I hope y'all keep things going in the right direction. I have to admit "while I don't like to" this thread has my intrest. Don't get me wrong I really am routing for you but I guess its human nature to find interest in drama.

Things in life are rarely smooth
 

We're getting there. I'm aware that this post is not exactly **SPANK-ABLE** material, there has been various posts here and other places in which things don't go right when people in a long-term relationship are opening themselves to outside sexual partners. Some due better than others. Some force such things on the other. The wife and I have talked with many other couples who are open or polyamorous. Some who have been around for decades but also some which end in divorce, but not always related to sex.

So "Challenges" is how actions and words can dictate what can happen. Talking more with the wife has been a help... but both of us having some health issues didn't help - Don't worry, none of it related to sex /STDs ;)

Oh, I hate drama. Life is already fucking hard without drama!

Part 3 - What the banging?
 

(fixing some typos + a more info)
One of the guys, the older one with the live-in girlfriend went to bed fairly soon. Meanwhile the wife was up with Dave, and she seduced him – both of them are drunk and easy. In her words “Yes, I fucked Dave. I’ve been trying to figure out a time to tell you.” She was honestly sorry about it. I hugged her and said “I’m okay with it, being honest with me is more important. I was never jealous of sex” Another big hug, I then said “well, you kind of threw out the Monogamy rule out, eh?” she laughed.

In the past week or so since during this fight and since, she has seen two doctors and has some issues going on, can even be life-threatening, but everything is treatable with medication. These have been a source of many problems that we were not aware of. :( She’s feeling better already, but not her usual self but being aware of things dragging us down is a big help.

PART 3

The wife and I would talk everyday over our issues for a week, 30~60min here and there when we can. I talked to another poly couple, friends of ours – to see if we can have social, drink and talk time about their rough spots and our own situation. This is the day after we made-up. We also invited and wanted John to attend so we could be more open, etc – but he wasn’t able to attend.

She asked permission from me to ask Dave to join us as we’ll also have a Friday “movie” night at this place and Dave hasn’t seen the movie before. I told her I have reservation because Dave is college student who does seasonal work for the her company and has friends that works there. She says he’s more mature than he seems and I clear it with our host friends. Dave is a 135lb boy vs. my 210lb intimidating build. She tells me that he’s worried I’m going to take him somewhere to beat the shit out of him and leave him in a field. So I decided to have fun with him, but couldn’t find our toy rubber knife with the bade that slides into the handle. So I only fake-chewed him out for 15 seconds before I started laughing. Wife was in on this.

We all have a good time with the movie and other videos, getting drunk… we didn’t talk as much about open relationship issues as I wanted. Dave personally apologizes for his actions one of the times we are talking alone. I’m sorry he had to see a couple’s fight. As it turns out, he had recently broken up with a girl a week or so before and that compared to the fights he constantly had with her on a daily basis, that what my wife and I did seemed tame. After 5+ years of being together, that “tame” fight was the worse we experienced of the 3~4 fights we’ve ever had. I told him he’s a “kid” to us at age 21 and not be insulted by that, considering I’m 45 and the wife is 31. He’s a good looking young man, no fat and like many – he’s insecure and has difficulty asking girls out on a date. I would find out later that he’d only had sex a few times with his last girlfriend of about 5 months and has experience with only 3 girls (not including my wife).

As we left around 3am, my wife gets to our SUV and notices that I have moved the baby seat to the cargo area. She smiles, “really?” as Dave gets in one side and surprised to find the wife get inside the other. She quickly starts on him, I don’t remember what Dave said about her pulling his cock out and stroking it – but my response was “Does it look like I have a problem with her sucking your dick?” She then promptly engulfs his dick into her mouth. For most of the 15min drive back to our home, she is giving him head in the back seat of our SUV.

When we get home – I check to see if my parents are about – they are awake near the back, so I send wife and Dave upstairs to a spare bedroom and that I’ll be up ASAP, while I talk with the parents. I gauge when they are going to sleep (which is downstairs) and they assume my wife has gone to our bedroom to crash. They won’t go into our bedroom without our permission. Sadly, they end up being actively awake and don’t fall asleep until 6am!

When I finally make it upstairs and open the door – he’s on top pounding on my wife with her ankles by her head. He had already came twice in the past 2+ hours. She has an IUD and we’re all STD free – so she already got two loads in her pussy. I even manage to take some pics and videos with my phone without them noticing, not that I was hiding; even touching her with my camera in my hand, until I told them later. We’d go back and forth on her until 7am as I had brought a baby monitor with me and he was stirring. I was tired anyway. So I told him he can sleep till noon, but both had to stay upstairs until then – when I get them. I left the room with her sucking him off. The upstairs is dinky, with a small loft area overlooking the living room and hallway. My office is upstairs with the spare bedroom that shares a bath with the office. Me going up or coming down at any time is normal. My wife coming down with another guy would NOT be normal. My parents are staying in the baby room for another few weeks as the stairs are a safety hazard for very young and old – I knew they’d sleep past 1pm that Saturday. I got the baby his bottle and we both went to sleep.

I got up after 12:15, sent a text that I’m up and will be the look out for their exit. No response. I get up there at 12:30 and you can guess what they are doing. Damn, to be young, dumb and full of cum, again. I tell them to wrap it up quickly, wash off and go. He pulls out unfinished, shortly after. For a skinny and somewhat short guy – he’s got a decent size penis. I would later tell him that he should not be insecure because women would have nothing to complain about, which boosted his ego. He makes it out, she goes to our bathroom to clean up and get a bit more sleep. They had fallen asleep before 8 and woke up at 12 – when I told them too. Since I hasn’t texted them – they decided to kill time. Wife and I both end up falling asleep while talking. She thanked me for allowing it, for recommending that she could fuck him.

To be clear, I’ve know Dave for a few months before. There was no sexual tension before. As far as she was concerned – what had happened a few nights before was a drunken accident in which neither of them planning on doing “it” again… well, not likely anyway since she had gone to work mad at me still.

That same Saturday; we’ve decided to go out to one of our clubs. Its industrial / punk with little judgment. Even gays, lesbians and transgender people hang out there, will kiss/PDA in public with rarely an issue. My wife recommends Dave comes along, that he needs to expand, meet more people. I agreed.

She goes out in a mini black pleated skirt and small top. Dave’s never been to such a club but is fine as he is.
She rides in the front seat to the club which is on the other side of the city, about a 35 minute drive each way.
At this club, we are known as a married couple – but also kinksters like many of the others. I’ve even run into 6 girls there who are friends – that I had previous had sexual relations with (which my wife knows and is friends with) and do a bit of flirting. We both dance with my wife – same time and separate. So yes, people have seen my wife make out with other guys and gals – and now with Dave. There are some specific women my wife wants to eat out at this club, which we have been talking too. More for her than me.

