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Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
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Learn to masturbate. It comes in handy.
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A Rubix cube is like a penis. The longer you play with it, the harder it gets.
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Pick-up Line: How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
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Mix Viagra and Prozac and you have a guy who is ready to go, but doesn't really care where.
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What is "68"? You do me and I owe you one.
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It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honor," testified the man charged with indecent exposure. "You see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman -- so I showed her."
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A young boy asked his mother, "Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?" "Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?" replied his mother. The young boy answered, "The other day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he screwed the ass off his secretary."
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Flag day
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Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a rise.
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Flag day
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A kiss on the lips is just shopping upstairs for downstairs merchandise.
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