Awww...Come on, Black Eagle!
 

You aren't ruining anything. We like your pictures. There's no need to be so sensitive. This is, after all a humor thread. I laugh at myself all the time when I get things wrong when speaking a second language...and I was merely pointing out that sometimes reading those mistakes can be funny too. Come on back, Black Eagle!

One Afternoon Early In The Morning.
 

Has this ever happened to you?

1.Your so wasted you've been sucking on the bedpost for five minutes before you realize it's not your husband?

2.Knowing her Mother-In-Law liked her zucchini warm. Brenda came up with a novel way of doing it.

3.Cindy came up with a unique was of letting her parents know she was a lesbian.

4.After seeing the picture Brenda had sent to him.Her Gynecologist texted back that everything looked normal to him.

5.Tina had to admit it.This was the most intense orgasm she'd ever given herself.

Hump Day Humor
 

1. "Happy birthday, Darling...I got you a present...here...let me get it." (My idea of a nice gift.)
2. This guy was circumcised. She sucked so hard all the skin just...uh...ouch!
3. Gotta love a gal who likes to play with your cock...kinda sorta.
4. Funny how Romulan Ale is illegal... but Captain Kirk always seems to have some for special occasions.

That's Life
 

It's what all the people say.

1.'Yeah,Ray. I know it's had to believe six months ago I was a nun.'

2.As a father, Bill liked to give his daughter some wide latitude. But even he had a problem with her dance squad pictures.

3.Knowing her parents would be pissed at her low grade in Chemistry. Selena decided to 'turn on the charm' with her Professor.

4.When she woke up the following morning.Kelly finally had to admit she had a drinking problem.

Humpty Dumoty Hump Day Humor...I hope it cracks you up.
 

1. The Captain warned us these waters would be occupied by very aggressive Sirens...
2. "We're Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Piss Pott Band...we hope you will enjoy the show...Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Piss Pott Band...sit back and let the urine flow."
3. "Bras? I don't need no stinkin' bras...these babies stand up all by themselves!" (Pride comes just before a fall...or a sag.)
4. When the lights went on she discovered she wasn't sucking off her boyfriend after all. ( Father Murphy was a very sneaky soul.)
5. "Yes, Dear...just as soon as your father finishes his business I'll make breakfast." ( If this is part of YOUR childhood memories...no wonder you're kinda screwed up)
6. If Bill Clinton came back here as "First Dude" do you think he could resist?
7. Jeff may be blind...but his sense of smell is very keen.
8. "Jenny...I gotta call you back. Something just came up." (Yeah...that's lazy caption writing...but tough shit.)
9. At least old Smokey died happy.
10. I saw this pic and immediately wondered if Rodney Dangerfield had a daughter...(He still gets no respect.)

It's OK.
Fox it just trying to be funny. But the funny part is not coming across in Google Translate. You are with friends here.

I'd like to meet her ......
 

i'd like to meet her..... she could keep me going all night with them funny faces

12:03 in the afternoon
 

At any particular moment.Many things are happening.

1.'Ok,I'll tell you. I'm operating my own voyeur-porn website.Did you really think I was making this much money working as a secretary?'

2.'No.Honey.This isn't a costume. I'm actually working as a hooker.'

3.'I don't think you Dad's gonna buy the idea we came up here to study.'

4.'Yes,Mam.I get the idea.You want extra cream for your coffee.'

Summer yeahhh

TV Shows We'd Like To See
 

A sampling of the new fall line-up. We wish..

Saturday Funnies
 

1. With his risiduals from his work in "The Wizard of Oz," Toto retired to Maui where he lives with a hot MILF named Nancy.
2. The NFL is dropping coin tosses for the 2016 season. Here, officials in Florida practice their skills at the replacement... "Chick Flipping."
3. It's damned hard to suck your own breast when you're a 34B.
4. Too much time spent online looking at this thread...
5. When you come home unexpectedly all sorts of interesting moments can be your's.
6. So what the hell is there to do in Wisconsin in winter if you're not a Packer fan?
7. Does semen really work as sunscreen? Probably not, but he's got her convinced.
8. What a "facial" means everywhere other than the world of Internet porn.
9. Oh, bite the big one.
10. James Bond lubes his trigger finger.