My wife does want me to have a girl or two on the side – even thou four days earlier she was grilling my ass about the life style and that we should consider going monogamous. One of the girls there I talk to that night does want to have sex with me, FWB type. But alas, we have to go home – bar is closed. I don’t drive while plastered nor let others of unknown condition to drive – so the other two pile in the back. By the time I drive out of the parking lot and I’m waving goodbye to some people at the sidewalk – my wife is already straddling Dave. I know she doesn’t have panties on because they are in my pocket; I managed to take some selfies in which you can see her panties sticking out of my pocket and her on top Dave. She laughed when she saw them. I take some video of the action while driving. Sorry for the shitty pics, my phone is dying and will get a new one in a few months. I’ll post two I think. I don’t care much that they aren’t great- it’s the event I care about.

I take my time driving and for 40+ minutes they fucking or sucking. She looses her top with the first few minutes. A short time later, while she is riding him – I reach back and unclasp her bra… so only her mini-skirt is offering any cover… none when its around her waist.
I record about 8 minutes of videos, which the wife would later masturbate too. I am able to see pretty good between the seats, taking peeks when on the highway or at stop lights. They are pretty much dressed when we enter our neighborhood.

When we get home, I find the parents and the baby are up. I text the wife “NOT TO COME IN!” until I give the all clear. I do check on our SUV from our window and even in the low light from the street lamp, I can see our car rockin’. It would be about 15 minutes before I give the all clear, but there was accident that resulted broken glass in the baby room, so while the grandparents kept the baby away in the living room – I was cleaning up the mess, using a vacuum cleaner which would hide the noise of the front door opening.
I looked at the clock, from the time I parked the car, cleaned up – everyone settled in for the night – it had taken over an hour! I step into our dark bedroom, that has our color “party” fuck lights on – and for the first time ever, in our bed – is *MY wife* with a cock inside her and its not me. She’s getting fucked quietly but rapidly by this 21yr old. Taking a few minutes for me to undress, put some things away while they at it, even spend a bit of time recording a video, for which I know how to do better next time with the lighting situation.

While he’s banging away at her, I’m kissing her and playing with one of her tits and and WTF! – there is a knock on the *locked* door. I quickly grab a leg from each of them to STOP fucking. He finally freezes inside and I’m able to get up, throw on the boxers and poke my head out. It’s a short Q&A with mom about the next day and goodnight.

The bedroom layout that you can’t SEE anything from the door until you walk in and make a turn. We’ve had 18yr old relatives come in to use the bathroom (without knocking) and not know we’re BUSY.

By the time I got to the bed, he was slow humping her from behind and but soon going at it like a banshee, we continue this threesome for another 15minutes for a break. We’re spooning and she has me in her hand – but we all end up falling asleep about the same time. When we wake up mid-morning, its pretty much shower and go for the guest as we start our Sunday plans. As I cleaned out the car, I had to text Dave and the wife that they left cum stains on the seats, what assholes. I left one small stain to show them later.

This is what happened 5 days from a fight to this point. I started writing part one when the situation above starting coming into play on the 13th… not knowing how things were going to play out.

More adventures happened, it’ll take me a while to write it out.

Why am I doing this? I need to make right what I did wrong, to show trust in each other. It also gives me an idea on how to repair the relationship between Wife<>Myself<>John. I’m also stressed out from work, family life, parents, bills and medication to help with a leg injury is effecting my erections. Sucks, my head is horny – while the lower one takes a beating to wake up. Crying baby kills erections. I want my wife to not suffer, and I do get turned on anyway. The sex in the car thing + videos and picture taking is turning her on, we’re both finding new kinks we like.

Is this too much? Continue with the last 7 days? :) Photos: Side shot was 3 minutes after leaving the club. The other is a frame of video of her riding him like a cowgirl, taken 30 mins later and almost home. Much of the video shows too much face or too dark :( Sorry I cannot share the videos.

Nope!
 

Absolutely not too much. Please continue! And thanks for the pics!:D

The Four
 

With all these hours of pounding, my wife’s little pussy needs a day or so of rest. During this time we discuss how our relationship is going and the friendship between myself and Dave. We’re trying to not make the mistakes of last time, which happened so recently and of course oddly jumped into. Our talks have strengthened and confirmed our long term goals together, including renewing our vows. We are going on vacation this weekend, just for the two of us to walk along the sea.

Unknown to the wife, I’ve started working on a contract which state various rules of etiquette and rules of engagement which ends up being two pages long and won’t be finish for a few more days as our interaction and my talks with Dave helps me to find faults. A contract is typically used in the BDSM lifestyle to outline the expectation of the parties involved and I used that as a basis for such rules. I’ll get back to this contract later.

So far, Dave has been having sex with my wife every other night or more since we almost broke up. My wife is enjoying sex and the trust I have been showing them. After a few days of rest we three go out on an after hours research project, that also allows us to stop at a few places for a drink. This starts around 11pm and some oral sex in the back. We head across town to check out another location for data gathering before looking for a bar to have drinks. But I’ve not been in this part of town for a few years and I’m not finding anything. We’re jamming to music when a cute girl in a car next to us give’s us some attention – which results in my wife pulling her shorts down and mooning her. We follow them to a bar that is open late on Tues. We chat with the couple a bit and pretty much hang by ourselves. The young woman from the car point out to me that Dave is making out with my wife. I shrugged and say “They work together”. She is not cool with it and, oh well – she’s not my problem - not like I wanna fuck her.. We finish our game of pool and head out, the girl’s boyfriend was a bit rude as we walk out the door with a friendly wave from me, we’re off to check on one last location. A bit of sex happens in the back, but at this 20 story high-rise building – there are empty offices for which we get to play while overlooking the city at night for about 30 minutes before we head back home. We chat for the return ride and drop off Dave, but he does manage to get 10 mins of sex before then.

The next night, its just me and Dave as the wife is tired and stays at home. We talk for over two hours which is where I learn the most about him. I gave him recommendation for school and relationships. About not being insecure with girls. This is where I talk to him about ego and respect. I pointed out to him that in the past 7+ days, he had more sex with my wife (than I have with her) in the past month due to her period, our schedules, fight and my own issues. Hell, Dave has had more sex in that week than he has all year with anyone else. He came about 15 times inside her or on her by then, while I’ve only done it twice. I tell him “do I seem jealous or upset at you fucking my wife?” that stroked his ego – and the point was to show understanding of the situation and that my ego isn’t hurt. That he’ll have no problem pleasing any young woman with 2~4 hours of fucking abilities. I ended the night letting him know I was working on some rules so that we can continue giving my loving wife a good time.

