Oh man...the first two pictures in this thread (newspaper ads for the cafe) bring back memories. I can confirm that they are from The Onion, and I even remember picking up my copy in the Billy Goat Tavern on lower Wacker. I grabbed the paper because I had heard it had hilarious satire, but I kept it around for a while because of those two ads. This was before I had a fast connection to the internet and was still sneaking peeks at my dad's National Geographics (not just the tribal women, I also remember an issue that had french protesters with body paint that I looked at quite a bit).