A newlywed couple arrived back from honeymoon to move into their tiny new flat.


"Care to go to bed?" the husband asked.


"Shh!" said his blushing bride. "These walls are paper thin. The neighbors will know what you mean! Next time, ask me in code - like, 'Have you left the washing machine door open' - instead."


So, the following night, the husband asks: "I don't suppose you left the washing machine door open, darling?"


"No," she snapped back, "I definitely shut it." Then she rolled over and fell asleep.


The next morning, she woke up feeling a little frisky herself, so she nudged her husband and said: "I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all..."


"Don't worry," said the man. "It was only a small load so I did it by hand."

NY Times ad posting
 

THE POSTED LISTING

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.

I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.


Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a businessman who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock.


250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right?

How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why! Are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain Jane boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. Just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY


Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way.

Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.


It's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.

Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.


Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal.

Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money.

Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!


So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset.

Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you! So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold , hence the rub, marriage.


It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following.


If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.


Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets.

So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.


By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.


With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way but in trading terms this is a classic "pump and dump."

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

NY Times ad posting photos from osreb
 

These are some great shots and she is really hot. It's just too bad these weren't available at a higher resolution! Any more where this came from?

sl*t bride CarolineH
 

Enjoy.

Also please check out this post and help me find more of the girl there. Thanks.

https://forum.oneclickchicks.com/showthread.php?t=77432

Flag Day Brides
 

Purchasing vs. Leasing Purchasing

The maths on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce is as follows:

After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million.

Assuming he got sex every night during their 5 year relationship

it ended up costing him $26,849.00 per time.


Leasing


On the other hand, New York Governor Elliot Spitzer's hooker,

Kristen, an absolute stunner with a body like no other,

charges $4,000.00 an hour. For anything!

Had Paul McCartney "employed" Kristen for 5 years,
he would have paid $7.3 million for an hour of sex every
night for 5 years (a $41.7 million savings).

Value-added benefits are: a 22 year old hot babe with two legs, no begging, no coaxing, never a headache, plays all requests, no b*tching and complaining or 'honey-do' lists. Best of all, she leaves when you're done, and comes back when asked. All at 1/7th the cost, and no legal fees.

Sometimes leasing just makes more sense.

Newsweek article on the recent spate of sexy brides: http://www.newsweek.com/id/200495?gt1=43002

Photo gallery with article: http://www.newsweek.com/id/200177

Top 10 Sexiest Wedding Dresses: http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-look/e...9593&gt1=32002

Enjoy

Fango

couple more

Here's a good book cover. I'm pretty sure an uncensored version has been posted before. Or there was a pic very similar to it. Can anyone find it? The back cover just says "Photo courtesy of the author"... whatever that means.

Enjoy

Fango

Father's day brides
 

Our instructor was lecturing about self-examination of the breast or
Testicles when a female student asked another male student and me if we ever
got an erection while we did self-examination of our testicles. We answered
that it was possible that we had. You know, you don't really want everyone
to know when you get aroused.

She then asked, "What do you do about it?"

We said in unison, "Nothing, why?"

She then say, "You mean you go around with a hard penis all day?"

We said no way!

She then states, "You mean a man's penis will go down without having an Orgasm?"

We both said yes.

At which time she says, "I'm going to kill my husband!"

more June brides
 

"We'd like a room, please," the bloke said, nodding toward his misses. "We were married this morning."
"Congratulations," the desk clerk said, "how about the bridal?"
“No thanks, just a room. I'll hold her by the ears until she gets the hang of it."