Its now the next night, Fri the 18th. Dave is over at our home early evening – I tell my parents he’s going to hang with us when we go out. While doing normal household things – my wife tells me “you know, we should make a up a contract or something soon”, which I told her that I had just finished and if she wanted to read now. She really didn’t know I was working on it and it excited her. She quickly read the contract, then we showed it to Dave before I printed it out. I went over it verbally with them, but it was getting late and we had to get to the dance club – so I brought it with us to sign later. We drink, we dance, we drink some more – she takes off his shirt on the dance floor as we three danced together. This isn’t our main club – so we didn’t run into anyone we knew. About an hour before we left – the wife takes her thong off and puts it over his head and around his neck – it looks kind of like an accessory :) Nobody cared or noticed at the club, hell I didn’t either at first - I had only told her to take it off and assumed she put it in her purse.

On the four block walk to our car, he had to piss and there were port-a-pods – so the wife held his dick while he peed, maybe 1-2 people noticed since the door was open. As we were getting on the road, I get a text from a woman of a couple we want to play with – they happen to be at the same club we just left, having missed each other for the 30 minutes we were there at the same time! ARGH! That would most likely have turned into a 5-some as my wife made it clear to me she wants to fuck her.

... to be continued.

Last of Sept
 

Fun for the end of September.

Other than heavy petting, fingers and oral – no intercourse in the back. The wife wore a very nice dress that is not easy to take off, especially in the back of an SUV. We went to Dave’s place since his room-mate is out for the weekend. With everyone naked and doing oral on the wife or she on us; the wife wanted me to get something from a 7-11 type store. Fine, but I remembered the contract didn’t get signed. I said they couldn’t have sex until we all signed it… when I get back as I wanted to tease them. That put them on hold for 15 minutes in which the most he was allowed to do was eat her out. We signed the paper, had a round of drinks and spent the remaining hours of night doing various things to the woman I love.

What’s in the contract? In short, it’s a 3 month trial with the option for 1 year.
They can have sex with or without me and don’t require my permission nor can I tell her "no sex" with Dave – but I must be notified before, during or after a sex time with him. I included a rule in which I wasn’t allowed to cancel the contract (I’m making up for mistakes last time) which the wife liked. It outlined what was allowed and not allowed as well as not interfering with my family household along with the ability to add amendments. I put pretty much all the power into my wife’s hands.

Now before you get ahead of yourselves, THIS IS NOT a cuckold contract/fetish. Each their own, but I am into being involved sexually in 3-4somes MFM / FMF, etc. My wife has eyed a girl or two to try and hook me/us up with as my time with work and such makes it rather difficult for me. Face women, easier for women to get dick than for us guys to get pussy. We have no desire to lick my penis in a cage, with no disrespect for those that do.
I do get off on her getting her tight pussy pounded from views I can’t see IF I’M the one who is having sex with her. And I do get off on her having a bit of power to do this as we both are learning to expand our kinky ways.

As of this writing, we went one more time together to the first club. One reason was to meet up with the couple we missed and build a relationship with them. The ride home was the usual fun of sex in the back seat but we were all hungry when we got back to our side of town. The two fuckers in back want Jack in the Box tacos, typical drunk junk food we all KNOW we eat at 2~5am! So I order 6 tacos for $3 at the drive-thru menu while she’s on top. I come around the bend and see a car already at the window so I hang back by 4 car lengths. A car comes up behind us soon and by that time, my wife is up against the passenger door in a squat type position while Dave is fucking into her slowly but hard, I’m sure the folks in the car behind us noticed the rocking.

Only thing I can see from my drivers side is his back side and her lower legs, as her knees are up by her shoulders and her feet dangling. **oh well** I pull up to the window, after all its 3am and what fast-food guy is going to be upset to see a sex show for free. But its a young woman running the window, about 18~20 years old. Cute. I hand her money and wait as she makes change and gives us our food and the water I asked for when I gave her cash. She didn’t blush, wasn’t rude or anything - but looking back, I think it was a poker face.

You kind of know the view a drive-thru window has, so I don’t see how she didn’t get a show. If it was a guy I might have made sure he knew. By the time we hit the road, they were both at it hard. We talked about it, wife was enjoying the fuck itself, to really care but was turned on by something we DID, that was never done before.

So now, we have a bucket list for her and Dave to fuck when going through a late night Taco Bell, Taco Cabana, etc...

Over the many days since part 3, we’ve continued to do thrill sex with the car and looking for safe ideas and places to do more. As a friend pointed out - our police cars have night vision and infrared - so we can’t be careless.

One of our notable drives involved us driving along the service road as we changed highways, I ended up along side a state DOT truck, a large on in which I can look up and see both of the passenger and driver LOOKING at me and into the back of my SUV - with smiles as they got a free show. I drove slower than usual to each intersection and waited for the light, so they got 3 stop lights worth of fun before we each went our different ways. The wife was on top, so could easily make out a pale petite woman riding a guy since she was completely nude they saw her butt up to the back of her head. They never stopped fucking, but they KNEW a big truck was next to us!

We are starting to talk about sex games, challenges, bets and dares. Like can she make him cum with a blowjob before we reach a destination, but a nearby police car required me to cancel that. Another is one of the times we played billiards, I came up with a challenge for them: Loser gets anal - as I told Dave that the wife has a strap on (not for me). Wife lost that one, and yep. I watched as she got reamed a bit. This is actually quite new for both of us as John did it to her over a month ago and we’ve done it once ourselves as she is still getting used to it. She been doing a finger for a while in her butt that has been turning her on after all these years. It won’t be a regular thing, but more challenges for that area is likely to happen, especially since she does want to try DP - but we’ll see how she progresses - its her call and it must be fun for her.

We’ve had some threesomes and sleep overs. We’re planning on doing something during the day so I can video record better video of her getting banged by Dave from various positions and angles. I’ll direct a bit so I can record the details as she loves watching cock sliding in and out of her body.

Just the two of us are going on vacation this weekend, she’s paying for it and we’ll be making plans on what we can or should do during the road trip and the hotel. Playing with others is not the goal. Dave will have blue balls for a while.

