You still busted a nut thou, eh? Its not like she had a bag over her head the whole time until the swap night... :eek:

If you have a couple in which both or sexless or lame-fucks... then sure.

As he stated, since their honeymoon... they had intercourse 4 times in 5 years.. if you would call it "sex" - whatever it was - it sure wasn't "MAKING LOVE". She did the bait and switch... okay, we're married - time to lock up the pussy.

I'd divorce such a b*tch within weeks of that game. I wouldn't bother trying to recover that marriage - in case she fakes it for a year or so... then slowly starts NOT having sex, then a divorce becomes messy, money issues, etc.

I'd say in the past 12 hours, while we did not have any sex today... I've grab or felt her butt at least 6~8 times in public and at home. I even bit a cheek. At least 3 times, I've given her hugs from behind -wrapping my rams around her ribs and cupping her breasts.

heheh... ModelT... I think you're showing off! :cool:

You are right. the ongoing frustration builds up, destroying everything in the relation, as it is doing in ours art the moment.

The least we need is ModelT with his showing off his good marriage!

I find your avatar... odd... naaktstel.

The woman in it constantly reminds me of two different exes... (meet both when 20yrs old yet 7yrs apart)
hair and eyes is one girl, the nose and below, another. :D

One dead fish lay.....
 

This happened in the mid 80's when I was still in college... I lived in an apartment complex near school and we had a 7-11 near us. I used to frequent the store for beverages all the time and soon became good friends with Michelle the 2nd shift cashier. Michelle was average in looks and she was a little pudgy bodywise. Her boobs were on the smallish size also. But none the less, she was nice and we ended up always chatting for a while when I went in.
Well, she finally got the nerve to ask me out since I was clueless about her feelings. So, we ended up going out a few times. Nothing serious but we had fun times.
Then one night she got invited to a big drinking party and she invited me along, we got there late because she had to finish her shift off and by the time we got there, there were people passed out all over the place. I also seen others engaged in make out or some type of sexual activities.
Well, we started to drink and talk and drink some more and soon we were making out on the floor and rolling around and touching and what not.
Well, soon she was sucking my pecker and for some reason, (the alcohol I believe) I wasn't going to pop my load. So, I started to strip her of her clothes and started making out with her more and finally moved in between her legs and put the head of my cock in her slit and pushed forward and slid right in because she was so wet. Well, that was about the best of it right there. She became unresponsive after that. Just laid there like a dead fish. No life in this fuck whatsoever. I was determined to unload my load in her and pumped her good for at least 15 minutes before I came inside her. Still no response from her.... she just laid there.

Well, we continued to go out for a while longer, but with no further activity. We remained friends as I seen her at the store all the time and we never talked about fucking ever again.

She was the worst lay that I had ever had for sure....

I really don't get why some women do Dead Fish Syndrome... Do they know they suck at it? Do they think that *its a turn on* to lie there.

Wonder if any of them ever ask a friend or whoever "Everytime I have sex for the first time with a guy, its the last- why?"

You ever think that it may be their peculiarly bad way of saying, "NO!"

Considering that many people who reported (shared) stories of dead-fish women, are dating them or things were HOT up until the point that they actually started having sex.

I usually got bored with most women after a few times... its just sex, or a one righter... make the best of it.

But yeah, some people simple SUCK at sex. Then above that is sexual compatibility. I've talked to many a women who say their ex-husbands or whatever was a 3min fuck, then roll over. Little to know foreplay.

I've had a few that were ugh in the sack, I tried a few times to teach the art of love-making - but in general, if she (or anyone for that matter) cannot learn or not interested in learning sexuality, sensual, etc... they may never. I've had a 24yr old woman grab my penis gave a few pumps as if it would bite her, and thats it - stick it in her.

I'd say one of the biggest sellers of my wife, the first time we meet and had sex for what was likely to be a one-nighter - was excellent sexual compatibility. We still talked and looking for ways to add more, etc... but overall - we're not teaching each other how to do things.

