I find that Mrs Donaldson has a point when she says that she got tired of being confused for her husband's mother.

After the baby, the marriage was idyllic. It was only when Mr Finn was introduced to the baby's new doctor that the skies clouded. The doctor accused the couple of making game of him, considering that the DNA tests unequivocally showed that the father of the child was a full blooded Zulu.

Mrs Kyocera was content with her life as the wife of an up and coming sumo wrestler. Then she met Regina "Bull" Czisnowki.

It became obvious to Mr Adonis that he could not take his wife anywhere after the debacle at the boss' Halloween party.

Mrs Smythe relates that she was too young to understand the marriage vows. In fact, she states, she thought the word faithful meant, " ya know, like some kinda geyser."

Mr Jameson at first thought he had hit the jackpot when he married a famous porn actress. But soon the green monster of jealousy set in. Mrs Jameson would come home from work completely worn out. When he asked her to fulfill her wifely duties, she replied that she would sooner have rectal cancer. But what really bothered Mr Jameson was the studio contract that required his wife to have sex with at least one male and one female at every cast party!

Marrying a vampire never seems a good choice. Mrs Lestat can only say that it seemed like a good idea at the time, especially since Clothilde was part of the arrangement.

Mr Finkbiener could not understand why his fiance's family insisted on calling her by the pet name "Farts." It seemed a cruel joke. However, he was soon disabused of this notion on the plane flight to Maui.

Mrs Harriman was enraptured by the size of her new husband. That is until she looked at her face in the mirror one day and saw the stretch marks.

To be candid, I first felt that Mr Harrison's jealousy of his wife's cat to be bordering on the insane. However, upon viewing the photographs, I find there is some justice in what he says.

Mrs Lewinski was quite proud of her mammary glands, photographing them at every turn. However, after a time, she began talking to them, stroking them, and referring to them as "my precious." She soon would not let Mr Lewinski near them. The end came when she began telling everyone that her glands had special powers that only the chosen could understand and that a band of elves had promised to give their lives in their defense! The annulment based upon insanity is granted.

When Mrs Able told her husband on their honeymoon that she was a sun worshiper, he assumed is was just an expression. However, when they returned to the frozen wastes of their home town, and she began parading nude in the snow while reciting strange incantations, Mr Able came to realize that his wife was, in fact, a sun worshiper.

Every twenty year marriage has its ups and downs. In this matter, we have a wife who carries an odd device with her at all times. Mr Becker says that it has supplanted him in his wife's eyes. After examining the device, I can only describe it as some sort of cross between a ray gun and a joy buzzer. It has evil looking ridges and nightmarishly sharp looking ends. Why any woman would want such an item is beyond me.........Will the court reporter please stop giggling!

Mr Sanders blames himself for the trouble. Taking his 18 year old bride from Grovers Corner, Iowa to Jamaica on their honeymoon, and seeing all the European women were going topless, he suggested Mrs Sanders do the same. After a time, she reluctantly complied. Not long after, Mrs Sanders caught the eye of a vacationing Somali pirate, one Ali ibn al Fakir. As they say in this business, one thing led to another. Mrs Sanders, perhaps taking the Pirates of the Caribbean films too literally, went off with Mr Fakir. Mr Sanders returned to Iowa alone, cherishing the hope that his wife would come to her senses and return to him. The scales fell from his eyes upon seeing his wife, in the company of Mr Fakir, on CNN. Mrs Sanders was standing on the deck of a munitions freighter in the Persian Gulf, carrying an AK-74, demanding six million dollars for the release of the crew. She was wearing a silk bandana and had a parrot on her shoulder. Oh, and she was still topless.

Mrs Kuragin was thrilled to be married to a KGB agent. He was a man of the world and had many plastic devices and knew how to use them. Any person she borrowed money from soon disappeared, but then, so did every man she had ever had sex with. Odd Bulgarian men in trench coats followed her when she went to the opera or the ballet. Men with milk white hair would appear at the door and ask for her husband. Things began to take an evil turn when Mr Kuragin began insisting that she let him hollow out an incisor so he could put cyanide in it.

Sooner or later in every relationship the male asks the female about her prior sexual history. Mr Yossarian made the mistake of waiting until he was married before he asked. Mrs Yossarian made the mistake of thinking that because they were already married she could be truthful.

hilarious! good work dude!

Mr Aaron, I understand your new wife is exquisite and that you were raised in a share and share alike family. We have been taught since childhood that sharing is a good thing. Our entire Judeo-Christian culture exalts the virtues of sharing. But there are limits and offering a night with your wife on ebay crosses the line.

Great Thread!!!!

The introductions are always a nice read..................

Love the thread and very unique. Kudo's...