Thanks clitty for the detailed reports. This shows the things that can happen and how disagrements can be worked out. For us there is not much of an age difference and we mostly grew up teaching each other about sex.
Our biggest fear of swapping and being swingers was the fact that so many end up divorcing and some of the swingers hooking up.
My wife would never do any of it for years so maybe that helped keep us together. Now that she finally fucks other men we are to old to think about divorce and I enjoy watching her and her special friends together. So far I have been there to watch closely but feel if she wants to go off someplace for a day or so I will know what happened and have nothing to worry about.
We are happy for you and your wife. It's not for everyone to share the love of our lives but if we truly love them we want them to have a great time whatever they do.

Thanks.

Its a legitimate concern... for ANYONE. Hence I posted the ugly with the fun (at least another of us has had issues) - to help others.

Had a talk with Dave last night, he was being very respectful to me as we had an honest talk. I told him that the wife and I have some things to work out, but it has nothing to do with him. He's a good kid who can fuck for hours... She's wearing him out.

Vacation
 

I thought I had posted this already.

It was a short vacation, we both had work to do and it involved us driving hundreds of miles to the coast. Its been years since either of us has ever had a vacation... so it was quite tiresome too.

We enjoyed the coast, its been a long time since I've seen so much water... I always consider moving, but I'm not a fan of hurricanes. We were too rushed and tired to do anything kinky in the car.

We drank a lot more than usual, we went out dancing, even going to a rave. So yeah, we even passed the fuck out from being tired drunk. So not as much sex as we had hoped and planned. We had quite a bit of fun being social, the lights, music, etc.

Some stand outs: One of the nights we were having sex, or before anyway. With our window facing kind of towards the sea and the parking lot on our 4th floor room, the window curtains were open. Wife turns on the lights and stands by the window sometimes, and around the room, then sometimes on me. It was very late, but even I notice a few people coming in - that didn't happen to look up. Oh well... she wanted them to look up. This was a first time for HER to do this and on her own, quite cool. :) I was more nervous than she was as it was a rather small hotel and our room was on the very end of the building, so not hard to find our room.

On another night, after dancing at about 3am, we walked onto the beach with our clothes and she went out onto a concrete water break. I told her to not go far, but she disappeared into the darkness, I can barely see her iphone and she texted me that she's at the end. We didn't go to this part of the beach during the day so we didn't know what it looked like. This break is about 20" across, about a foot above the water - but some waves are right on it, so the top is WET. When she comes back a few minutes later, she tells me I SHOULD do it. We're both drunk and somewhat stupid - but sure. I'm wearing my shoes too and like her, I went out with my phone. I'm more than double her weight and size and it takes me over a minute to make it to end, which is about 150+ feet from shore, I have no idea how deep it is. The end has a small L-bend to it, about 4 feet. No way to lay down and a bit nervous for me to turn around. But its almost pitch black and not much moon. It was great, I couldn't hear the city, just the water. I take some pics and text her back - I can barely see her on the beach. From my eyes, she looked about half an inch tall, a moving stick. Could not make our her arms.

She texts me that shes coming out, which bothers me as having one of us on shore allows the ability to call for help. I can't really see her until she's halfway out. We chat, we passionately kiss. Its a great view of the city and we can't be seen. She carefully gets on her knees and gives me a blow job. That's love. We walk back safely to the beach, get to our room and fuck like rabbits.

The End?
 

Hey folks. I've been pretty much gone for a while. Not happy times.
Drama issues has happened. Not so much of what I've posted here, but other issues that has effected our marriage for the worse.

COMMUNICATION!

We've been talking about the problems we've been having, but not about HOW to actually fix those problems.
My postings here is pretty much done, doesn't matter if we survive or not. I don't know.
A friend is helping us sort our differences and how to resolve them.

My addiction to online video games, blogging and a few other things are part of the problem.
So I told her today, I'm done. I've shut down my blogging habbits, cold turkey. I've deleted games I've played for 10 years.

We are likely to go monogamous as well. I do better at open relationships than she does (mentally). But we haven't gotten to that point. I'm just trying to save what I have for our toddler, rebuild what has been broken.

Hopefully she'll give me that chance.

PS: I may still swing by... but my activity will be very limited, if anything.

Good luck to you both

Yup
 

I sure hope it all works out for the both of you. Gonna miss you, brother!

I'd say we're still 50/50 - or more accurately, I don't fucking know... if we're going to make it.

Most friends say "dump that b*tch". In Anger, I should.
But I truly love this woman with all my heart, even thou she has some flaws. - Shes going to have to grow up too.

The talks got us to both open up about a lot of things, but we have far to go... its only a start. I hope we have another moderated meeting in the next 2-3 days. *I* do need to know *IF* she wants to actually repair our marriage... she going to have to make an effort. Its not going to all be on me.

I'm a very broken man. I think I can hear broken pieces moving inside my body.
But I have a new drive to make myself a better person, no matter what happens.
I also know what its going to take for us to get back together, but will she do it.... the mystery.

If you guys want updates, let me know. Its depressing for a wank-site :) I'd post basics here and there... trust me, if I posted a few times a day, you'd see tears on the screen.

After Christmas update.
 

Christmas was bad... I've been in a bad place.
Since we are "separated" and she is living in a guy's place until she gets her own.
I went out to a FWB (my wife knows I've had sex with her recently) as she had nothing to do anyway, and we drank, talked with plans for fucking to "feel better". I had a meltdown and was no way going to get an erection in my condition. I haven't been this drunk in years, not this way - since years before meeting my wife.

I'm glad I didn't have sex, I think mentally it would have fucked with my head.
The friend was there for me, cuddled me and help me out of my dark place and of course did NOT let me drive. I stayed the night.

We had a big family get together with all the kids and such. Only a 4-5 people knew we had separated. But a member visiting from across the country got wind of it... and I saw her turn into a bear onto my wife. I am the "Step husband" to this family gathering, which is my main family in all reality. "What do you mean separated?!" She asked me a few questions and I started crumbling. But we kept our distances for almost 2 hours. My nerves were shot and I'm about to leave soon... when my wife gets my attention to talk. We opened up, we cry, we don't want to break up.

We both failed each other in communication, our marriage has been in trouble for over a year. The situation blew up in our face (I'm not interested in getting into it), we both did things to each other that could have been avoided. This happens to pretty much all couples, its a make or break situation. For the most part, we know we can fix things and we want to.

One aspect of kinky sex life style is that she choose to do things because she loves me so much.
I told her, there is NOTHING that is required of her to do "for me" in such a way that causes her internal grief.
Yes, she likes to be tied up, flogged and other things which are her ideas, others not so much - but she did them to prove her love to me. I told her, she **ALWAYS** has the right to say "no". She is my equal and we are supposed to support each other.

I stayed for another 5 hours, we enjoyed each others company and that with the rest of the family.

We have lots to repair.
We're a kinky crazy couple. What do we do in the future? I don't know until we get to that bullet point on our repair list. Working on each other is what's needed.

