The pic of the chick exhaling with the bong is WICKED!!

too bad you cant see her eyes....

girls know how to party :)

Tuesday's boozers
 

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative

2. Preliminary

3. Proliferation

4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity

2. British Constitution

3. Passive-aggressive disorder

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have s*x.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.

__________________

TGIF boozers
 

Rodney Carrington
Titties And Beer lyrics


On the first nite in the tittie club
we were checkin out all the chicks.
There were black ones and white ones,
bruinets and blondes,
look at the size of the red heads tits.
The first gal I tipped was flat as hell
but had a nice ass that was sent from god.
I was horny and even though
I aint rich I was tippin like a son of a b*tch.
You see you been to a tittie bar
with 200 bucks it feels good to be out with my freinds,
in the tittie club you can be a good cheer
cause there aint nuttin better then titties and beer

Monday boozers
 

As we get older, we may doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world.

It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.

Harold Sclumberg, 85, is such a person.

I've often been asked, "What do you do now that you're old and retired?" I tell them, "Well, I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I do that gives me the most satisfaction is turning beer, wine, Scotch, bourbon, and margaritas into urine. I'm pretty damn good at it, too!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Girl's night out
 

Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married....

If this does not make you laugh out loud, you have lost your sense of
humor.

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my
husband that I would be home by midnight , 'I promise!'
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door,
the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9
times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted
solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 Cuckoos
MIDNIGHT !

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him '
MIDNIGHT '... he didn't seem pissed off in the least..

Whew, I got aw ay with that one!
Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.'

When I asked him why? he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three
times, then said 'oh shit..' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat,
cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then
tripped over the coffee table and farted.


__._,_.___

top 9 drinking songs
 

on 9-9-9

1. One Scotch, One Bourbon, One Beer - Amos Milburn
2. Don’t Come Home A Drinkin’(With Lovin’ On Your Mind) – Loretta Lynn
3. Whiskey In the Jar - Traditional
4. Drinkin’ Wine Spo-Dee-O-Dee - Various
5. White Lightnin’- George Jones
6. Don’t Take My Whiskey Away From Me - Wynonie Harris
7. Quiet Whiskey – Wynonie Harris
8. Streams of Whiskey - Pogues
9. There Stands the Glass - Webb Pierce

The dangers of beer:
 

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be
alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman.

Many females use a date-****-drug on the market called *"Beer."*

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in
bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs. *

**Beer** *is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade
their male victims to go home and sleep with them.

A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of *Beer* and then
simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex.


Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several *Beers*, men
will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women to
whom they would never normally be attracted.


After drinking *Beer, **men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly
what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that
'something bad' occurred.** *
**
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their
life's savings,
in a familiar scam known as *'a relationship.' * In extreme cases, the
female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a
longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as *'marriage.'*


Men are much more susceptible to this scam after *Beer* is administered and
sex is offered by the predatory females.


If you fall victim to this *'**Beer**'* scam and the women administering it,
there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your
shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.


For the support group nearest you, just look up *'Golf Courses'** *in the
phone book.

Nice. I'd love to see her, erm, "unwrapped". :D Any chance you have more of her?

Thanks

Fango

Columbus day boozers
 

An Irishman is sitting at a bar in New York City and looks at his watch several times in the space of a few minutes.

The woman sitting nearby notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?'

'No,' he replies, 'I have this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.'

The intrigued woman says, 'A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?'

The Irishman explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'

The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?'

'Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.'

The woman giggles and replies, 'Well, it must be broken because I am wearing panties!'

The Irishman smirks, taps his watch and says, 'Bloody thing's running about an hour fast. Can I buy you a drink?

Alcohol
 

There is nothing like females who had to much alcohol:

you left out.."all songs by George Jones"
 

I've always wanted to see Kieth Richards sing George Jones songs..:D:D:D

booze babes :p

10 Major Health Benefits of Marijuana
 

1. Cancer

There is a lot of unfounded rhetoric that states smoking pot can cause lung cancer because your inhaling smoke, like cigarettes. This simply isn’t true. Cigarette smoke causes cancer because the tobacco is radiated whereas marijuana isn’t. In fact, the American Association for Cancer Research has found the marijuana actually works to slow down tumor growth in the lungs, breasts, and brain considerably.

2. Seizures

Marijuana is a muscle relaxant and has “antispasmodic” qualities which have proven to be a very effective treatment of seizures. There are actually countless cases of people suffering from seizures that have only been able to function better through the use of marijuana.