I've had some excellent lovers in the past, very exciting clothe ripping hot sweaty mess sex. My woman thou, is the best for me.

Why wouldn't he be serious? for a while there, I thought he was talking about my wife.

girlfriends
 

I've had a few.

A girlfriend, who when I came in her mouth, spit it out like it was a rotten egg. She came out later as a Lezzy.

I fucked my editor boss in college. For birth control she stuffed her pussy with some kind of foaming, anti-sperm agent. Smelled and burned. She was also a horrible lay.

Dead fish are the worse. Had two that didn't make a single sound or movement of any kind. Much less exciting than masturbating. I've been with several multiple orgasming women; that's the gold standard.

college
 

There was a very good looking girl like that at my college. Everybody tried to fuck her, but nobody could. Word got out...

It wasn't one particular time, but at one point I got bored of sex because of the variety and regularity. The variety only highlighted that many girls weren't all that different. I was just going through the motions in the end and it all blurred together. I would instantly regret it once I got their kit off and realised I actually had to do something! haha.

But in saying that, I enjoyed nearly all my encounters on reflection and wouldn't change them. We nearly always had fun in the lead up or at dinner or out for drinks etc. It wasn't just sex.

I had to go through that though to get to the lasses who were incredible and did want to try something different or had a real spark to them. That made it worth it.

I can relate to that
 

right now with my wife it seems the variety or lack there of has become the issue. the spark seems to be gone and can't quite put my finger on how to reignite the desire. not the worst sex ever but becoming boring sex.

Put your thumb in her ass, Rick.
 

Tell her how you want her to see how many cocks she can take at once... pretend you're drunk or something, that way you could always recant if you are that concerned with maintaining the status quo. If you never say anything, how will she know?

funny thing is
 

I've told her when sober. I want her to take on another cock or two but still no dice.

My first wife as a real cold fish. We went to a very puritanical church related school, so despite some playing around including fingering and me eating her pussy, we 'saved it for marriage'. She was a nice lady, and seemingly liked the foreplay, and got nice and wet, although she never would suck my cock. But once I put my dick in, it pushed the 'off' button. Too bad, she was a nice lady, and was pretty nice to look at, but just found sex uninteresting. The only good news is that in response to hearing 'are you done yet?' enough times, I became very slow at cumming. I thought I must be the worlds worst fucker.
The first lady I dated, only a month or so after moving out, was a multi-orgasmic screamer (the EXACT opposite of the first wife), and with me being a guy who took a long time to cum, it worked out well. With her there was nothing I could have done NOT to have her have multiple orgasms.......well, we never got into any really kinky and disgusting stuff.....but every thing else we did (including anal) seemed to push the 'cum now' button.
Should have married that girl, alas she was the 'one who got away'.

Take her out for an evening to a show or dinner and hotel afterwards. If you havnt noticed a lot of pics on here are taken in hotels

The worst
 

The worst I had was also with my wife. During the 3 weeks we spent in a suite with her fucking about 40 different guys almost constantly (10-12 hours a day) was when my worst sex happened. As we were packing up to go home I felt the urge to play with her myself. I got a BJ which was phenomenal by the way but she got on her hands and knees in the floor of the bedroom in our suite and told me to fuck her good one last time on our trip. Now im not a big guy but once I stuck it in her pussy she felt very well used and worn out. I lasted about 2 minutes of barely feeling anything before eventually i just had her finish by sucking me off. Sex is rare these days but I get off by watching other people fuck her.

Worst I had was my best female friend. We'd been friends since the age of 7 and never had so much of a kiss until we were mid-20s. We had a drunken afternoon that turned into a drunken evening back at mine. I got changed in front of her for a dare, she showed me her boobs, one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. It was totally weird and not exciting. I'm not sure I even got fully hard, but strangely came really quickly but tried to carry on and get her to finish. We were totally out of rhythm and there was zero connection. No words spoken during or after, never been mentioned since. Was very awkward and not fun....