And now we are done.

Well, she made no effort again for us to be together and still having sex with others... after she promised we would be monogamous.

So I'm done. We'll break up and go our separate ways. I don't have time in my life with such a person.

Sorry to hear that everything went bad for you.

Move on young man,, Move on!!! Plenty of fish in the sea.....learn from the past, move to the future and do it right this time...... don't fall prey to your cock.

Don't know how old you are??... but some advise?.. ie: stay away from divorced women, they are divorced for a reasson!!,, and most are just looking for a replacement paycheck,,, remember, divorced women know, KNOW the ropes of what "the piece of paper" will get them... learn to date, instead of feeling you "have to get married" to keep someone.... the difference between a Playboy & a miserable married man being used for what hes worth.. think!!

Marriage is for ONLY if your having kids.

I still love her.... but I need to real and let her go... How can I trust her, ever again anyway - right?

I've been going to AL Anon meetings. It is helping.

I see the things now, that have lead us to this place, I wish we could have done adjustments - talked more about issues and actually made the effort to make life changes.

Trust me, I'm venting here... but yeah, I've already made drastic changes to my life for the better and I need to continue moving forward.

Its been hard. I've been crying for what has been lost for the 3 of us. If she would have thought about our child and how its going to be a life-time BS for him and have us work together. We go have done something. She's not trying.

She is an alcoholic. I've been thinking more and more that she was lately. And now I know that for sure.
She needed help. I should have done more, but we both fucked up.

I gotta go. I need to get my shit together.

Amen to that.

In the UK there is a fantastic relationship counselling service called, not surprisingly, RELATE. I know folks who got great help with their teenage kids problems, others with sex problems and the like. I know they also offer advice to people going through a break-up. All UK reader take note - this is a great service if you need it.

I just looked on the net for anything similar on Clitty's side of the Atlantic but did not see anything. I guess the availability of paid professional counselling puts paid to anything voluntary. Nevertheless, I suggest you seek out some good relationship counselling. Not to save the marriage which appears to be history but to save yourself.

Remember, the most important person in this break up does not have any choice about it and it is a duty you have to put your kids interests before your own and your wife's.

I wish you a better 2016 that you have in 2015. It could hardly be worse so that was an easy one. But I do wish you strength through the darkness and the self-doubt which will undoubtedly be occurring. Good luck.

Thank you captain trips.

The problem started with alcohol abuse, which lead to bad decisions on her part and my inability to reason. This really had little to do with "kinky shit"... this would have happened regardless.

I'm going to AL-Anon meeting and I'm trying to get her to AA meetings.

Our child is what is #1, and I cry for her because she is causing so much grief for everyone over something that won't last... I have hope, somewhat... or I should just move on. I'm feeling the latter.

I agree
 

Amen to what Captaintrips said! Good luck, my friend.

12 days later
 

Yep.. 12 days later of my train crash.

Going to Al Anon meetings have saved my sanity - I've gone almost daily - even when I wasn't planning to. Got the "wife" to an AA meeting, but she was supposed to do weekly.

Serious people, if you are living with an Alcoholic or you THINK you do - go to an Al Anon meeting. Even if your wife, husband, father, mother, son, daughter, etc.

It would have helped saved my marriage along with couples counseling, which I had suggest to the wife a few months before.

I'm torn between wanting her back (She says she doesn't want me) to getting many new fresh fish from the ocean.

I am NOT open to any serious relationship anyway. I'll keep my door open my wife if reconciliation is possible.
My trust in her has been destroyed. AA and counseling is required. But dammit it, I want to date her.

But she's about to be SUPER pissed at me really really soon.

10 days later after 12 days later.
 

Update:

I had filed papers for full custody and divorce on Jan 13th. She got served, and by chance of an error - I happened to be close enough to watch. It was done at work as she wasn't home. She wasn't pissed, she was very upset.

I had no more communications from her for almost a week. She posted something in public, I replied.

We talked a bit.
We talked a bit more. We said we didn't hate each other.

She was angry at me and fucked up. Went overboard. But I've been going to meetings, learning about drinking addictions and her medication interactions. So I was researching and knew she was in trouble, dangerously so.

I said "I forgive you".
She said "How? I'm a monster, I destroyed our home, our family. I fucked you over".
I said "We had problems, cracks we didn't see. But now that we saw them - we knew they were fixable, right?"
She : "Yes, they were".
I said "then, lets not continue this path. For ourselves and child - lets repair relationship. Since we love each other".

Yes, guys - My love for her DID NOT go down since we meet.

So we talked for five hours. She opened up about everything. She canceled her lawyer plans. Quit her job. I helped moved her things out while the guy was at work, and moved her across town to her parents since she can't stay in my home (court orders) and she needed safety from bad elements. This happened yesterday.

She hadn't been drinking for a few days and her head was clearing and was seeing that she has been in a fantasy. A boy that drank more than her, every day, every night. Passing out in public, passing out at home. Nothing but drinking and drugs. She isn't into illicit drugs.

We're going to court of course, but as allies - not enemies. We already have our agreements ready for the judge. We're going to counseling, we're going to recover. She's already going to AA.

We have rebuilding to do, and we want to do it.

Even our friends - those we have "played with" - support and want us to get back together.

We are going to work on each other. As far as kinky stuff with others - we have to talk about that. We had mixed our signals on that in bad ways we were not aware of. We like doing some of the things we did, some we did not. But all that is on hold. Its just about us and only us.

Do we want to go to kink parties, hell yes. Will we play with others, not anytime soon if at all. We'll still hang our with our kinky friends - they are OUR friends still.

We do love each other very very much. She is not an object, never was - but she is my other half.

Even when I was having sex with other women, while fun - my mind was on my wife anyway. Not guilty thinking - just that I she was on my mind.


I'll update you guys if you want. And only if she is cool with it, I'll share future stories.

Thanks.

PS: I love her with all my heart.
It's been shattered, but I feel great about the journey we are willing to do for each other.

That sounds like it might be the start of good news. It is a cliché about addictions that you can only deal with them when the addict is ready and willing. It does sound like you wife may be getting to that stage now.

I have to agree with you that you stay away from "swinging" until you both again know who you are. But it is good to hear that some of your ex-partners are being supportive in a non-swinging context.

I wish you all the best and would like you to keep us posted as this is a cautionary tale for all. There is nothing "wrong" with an open relationship but all parties have to be fully in control of themselves and the situations for it to work. That appears not to have been the case with your wife. And, reading between the lines, not with yourself.

Great news!
 