This was a marriage made in Heaven. The couple, both Republican operatives, had the world on a string. However, one day, Mrs Yablonski's portfolio devalued by 50%. That very day her job was displaced by a faceless phone clone in Bangladesh. Needless to say, she became a manic Democrat overnight. Mr Yablonski, on the other hand, had finally reached his goal of buying out Joe's Sewerage and Septic Sucking Service and after ten years of sucking at sewers he could employ another sucker to suck septic sewers. Needless to say, he saw the Democratic candidate as the Antichrist. The couple was subjected to endless streams of political volunteers arriving at the door at all times of the day and night, hundreds of phone calls from pollsters, and a continuous stream of political radio ads and TV commercials. Each night, FOX reinforced him, and PBS reinforced her. Madness began to set in. The end came when Mr Yablonski told his wife that she was almost as hot as Governor Palin. Alas, yet another mixed marriage down the toilet.

Mr Young was successful in having his wife convert to fundamentalist Mormonism. However, Mrs Young failed to understand that the principal tenet of the splinter religion is that only the males get to have multiple partners.

Mrs Guinn might have gotten away with her adultery had it not been for the lightning that was attracted to her various metal piercings and jewelry. Apparently, Mrs Guinn was making love to the next door neighbor in her children's tree house when an unexpected thunderstorm hit. Still, she might have been able to explain away her and her neighbor's scorched nudity as the police, EMTs, and fire department arrived, had it not been for the fact that the bolt had welded her facial jewelry to her neighbor's clitoral and labial jewelry. This is an object lesson. I'm not sure of what, but an object lesson nonetheless.

Fun thread!

Tuna

This divorce began as a battle of wills. The parties one night embarked in an enthusiastic if somewhat unusual state of marital bliss In the morning, when Mrs Targantos sobered up, she was not so happy with the new deal. Mr Targantos, on the other hand, was quite content to continue their new found relationship.

This is a cautionary tale. We were raised knowing one never runs with scissors. How could we ever know that men would someday adopt hairstyles that would poke out one of the eyes of their wives?

So what part of the prenuptial agreement that stated posting you wife on the net got you an instant divorce did you not understand?

So do I understand your testimony, Mrs White, that you were hacking up a chicken in the kitchen with a cleaver when your husband said something to the effect that he could find a better woman to "slob his knob"...a colorful phrase to be sure...in an Elko cat house?

Mrs Binghamton was at first quite happy with her marriage. Not many can say that they are wed to a television hero. However, the bloom soon came off the rose when Mr Binghamton lost his job acting as Bozo the Clown (without makeup, no less) on Utica's Romper Room. Unable to break out of the Utica market, Mr Binghamton was reduced to working minimum wage, waving at cars outside of Ferdinand's Grill and Adult Pleasure Dome. Try as he might to keep his wife happy at night, Little Bozo, as they used to call it, couldn't fill the bill.

Mrs Fine, let me say that I have pondered this case at length. I have reviewed the photographs and have consulted with the other judges in this circuit. I have also studied the archives of this court, reviewed the Old Testament, looked to the complete archive of the Penthouse letters section, and even researched Gibbon's Fall of the Roman Empire. Everyone agrees that you have set some kind of record. In any event, the bad news is I can't give you alimony. The good news is that you will be the cover story in next month's Family Law Journal, and also in Hustler Magazine.

Great posts and love the editorials
Thanks - love to see those marrieds

Awesome work thanks

great post
 

keep it up

So if I understand the testimony, you are bothered less by the fact that your bride would allow herself to be filmed the day after your wedding fellating your best man, than the fact that she would do it for free?

In this case, Mr Ipsen realized that his wife was past her prime after his submissions to a porn site - Open Clams Casino - were returned with a rejection slip.

Unfortunately, Mr Garcia was unaware that the distinctive tattoo on his new wife's left shoulder had been placed there by the local health district to warn suitors of her propensity to spread the STD that was depicted in the tattoo.

Mrs Jimenez was known for her fiery temper. This became obvious to Mr Jimenez when his bride reacted to his insistent demand that she "smoke his pole" by bringing an acetylene torch and a gallon of accelerant to the marriage bed.

Mr Gibbons was nonplussed by his wife's new hair color, especially when she denied doing anything to it. It wasn't until the next day that he remembered his wife mentioning that she had stopped by the firehouse to see his best friend during the lunch hour so she could watch the new truck get painted.

The marriage was happy until one day Mr Ibbotson discovered that his wife spent her weekdays not as a college coed but in fact as a fraternity mascot.

That this marriage lasted as long as it did is nothing short of remarkable considering the way it started. The evidence shows that on the wedding night Mr Smythe strode naked from the bathroom, holding his manhood and inquired if his new bride knew what THAT was. The blushing bride averted her eyes and stated it was a "wee wee." Mr Smythe, relishing the idea that he would soon be teaching his wife everything she needed to know, announced that from that day on it would be know as a "prick." To this, Mrs Smythe stated: "Oh come now! I've handled many many pricks and I assure you THAT is a wee wee."