"Goin' to Kansas City. Kansas City here I come..."
 

"They got some crazy little women there and I'm a-gonna get me one." Here are some crazy little women just for you.

This week's recycled joke...
 

1. I have five times your strength, Kirk! 2. Resist, and I'll crush you like I crush this phaser! 3. Surrender the Enterprise to me, or I'll...OOOF! 4. (FART)...oh God...(FAAART) 5. Shouldn't (FART)...have (BUUURP)...eaten (FAAART)...Takei's (RETCH)...lunch...uhhhh!

1.(Low quality model shot) 2. Titslinga, my daughter...how many times do I have to tell you this? 3. We're rich. We live in a floating city. You don't have to wear the fucking curtains...

Lessons learned, Dave's big day, DUI tests, aquatic lesbians...
 

And other threats to Democracy.

Fishism In America
 

Fishism is a word tossed around a lot in our country these days. Personally, I think fish are OK. I mean, sometimes sharks can be a pain in the ass. One took that poor young surfer girl's arm. Still, it's not like sharks are pulling us into the ocean to attack us. We are intruding on their surf. I mean, if a shark walks into a bad human neighborhood at night, he's probably going to risk getting robbed or shot at or something. Right? So if we go in the ocean, we risk getting torn up by a shark. It only seems fair. So if they stay in the water and we stay on the land, it's all good...don' cha think? We also say, when something appears suspicious that it "seems fishy." What's that about? How is talk like that going to improve human/fish relations? All this rhetoric about fishism being a bad thing just seems like we're being kinda unfair to fishes. So here's a post that raises awareness of fishism and hopefully will improve relations with our fishy friends,or not.

1. SCAM-CO premium roadside assistance kits. Now equipped with new and improved features. 2. In the event of a break down, just slip into our specially designed emergency panties, and position yourself as shown. Assistance will arrive in moments, guaranteed. 3. Available in classic, and thong style (disclaimer; results may vary depending on age, gender and body type).

1. Hey, there's no discount designer shoe store up here...why would that guy want us to climb this ladder for no reason? 2. What do you mean the more you drink the better we look? 3. Okay, okay...maybe my bill WAS a little too high.

Happy Labor Day (GiF)!

INTERNATIONAL TRACK SITTING COMPETITION
 

Special Masturbator?
 

Guilty humor.

Misunderstandings, Music, Partner Choices...
 

And Stranger Things.

A few goofy ones with Priceless type text
 

Had some fun making these of my own photos....

The Perils of Polygamy
 

And the intrusions of Artificial Intelligence.

Friday Night Funnies
 

Don't pretend you have something better to do.

Rim jobs and other jokes WITHOUT pictures of unattractive, divisive politicians.
 

Rim jobs are kinda funny if you think about it. Dogs think of a rim job as a friendly greeting. Only the first two jokes are about rim jobs, so if you're not a dog, you might like the others more.

Busted Bust GIF
 

"The ultimate censorship is the flick of the dial." -Tommy Smothers

I would add, walking away. Not doing, reading, or watching whatever it is you object to and at OCC, moving on to the next thread.

Humor of a certain kind...
 

The STUPID kind.
( The cartoon cat has almost the same facial expression of the old man. It's just a funny picture to find where I found it, in an amateur porn pictorial of a French woman. )

Apparently, doing this thread...
 

Is a thankless job.

Gif, dude.
 

Do you all remember the dream sequence in "The Big Lebowski" where "The Dude" is floating under a line of spread-legged bowling girls? He spins on his back so he can look at their crotches as he floats by. I wonder if this was the inspiration? Is this also where the term "muff diving" was born? Who knows? At any rate, the woman's flying dive made me smile. Maybe it will do the same for you.

funny face
 

face wife

funny face
 

wife face

Good attitudes. Bad attitudes. Giving up and self help.
 

Pressing on despite it all.

Oh and there's these.
 

Stress relief. Crank calls. Pole dancers on the metro line.

Gif...it moves!
 

Apparently the victim of yet another dog for ransom crank call.

People are assholes.
 

Men are assholes. Women HAVE assholes...it's no wonder that most relationships are assholish. Perhaps the couples below will make you feel better about your own dysfunctional mess. And...there's a couple of off theme jokes too.

Gif. It moves! Click.
 

That time I went to the public library and asked the librarian if she had any info on The Grand Tetons.

The Ravings of a Mad Man
 

Last 2 are gifs and here are logical captions:

1. In Ridley Scott's next "Alien" movie the alien hatchling no longer bursts from its victim's chest. It will...oh my gawd!
2. This one time...at band camp..."Ompa! Ompa! Ompa!"

100 PAGES OF THIS SHIT!
 

Thanks to those who have stuck around for the whole twisted ride.

100 Page Celebration Gifs
 

Logical Captions

1. Some women think breast feeding is like gun fighting..."Draw!"
2. Do people with epilepsy masturbate?
3. This pretty much sums up this thread's sexiness.
4. Leaping straight into 100 MORE pages of "I Love You Funny Face."

Do people with epilepsy masturbate? Yes (GiF). This girl is not faking. She really seems to have orgasm induced seizures. And while they may look hilarious, they're nothing to laugh at. She's also one of the most beautiful women you're ever going to see, which perfectly illustrates the extreme cruelty of nature...

Without warning, two more victims of the Mississippi pond shark meet their fate...

That last one sure leapt out of my screen!

Thanks a lot, buddy.
 

Thanks, Lonmol for making me feel like a total piece of shit for making a joke about epilepsy. OK...how about I change that caption to read: "My girlfriend cums like a Replicant (pleasure model) that's been shot by a Blade Runner." Jeesh! If can't make fun of people with disabilities, how am I ever going to get elected to public office? By the way, that "cold day in hell" came pretty quickly didn't it? Porn addict, like the rest of us! Meanwhile, here's some more inappropriate humor.

Caption for the gif below...Drugs? "Just say NO! "

Well, 'tis better to rule in Hell than serve in...no wait, that has nothing to do with this. You see, God is slightly dyslexic, and when it comes to who actually lives where, it seems we've always been one letter off...

No, I haven't heard anything about a recall of bathing suits that dissolve in the water. Why do you ask?

Gagco Insurance can save you money.
 

You can sign up with Gagco or that other one, Aggressive Insurance. You know... the one with Menstrual Flo as their spokeswoman.

My owner's at work, sweetheart. Whaddaya say we go back to my place and do it human style?

"Okay class, we're going to do things differently today." Karen couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something was definitely off about their substitute aerobics instructor.

Streak for Tigers at London Zoo
 

12:00pm...2:00pm...4:00pm.

The new and improved (Titty) Twister. From the folks at Milton Bradley.