Saturday Funnies
 

1."Uh...when your mixed doubles partner asked you to kiss his balls...I don't think that's what he meant."
2.When the contractor and his partner finished rebuilding her garage, Martha thought she'd express her thanks for a job well done.
3. Some guys are pretty enthusiastic about cunnilingus.
4. "Yeah, so I just got some new jeans...ten percent off!" (Looks like it)
5. Trying to relive The Sound Of Music.
6. Doing a better job of it. (She even has the Julie Andrews hairdo)
7. Lesbians are confusing to some labs.
8. The odd one out at the Saturday night orgy is more focused on that roast in the oven.
9. Looks like every swinging dick in Massachusetts wants to run in the Boston Marathon since it went all nude.
10. Betty wanted to "brush up" on her self abuse technique.

Bad Decisions
 

Everyone has made them.

1.On hindsight.Terri's father should have been highly suspicious of the prom picture his daughter had taken.

2.On hindsight. Yolanda decided that doing her 'King Tut' imitation for her Egyptian BF probably wasn't a good idea.

3.On hindsight. Dr. Mather's decided it probably wasn't a good idea to date a woman who was so ditzy she wanted him to do a prostate exam on her.

4.On hindsight. Linda decided that surprising her new BF in front of his wife probably wasn't a good idea.

5.On hindsight. Robert was beginning to question his new wife's intentions about having his ex-wife live with them.

Safety First
 

It's always best to be careful.

1.Always look both ways before crossing the street.

2.Never pick up hitchhikers.

3.Be sure and wear warm clothing when exposed to cold weather.

4.It's always good to lock your bedroom door if you want privacy.

5.When performing delicate medical procedures.It's a good idea to try to distract the patient from what your doing.

Independence Weekend Humor
 

1. "I'm cumming! I'm cumming! I'm cumming!" (What REALLY happens when wicked witches get wet)
2. The ghost of Patrick Swayze never came, but Tina was able to make a nice flower pot.
3. When passengers are unhappy with Euro-rail service...
4. It's hard work taking facials...but Becky guts it out every time.
5. "Hey Arnold...you wanna pump iron or would you rather pump me?"
6. Yeah...she's naked, but judging by her expression your chances of getting laid are slim and none.
7. And her unsuspecting mother kept shopping, never guessing Rebellious Rita was flashing the store cameras behind her.
8. Nancy's mom preserved both the before and after the prom memories.
9. England turns it's back to the European Union? What the fuck?
10. "Three's Company" would have been better had they delved more into the origins of Mr. Roper's name.

9. England turns it's back to the European Union? What the fuck?


Well since they are already in position the only proper response is to bugger them.

Silly Fuckers
 

1. Time to play "Spot the Silly Fucker." (Yes, this one was easy)
2. At The Funny Face Bra Sizing Department, with our patented hand sizing method we can size you up in a jiffy. This is obviously a 34B.
3. Ordinary people having an ordinary discussion...about Real. Kinky. Shit.
4."Hmmm...looks like the sharks finally got our underwater voyeur creep."
5."First thing in the morning you need a handjob...oy! Being married to you is a fuckin' grind!"
6. Ladies...here's further proof that you should never assume he's just using that cell phone to check his emails in bed.
7. How to liven up yet another boring company picnic.
8. ACME's newest mouthwash product...uh... isn't for everyone.
9. Petra's dentist is proud of her for keeping her teeth so white. We are proud of her for other reasons.
10. If any of you folks would like to put your naked ass all over the Internet, please raise your hand.

Friday Night Funnies
 

1. It looks like bondage is making a cum back.
2. Gymnasts just can't do ANYTHING the normal way.
3. Master Bates insisted that Maid Martha polishes his bedposts every week...ah, the lives of the rich!
4. Joe just KNEW it was a mistake to let his wife enjoy an island vacation without him.
5. On hot days, Grandpa Finch always liked a cool glass of sweet tea...and a handjob. (From To Kill A Mockingbird: The Lost Chapter)
6. Now there's an ass...and an ass.
7. Nice 'stash!
8. Tom Brady finally quit fighting his four game suspension...and got back to his usual off season fun.
9. Now we know why Becky's friends call her " Ass Face."
10. Have a Coke and a smile. (If you feel thirsty or horny, this ad works)

Saturday Morning Funnies
 

1. WHY IS CLEANLINESS IMPORTANT? Well...you never want to get a handjob from your brunette girlfriend in the afternoon...
2. ...and have her find a red pubic hair from your morning exploits.
3. If you're green and you like to fuck Starship captains...Kirk will come calling.
4. And you thought all that noise was just the raccoons getting into your garbage again. (It pays to keep a camera handy)
5. On a hot day it's important to stay hydrated. Get plenty of liquids in you...whenever and however you can.
6. Can you guess who doesn't want you to see her tampon string?
7. Soccer moms don't just use their vans for transporting kids anymore.
8. Bushwood Country Club has changed a lot since "Caddyshack."
9. She thought she was just posing for her boyfriend...now here she is on the Internet. ( Appropriate reaction.)
10. "Hmmmm...no red pubic hairs here!" YEP, CLEANLINESS IS IMPORTANT.

