Back In '15
 

Everyday events that don't happen every day.

1."There is no fucking way you are sticking that in me!"

2.Eddie now realized he'd have to be more truthful to his GF about the true definition of 'a swinger.'

3.Hearing her BF and his wife arguing in the next room.Linda makes good her escape.

4.After watching her for several minutes.Pete admitted to himself that his new GF was a real airhead.

People...They're the worst!
 

1. You can lead this blond to water, but you can't make her drink... like a dog....
2. Unless you promise her she'll appear in "I love You Funny Face" (She must be a publicity hound) woof!
3. "Fuck you, Brian!" ( She's not cooking tonight.)
4. "Fuck you, Brian!" ( She doesn't want to go to McDonald's either)
5. "Fuck her, Brian!" ( After Brian takes her to the best place to eat in town and shoe shopping after. Brian has this marriage thing down)
6. "I have chosen...wisely!" Giggle giggle... (Kim just saw "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" after eating mushrooms.)
7. Mindy is practicing for a spot on "America's Got Talent." Is it not "talent" to stand on one's head and fart the national anthem?
8. Dan really shouldn't take his shoes off in the house.
9. "Hi Mom and Dad. Good to see you! We're are just finishing up here and will be with you in a minute. Sit down. Relax!" (This isn't quite what "open marriage" used to mean)
10. "You can just take a time out in the corner, missy!" ( A scene from the new movie: "50 Shades of Preschool" )

One fine day in the middle of the afternoon
 

More and More

1. Becky reluctantly had to explain to her BF that she had crabs.

2."I suppose now you want me to play with your bagpipes too."

3.Annie loved the idea of being with The Bluegirls musical group. But wasn't overly fond of the costume they'd picked out for her.

4."Seriously,Officer. I thought strip searches were only done at the station."

Klingons on Uranus
 

1. You make the call: Is Captain Kirk finally getting head from an original 1960s Klingon, or is this just an unfortunate makeup job?
2. " Uh, hi Honey...you're home early I see... So, uh...what's going on here is...this pizza delivery guy and I were playing Twister when an ACTUAL twister blew through the house...yes, right through the house! It tore all of our clothes off. So...this isn't how it looks...really."
3. Behind every beautiful woman there is... some dude with a hard on.
4. "You had your fun and here's your souvenir panties...now get out of here and let me wash my shame away."
5. "Coming to this manicure and cunnilingus spa was a good idea, Julie. Tomorrow I'll treat for lunch."
6. How to sign "Come fuck me" to your hearing impaired lover.
7. Just seconds after hearing the key turn in the lock she remembered that this wasn't her husband's bowling night after all.
8. Some couples just belong together...perhaps not in civilized society...but together.
9. How to tell your boyfriend is an alien...The date stamp on your nude photos imply a whole lot of missing time episodes.:eek:
10."Helloooooooo kitty!"

Funny faces

Post-Valentine's Day Stress Syndrome
 

1. Without Patrick Swayze sitting behind her, it just isn't the same. On the other hand...how do we know he isn't there?
2. How to tell your Girlfriend is an alien: Colorful antennae is a dead give away.
3. The plumbers daughter?
4. When you buy beef jerkey at Swig Central, you get something nice to do your jerking to.
5. She didn't get roses or chocolates from you yesterday, so this is what you get.
6. She's surprising him with a new motorcycle. He doesn't know he's about to find the keys.
(It's a female variation of the old hide the engagement ring in the candy trick)
7. Awwww...she's making sure her widdle dwunk fwiend stays hydrated! What a pal!
8. What are the odds she's thinking about ME right now? The odds are THAT LOW huh?
9. Alien women hide a third hand in their armpits... just so they can feel themselves up at drive in movies.
10. Cat: "Damn...I thought someone opened a can of tuna!"

Bad Hair Day
 

The first woman is doing the cute Hair Moustache trick. The second woman tries the same...but apparently she has BAD hair. Has anyone got scissors? :eek:

a handful

One chilly Ash Wednesday
 

As is.

1.Having exhausted all her local dating services.Vicky decides more drastic action is needed to meet new men.

2.Tony was quite amazed.He'd heard about The Wild Girl of the Backwoods.But this was the first proof of her existence.

3.Finally realizing just how dense her boyfriend was.Linda literately had to show him what she wanted him to do.

4.Even Rene was suspect about her Doctor's approach to clearing her sinus blockage.

More of the same but different
 

Left to Right You know the drill.

1."No,mam. the orgy is next door.This is the Fineman Anniversary party.Your the 3rd person to ask that."

2."No,sir. You can't buy our bicycle seats after the race."

3."Hi,Honey.Sorry to interrupt your day out with your girlfriends.When your finished,I'd like you to meet my lawyer. He will be handling our pending divorce."

4."Hi,Bill.Haven't seen you since our messy divorce.Did I mention I'm fucking your new boss? We get along just fine......Yes I KNOW she is female."