She DID give me a handjob on the way back from a night out a few years later. THAT was good :D

99% of sex is in your own mind. If you aren't into it then the other person isn't to blame and will probably pick up on it anyway.

I don't think looks come into it either - the ugliest people can turn out to be the sexiest for no apparent reason other than their commitment to the act ;-)

(from a ways back in the thread)Unfortunately, I can, as it was me. I'd just been on the road for well over 24 hours and was staying overnight at my fiance's house. She snuck into the room (her parents bedroom was directly overhead) and we quickly wound up with her on top, rocking away. I had a hard time staying awake, even though I had no trouble staying hard. It was good, but with me already laying on my back, dog tired, it was hard not for me to keep dozing off. I'd have changed the position, but I was too darned tired!

Except for the time when her former aide died (my post of 3 years back), we never had bad sex. She was always ready to go and often took the lead. It always took her a long time to orgasm, so our routine was for me to use a vibrator on her, then we'd have intercourse. As she never had kids, her vagina stayed snug and was always a great fuck. But, after menopause, she's dried up and her vaginal tissue has gotten thin (so her delightful snugness now works against us).

We used a lot of lube, but she'd wind up bleeding after every session (can't even finger her without causing her pain). At the same time, I had prostate surgery, so now I only ejaculate a small amount of urine (if anything). Besides, there was nerve damage, so my orgasms are rarely more than mildly 'interesting':(. Net result is that a hand job is all I can expect. Didn't think my sex life would be over before I reached 65 (she's nearly 70), but it pretty much is. So, the 'worst' is now normal for us.

F

This was a weird one. I got together with a woman I worked with. We got naked in a woods and explored each others bodies. For some reason I didn't want to fuck her as her c*nt wasn't attractive to me - she had red c*nt hairs and "innie" lips - the type with the inner lips hidden by the outer lips. As I like dark haired c*nt with pouty inner lips, hers just didn't do it for me. I sucked it and it didn't even taste good - nothing like my wife's normal tasting c*nt with its awesome black trimmed hairyness.
So we felt each other all over, exploring each other's bodies and she finished up giving me a BJ and I came in her mouth. I tried kissing her but she wasn't interested and it was like kissing a parrot.
We got together a few time after that but it was just for a feel-athon and a BJ to finish. She always swallowed my come. She had nice feeling tits and her c*nt felt good inside to my probing fingers. I never did fuck her and I don't regret it.

I guess I'm inexperienced. What's kissing a parrot like?

I wantto be
 

With every woman who I had sex with that was only doing it to get me to marry them..... you can always tell who they are if you are the type of guy who CAN get laid..


They think their tits will woooo you.... they doo what they HAVE to do, and they have been doing it for a long time like that w/ those who easily surcum to mechanical sex,,, because it is sex...


BORRRRRRRRRING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


NOTHING BEATS A REAL FUN GIRL WHO HAS NO ALTERIOR MOTIVE.

Worst
 

Had an ex who had times she just...layed there or even on top she wasn't that enthusiastic. Well she was riding me reverse cowgirl one day, her idea for sex, her choice if position. But she was so unenthusiastic that my mind started wandering...and I fell asleep. Woke up after about a 20 minute nap...she was still going through the motions so I faked getting off. Two sexless weeks later we were done.

My worst sex...
 

I still remember... It was about 2 weeks after my boss took advantage of my wife at his beach cabin. She was 24 years old and boss was 61 years old. She did not let me touch her first week as she blamed on me a bit for what happened as I sort of let it happen by leaving them at cabin.

So about 2 weeks later I let her drink to have sex... I was still young and because of the excitment I only lasted less than a minute.

Then she told me no worry... and said 61 years old boss lasted about 2 hours....

A few month later she finally confessed she never had orgasm with me... and boss was the first men who gave her very first and following multiple orgasms...

Boss had my wife as his sex toy for 3 years... then recently I found out they had occasional sex for last 20 years behind me..