The Great Outdoors
 

It;s a great way to get away.

1.After giving it great consideration.Carlo decided to continue with his pool cleaning business.

2.After several embarrassing incidents.Sam gave up trying to teach fly-fishing to his girlfriend.

3.'You know next time we play cards with the guys,Vicky.Maybe you should check and see if the cards are marked beforehand.'

4.'Yes Mam.' The Police Officer explained.'Your allowed to be naked in your backyard as long as you have a fence.But we'd recommend something more than chain-link.'

Friday Funnies
 

1. New car feature...just a tweek of a nipple implanted data chip...
2. And your breasts will lead you right to where you parked your car!
3. "Cocks? We don't need no stinkin' cocks! We got sausages!" (Wisdom from the lesbians of the old country)
4. The call REALLY WAS coming from INSIDE the house!
5. "Yeah, we ARE married to God, but he gave us free will...and this guy's name is WILL."
6. The Tunnel of Love isn't nearly as much fun as The Tunnel of Tits.
7. No caption needed.
8. Viagra strikes again!
9. "And I'm happy to meet you too, Ms. Plenty O'Toole..." (Looks like plenty to me)
10. Sent to her Ex...who used to beg her for handjobs. A woman's scorn is a powerful thing.

Dogs...what's the attraction?
 

DOG: "Let me get this straight...I roll in dead stuff, lick other dog's asses...lick MY OWN ass then lick your face...I shed, have fleas...make a whole lot of noise...hump your legs...chase cars...smell really, really bad...and you love me more than you love your boyfriend? What the Hell did HE DO???"

Friday Funnies
 

1.WARNING: Some breast implants will melt in extreme heat.
2. "Praise Je-sus! I am appearing in: 'I Love You, Funny Face' at last!" (For some it's a religious experience )
3. Unconscious only a few seconds, the injured cyclist awoke just in time to catch two lonely grandmas about to sit on his face.
4. "Well, the dimensions are good and it seems up to hygienic standards...yes, I think you can fuck me."
5. Those Canadian beer companies really know how to advertise, eh?
6. Let's just say my last girlfriend (the one I met at the circus) is just a bit on the exhibitionist side.
7. After finding her like this, Mike realized his wife needed something more than he could ever give her.
8. "It may not be colder than a witch's tit...but maybe you'd like to see how it compares to mine?"
9. Helen thought the prices at the Goodie Mart were extremely high...so she gave management her opinion.
10. Of course your joy at finally getting to cum on her face far outweighs the replacement cost of her false eyelashes.

Tuesday Titters
 

1. You can't call yourself a real cowboy until you sleep with Fast Rita, the trail boss's daughter. Just try to stay on her for eight seconds!
2. Icelandic women have trouble making my Beach Bums thread...but they're always welcome here.
3. "Whoooaaa...duuude....I am Supergirl! Soaring above Metropolis...I can...oh...shit! My pussy is made of steel!" (Blame the weed)
4. What a teaser.
5. When certain politicians with small hands campaign at nude beaches...
6. "...and he's all like...My hands aren't small...my gloves are a small large...and I'm like...Dude, that's a medium."
7. "I'm just saying...if Darth Vader really turns out to be the father, you've got more troubles than a little morning sickness."
8. Woman: "Well, I thought you'd 'turn up' at this event."
9. Can you guess which sunbather is thinking about Gisele Bundchen?
10. It's really a bummer when you get stood up for a picnic...especially when you were supposed to be main course.

Hump Day Humor
 

1. "No! Don't put me in 'I Love You Funny Face!' I don't feel funny today!" ( You don't look funny either...but we like your tits)
2. "This is the life, Bill! I guess crime really does pay." (Moments before the SWAT team beat down the door and shot all three of them)
3. She wasn't really any good at "Hide and Seek" but he didn't care.
4. "Whoaa...my fingers are...like...liquid!" (Hash in the Nutella)
5. Yeah, the rent was sky high in Dave's condo, but the view was worth every penny.
6. "So when we get back to the car, my husband knows me too well...he WILL try to smell your finger..."
7. She made too many "off the cuff" remarks.