3. Migraines

Since medicinal marijuana was legalized in California, doctors have reported that they have been able to treat more than 300,000 cases of migraines that conventional medicine couldn’t through marijuana. And that’s NOT just because it’s easy to fake having migraines, right? RIGHT?!

4. Glaucoma

Marijuana’s treatment of glaucoma has been one of the best documented. There isn’t a single valid study that exists that disproves marijuana’s very powerful and popular effects on glaucoma patients. Beat that, DEA!

5. Multiple Sclerosis

Marijuana’s effects on multiple sclerosis patients became better documented when former talk-show host, Montel Williams began to use pot to treat his MS. Marijuana works to stop the neurological effects and muscle spasms that come from the fatal disease.

6. Tourette’s and OCD

Just like marijuana can treat seizures and multiple sclerosis, marijuana’s effects slow down the tics in those suffering from Tourette’s, and the obsessive neurological symptoms in people with OCD.

7. ADD and ADHD

A well documented USC study done about a year ago showed that marijuana is not only a perfect alternative for Ritalin but treats the disorder without any of the negative side effects of the pharmaceutical.

8. IBS and Crohn’s

Marijuana has shown that it can help with symptoms of the chronic diseases as it stops nausea, abdominal pain, and diarrhea.

9. Alzheimer’s

Despite what you may have heard about marijuana’s effects on the brain, the Scripps Institute, in 2006, proved that the THC found in marijuana works to prevent Alzheimer’s by blocking the deposits in the brain that cause the disease.

10. Premenstrual Syndrome

Next time your girlfriend is complaining that you smoke too much weed, hand her a joint. Just like marijuana is used to treat IBS, it can be used to treat the cramps and discomfort that causes your girlfriend to lash out at you. Using marijuana for PMS actually goes all the way back to Queen Victoria. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

The Beer song
 

DOUGH... the stuff...that buys me beer...

RAY..... the guy that sells me beer...

ME...... the guy... who drinks the beer,

FAR..... the distance to my beer

SO...... I think I'll have a beer...

LA...... La la la la la la beer

TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer...

That will bring us back to...(Looks into an empty glass)

D'OH!

great additions as always thanks:D

12 jobs you'll do better while stoned
 

Common knowledge tells us that smoking weed while trying to do anything “productive” is a fool’s errand – the two just don’t mix. And if you’re a lawyer, airline pilot, large crane operator or brain surgeon, that’s probably true. But for many of us, with far less intense jobs, marijuana can actually help you do your job better! Here are the 12 jobs where weed actually acts as a performance-enhancing drug.

1. Zamboni Driver
The Good Sh!t: Unlike driving a car or a truck, driving a Zamboni while stoned is relatively safe. Since you’re already driving slowly, pot’s effect on your reaction time is basically a non-issue. And since all the job entails is driving around in a damn circle, you’re going to need something to take the edge off the repetitive nature.

The Buzz Kill: Besides the fact that operating heavy equipment while intoxicated is probably highly illegal, the only thing we could come up with as a downside to a Zamboni driver smoking weed is a possible to tendency to just want to make figure-8s in the ice. And really, who gives a sh*t about that?

2. Landscaper
The Good Sh!t: Every landscaper or we’ve ever met is a huge pot smoker. Why? Because nothing goes better with mowing grass than smoking grass. The sweet high allows you to really get into your work in a way that’s impossible without a little herbal help.

The Buzz Kill: Get a little too into trimming the hedges, and you’ll end up with a bare branches, and some very pissed-off customers.

3. Video Editor
The Good Sh!t: After hours upon monotonous hours of looking at the same footage thousands of times, after tweaking frames and playing with shot-to-shot relationship, it becomes insanely difficult to see the effects of what’s in the cut versus what you’re seeing in your head. Smoking allows you to cut through with fresh eyes, and see the project in a new and valuable light.

The Buzz Kill: When dealing with massive amounts of footage and the sheer complexity of editing itself, you’ll probably get confused and f**k something up, somewhere. But if all you’re making is another Keyboard Cat video, something tells us you can pull it off.

4. AT&T Customer Service Representative
The Good Sh!t: Since all you have to remember is a simple script, with handy phrases like, “No, you can’t speak to a supervisor,” or “I am the supervisor,” or “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s AT&T policy,” you shouldn’t have much trouble getting away with a smoke-fueled workday. And since everyone who calls you is probably in a murderous rage at the appallingly bad service they’re getting, being high will definitely help take the edge off.