Thinking back I realized my first time (age 15 or 16) with a girl about 16 - Humped away pulled out - GOT CRABS!!!

So true. I was the third to a hotwife couple for several years. The wife was wonderfully attractive with a very nice body, and loved sex. In bed she was enthusiastic, came easily and several times, was very skilled and just enjoyed herself tremendously. All in all, she was as good as any woman I'd ever been with. Really fun.

That went on for quite a while and she developed an emotional connection with me that made it even better . . . until her husband started to get jealous. He began telling her to dial it back, and being the obedient woman she was, did exactly that. Over the next year she gradually cooled down to the point where she'd simply lay there, dead fish, with her head turned to the side and her eyes closed. I did her a couple of final times that way, then thought, "fuck this. She's become exactly no fun whatsoever." So I ended it. Made her husband six kinds of pissed off. Accused me of "throwing my wife away like a cheap prostitue." <eyeroll>

Pretty much. For a couple of years I knew a true redhead, multi-orgasmic, yelping, panting, screamer who appeared to nearly pass out every time she came (which was every couple of minutes), and who would leave a dinner plate-sized wet spot on the bed after a good session. That was 25 years ago and I still think about her from time to time.

Don't you just love multi orgasmic screamers......they are the best there is

Unless it's mutually agreed breakup sex, I tend to find that the worst sex I have is generally towards the end of a relationship.

Everything is boring and so predictable, there also appears to be a new lack of connectivity and lack of passion between the two parties.

Occasionally this change in mood manifests into a hate fuck (you really dint want to go here) You just turn the light off and mechanically thrust into a hole. No touching of tits, no kissing, no foreplay you just want to discharge your load in something tight and moist and then fall asleep . No thought about the other party, all that's running through your mind is the image of the babe you saw at the pool/beach/gym last week and who is definitely way out of your league.

Hate fucks are not great and just do your head in. If you fall into these sessions , it is really time to move on and find someone you can connect with once again.

If it's become a chore to do the bedroom olympics or worse if your partner makes you feel like it's some big treat that you're invited to the annual switching on of the Christmas lights .....

Then it's time to move on.

With marriage out of the way, kids all grown up and a place of my own It's easy for me. It may not be for others.

I'm happy with a partner that I can make out with on a regular basis. If the frequency is not to my liking, I find someone else (or cheat)

Life is too short to be stuck in a relationship with just occasional and mediocre sex.

So each relationship has its share if 'bad sex' associated with it at some point.

If I was to give you some specifics then here are a few examples which were 'bad' in their own ways.



V8 was good in bed, a petite frame, had a tight pussy and an interesting Brazilian pubic cut when it wasn't fashionable.. However the moment I had cum inside her she would tell me to get out of the bed, get dressed and go home. No matter what the weather or how drunk / tired we were I had to leave. There was no second wild fucks in the middle of the night or romantic embraces and hugs in the morning which build a relationship .

Yes it was sex but very odd. I asked here one day what was wrong and she said she had been abused when younger and couldn't let any men get close to her.

She was a nice lady and if was a shame she wouldn't let any one get close to help her. She was very insecure.

More on her


N20 had a body to die for but I had to be invited over to her side of the bed to enjoy it with foreplay before we had to roll back to my side so that I could ejaculate. Bottom line she didn't like cum in the slightest, I would say she hated the stuff. It would get to the point where she even hit me on one occasion when some touched her milky white skin. The more she shunned my cum the more of a challenge it was for me to think of ways to cover her in it .

An example of her loathing of cum



S23 liked to keep her lady bits in good shape. A surgeon had given her a really tight pussy post a hysterectomy operation and she she even shaved it bald for me.

All sounds to be good to be true. Well there was a dark side to her love slot in that she would powder it each night with talcum powder. It would make a mess on the bathroom floor and was a pain to clear up, peppered remnants of that white powder looked awful on her arse and worst of all was the taste that just dried your mouth if you went down on her.

