So I have a song for my Genius friend, it goes like this

I had a genius friend,
I punched him in the nose,
the only part that isn't bruised
are the top of his toes

the verses were bad
singing so sad
I just wish that I could die.

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can
Get a haircut?
*The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said,
'About 2 hours.' The guy left.
*A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, How
Long before I can get a haircut?'
The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About 3 hours.' The guy
Left.
A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How long
Before I can get a haircut?
The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half'.
The guy left.
The barber turned to his friend and said, 'Hey, Bob, do me a favor. Follow
That guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for
A haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back.'

A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, 'So, where does that guy go when he leaves?'

Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said,

'Your House'

I walk with my baby and I know in nothin' flat
She's got something mellow lots of fellows whistle at
When we go for a walk, I know soon as we're out
With no shadow of doubt,
She's got lots to be proud of...

And I'm hip I'm lucky to have a woman that well endowed
A girl half that lovely could make plenty of fellows proud
I'm crazy about all of her charms, but one in particular is a ball
I love those shiny stockings best of all

Every man will eyeball whatever he can
But one thing all men dig is a real shapely leg
Oh really, oh really, oh really, oh really, oh really, oh really, oh really,
Oh yeah, what do they think of that
Where to they think we're at?
A woman has got to pretty up and tend to business
Make sure she's catchin' an eye!

Damn!
 

Thank you Sir for producing one of the best threads on this site...! SIMPLY SUPERB!:)

Thank you very much

The fellows all get to diggin' but they
Never know what they're diggin' about
A woman has really got to wail at always lookin' her very best
She must be up to par without fail
Otherwise, her old man's eyes will start to wonder
And is it any wonder?

Men go for prettines, this I must confess
Dig a pretty face, dig a pretty dress
But they like a pretty leg best

And that's the reason those stockings shine...
'Cause they appeal to these eyes of mine
I love it when she says "I'm gonna stick around and love you babe"
I'm certain if I can keep her home from roamin'
She'll remain and I'll be wonderin'
Why a wmon that's lookin' as good as her is by my side

She's fine, yes she's fine
And she's all mine
What an incredibly lucky specimin am I!
I'm crazy 'bout every single one of her charms
But one in particular is a ball
I love those shiny stockings best of all
Oh I love those shiny stockings really I do
Yes I do, I truly do

Is it you again outside,
Just banging on the front door?
You say you had enough,
Now you’re coming’ back for more,
But that’s alright.
I said that that’s alright.
I may not want to admit it,
I’m just a fool for your stockings I believe.

Now I don’t mind when you send money
And bring your girlfriends with you,
But how could one be so thoughtless to try
And handle less than two?
But that’s alright.
I said that that’s alright, baby.
I may not want to admit it,
I’m just a fool for your stockings I believe.