This is great news, Clitty! Good luck to both of you. It sounds like this is a good start to rebuilding your relationship. All the pieces are still there, it just needs to be put back together and strengthened. :)

Update Jan 28th
 

We're back together, but she's not living with me yet. We've gone to court and got that sorted out - all is good.

We're going through the motions of repairs, rebuilding trust, etc. We're going to couples counseling and already doing very good in that area, the therapist is surprised how well we are doing who knows some of what we done (Open relationship) as it pertains to our problems.

We love each other very much. My libido is pretty much back to normal too.

We're both still hurt and working things out and excited about our future.

The friend, John has been helpful in getting us back together - but also other support from friends and such.

When we started talking, we learned we got our lines of communications crossed. She did things she thought she had TO do, because she loved me. I did things because I thought she wanted me to do, etc, etc. We both did things we wouldn't have, had we talked. Our communications have vastly improved, but we're still nervous with our feelings and easy to cause pain.

But every day, we get better and love each other dearly.

Will we do kinky stuff, hell yes! With others? Don't know - we'll don't care about that yet. We have other issues to work out first. We both are making life changing improvements because of our desire for each other, problems that we both ignored for far too long. Our kinky friends also support us too.

This will be as short as I can make it.

Things I have learned in the past few months, hell past few weeks. First: kinky/sharing with honesty is *NOT* cheating, but of course must be mutual between the couple. That said, everyone who has been betrayed by their husband or wife - IMHO, especially the wife because of emotional attachment, is perhaps one of the MOST traumatic experiences you can ever go through, it up there with death of a loved one. No joke. I've rather break both my arms. Another guy said, he's rather be shot - and he has been.

Out of all the kinky/sharing/3-some-sex we've done, none of it bothered me. We'll not quite true - there were some situations that had to be "adjusted". But lying, betrayal and the thought of your (my) wife having sex with someone else and saying "I love you" is the worst. I'm talking about gut-retching nausea, anxiety attacks with very high blood pressure. While being an "open marriage" might have helped caused the situation, the affair would have happened even if we were an iron-clad monogamous couple. What led up to it, had nothing to do with being OPEN.

The update, a few weeks ago...

We've had a major setback when my wife was not quite being honest with making contact with Dave. Hell, John had found out and warned her she needed to stop. Within two days I would find this out when we ran into Dave and the shit hit the fan. Manipulation appears to be going on, done to my wife and its needs to be sorted out.

Lets just say, police were involved and I made their affair very public to our family without giving a damn.

I'm tired. I'll post recommendations to keep in mind, such as books and articles. Affairs from the workplace is on the rise. Don't full yourself. Even the most loving, perfect marriage can end up having an affair partner by accident. Those kinksters who are 100% honest with their spouses will do very against such dangers.

I'll do this one because its simple:
http://www.goasksuzie.com/common-sym...l#.Vtaj-vkrJaQ


I'm going to bed and lay down with my sleeping wife, which I don't know if we'll have a future. I tell you what, trying to sleep in an empty is... so emptiness. We're trying again. She knows she fuked up bad and I really really shouldn't try again. But we both know - I have no more "forgiveness" left to give. She's being OPEN to things that happened and telling the truth - even if it hurts, it does actually heal, because it is actual truth to things I knew, were lies.

I have access to her online accounts... which builds trust. We have a long way to go.

What depresses me is that we've lost something that won't ever come back - even thou we may be a stronger couple in the future, which I do hope.

This is so sad but at the same time there is some hope.

As well as this awesome forum, I also spend quite some time on an Erotic Stories site (storiesonline.net). I would say that the majority of stories are concerned with upstanding males dealing more or less badly with a cheating wife. If that topic entertains us it must be dealing with a deep-held fear that many males have. Male DNA is telling you to spread it around, get as many females pregnant as you can. But watch out for that alpha-male who'll bust your balls for messin' with his ladies. Female DNA is telling them to find the fittest male in the tribe to get pregnant by.
Now we throw in a sprinkling of something we call civilization and that changes the story somewhat. The male still wants to fuck everything in sight but denies himself that for the ability and permission to fuck one particular female however many times and whenever he wants. The female makes the bargain not to seek out the fittest male for breeding if the male she has will stick around and take care of her and the offspring. Now given that, if the wife cheats, the male psyche is given a double whammy. He has contracted not to "cheat" although his DNA is telling to do just that. And now the partner has broken her side of the bargain. His whole feeling of civilization is put in question. I guess this is one reason for so many crimes de passion.

Being fair, I know a female could put a different interpretation on male cheating. But you are male and this is what you are going through.

Total and extraordinary openness and honesty on your partners part may help to create a new relationship. Don't talk about saving the old relationship. It is gone, history, dead. Whatever you have moving forward will be new as you both now have a different background to that which pertained when you first got together. You may be able to forgive (eventually) but you will never forget. And, if either of you feels that they cannot give the commitment needed to rebuild a relationship, then you should both break it off and stop pissing into the wind.

I think if you are to have any hope, some open and honest sessions with a relationship counsellor are required. I hope you find a good one.

You may find this story is not a million miles away from what you are going through ... storiesonline.net/s/57875/catch-22-wife

I completely understand the DNA of male vs female - spreading of seed, etc.... I have for over 20 years. :)

Hence I've almost always been open to Open Relationships, with TRUTH, respect and honesty.

Being betrayed the way I was, really hurt me down to my soul. Worst thing to experience in my life so far.

I already FORGAVE my wife, Captiaintrips. Really, I am past that. I'll post some links about affairs which helped me, but I barely have time to reply to this.

We're reading books and going to couples counseling. By all means, I was on a track to move on and meet other women. But I never lost life for my wife. She tells me the same thing - but was running away from her problems - rather than actually tackle them. She didn't win at running away.

I'm not into cuckold, not my thing. That story you sent me... its a fantasy. I only read the first chapter as I don't like signing up for sites. There are other free sex-story sites that require no log-in... I prefer: http://www.asstr.org

The story is very much a fantasy (again, only chap 1), where the poor SOB finds out what has just happened and will happen. The space of things in the matter of 6~24 hours is complete fantasy. His brain would be broken. He's not consenting to his wife having sex with other men. But I am in error after just saying that.... its just a sex story, so its supposed to be "fun". ;)

Oh, forgot to add this part, captaintrips.

Wife has been going to AA meetings semi-regularly now. 1~3 times a week. Shen she asks, I take her.

She's been very sober for over a month and is far more clear headed that before.

The end. Part one
 

Well, it went bad last week. She wouldn't stop seeing or talking to the guy she cheated on me with.

She wanted to be with him, and I kicked her out of my home. She is unable to see what she is doing, is wrong.