We had good sex but it got predictable as I had seen her full range of sexy knickers (just three pairs all the same style but different colours) inside three weeks of a four month relationship. Furthermore she was a little reluctant for me to put my full length into her tiny slot and would only wish to take the first part of my member inside her. Basically I was way too big for her and our final few sessions were ones where I would experiment on positions to see how much length was enough for her and then how much was too much. (I suppose it was kind of a 'hate fuck'?)

The bad sex (for her) was that I was just too big!

Now how many people can say that a humble 8 inch cock is just too big? It makes me want to do a threesome with a horny chick and a black dude just to make me feel bad and inadequate.

More on S23 here

Drunken Cougar.
 

Early twenties, just out of college. I started dating a lady in her mid 30s. Which, at least to me at 23 was unimaginably old, but hey, she was good looking, smart, and interested in me. She was sophisticated, had done more than one tour in the army and was a lawyer. We hadn't done more than make out, when one night at a bar she got plastered drunk. Way too drunk for me to consider screwing around with. Plus, did I mention she was a criminal lawyer? My non-drinking buddy drove her and me in my car to her place to drop her off. I got her inside and she started trying to get me to stay. I explained we were all in my car- where would my buddy stay? She said she'd fuck him too, and started in on wanting a threesome. She started threatening to scream if I didn't stay with her - plus laid on a guilt trip that I had been 'leading her on' if I didn't stay. So I agreed we'd all drive back to my place, my friend could walk the 3 blocks to his house, and she could stay at my place.

One at my apartment it was a chore getting her from the car to the stairs. I went back outside and thanked my friend and apologized for all this. When I got back inside, there she was on the stair landing with her pants and panties down to mid-thigh, asking me do do her there, and kind of whining about it. Worrying about the other apartments in the building, I got her to my apartment and to my couch.

Cussing under my breath I went to brush teeth, get some water in me and go to bed. When I got to bed, there she was naked, spread out. And, being a dumb youth of 23, I was kind of grossed out by the the less-than Playboy model perfection of a 35 year old woman who's had a couple of kids (but was still in great shape looking back at it, her boobs were just saggy. I know better now.) So, I was very unenthusiastic. She was drunk, I wanted no part of it, but I gave up.

I got in bed and she was all over me. I couldn't even get it up I was so unattractied to her, and she got mad. Finally we got it in and somewhere in there she passed out on top of me. Worst ever.

The next morning she acted like nothing was wrong and was all chipper like we were one level higher in our relationship and refused to believe half of what I said happened. A few days later she accused me of cheating on her because I didn't call her all day and then she was out of my life. Yay.

I've read more of the thread and have a few more thoughts I wish to add.

To me it looks like 'bad sex' falls into two categories.

1 A small amount fall into the fate of "unfortunate circumstances" such as the dude who got the phone call saying the chicks brother had died. That's a real bummer.

2 But most of them are down to expectations not been met. This might be due to lack of experience, naivety, too much to drink or poor technique. Sex is a two way thing and something for the two (or more ) of you to enjoy together.

For the latter we have to learn from the bad and converted it to a good one or just move on......

Firstly a situation where fate played a hand. R24 is not a breeder and so for a middle aged woman her slot is still tight. Her womb is small and snug but fortunately for me , my large size (8 inches) can just about fit inside all be it I have to gentle easy in the last few inches in certain positions so that I don't nudge the top wall of the womb too hard.

On the face of it the sex is great, she climaxes whilst I'm in her and her cervix spasms around my hard cock so that we lock in place. She also gives very visible and vocal signs that I'm doing the right thing.

So "what's the problem?" you might ask? Well I know when I've reached the top of her womb as there is a little resistance and increased pressure on the head of my knob. It's a good pain that is endurable. However there was this one time when she is dipping up and down on me close to her climax when I suddenly got a severe stabbing sensation on the very tip of my shaft. It was a real sharp pain but I couldn't withdraw as she was on top of me and we had now locked and she was spasming violently around my trapped tool which was now been repeatedly been stabbed at its most sensitive area.

