I don't usually have sex while I am wearing make up, but I have had sex after a fight

And it was very good, which is why I told a little lie to block soggy bottom boy from getting his opportunity to get just that.

The conversation went something like this
"Dad, I can't find my cell phone anywhere. If Tickle Dick calls, please tell me."
"Well, if you insist."
"and be nice this time."

ring ...ring...
Not my phone, not the home phone, Ah the girl cubs phone.
"Hello"
"Hello, I was trying to reach girl cub."
"who is calling please."
"tickle dicks mother."
"ah, a fine daughter you raised there, we are rather fond of her."
"excuse me?"

"There is no excuse for raising a girl like that, was her father a eunuch? You really should have used a glass turkey baster instead of plastic, I think it leached chemicals."
"First of all quit referring to my son as a girl, and secondly I called for him to tell your daughter he was sorry and wanted her to come back. He's a wreck."

"Buy more collision insurance. You mean to tell me he does not even have the guts to call her himself?"
"He's afraid of what she might say. And he told me what you said. If he comes over there and anything happens.."
"If he come all the way here and he is a trespasser, I will consider him a threat to my families safety. Don't you threaten me lady, your the one who raised a worthless wimp. What does his father think of all of this?""

"I raised Tickle myself, his father left us when he was young."
"Was it after he got his fortune read by a Gypsy?"
"You are a bastard."
"No, my parents were married."
"You are the meanest man I have ever spoke to."
"Thanks..I consider that high praise indeed."

"You know, I liked the girl cub, but with a family like yours I don't think you would be good for my little tickle."
"First of all, your little tickle is 22 years old and should act like a man, second of all, you are right, my family would not be good for your "Little tickle".. If any of my sons found out, it would take the whole Army to keep him alive. Why don't you have little tickle write his feeling down on paper. He can wad it up and shove it up his ass, or his vagina, whichever he can reach first."
Click
"Hello..."
"Hello.."

"Hey Dad, did Tickle call?"
"I haven't talked to him. What the hell did you see in him anyway?" ( Not reeely a lie)
"I don't know, he was such a Momma's boy, I guess I wanted to help him, but now I need to take care of myself."
"So you're done with him?"
"Dad I could never trust him again. I'm done."
"That's my girl."

Ring Ring
My Phone
"Hey Dad, just got into town. I'll be over in about ten minuets. Tell Mom not to freak, sorry I ddn't call you earlier, but I got my Purple Heart. It was only a flesh wound."
"Boy cub, you got wounded and did not tell us."
"Didn't want you to worry. Hows Older boy cub and girl cub?"
"I'll tell you when you get here, girl cub is here too."