60 pages of this shit!
 

1. The last thing I want to see when I die. (I'll bet most of you will concur)
2. Volkswagon is really sorry about the whole emmissions thing...they want to make up for it with their new vibrating seats.
3. "Doctor Liz says you ARE INDEED healthy enough for sex." (Liz loves her role playing)
4. Someone's little Pokemon game is about to be interupted by a Poking Man.
5. The fish that didn't get away from the fisherwoman.
6. The woman who didn't get away from the fish. (Insert ominous "Jaws" music here)
7. She's actually a pretty good little cocksucker as long as she's had something to eat first. Ouch!
8. Fanta is going after Coke and Pepsi with their new ad campaigns targeted at men.
9. Jake likes to role play too...tonight he's the janitor at the women's clinic, pretending to be the gynecologist with a blind patient.
10.HUSBAND: "Well, you slept through the alarm clock! What did you expect me to do???"

i like everything about this pic

Monday is a good day to laugh
 

1. It took a little convincing, but the park ranger finally agreed that cougars in his campground is actually a good thing.
2. GI Joe was surprised to come home from leave and discover that his wife really wanted another baby. Really. Like...right now.
3. Jill RELUCTANTLY agreed to be photographed topless on the beach.
4. Suddenly the boat lurched forward and some very embarrasing surgery was soon to follow.
5. "Yeth, honey...I'll be mmmpth...home in a short while. I almosth hath a big problem at work completely licked."

Humor Awareness
 

1. She's been training for years...and now she can bench press a DD cup.
2. While Jenny's boyfriend Jesse slept, Mick made his play for Jesse's girl. She was not impressed.
3. Once you get them hypnotized, you can pretty much get them to do anything. (She thinks she's a frog)
4. Maddi posed for this, wanting her mean ex boyfriend to see that she finally made it to Italy after all, without him. "Ciao, bastardo!"
5. "Grrrrr...grrrrrr...these are MINE!"
6. MORE than ready for dinner to be served.
7. He learned this move from OCC moderator, Mudbug. (Those small primates stick together.)
8. Yes, she seems to finally be pacified.
9. How lady softball players prepare for doubleheaders.
10. After all these years, Spielberg has found a worthy follow up to his "Jaws" movies. This one will be called "Aqua Lesbians."

Saturday Funnies
 

1. "Hey, it almost fits with the zippers open!"
2. "I only came TWICE! What a lousy lover!" ( You never want to over hear what the multple orgasm sisters really think of you)
3. If you notice your girlfriends are always laying on the floor like this whenever you wear a skirt, they just might be voyeuristic lesbians.
4. Well...you're relaxing day on the beach is about to take a dramatic turn for the worst. Here comes Leon the Loser.
5. "Officer...a bunch of dudes from another school tied me up and forced me to drink too much, then threw me in this pool in my underwear!" ( Pam's lies were getting less and less clever with each passing wild sorority party)
6. "No, no, guys...that's fine! That's enough cum for now!" ( Beth loved orgies but she had her limits with the white stuff)
7. "Why are there so many naked women with cows pictures on the Internet?" ( There are Mooo-vies too!)
8. And speaking of cattle, never piss off a bartender who has a day job at the bovine sperm bank.

Hump Day Humor
 

1. If at first you don't succeed...try, try again.
2. Farming 2016: The old couple from the painting "American Gothic" has been replaced by nudist ass kickin' organic farmers.
3. " I only have nipples for you."
4. Death takes a bride. I hear he boned her later.
5. The best way to blow a guy with a really small dick.
6. Some people love their cars..others have affairs with them. Her husband is beginning to suspect. He smelled car wax on her nipples.
7. Someone is about to get a very rude awakening. It never pays to have an ass biter for a roommate.
8. I hear complaints that there's too much sex and violins in this thread. Tough. Shit.