I didn't scream in agony but just winched and took this on the chin as a new experience before she rolled off me with satisfaction and I was finally released from the bonds of her tight love channel.
I looked at my todger to see that it was bright purple in one position and bruised. It remained very tender for several days after.

R24 was quiet chilled out by it all and had seen it before. Apparently I had hit her contraceptive coil that rested right at the very top of her womb and I had cut myself. She complimented me that only a really BIG dick could reach that far up her and be injured in such a manner . She also said that I took it like a man unlike another who cried out in pain and never had sex with her again.

It was unexpected and perhaps at the time could be rated as "poor" sex but I would endure it again to again validate my cock's good stature.

As an aside I would love to give her anal, but given my size she says she would need "a tub of lube and need to be very drunk"

Now some more stories of how my expectations weren't meant and how I dealt with them.

The longest relationship I had was with my my ex wife M14 . Sex would become mundane and predictable. An example of this would be half way through a session she would shout "doggy" and that was how session would often finish. This was the case for around 5 years. DULL! DULL! DULL!

I don't recall her ever having visible signs of an orgasm. She may have but I was at that stage in my sexual career where I didn't really care , I just wanted to get my rocks off. It wasn't really 'bad sex' just average and routine for far too long.

We stayed together for the sake of the kids but may be for too long.

On some levels I'm in awe of folks who stay married for many many years together, but then I think 'how good is the sex?'. I manage 13 years of 'the ball and chain' and to be honest divorce was sexual liberation for me.

There appear to be many "Dead fish syndrome" stories or "Reading in bed". Well we are all different and need slightly different stimuli to get off. I've certainly been given a really poor BJ before. Perhaps my mind was on an issue at work or the woman R22 was just plainly not my cuppa tea and didn't like my preference of swallowing, (her minge was also always sweaty and stunk too) Anyway I started looking at the ceiling and actually thought it needed painting!

Now I've actually fucked my ex wife whilst she was reading the Sunday papers. It had happened on a previous weekend so I just took advantage of a known situation.
When I got horny I mounted her and said that the broadsheet was too large and got in my way. It would be more practical if she had a glossy supplement. So I handed her one I'd selected specifically. It was a fashion one that she really got into whilst I did my business. What probably didn't dawn on her was that the cover (which faced me) was adorned with a very thin and sexy Kate Moss in a small bikini.
That morning I was fucking a super model not a flabby wife and hard working mum
Bad sex is what YOU make of it.


As for when a lady passes out or breaths all funny. Dont worry, you have done a good job. Sex is like learning a new language, just because you haven't seen something before, it may not be a bad thing.
Pat yourself on the back and remember the weird things that your partner's body undergoes when they finally orgasm. If they DON'T do them again then you know it's bad! These days if my partner (not me) doesn't orgasm at least once, it's a bad session and I've failed as a lover!

Counting or reciting the alphabet. Remember it's a marathon not a sprint! Perhaps the partner is using techniques to prolong the making love?
Certainly I used to run through my mind the major sports teams in the top division . The reason was that if I hadn't seen J18 for X days. I had to grant her X orgasms before I was to get inside her and cum myself . As each orgasm was achieved an item of clothing would then be taken off her. ( yes I could make her climax just by kissing her on the train coming home so rubbing her crotch whilst she was in her jeans was possible with my technique)
Finally she would be naked and I would cum copiously inside her very wet pussy on her X climax.

Now this method works for me up to 5/6 , but then I would want to discharge my weapon, basically the animal in me gets control of my body. That said I've repeated my system to gift her 24 orgasms in 24 hours. (honestly she couldn't walk comfortably for days afterwards)

Sex is as much about a state of mind as the physical aspects and to have "good sex" is a joint responsibility.

The bottom line is that if it's crud and you're not satisfied. It's time to move on and find you soul mate.

Was dating a girl whose handjob made it feel like she was trying to rip my dick from my body. It was early on and she clearly didn't know and I was just happy to have a girl with her hand down my pants. I did my best to tolerate it for as long as I could, again girl touching me, but it got so excruciating I had to get her to stop. It was just a disaster.