I am not going to get into the details at this moment, but I'll do another post in a few days as I collect my head.

Things were done wrong, knee-jerk reactions. If anything, this thread serves as a timeline for MYSELF and OTHERS to see where things went horribly wrong.

As I go backwards more and more, Dec, Nov, Oct, AUG... and in the end, the problem started right here, on the my first post, on page one. We thought we had our boundaries, we did not. She is in an affair fog and simply not seeing the reality of what she is doing. The success rate for a relationship that is created by an affair is less than 1%. Because a "love" built on pain and destruction is not a good foundation to start with. She doesn't think it will fail.

There were times when the brakes should have been applied HARD and we had hours long talks about what were were doing. What started out with us being an open relationship had morphed into a Hotwifing without us knowing it... if this was a random or a rare play partner, this would be one thing. But the constant sex with the co-worker and them hanging around all the time - turned into an affair, behind my back. They even say "its not an affair!" - but they are full of shit.

This was not an Open Relationship as she thought it was, and even has told people it was. And worse, a few of her crazy friends have outed us as an OR ex-couple too, but far worse than that - they have exaggerated or out-right lies of things that we simply did not do which is very disturbing. One of them told lies to my EX-W, that I too would leave me, except they were not true.

If we were in an Open Relationship, we'd have a more balanced partner sharing. We should have done less. And the thing is, everything was a mistake caused by communication failure on HER part, more than mine. I tried to not show jealousy by letting her have fun... this was a mistake, I should have voiced my issues much stronger. Not just the anger side - but the HURT side. That I was developing issues with what we were doing.

Some of the BS her friends have made public, that are such BS is things like "He brought men to her, to have sex with" "He had Fuked many man women" on and on - total bullshit. Things that are very disturbing and out-right lies. One of them, might have been told lies by my EX. When people start an affair, they - especially women, will re-write their marital history. Where the betrayed becomes the bad guy, didn't like her that much, etc.

In truth, when we first dated - I was into open relationships and she had a 3-way relationship at an earlier point in her life, but she didn't understand the various Open Relationship types. I told her I could wait and she can decide when she ready to try OR sex. It would be years before she said "Lets play with that couple".

But I did a count. The number of we had sex with since we got together was:
ME = 3 women (Not including breast play with others - both of us)
Her = 30 people (6 of the were women. 12 of them were strictly blowjobs, leaving 12 men she had intercourse with)

Not a single one of them, I forced her to have sex with. Some, she did without me knowing and told me after the fact... but hey, we're open relationship. And the kicker is, one of the things that bugged the hell out of her all these years as she told me in one of our last talks before she was kicked out.

1 - She said she did it all for me, for love!
2 - She didn't like seeing me have sex with other women, yet one of them was a her friend hers and they had sex with each other too!
3 - But she had all the sex partners, not me.
4 - Get this, over time with these few women - I was realizing I didn't want to be with another woman.

Never during this time, did I forget to love my wife! And now she is gone, she is a shell of the woman I once was totally in love with, just a few short months ago. She is now a very bad person who has done cruel things to me.

The thing she can't see, is that everything she has done and continues to do - is that of someone who is or was in an affair. She doesn't see anything BAD with that young man. He's all perfect in every way, no flaws. He doesn't see any in her. Sorry, but breaking up your marriage over lies is pretty low.

I am very destroyed from everything that has happened. Things should have been slower and she should have spoken up earlier, or been truthful with her issues. But she wasn't and I didn't know.

I'm recovering and wanting to date other women. I have no desire to get back that dead-thing, that was once my beloved wife. But I am in grief of her being what she is - evil and ugly inside out. She has little morals and no soul. She has no sympathy for what she is doing me and our family unit or what she has done. She doesn't care.

Someday, the fog will lift from her, and she'll see what she has lost. I won't be there waiting. :(

*sob*
:confused:

Sorry
 

Sorry, buddy. I hope you don't fall to temptation and change your mind again because it'll only prolong the inevitable. I didn't hit the "Thanks" button above because I am not thankful for what you are going through but I do thank you for publishing it. :(

Time to move on
 

You've done everything you could to save your marriage. It takes two dedicated people for a relationship to work, and you are one person short.

You can either close the door and move on or drag this out for months. The end result will be the same.

This does sound like it is the end of a painful road. Get the papers served and do it quickly. And remember that while revenge is not good, the best form of revenge is your own personal success. Move on and starting looking for a new better relationship.

Good luck buddy.

No papers need to be served. But I need to make a few changes to our Orders. We are no longer married, its just child custody rights. Her drinking and drug abuse knocks her out of being a joint parent. She got a lot of issues to be worked out.

I'm still working on getting her out of my system. But - BUT because of our child and my empathy - which is a core part of my being, I want her back... I want us to restart something, maybe in the future. I don't know - I am not counting on it. She is still deep in the affair fog (i'm still in my own fog, but its barely there) which doesn't allow her to see clearly.

My brain says dump her, my heart says "I want to hold you".

hate to say it but you'll probably never get her out of your system especially with the good things that have gone between you especially the kids. I divorced almost 30 years ago and there are still times when I think back to the good things or wonder what has happened to her.
I do have to remember the tough times to balance that out!
Having said that my wife of 27 years is way better in everyway and my life as a whole has become much more positive in many, many ways.
Time, as the cliché says, is a great healer but you always have some scar tissue - it's up to you how you grow from it.

Good luck and I'm really sorry that the highs turned so low so quickly.
Rob

An update
 

Its been about 3 months since my last post. I’ll try to keep this short as I’ve got a lot on my plate.
Legally, nothing has changed – paper work for custody filed and done, she agreed to my terms months earlier and no desire to change. Her legal issue continues for another few months of her own doing.

I had started dating soon after my last post. She had continue seeing the POSOM (Piece Of Shit Other Man) since I kicked her out and she had to live with relatives. They were unhappy about what she had done/continued to do and POSOM wasn’t welcomed or not allowed in their homes, depending on who.

I continued working out, getting therapy, reading books on infidelity and other self-help books. I meet a nice woman, slightly older than my EX and started dating regularly. She’s a bit kinky, dances very well and we enjoy talking. But all things considering, we know that I am not good for a serious relationship – so I was upfront with my personal issues so nobody gets hurt. Many other women (21~40) that know me from the club scenes are upset with the situation but also want to jump my bones since I am available. So why not, right?
I do as good as I can, but I did have break downs in clubs, luckily friends supported me and helped me feel better. I reduced my drinking quite a lot because of depression and that Doc’s have put me on anti-mood-swing meds to keep me stable and reduce my anxiety attacks which we’re daily and very painful. (I never had one in my life) I’m talking about head exploding, heart trying to rip itself out of my chest painful. Instead of a typical BP of 125/90, I was hitting 150’s, sometimes I was 170~180s/110+. The pain was worse than anything else I or you can imagine, worse than breaking bones.

