a one eyed trouser snake in the eye.)
2. Jenny watches too many "Happy Days" reruns..."Heeeey! It's the Fonz!"
3. Guys, if you want your girl to swallow- don't eat fast food. It make your semen taste like salty rancid goat milk.
4. Carlos and Nancy were new to the whole S&M thing...very new.
5. A naked girl in the snow...does it give you wood? It worked for somebody!
6. Every paintball players wet dream.

CAPTION PICTURES
 

(They read left to right-top to bottom)

1. The least enthusiastic titty fuck you are likely to see today.
2. If your penis is too large- your girlfriend will give subtle signals to let you know.
3. Just found this pic on the Internet... and now she's making a funny face because she's making a funny face (huh?)
4. Caught sniffing her best friend's panties Marilyn has no choice but to...
5. Finally come out of this closet.
6. Finding her clitoris without the aid of GPS.
7. I'm guessing you can't do this. Please don't try. Really...I'm not kidding... don't.

END OF THE YEAR CAPTIONS
 

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1. Vic the Voyeur thought he'd found the perfect peeping spot in Mary's closet...then he stepped on her sleeping cat
2. Rita's New Year's Eve came down to a relaxing dinner with her best friend.
3. ...then the monster who lived inside the drain began to suck Sheila down.
4. "No no no! stop! Your dog's butt has ruined my big model shoot again! Aaaargh!"
5. This is one for the "Unsuspecting Wives" thread. Guys like this sort of sneaky pic. The models? Not so much.
6. Lesson learned: If you get too close to one of those things, it's liable to go off on ya!
7. See? Julie learned... She's found herself one of them there sperm-less boyfriends.
8. Jacob's ejaculations are so powerful that...well look at her hair! (Swooosh!)
9. It Italy, Claudio's manhood stood up straight like a tower at the thought of sex with Elizabetta
10. Unimpressed, Elizabetta cooly stared it down. Yes, it still resembles a tower... the one in Pisa.

Happy New Year OCC! :D

CAPTION PICS
 

(Captions read left to right-top to bottom)

1. Think about it Missy, once you taste some of that you will just want more and more...
2. No need to call Homeland Security -she's just trying on a Christmas present!
3. Good manners are important while practicing fellatio. Notice the way she holds it? Mom would be proud!
4. You've heard about letting the cat out of the bag? I'd rather see the pussy come out of the panties
5. "Hmmm...when we're finished here I need to get him to repaint that ceiling. "
6. I LIKE the way this young woman does Yoga!
7. The phantom penis returns!
8. She thinks this is her funny new boyfriend's joke..an ejaculation wake up call. When she opens her eyes...
she will be very surprised to find her creepy ex husband has actually kept a key to the house...

9. "See this boys? I can get it all in here!"
10. Becky practices for her marathon in her tiny apartment. The guy downstairs is thrilled.

I THINK I KNOW HOW TO DO THAT...
 

...but it's a bit of work. I might experiment with it if people would like to see it.

CAPTION PICS (SORRY NORTHERN BOY, THE WRITING ON THE PICS DIDN'T WORK...THIS TIME
 

(Captions read left to right- top to bottom)

1. Don't be a victim! When visiting a nude beach, hide your clothes where thieves can't find them.
2. Waiting for her husband Joe to get it up is making Clarice very bored...
3. Joe's mistress has the same problem.
4. Aye...she be a hog eye girl! ...and she enjoys facials...She can sail with me any time.
5. Will YOU pass the blindfold taste test?
6. Yes, facials are funny...especially when the sperm flies out all wiggly like that.
7. Falling asleep with cum in your mouth is dangerous...and when you snore it gets all foamy and bubbly.
8. Poor old guy...he's probably sitting there sad because he hasn't seen a naked woman in years. Turn around!
9. "Arrrrgh ! Grrrr! Rooooar!" (She's auditioning for my Sexual Intensity thread)
10. This pic was rejected for my "Bed Bath and Beyond Thread." Dude...

GOOFY/SEXY
 

There are two distinct sides to this beauty: She's a goofy fun girl- but she's also an intense lover. See both sides below. Laugh at one- wank to the other. :D

CAPTION PICS (AVAILABLE IN BRAILLE FOR BLIND MAMBERS)
 

(Captions read left to right top to bottom)

1. "I'll put it to a vote...how many members think I should suck this thing?"
2. When you have large breasts, you need all kinds of help keeping them packaged properly.
3. Jay thinks he has his girlfriend's permission for a facial!
4. He does!
5. The conga line of your wildest dreams. You are picturing yourself somewhere in the middle -aren't you?
6. High winds on the beach today...
7. A proper lesbian kiss is not a face mashing, giggling inhibited mess...
8. You've got to open up and let that tongue in!
9. "OK...the votes are in....and it looks like...
10. WE ALL WIN!

CAPTION PICS
 

(Captions read left to right, top to bottom)

1. "Do you like denim...? I certainly do...!"
2. Jenny seems to be getting a lot of joy out of her joy stick.
3. No need for a caption here. It's just funny.
4. Give a girl an "Amstel" beer and she'll do anything for you.
5. This one has obviously had a whole case of "Amstel' beer.
6. If your gardener watered your plants like mine does, you'd pay extra money for her services too.
7. Lesbian Matchmakers Inc...has another successful business venture!
8. A new Olympic event: The Wet Neck Lesbian Lift. I'd say a gold medal is in the offing.
9. From the "How Many Women Does It Take To Pee?" Department. Having a "paper girl" is always desirable.
10. Imagine if you were like living in a zombie film, and all the zombies were like cute college girls...this might be the like last thing you'd ever see- and you wouldn't mind, 'cause they'd look so cute before they eat your brain...dude.