Gotta say...there's no bad sex. If it's in, and it spits, it's fine. In ALL circumstances.

Thee worst I had...
 

I was seeing this girl, we’ll call her K, for maybe all of 4weeks before I just had to stop and move on.

K had a great smile, curly hair, stood about 5’3, SUPER curvy with one of the biggest butt’s and hugest natural breasts I have ever seen on a lady-and some of you know many of these shorter ladies have huge butt’s. Built to a size to be able to twirl around and carry :)

The first night K and I hooked up it was probably the funnest and best she could offer. I drove us home from a night out and she got topless in the car in a dare and blew me on the drive to her house. Once at her place, I really felt a woman with those curves would know how to move but I felt I had to direct the performance waaaaay too much. It wasn’t a matter of the “first time jitters” or her being shy either. She climbed on top and legit just bounced up in down in the most awkward ride I had even had. I several times had to instruct her to move her hips into it or grind etc etc. It was like a damn pogo stick I tell ya! I had to legit roll and toss her around to my liking.

We discussed it immediately the next day or two about her experience. It wasn’t that I was her first or second experience either, which I could understand if she was near a virgin. So I was boggled by her performance. We had sex the next few times sober and the stiffness in her never got loose.

We went at it a few more times over the next few weeks. K did tend to drink a lot and be pretty drunk by the end of each night. She was a monster a making out and the hot and heavy getting into it aspect. She was becoming a master at the good old two hand stroke and suck technique and even loved being tit fucked to completion and cummed on(because there was no effort on her end). But once it came time to have sex, it was dead fishing season.

The last two times we had sex, she was drunk-and I felt would loosen up a bit. But NOPE, she would be so drunk to the point of her slowly nodding off to sleep. So I would then attempt to wake her up and she would be zonked out. I’m sure some would still pump away, but I would be so over this girl that I would just grab my things and leave haha.

That killed it for me.
I’m sure I could have kept what I felt like was “training her”. But the lack of effort and drunkeness was too much to deal with.

Months later I did hook up with her friend. In my car, her place, at a party and once in a hotel. She was pretty amazing and she told me that the word on the street about K was that she is terrible in bed. SO IT WAS KNOWN! Hearing that was some relief and a bit sad :/

I still see K now and again to this day. I am ALWAYS in awe of her frame, smile, hair and curves, but I will always think of how bad she is in bed.

Photo attached she sent a few days after some rough boob play :)

I was about to have sex with this woman, when I took my pants off she started screaming. Of course she didn't know we were about to have sex.

Lol
 

Funny stuff!

piecenick
 

Better screaming than falling down laughing. :o

Oh shit!
 

LMFAO! :D

That's an excellent point about masturbation. Any suggestions how to cure a Dead fish?
:(

In my single-in-my-50s years, I discovered that a week of flirting online with a woman in her 40s/50s was generally enough to get her into my bed.

One lady was incredibly enthusiastic online, very flirty, lots of sex talk, can’t wait for Friday. She said she lived with her mother, sister and daughter, and sister could be abusive, so we agreed I’d drive to hers, pick her up, drive back to mine. I did this, although driving into and out of London was a pain.

Once back at mine we sat on the sofa and started drinking wine. Then she said her phone was ringing, went out of the room, came back five minutes later “it’s all kicked off at home, I have to go”. I was convinced there hadn’t been a phone call and she had cold feet. (Yes, she’s entitled to, but I prefer not to be lied to.) Ever the gentleman, I said I’d drive her home, no hard feelings. (See what I did there?)

So the worst sex was no sex, although I might have escaped easily from a woman with too many issues to be tangled up with.

But the best thing was as we drove away from my house, before we got to the end of the street, my car had a puncture. So she had to get a taxi, which she whined about a bit, as she “worked freelance” and had very little money. But I didn’t offer to pay for it. Bye then.