Some actual jokes and funny pictures in the humor thread
 

1. It was a long wait and a hot day at the Goodyear tire shop...Joan decided to air things out a little.
2. While you're house sitting for me, can you please give the plant plenty of water and the plant holder plenty of dicipline?
3. The exhibionist couple died happily together... and they sure found an appropriate alternative to being buried or cremated!
4. She's expensive, but Donna will definitely get your windows squeaky clean!
5. Ronald McDonald has ways to deal with competitors for your dining dollars.
6. Arrrgh...she be a cum eyed gal! And awfully easy on the eyes too Aye aye! ("Pretty eyes, pirate's smile...she'll marry a music man")
7. This may not be an "old world look" but it's definitely a timeless view. ( See sign )
8. Joe has a lot of unique ways to get his wife's attention while she's trying to read.
9. Ever since Mike started rubbing chocolate liqueur on his cock, this has been happening. ( Women need chocolate! )
10. Customers who voiced loud, obnoxious sexist comments in front of Vicki the angry feminist bartender, were always treated to "The House's Special Brew." (Love the tattoos )

Sunday Funnies
 

1. What comes around...
2. ...Goes around.
3. "And another thing...everyone else in this trailer park runs around with all their clothes on! This place is sick! SICK, I tell you!"
4. Bob has been masturbating too much. Now the only way he can get it up is to beat off. Carol is getting damned sick of it!
5. Anyone care for a pretzel?
6. "Any Time Any Place" Alice just got the itch again.
7. Now this is the photo this couple's kids are going to REALLY appreciate finding after they die.
8. Never ask Judy to gather the firewood...she has high hopes...she's got hiiigh hopes...she's got high apple pie in the sky hopes.
9. Alcohol abuse isn't funny. OK...sometimes it is.
10. Ever since Darnell moved into the old house he heard unearthly moans, screams, and strange squishy sounds...he also heard strange clicks and saw flashes of light. Until he finally got brave enough to look outside, he thought it was ghosts...SURPRISE!

Attachment 7424244

Funny face, self shot.

Stuff
 

Messing with an old saying?
1. Don't worry about pointing out the little speck of spinach in your friend's teeth...
2. When you've got a whole mess of the fucking shit in your eyes!
3. If you go around with your mouth always open, someone is bound to fill it with cum.
4. Don't worry about your friend's plank in your hands when you have more cum on your face?

Other stuff
5. "Get in the storm shelter Auntie Em...a titty twister is a'commin'!"
6. Fortunately no one was injured.
7. I suppose the New England Patriot's Tom Brady is going to get blamed for THIS too!

1."Shiiit...how much did I drink? What did I do? WHO did I do it with?":eek:
2.DOG: "Look at her tits and I will rip your testicles off! Judge me by my size, do you? Huh! And well you should not!" :mad:
3. You know you need anti-depressants when you can't even react to your server commmitting suicide over spilled milk. :(
4. "Now Honey...the next time you work with Crazy Glue you should wear an apron. (There are drawbacks to being a nudist) :rolleyes:
5. Rita has a fool proof way of testing her rain gutters. :confused:
6. Nancy has a fool proof way of testing whether she needs to do laundry or not. ;)
7. When Olympic triple jump gold medalist Heath Horndog cums...:p
8. "Wait....are we like...squatting in pee?" :confused:
9. "Hey baby...are you drunk? ..Looksh shlike yer busted!" ( A can't miss pickup line if ever there was one!) :o
10. If any of these jokes offend you, see Natalie in the "I Love You Funny Face " complaint department. :D

Different Strokes For All You Strokers
 

1. She's got stars in her eyes... she must be in love.
2. Some women don't want love. They just want to be hosed.
3. Whatever you do, don't look at all those creepy dolls staring at you....don't do it! Uh oh...there goes that nice erection you had!
4. After the beast fuck pounding she took from all of her brother's buddies last night, she just wants to be sure it's still intact.
5. Ever been beaten soundly with a toilet brush? Painful and humiliating. No caught peeing pic is worth it.
6. Sweden's Winter Olympic Mooning team, training hard in Copenhagen.
7. Her GPS isn't working, but thankfully her panties know the way.
8. This is what ALL women do when men aren't around...isn't it?
9. Exhibit Number One...Facials are degrading.
10. Exhibit Number Two...Facials are glorious. (Diversity is good.)

Saturday Funnies
 

1. I have eaten in Waffle House in my travels. I enjoy their "loaded hash browns...but not once did I ever get THIS kind of service!
2. Ever since she was a child, Julie always found creative ways to descend stairs. The thing is...these days... NO ONE complains.
3. DO I have to say it? OK...looks like her husband has got her over a barrel.
4. Just remember this come Mother's day.
5."Now how did THIS get in here?"
6. A shot for the carpet munchers?
7. It's the only way she can get her cocksucking sister to have a drink with her.
8. So she's either had sex with about eight guys or someone hasn't yet rubbed in the soothing lotion for her sunburn...you make the call.
9. "KERRI! Of course it's cold! You're supposed to hover...not dip!"
10. "Now a'hm jus' a lil' ol' country doctor who makes house calls...but ah thinks yuh be pregnant." (Another brilliant diagnosis)

All In A Day.
 

Things we like.

1."Really,Honey.It's not what it looks like.The bear and I are just good friends."

2.With the auto-pilot engaged.Cindy and her lucky passenger had no trouble joining The Mile High Club.

3.The girls at The Beaver Burger demonstrate how they increased sales 182% on the 11-7 shift.

4.Linda figured on a foolproof way to remind her husband to plow the back pasture.

Sunday Funnies
 

1. This picture proves it! She's the best hair brush fellatrist you're ever likely to find! ( Perhaps the only one?)
2. Prudent advice for all women: When you've got some SERIOUS seduction to do, your pantie choice is absolutely crucial!
3. Bored with shopping for toys for the grandkids, Grannie decided it was time to go fuck the hunky clerk she saw on the way in.
4. Keep wankin' boys...she's pullin' for you!
5. It says in the owner's manuel: "If your pussy is really hot, take steps to cool it. "
6. Judy the nympho's friends accused her of "fucking everybody and everything but the kitchen sink" Well...
7. Dude...only like the best taxi service EVER!
8. Don loved his blue towel. He carried it with him almost everywhere. Talked about it constantly. His girlfriend Kim finally had enough!
9. "What? How the hell did I get in this thread? I was trying to get in Crabbing's kitchen thread...dammit!!!" ( OCC can get confusing)
10. "Ebony and I-vory....fuck together right here at OCC...side by side on the bed...they all scored...oh lord... why can't weee? "
(Song lyrics destroyed for free right here at OCC...as Michael Jackson rolls over in his grave and Paul McCartney consults his legal team)

Start the week laughing
 

1. Being a visual person, once Monica saw the "how to" pictures she quickly became an expert cocksucker.
2. Well...there was SOMEBODY in Sam the Zookeeper's bed. He thought he'd better figure out if it was a male or female.
3. Caution: Objects in the mirror may actually be hornier than they appear.
4. What young men lack in technique, they make up for with enthusiasm?
5. Madame Rachel ran the best "escort" service in the ballet universe.
6. **removed**
7. Young pups with their chew toy.
8. The young white house intern would eventually give the terrorists ALL the president's secrets...that she knew of. (Actually, they got zip)
9. And you thought YOUR Monday was bad!
10. Someone needs to tell Rebecca there are safer ways to retrieve tangled tampon strings.