That dog has excellent comic timing.

1. Anger, fear, aggression...the dark side of the Force are they! 2. Two girls one cup? What's the big deal? I did the same thing right after lunch.

This thread will get you...
 

and your little dogs too.

Space...The Final Frontier
 

Don't make Star Wars, make Star Trek Love.

Some shocking news...
 

She just...might...possibly...be pregnant. But I m going to seek a second opinion...just to be sure.

More Star Trek Fun
 

I keep finding promising Trek cosplay pics. Promising exactly what I'll never know.

1. If you elect me in 2024, I will make Melania's tits even bigger! 2. They will be the biggest tits...so big...nobody makes bigger tits than me. 3. And we'll make Mexico pay for them!

I'm sorry ensign, but I'm afraid Romulan Ointment can only be applied with the tongue...

1. Very impressive lieutenant. Not many off-worlders have mastered the
musical instruments of my world. 2. Lt. Uhura, where...did you...leave...your Vulcan harp?

1. As I look at this terrible, terrible devastation...such devastation...the most devastation. 2. I think we can agree that never before has there been a greater tragedy in America...such tragedy...the worst tragedy. 3. No president in the history of our beautiful nation...has ever made so great a sacrifice...or suffered so great a loss. 4.... 5. Don't worry daarling, when we're back at White House, secret service will get you new ice cream cone.

1,2,3. On Earth...two hundred years ago...I was a genetically enhanced hair dresser. 4. Deaf Car plans? I think you boarded the wrong ship, Mister! 6. The landing party found it on the surface of Gamma hydro-cortisone . They said it reminded them of me. 7. What are you doing Spock? Obviously doctor, I am attempting to catalog the Captain's extensive toupee collection.

1. What is it called? 2. Prune juice, Worf. 3. Finally, a warrior's drink! 4. My God Beverly, it was horrible. He kept drinking it, and drinking it...gallons of the stuff. We all warned him, but it was no use...

Actually, Lonmol's prune juice joke makes the first one funnier
 

One can only imagine what prune juice infused, Klingon semen can do to vaginal chemistry. It might even make a half human Betazoid miss the mark as an empath.

IT'S A GIF!!!!!
 

With the overturning of Roe vs Wade, experts fear a rise in self-induced abortions. Below is an...uh...extreme example.

I don't often laugh at my own jokes, but I literally couldn't catch my breath while I was writing the prune juice one. The Picard/Crusher screencap really sells the joke. I imagine they had to evacuate three decks.

They say that this is not Melania.

Well, obviously...but which model was she?

Everybody's staring at their phones...
 

But what are they looking at? The first four are I Love You Funnyface text messages.

PS: Lonmol, I believe it when you say you rarely laugh at loud at your own jokes. The last one here is a gif of a dog laughing at your jokes. Off camera. ;)

No matter how great the danger. No matter how dire the circumstances. Captain Kirk always kept his eye on the...uh...ball.

1. George Lucas REALLY needs to stop making changes to Star Wars. 2. Not my work, but I really wish I'd thought of this one.

1. The seldom seen dirty bomb episode of Sesame Street. 2. The day Bert got ahold of Ernie's diary, and found out what REALLY happened to Mr. Hooper. 3. Nobody realized that Bert was a mainline coke adict, until the day shoved that rubber ducky up Ernie's ass.

Sesame Street sure has changed...
 

Hey sweetheart, what do you charge for a Milwaukee blizzard, a Kentucky tractor pull and a Leningrad steamer?

It's funny because that's the actual dialogue from the scene.

Relationships are complicated
 

Even more so, it seems, when it's hot.

VADER: Did your men lay out my rubber stockings, crotchless panties and lightsaber shaped butt plugs? MAJOR FLUNKY: Yes, M'lord. VADER: Good, prepare my bubble bath, and set my vaporizer to maximum.

Bert shows Ernie a photo album that contains some disturbing images from his younger days.

If your humor never pisses anyone off...
 

You're probably not doing humor right.

(Last two...pic/gif combo go together)

1. For a few brief moments, Bert forgets his pathological hatred of women. 2. ERNIE, I AM TRYING TO SLEEP. PLEASE GO MASTURBATE IN THE OTHER ROOM!!!

Is there anybody out there?
 

Do people come to porn sites to see muppets? Do aliens practice silly marriage superstitions? Can used sex toys get a guy elected president? If any of that's possible, you'll find it here.

Only one is of these is a fake.

Oh shit! I think they're starting to melt...

Not my own work.

Lonmol and I trading posts and thanks is more fun than a barrel of monkey pox
 

The thread continues...with less support than a Walmart training bra.

1. Wha..who..who is it? 2.(Click) Captain? What are you doing in my quarters? 3. Oh...hello councilor...I was just...ummm...just on my way to the bridge...yes...the bridge. 4...and the reason that I'm naked...well...you see...there was a transporter accident...no...AN ENERGY BEING...yes...an energy being took control of my body...there was nothing I could do...clearly I'm not responsible for any of my actions. 5. Picard to sickbay...This is a medical emergency!!! I'm having a stroke. MEDICAL EMERGENCY!!! 6.***

1. Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott, but ye can call me Scotty...and may I say ye have a bonny fine pair of tits fer such a wee lassie. 2. (FUME) 3...and that's when the wee b*tch beat the fuckin' shit out of me...

McCoy to bridge. We've just found an intestinal parasite in the ship's food supply...nastiest thing I've ever seen...worse than Vulcan blood fever and Klingon herpes combined. It's called the Romulan Trots. We traced it to a shipment we received during our stop over at the planet Java 6...whatever you do Jim, don't drink the coffee!

Violating one watermelon seems waste enough...but two?
 

It just isn't logical.

1. This light-up dildo is mine, or I will help you not! 2. I'm counting on you to fix it, Scotty...the 430 crew members of the Enterprise are counting on you...it's the only Orgasmatron on the ship. 3. I don't know, there's just something off about those Disney Star Wars films...

1. Men, we have a crucial mission to perform. Each of you has been selected because you're one of Starfleet's finest. You all have long and distinguised careers ahead of you, and it is both an honor, and a privilege to serve with every single one of...2. The coffins are ready? Good, now we can beam down. 3. Och, the Captain's order from the hair club for men came early again this month. 4. But I'M supposed to be the molester on this show! 5. Major West, YOU know the secret NAMBLA handshake, too???

Dick Wars, "The Office" Strikes Back, Return of the Cows...and other shit.
 

The last one is a gif and the only appropriate caption is what the cat on the left seems to be meowing: " Asshole!"