The Buzz Kill: Getting a call from a particularly nasty individual could certainly put a damper on your buzz. But if you get a call from someone who’s also high, you’ll end up on the phone for hours talking about the superiority of Thundercats. (Not good.)

5. Country Club Golf Pro
The Good Sh!t: Spending your days outside, enjoying the weather, riding around in golf carts and helping people improve their back-swing is already an awesomely cushy job. But grab a few drags from your one-hitter, and it will seem like God himself handed you the keys to the best life ever.

The Buzz Kill: At some point, you’re going to run into some rich punkass that sucks at golfing, and you’ll be forced to actually engage in a conversation that could seriously screw-up your groove.

6. Musician / Sound Engineer
The Good Sh!t: Like most things, music is always better while high. You can feel it more, man. Just listen to that bass line!

So whether you’re writing it, playing it or mixing it, any job that centralizes around listening to music is going to be done better if you’re high. In fact, the higher your are, the better.

The Buzz Kill: I can’t really think of any direct negatives to smoking weed on this job. Although, I suppose you could add too much cowbell…

7. Sports Mascot
The Good Sh!t: What’s more fun to do while high than run around and act like a goofball in front of tens of thousands of people? Especially since you’re completely anonymous, and there’s nothing about the job that requires you to interact with anyone like a normal human being. (Not to mention the killer hot box you’d have in that giant head.)

The Buzz Kill: All the jumping around would be seriously difficult if you’ve smoked yourself lazy, so you might have to add a small bump of coke in there to even things out. Ok, maybe just a 5-hour Energy…

8. Pot Dealer
The Good Sh!t: This one’s simple and obvious: To be a good pot dealer, you have to know your product. And the only way to know your product is to smoke it, constantly. That way you can let your customers know which strain to get for the kind of high they’re looking for. Plus, you became a pot dealer for a reason. And it probably has something to do with being able to smoke weed all day. Just a hunch…

The Buzz Kill: Unless your customers come to you, there’s a good chance you’re going to be late to deliver the goods anytime someone calls you up for a few grams, which is annoying (but mainly for the customer). And when you do get there, you probably forgot to bring the right bag, which then adds a few more hours to the entire transaction.

9. Writer / Artist
The Good Sh!t: Damn near everyone with a creative job smokes a massive amount of weed. That’s because marijuana opens up your creative mind in ways that sober thinking never can. Suddenly, your jokes are funnier, your prose more engaging, your photos framed better and your paintings more colorful, rich and deep.

The Buzz Kill: While it’s true that smoking can definitely help bring your creative endeavors to life, it can also make you think something’s a great idea, when in reality, it’s almost as brilliant as a Glenn Beck monologue.

10. Chef
The Good Sh!t: Not only does smoking weed make you hungry, it makes even sh!tty food taste amazingly delicious. So when someone with the skills and palate required to be a good chef starts cooking up concoctions after a healthy pull on their bong, everything is going to come out amazing. Add to that the boost in creativity, and you’ll be whipping up the best veal parmigiana on the face of the Earth.

The Buzz Kill: Smoke too much, and you’ll never remember to take that cake out of the oven in time. Fail that, and you’ll not be a chef for very long…

11. Video Game Tester
The Good Sh!t: On the list of awesome things to do while stoned, right next to listening to music, is playing video games. So mashing buttons for a living and smoking weed go hand-in-hand. Plus, since most of the people playing the game you’re testing are going to play it with a joint in their mouths, it’s really the only responsible course of action.

The Buzz Kill: Turns out, being a video game tester is actually really hard and tedious, with lots of reports to file to the company about glitches, bugs, what works, what doesn’t. And if there’s one thing that doesn’t go well with smoking weed, it’s reports to your boss. Fortunately, since you boss works at a video game company, he’s probably pulling one down right along with you.

12. Any Job
The Good Sh!t: OK, so maybe pot won’t make you better at “any” job, but it will sure as hell make it a lot more interesting, no matter what your position.

The Buzz Kill: This does not apply to any job that involves children’s safety, flying an airplane or actually giving a
sh!t. (Joke, it’s a joke…)

Tuesday boozers
 

98% OF AMERICAN’S SAY 'OH SHIT' BEFORE

GOING IN THE DITCH ON A SLIPPERY ROAD.


