Tequila is really not a good friend to me

One night when we went out together, I found out I had bought several hundreds of dollars worth of drinks

another time, I woke up naked and cuffed to my bed with some blonde chick and my wife staring at me.

which wouldn't be so bad but neither one of them would tell me what happened

So I was not smart enough to leave her alone, I chased her one more time, some years back, when I was doing "contracting work" for corporate executives in Central America

I was talking to this little number in a bar, just her, me and Tequila, when her boyfriend (or husband) came in, and boy was he pissed

He began yelling, she shoved him, he smacked her, and I hit him in the head with the butt of my pistol. It was fast and over before you knew it.

When I took her back to the hotel room and got to talking to her, I found out she was not from that country, but an American visiting relatives. More tequila

As I was relaxing after a great blowjob, I caught her out of the corner of my eye grab my pants and head into the bathroom

When she returned, I grabbed my pants and noticed my wallet was missing, but said nothing.
I wondered what the game was,
She picked up the phone and told me she was ordering room service.