The Bible says that it is better to live in a cave with an adder than in a palace with a sharp tongued woman. I don't know about that but in the future, Mr Burns, I don't recommend leaving a switchblade lying around the house again if you are going to refer to your next wife as "bubble butt."

This has to be one of my favorite threads great job :)

great collection

No more divorces?:confused:

Husband's attorney: You keep wanting to draw things. Every answer has to be oral. OK?
Wife: OK!
A: So you say your husband was bad in bed. What did he like?
W:Oral.
A: And what did you like?
W:Oral.
A: So what's the problem?
W: Oral.
A: Umm. So how long were you married?
W: Oral.
A: Oh crap. Strike the last 5 minutes will you?

The Kresges liked to make love whenever and wherever the mood struck them. This was fine until one day Mrs Kresge nudged the knob of the gas stove with her knee. This caused a certain portion of her anatomy to - shall we say - fricasee. This was not a good development for the couple's love life!

Ha. If she nudged my knob with her knee, I'd marry her.

Glad to this thread is active again. Your posts are most entertaining. I wonder whether you have handled any lesbian divorces?!?!

Amazing thread! :p

Judge: I'm sure this marriage can be saved. Mrs. Pitz, don't you want to say something?

Wife: OK. Darling, do you remember fifteen years ago when I confessed to an affair with your best friend that you got mad and threw me out in the street like a common prostitute?

Husband: I'm very sorry dear.

Wife: Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to trouble you again!

yes
 

Fantastic thread.