We started co-parenting, which SUCKS big time. Developed major issues with her having my son interact with the POSOM. We either didn’t talk much or was at each other's throats. I had arranged for us to see a Marriage consular before the shit hit the fan, so I got her to go to a few session so we could WORK on getting past our anger and communicate the for sake of our son. Ie: be on generally good terms with each other. But things got heated and she didn’t show up anymore, but I continued as the Doc switch gears to help me heal and move on.

About 6 weeks ago, while having drinks at a bar with my regular date woman “Ann” (She is cool with me having sex with other women), we are setting up plans for the next two weekend dates in which she will dress up all sexy and logistics for picking her up, etc. And we talk about other things. She then tells me “You are still in love with your ex.” For which I nod and drink. Ann has never met or knows my EX or any of our social circles.

Next night, my EX calls up and asks for us to go bowling and talk about serious stuff. I said sure, grabbed my ball and I’m on a 40+ min drive to pick her up. We bowl, but don’t talk about our SNAFU or any drama. Just eat, light chit-chat and had fun. I drop her off at her home (she lives with her family) and head back. I start crying by the time I get to the end of her street before getting onto the HWY. Yeah, I want her back.

Two days later, after I leave a session, my EX calls me… asks me if I saw her FB PM she sent, I said now. As local concerts with our favorite bands are coming up and I hate the idea of HER going without me so I figured it was about that. She texted “Can we talk and work things out?” We go to voice and talk and cry. She has been doing her own research about relationships and is seeing her flawed logic in breaking us up. I immediately cancel my drive towards the gym and we go out for dinner and talk seriously. We both admit that we wanted to hug and kiss each other at the bowling alley. We go over serious points and decide to go out on a first date on Friday – which we do, and had a great time, neither of us drinks.

The “ex” says she wants to go to therapy with me, which she does. We both get a lot of issues knocked out. Yeah, we both have flaws – but she badly chose to cheat and throw everything away. I also tell her that its not fair for me to cancel my dates with Ann and my EX agrees. My Ex texts the POSOM (with me sitting next to her – and he calls back) that she is dumping him. She then deletes photos off her phone, FB and anything connected to him.
My dates with Ann are non-sexual, I gave her the heads up and she is supportive. I introduce her to my social circles as she knows nobody, and they like her. So she can meet and date guys and have fun with people who she now knows. She is now, only a friend. No sex, no dating.

Our son has suffered her being gone and the bad energy between us. But he’s doing better with us together.

I’ve told her, this is more than just my needs, its about the three of us. We continue to self help, go to therapy meetings together and with different ICs for our individual needs. We read, we talk more openly now than ever before. I do want my “wife” to be back as a family unit. The OLD relationship is *DEAD*, so we’re technically “BF/GF” and will refer to her as GF, rather than EX or Wife. I’m still healing and doing quite well, Doc feels we are making great progress, but its going to be a tough road for us. After-all, each time she lied /ran-off to see the POSOM – it caused more and more severe damage to each other. I hope we work out, I do love her. I don’t want to co-parent. Together we are better parents and our son will be happier. And she has been sober for 4 months, yea!

My dick works great for my GF, the issues I had before were not related to her being bad or anything, it was a personal issue that took a while for my body & brain to work out. She had thought I lost sexual interests.

Oh, we’re a mono couple. Will we do kinky things and go to parties? YES! Soon? NO! Its something we both can’t handle for obvious reasons. We’ll just be doing kinky stuff with each other, even if its public. :)

I do love her. And being with her, feels good. I really hope we get past 12 months, then 5 years, then beyond.

I will leave this thread up to help others and do updates if needed. I may start new threads of new adventures, if its exciting and she is cool about it.

Been a long time
 

Yes, it's been a long time since my last post... so here is the update:

I and my ex went to couples therapy, we rekindled... we were a mono couple. I proposed to her before 2017, she accepted. Sometime around Spring of 2017, she made contact with the affair partner, kid. I caught her. We started therapy again and on her dime.

She would at times push for us to open our relationship. She cheated and had sex with the guy, in our home while I was at work a few times. Caught them. But she promised again, to work on us.

She then started a relationship behind my back with her "best friend" - the one who lived with us for a while and gone to sex venues together. Nevermind that he told me/us that he didn't want the drama of having a girlfriend and text AND told me that he wouldn't want to be in the kind of mess he saw me and my fiancee with the young guy in the past... this dumbshit decided he's in love with my fiancee (and her to him) and stuck in dick into my family.

Needless to say, she is no longer my fiancee. When I confirmed and confronted her about the cheating, sex and other crap behind my back... she decided to the jig was up, end our relationship and move in with her "friend".

Things turned into more shit. I've been assaulted by her again, police and courts are involved. Child custody, etc. And after a few months, apparently, he has thrown her out of his house. So what did she win?

She never took the time and respect the concept of a couple who love each other to have proper communications to have any sort of open relationship. Turns out she had worse mental problems and drug abuse addictions she was also hiding from me.

She is an EX. I loved her very much and wish she loved me, respected our relationship TO each other, wasn't a liar or a cheater. I miss her dearly, the one woman I have loved so much in my life.

I have many friends who are poly, swinging and etc. I am not against the lifestyle... but it's important that the couple does communicate and are honest with each other. Cheating *IS* cheating, being monogamous or not, it makes no difference. Being mono, doesn't keep anyone from cheating.

I have not been here for a long time. I wish I had better news and stories to tell you... I am heartbroken for our loss. She lost as well, for all the wrong reasons.

I still hope this thread is helpful to others, that IF you don't share completely with each other - there will be problems.

Welcome back!
 

Wow! It sure has been a while. I'm glad you're back but I wish it was with better news. Sorry to hear about your continued problems. I too, have decided to open up my marriage, but unlike your wife, my wife realizes that complete honesty and open clarity are a must.

My wife has been talking with and occasionally fucking a "boyfriend" that she met through OCC and I know and approve of each time they have gotten together. In fact, whenever possible, I have been a willing participant (which is awesome). Because of recent family issues and my horrendous work schedule, I believe they will be getting together alot without me and I won't deny either of them the opportunity to meet. However, I am certain that I will know about their plans beforehand, and will enjoy their stories soon afterwards!
It also helps that I know and genuinely like the guy. He has become a good friend of mine.

Please don't be a stranger here and again, welcome back!

Mr. Nectcouple