Bad Pun Day
 

1. Keeping abreast of the latest developments.
2. This pussy will do in a pinch.
3. Beauty is in her jeans.
4. Grabbing the bull by the horns. Later, all those horny guys will grab her.
5. "Damn! While I lay here I forgot I was supposed to get laid tonight!"
6. I know what I'd like to plant...
7. "Oh oh...my cover is blown...and so am I!" (Secret agent's lament)
8. "Are you gonna eat the hole thing?"
9. She might be giving head to a guy who looks like he's lost his.
10.Trying to get a leg up on the competition, she's wondering what the spread on the football game might be. She got hosed last week. You can look it up. Look up it. Spread the word. Don't skirt your responsibility. :rolleyes:

Sunday Funnies
 

1. Sometimes a housewife's BBC fanatasies DO cum true.
2. "One more thing...now that I have this big rubbery friend I don't need YOU for anything at all." (Women can be very cruel)
3. "I'm going to bury everything but this most useful part. "
4. Your odds of getting this girlfriend back are almost as long as those cocks.
5. Tired of her boss putting his tongue in her ear, Melissa bought one of those new aural chastity belts.
6. Drive Up Mutual Masturbation franchises are springing up all over the country.
7. At this point the pizza delivery guy just sighed and left them the large pepperoni...without payment.
8. Just before sex, Jenny pulled off a discreet feminine deodorant spray application. Just one spritz and she'll be fresh for hours.
9. In case you're curious...For obvious reasons May 3rd 2005 will always be considered one of Dave's greatest days ever.
10. She thought she'd seduce her man with this romantic set up. But unfortunately the poor bastard was horribly allergic to roses.

Laugh your ass off
 

1. I heard the gym is having a Nude Nymphomaniac Yoga Night...
2. ...and these guys heard that men can attend on a first come first serve basis.
3. When I told her to kiss my ass I was shocked when she actually puckered up.
4. Imitating Fenway Park's Green Monster.
5."I'm the Alpha Female! All you bee-atches shall bow to me!" (For obvious reasons, Lynn's sorority sisters really hated her. )
6."You can have what's in the basket, or you can eat THIS!" ( Samantha was never one to mince words.)
7. All in all, Rock lover Chastity thought it was the most boring concert ever...but she tried to get her kicks in anyway.
8. Could alcohol be a contributing factor in this behavior? I wonder...
9. The drug store was out of Viagra...
10. Yes, when it comes to anal sex, Patty is one of the more enthusiastic women you'll ever find.

If it's Tuesday it must be funny
 

1. When Joe said: "I'm gonna TAP that hot little piece of ass" No one believed he meant it literally.
2. Yes, when you have a big dick and a big full wallet, you sometimes see this sort of enthusiasm.
3. "Pussy...it's what's for dinner."
4. A leaked photo from the new "Aquaman" movie. Apparently it won't be a family flick.
5. Your wife! Your best friend! Jose Canseco's gold chain!

Hump Day Humor: THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO
 

1. You never want to have a dream that you go to work naked...then discover you aren't dreaming.
2. "Did you menstruate on my pillow?" ( If you're going to walk around naked in rich people's homes, tampons are highly recommended)
3. Accidentally mistook the tube of "Deep Heating Rub" for vaginal itch cream.
4. TOP THREE RULES OF NUDE BEACH ETIQUETTE: Don't leer. Don't take pictures. NO BONERS!
5. It wasn't just an unwanted facial...this woman is about to cut off your penis with a dull box cutter.
6. Women don't really think it's funny when you take the TP and insist they "come and get it." (It's just not the way you keep girlfriends)

A couple for Thursday
 

1. Well...put me on the next elevator to Hell!
2. I hear the green one puts out. (Melts in your mouth...no need to use your hand)

Does that one qualify as an "M Pose"?

Women you don't want to meet on a lonely Friday night.
 

1. The knowing wink of a cock cannibal. Pity the fool who meets one.
2. About to duplicate John Belushi's "Animal House" zit gag...with a mouthful of cum. Not funny.
3. Yeah...she can twist off your beer cap...and crush your cock.
4. Yeah, she's kinda cute...but her breath can clear out a whole double decker bus in 38 seconds.
5. Picking up street urchins might seem fun, but after the sex, when you go to sleep, you'll be lucky if you have any possessions left.

A Cheating Situation
 

Sometimes it's a little to obvious.

1.'No,seriously honey. This isn't what it looks like.I was just helping him regulate his Viagra dosage.'

2.'You're really way to jealous,Tom. Just because the waiter gave me a 'motorboat' between my tits and offered to father my baby doesn't mean anything is going on.'

3.'Now seriously,Monica.What am I supposed to think,when every time my father wants to visit.You dance around like a cheap stripper and keep shouting 'Fuck Yeah.' Over and over?'

4.'Actually, Stephanie. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out you were screwing my husband.Most waitress's don't get a starting salary of $40,000 a year.'