THE OTHER 2% ARE FROM New Hampshire

AND THEY SAY, 'HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS

great updates thanks:D

Just one...
 

of two gals passed out.

One more...
 

which I missed

Too drunk to care...
 

that everyone can see her nipples

Hippy chick
 

smokin some weed in a pineapple bong.

10 hangover myths
 

Almost everyone you know seems to have a sure fire theory about how to have a big night out and still avoid the dreaded hangover. Some just don’t add up while others can leave you feeling even worse. Here are 10 hangover myths debunked and some facts which will leave you feeling a little better the morning after!

Myth 1: Aspirin or ibuprofen while you drink can allay the headache

•FACT: Aspirin while you drink or after a hangover is a strict no-no. Asprin increases acid secretion in the stomach and does nothing to help eliminate alcohol from the body. On the contrary, aspirin was found to increase blood alcohol levels by 26% when taken before drinking. This was found in a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA).

•Ibuprofen while you are drinking is also not advised as it may increase the risk of side effects, such as bleeding in your stomach or intestines when combined with large amounts of alcohol.

•TIP: Ibuprofen the next day - about an hour before you need to be functional - will help.

Myth 2: Wine does not give a hangover, vodka does

•FACT: No, in fact, red wine can leave you with more of a hangover than vodka. It’s all got to do with something known as ‘congeners’ that are present in the alcohol. Congeners are toxic substances in the alcohol, and when you drink, these toxins are dispersed through your system. The level of congeners varies between different beverages. More expensive alcohol contains fewer congeners, as it undergoes a more rigorous distillation process and filters out a higher percentage.

•Dark colored drinks, such as brandy, whiskey and red wine, have more congeners than clear drinks such as gin, vodka, and white wine. So red wine can actually leave you with a hangover that is as bad as, or possibly worse than, a hangover from vodka.

•The British Medical Journal did tests that showed drinking bourbon whiskey is twice as likely to cause a hangover than the same amount of vodka.

•TIP: Stick to wine, beer or clear alchohol drinks in moderation

Myth 3: Beer before liquor - never sicker

•FACT: There’s nothing about the chemistry of these drinks interacting with each other that makes you sick the next day. What tends to happen is that once you start drinking beer your reluctance to drink more disappears and when you move onto the ‘harder’ stuff you are likely to drink faster.

•TIP: Sticking to beer means that you don’t get drunk as quickly due to the lower alcohol content. But ultimately, it's the amount you drink and your pace that will determine how you feel, not the order in which you do it.

Myth 4: Not to worry ladies, a hangover won’t hit you that hard

•FACT: With an equal quantity of drinks, alcohol is likely to leave a woman twice as tipsy as her male partner. The constitution of a woman's body, typically lower body weight with lesser water content and more fat, makes her more susceptible to getting drunk than a man.

•Besides increased alcohol absorption, men have higher levels of the enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase, which allows guys to metabolize alcohol better.

•TIP: Ladies - know your limits - there's no need to keep up with your male counterparts.

Myth 5: Drinking helps get over stress and helps you sleep.

•FACT: If you are drinking to relieve stress or get sleep, think again. If the amount of alcohol in your blood is high, the brain is unable to enter the REM (Rapid Eye Movement) stage of sleep, which is the relaxed state. Ultimately, you sleep all night and often all day to beat your headache, albeit without giving your mind and body the rest you really wanted.

•TIP: Rather than drinking to relieve stress try excercise or techniques like yoga and meditation. See the section on insomnia for more advice.

MYTH 6: I can sober up quickly if I need to

•FACT: If you think that taking a shower and drinking 5 cups of coffee will help you sober up - think again. The only thing your body needs is time — depending on your weight, it takes about three hours to eliminate every two drink you've had that night. All these techniques are likely to do is create a cold and alert drunk, the experts say.

•TIP: If you are set for a big night try and make sure there's nothing that can arise that will need clear thinking, either during the night or the following day.

Myth 7: Drink lots of water the morning after

•FACT: While it’s certinly true that drinking water the next day will help, it’s more important to drink water while you are drinking and before your hangover sets in. Alcohol dehydrates your body by being flushed out along with water in the form of urine. This water has to be replenished. If you don't drink water while drinking alcohol, your body will use the water needed by other vital organs, including the brain. This is one reason why you experience headaches.

•TIP: Try to match a glass of water for every couple of alcoholic drinks.

