Mrs Lewinski was quite proud of her mammary glands, photographing them at every turn. However, after a time, she began talking to them, stroking them, and referring to them as "my precious." She soon would not let Mr Lewinski near them. The end came when she began telling everyone that her glands had special powers that only the chosen could understand and that a band of elves had promised to give their lives in their defense! The annulment based upon insanity is granted.

When Mrs Able told her husband on their honeymoon that she was a sun worshiper, he assumed is was just an expression. However, when they returned to the frozen wastes of their home town, and she began parading nude in the snow while reciting strange incantations, Mr Able came to realize that his wife was, in fact, a sun worshiper.

Every twenty year marriage has its ups and downs. In this matter, we have a wife who carries an odd device with her at all times. Mr Becker says that it has supplanted him in his wife's eyes. After examining the device, I can only describe it as some sort of cross between a ray gun and a joy buzzer. It has evil looking ridges and nightmarishly sharp looking ends. Why any woman would want such an item is beyond me.........Will the court reporter please stop giggling!

Mr Sanders blames himself for the trouble. Taking his 18 year old bride from Grovers Corner, Iowa to Jamaica on their honeymoon, and seeing all the European women were going topless, he suggested Mrs Sanders do the same. After a time, she reluctantly complied. Not long after, Mrs Sanders caught the eye of a vacationing Somali pirate, one Ali ibn al Fakir. As they say in this business, one thing led to another. Mrs Sanders, perhaps taking the Pirates of the Caribbean films too literally, went off with Mr Fakir. Mr Sanders returned to Iowa alone, cherishing the hope that his wife would come to her senses and return to him. The scales fell from his eyes upon seeing his wife, in the company of Mr Fakir, on CNN. Mrs Sanders was standing on the deck of a munitions freighter in the Persian Gulf, carrying an AK-74, demanding six million dollars for the release of the crew. She was wearing a silk bandana and had a parrot on her shoulder. Oh, and she was still topless.

Mrs Kuragin was thrilled to be married to a KGB agent. He was a man of the world and had many plastic devices and knew how to use them. Any person she borrowed money from soon disappeared, but then, so did every man she had ever had sex with. Odd Bulgarian men in trench coats followed her when she went to the opera or the ballet. Men with milk white hair would appear at the door and ask for her husband. Things began to take an evil turn when Mr Kuragin began insisting that she let him hollow out an incisor so he could put cyanide in it.

Sooner or later in every relationship the male asks the female about her prior sexual history. Mr Yossarian made the mistake of waiting until he was married before he asked. Mrs Yossarian made the mistake of thinking that because they were already married she could be truthful.

hilarious! good work dude!

Mr Aaron, I understand your new wife is exquisite and that you were raised in a share and share alike family. We have been taught since childhood that sharing is a good thing. Our entire Judeo-Christian culture exalts the virtues of sharing. But there are limits and offering a night with your wife on ebay crosses the line.

Great Thread!!!!

The introductions are always a nice read..................

Love the thread and very unique. Kudo's...