CAPTION PICS
 

(Captions read left to right, top to bottom)

1. Caught trying to put on all her panties at once?
2. Nancy doesn't have the largest breasts you'll ever see- but they sure will do in a pinch!
3. "Honey, you will take me shopping this evening -or I'll drown Toto!"
4. "See this ass, boys? It's mine...all mine!" (Katie was a very possessive lover)
5. Let's see...one woman on her knees and the other pulling up her panties...I'd say something smells (and tastes) just a little bit fishy here.
6. John comes too soon again- and Marilyn isn't one bit happy about it.
7. Singing or cumming? If she's riding your cock and this is the face she's making- either way it's a good thing.
8. Is that a Borg implant under her right (your left) eye? Resistance is futile!
9. Krupa is trying to cum- but she's noticing that there are cobwebs on the ceiling that need to be cleaned soon.
10. Forget what the TV says- according to Rachel, Big Jim Slade don't need no male enhancement.

HUMP DAY CAPTION PICS
 

(Captions read left to right -top to bottom)

1. Eyeballs....get it?
2. Eye-balls...you see, his balls are in her eyes...it's a pun...oh fuck it!
3. You and I are looking at the tanned ass and panties. Jake is looking at that tattered skirt and wondering why she never wears the dress he bought her for her birthday last August. Jake is a very small and petty man.
4. If your girlfriend starts acting crazy and drooling she might have hydrophobia... notify the authorities at once!
5. "Oh damn! That reminds me...I forgot the coffee creamer!" (Dee is a terrible shopper but she gives a great BJ)
6. Francine is having a terrible dream that some pervert is taking pictures of her while she sleeps...(Uh oh!)
7. Some women will just say "no" with confidence...
8. ...others shrink in fear...
9. ...but Evelyn absolutely worships the uncircumcised cock. (Take heart, you anteaters!)

BATHROOM FUN
 

(Captions read left to right- top to bottom)

1. Any woman who brings a butt plug to the bath shouldn't be surprised to see a cock show up.
2. There's got to be an easier way for a girl to get some shampoo...
3. "OK, cameras rolling? ...Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Gina. I'm a chemical engineer who has come up with a new toilet paper which causes orgasms. I am about to try an experimental wipe...I am now placing the tissue between my legs thus and..."
4. "...ahhhh! Oh God! Yeeees! it works!" (Orgasmic toilet paper...it beats squeezing the Charmin)

SORRY A FEW OF THESE PHOTOS ARE SMALLER THAN I THOUGHT- STILL FUNNY THOUGH.
 

(Captions read left to right -top to bottom)

1. Women love art. This one? Literally loves art!
2. Another sweet treat from the Nymphomaniac Baking Company.
3. The funny thing was...it was only about an inch long when it was flaccid.
4. The most efficient secretary ever...obviously skilled at multi-tasking.
5. We've seen some awesome wedgies in this thread...but this one actually sends her to the emergency room?
6. You've heard of cock fighting? How about cock wrestling? (You go girl!)
7. Communication is very important in a relationship. :D

WHAT? MORE CAPTION PICS? AGAIN???
 

(Captions read left to right- top to bottom)

1. After sucking a flaccid penis for 30 minutes, Julie is getting frustrated- but Julie is no quitter. Slurp on, Julie!
2. Doing her best imitation of a "Hose Monster."
3. Cum up the nose...the guy is in for a BIG white surprise when she sneezes...a reverse facial perhaps?
4. He came in her face while she was waiting for her nails to dry...Anne's boyfriend was just a little mean sometimes.
5. This is the new thing in Alaska- it's called the Nose Job.
6. "Tight young ass...it's what's for dinner." (Once again, use your best Sam Elliot voice when you say that.)
7. How girls look when you offer them $10,000 for a blow job.
8. Eat too much pussy and your eyes will do that.
9. The sun is going down and the long ride is over...and someone with a red pussy never wants to ride like this again.
10. No caption needed- the faces say it all.

CAPTION PICS
 

(Captions read left to right- top to bottom)

1. Women everywhere are "raising facial awareness" by directing penises back at their lovers just before orgasm...
2. ...they are calling this practice "Reverse Facial Revenge" or, informally: "Let's See How YOU Like It, Buddy!"
3. The new Iron Man XXX movie will be out this summer. Iron Man's penis is shown here in this exclusive photo.
4. 100,000 cans of Reddi Whip were recalled today after a disgruntled worker was found masturbating in the formula.
5. Speaking of masturbation, here's two young students sharing new techniques at Sadie's Self Abuse School.
6. In response to "Reverse Facial Revenge" men are fighting back by making their lovers sleep on the wet spot.
7. Got a friend with a bad attitude? Spray her with 'bird away" and those naughty gestures will disappear!
8. Some men can't find the G-Spot- while other men need help even finding the vagina.
9. "A vibrator hidden in a Chap Stix?" Poor naive Kim not only doesn't believe- she's totally unaware that Anne is using one at this very moment.
10. When Vera was alone she liked to dress up and pretend she was Mata Hari, seducing officers for military secrets.

VALENTINE'S DAY CAPTIONS
 

(Captions read left to right top to bottom)

1. Mary's Valentine's Day blow job was so spectacular that she and Joe began to dissolve.
2. Jane discovered that baked beans was not the wisest choice for her girlfriend's Valentine's Day meal.
3. If your Valentine chokes on her bubblegum, just squeeze her breasts- that ought to dislodge it!
4. Someone forgot to give her lover a Valentine's Day card- so now she has to to write words of love elsewhere.
5. Same problem here- except this absent minded girl writes with lipstick- and uses the other side of the "paper."
6. " The Awakening." It's is an example of why it's no fun to spend Valentine's Day in a dorm with a mean roommate.
7. Love sick girls should not be locked indoors on Valentine's Day- or they'll go nuts.

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