Myth 8: Eat before you go to sleep

•FACT: Well, actually, it’s better you eat before you drink rather than before going to sleep. After a meal the food in your stomach slows the absorption of alcohol in the bloodstream. And strangely, fried foods go well with drinking because fatty foods stay for a longer time on the stomach lining. If you are busy digesting a steak your body has time to process the alchohol and byproducts, thereby helping to prevent a hangover. So drink slowly and on a full stomach.

•TIP: Make sure you have a good meal prior to your night out.

Myth 9: Eat light after an hangover

•FACT: More than eating light, it’s important to eat the right foods that will rehydrate and energize you. Some examples are eggs, fruit juices and bananas. Apart from proteins, eggs contain large amounts of cysteine, the substance that breaks down the hangover-causing toxin acetaldehyde. Therefore, eggs can help cleanse your body off alcohol. It’s also a good idea to eat bananas in the morning after a night of heavy drinking – they not only provide lost electrolytes, but, more importantly, replenish the potassium lost because of alcohol's diuretic (producing urine) properties. Other potassium rich foods or sports drinks are also good alternatives.

•TIP: Make sure you have the ingredients for a healthy breakfast the morning after. Boiled eggs, a banana and fruit juice are a great option.

Myth 10: Hair of the dog

•FACT: Don't believe the folklore remedy that drinking more alcohol will cure your hangover. All the ‘hair of the dog’ will do is delay your hangover into later on in the day. More alcoholic drinks will only boost the existing toxicity of the alcohol already in your body, and according to research, may lead to further drinking.

•TIP: Just don't do it! The best morning after drink would be a Gatorade to replace lost electrolytes and water.

So get out there and have some fun, but remember to eat well, drink lots of water and avoid those painkillers while you are drinking.

A female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving.

She tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be held against you."

The drunk says…

"Tits."

just 1...

Merry Christmas
 

To all the boozer babes

17 Steps To Cook A Turkey

Go buy a turkey
Take a drink of whisky

Put turkey in the oven
Take another 2 drinks of whisky

Set the degree at 375 ovens
Take 3 more whiskeys of drink

Turk the bastey
Whisky another bottle of get
Ponder the meat thermometer
Glass yourself a pour of whisky

Bake the whisky for 4 hours
Take the oven out of the turkey
Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Turk the carvey
Get yourself another scottle of botch
Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey

Bless the dinner and pass out

Babes + Booze = :D

beating the flu
 

Eat right!


Make sure you get your daily dose of


fruits and veggies.


Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.


Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system.


Walk for at least an hour a day,


go for a swim,


take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.


Wash your hands often.


If you can't wash them, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.


Get lots of fresh air. Open doors & windows whenever possible.


Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.


Get plenty of rest.


OR


Take the doctor's approach.


Think about it...


When you go for a shot, what do they do first?


They Clean your arm with alcohol...


Why?


Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.


So.......


I walk to the liquor store. (exercise)


I put lime in my Corona...(fruit)


Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)


Drink outdoors on the bar patio..(fresh air)


Tell jokes, laugh....(eliminate stress)


Then pass out. (rest)


The way I see it...


If you keep your alcohol levels up,


flu germs can't get you!


My grandmother always said, "A shot in the glass is better than one in the ass!"


Live Well - Laugh Often - Love Much

MLK day
 

sexy bong babes

Dope
 

Found some with a doped Girl

AFew
 

AFew drinkers

Please
 

Any more from this set??

https://forum.oneclickchicks.com/atta...5&d=1261769681

They look strangely familiar....

i found a few

found a nice set

WHOA. That girl a serious problem. Those pics are the definition of a blackout.

"The Night We Drink That Dixie Down!"
 

Sung to the tune of "The Night They Drove Ole Dixie Down"

this version by Nick LIck and the Hickies.

The Super Bowl is a game,
We never thought they'd never get to play,
And after the hurricane,
We all thought they'd move away,

Now the Saints, they've gone on a roll,
And they're hungry for the Super Bowl,
And if they win, It'll be snowing in hell,
And the night we'll remember Oh so well,


It'll be the night we drink that Dixie down,
As the Saints are winning,
The night we'll drink that Dixie down,
And all the fans will be singing,

we'll go Na, Na, na na na, na na na, na na na na...........


Listen to complete song here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4151TrYYQ8

the rest of the chick with the alcohol problem

even more

i never seen tits or pussys in bars when i was drinking