floor shot
 

Brilliant upshot from floor, woild make good thread topic?

Also the one with the book, now you know why they call it the DEWEY decimal system....

couple

Saturday Funnies
 

1. I don't know who this guy is, but he's living the good life...and from the look on his face, he knows and appreciates it.
2. A scene from M. Night Shamalamadingdong's sequel to "The Happening..." "The Pantsing." Thankfully no Mark Wahlberg.
3. Mark Wahlberg's biggest fan obviously doesn't appreciate that last comment.
4. Uh...the heart isn't located beneath the clavicle you stupid git!
5. This thread offers a lot of Women vs Cows photos. In a matter of speaking I have eaten both.
6. I don't know who this guy is, but he's living the good life...and from the look on his face, he knows and appreciates it.
7. This statue's proportions proportionately represents the priority in most men's lives.
8. Her boyfriend misunderstood the title of her favorite Rolling Stones song...it's "Shattered" NOT "Splattered."
9. Fuck you! (She's apparently pissed)
10. DOUBLE Fuck you... from a chipmunk.

Christmas Eve Funnies
 

1.On a scout mission in advance of their fleet of Star Battle Cruisers, Captain Athena and Sergeant Sela of the Venusian army were about to order the obliteration of the Earth...but they decided that our flowers were kinda pretty. The Earth is safe...for now.
2. As the coastguard approached, despite spending weeks lost at sea , there was very little enthusiasm to get rescued. Blame it on beer.
3. Angie could take her Johnny Depp/ Captain Sparrow fetish a little too far sometimes.
4. Poor girl on the bench...she thinks we were taking a picture of HER.
5. Dave told his friends that all he wanted for Christmas was a sandwich. He meant ham and cheese.
6. Kathy decided to give her obnoxious housemate a very special surprise Christmas gift...
7. Spend Christmas fishing in Florida...you might catch a big one!
8. Ever wake up in the morning with a peculiar taste in your mouth?
9. "Hello 911? Can you send an ambulance? I have a tiny reindeer...uh... stuck up my ass..."
10. Merry Christmas to all you goofy wankers here at OCC!

And Merry Christmas to you too Fox. Your posts are a highlight of the Forum. :)

Nut Crackin' Sweeties
 

1. I'm not surprised. She was a breech baby.
2. A scene from one of Vlad's wet dreams.
3. Sun bathing in San Francisco is a little different.
4. She was hoping to pose for my Tree Huggers thread...then something went terribly wrong.
5. No sex for you! (The Clit Nazi)
6. The other OTHER white meat.
7. Marla was a great hostess for holiday parties. She always strove to please all of her guests.
8. "Don't you dis my boyfriend Kim! So what if he always looks like he has indigestion? He's good to me!
9. The new ACME silicone breast implants are being recalled after the discovery that they explode when you jog on the beach.
10. 50 Shades Of "He's never gonna fuckin' tie me up ever again!"

1. Those sad facial expressions...and sadder still, she's pretendeing the centerfold is about to go down on her...are you laughing yet?
2. "Help! My back isn't strong enough to haul these suckers back up!"
3. The new Subaru Doggystyle Wagon features lots of room, a nice hatchback...and her. Yeah, they can pretty much charge anything they want for this car. The people will cum, Ray. The people will cum.
4. Never kiss your girlfriend when your lips smell like another woman's pussy.
5. "Has anyone seen my evil twin?
6. "There she is!" (And soon people will die)
7. Hurry up and pee! The evil twin is coming! (Nice teeth)

A Weekend In Morningwood
 

Week days aren't the only time that interesting things happen.

1.While he didn't approve of The Naked Car wash idea.Pastor Jones couldn't argue that the Stoner sisters made a lot of money for his church.

2.On the other side of town.Mrs. Bishop's nude yoga class drew a lot of people.Mostly men.

3.While a short distance away.The wives of those men did their own workout.

4.And Mi Ling's melon farm was as successful as ever...

First laughs of a funny new year?
 

1. Who could blame Hans for being happy? His genie granted his wish to be the last man on earth and make nudity manditory for women.
2. As you can see, Karen's resolution to quit drinking, smoking and taking long baths lasted less than 24 hours.
3. You see what this is, don't you? (It's a stick...up.)
4. There's a new group of aliens visiting the planet.. They have superior technology, but there's no need to fear an invasion. Judging from their oddly shaped heads and faces, they're just a bunch of pussies.
5. Erotic photogrqphy isn't as easy as it looks.
6.We've heard Trump's views on immigration. His solution for mental illness is even harsher.
7. They're inexperienced, but the desire is there. If they work together they'll get this whole lesbian sex thing figured out.
8. "What a great picture of a hot little ass!" you think. You aim the camera and...ohh shit...that's her old man!
9. The "I Love You Funny Face" Witless protection program.
10. The NRA hasn't officially endorsed this collage....but one day they will. Oh yes, one day they will.

Ingenuity
 

1. Rebecca's feeling horny after a long day of work...but her dldo won't vibrate.
2. "How typical!" She snorts "One more disappointment in a disappointing day!"
3. "Hmmmm...I wonder what's wrong with this damned thing?"
4. "No Batteries! I just remembered I used them in something else. I'll bet I 've got some more!"
5. She puts new batteries in...anticipating hours of joyful self abuse.
6. No luck! She decides to try something she used to do when she was a biker chick...
7. "If I can suck start a Harley, a little dildo should be easy!"
8. Bzzzzzzzzzzz. "Ugh, mmmm...grff...aaaahhh." SUCK-CESS!

Sunday Funnies
 

1. Hey man...the groovy Flower Children of the 60s never had any bread...so naturally their offspring became Flour Children.
2. Old Ben had a very nice life insurance policy his greedy wife kept trying to collect...but his weak heart was stronger than her ambition.
3. I found the tourist information lady to be extremely helpful in seeing that I had a good time in her little town.
4. With fanciful thoughts of being Fox Mulder, Juan got his flashlight and went searching for the truth. (It's in there)
5. This is my new girlfriend, Sandy.
6. "Once I was a famous actress...the toast of Hollywood! Now I sell my used panties on Craig's List. " (A drama queen's lament)
7. With the breakup of the Soviet Union, things got a lot looser (and wetter) in Moscow.
8. Harriet pretends she's lost and vulnerable in the sands of Tatooine, about to be ravaged by horny sand people. (You just can't take Star Wars fans anywhere! )
9. Dr Scholls was known to enjoy some very kinky evenings away from work.
10. You have some nasty fantasies about what you'd like to do to this round little ass...The ass owner has got an opinion of them. And you.

Ways to pass boring winter days
 

1. When everything on the TV sucks shit...
2. And handjobs seem ho hum...
3. You can play games with your left tit..
4. Or stick your finger in your bum.
5. You can search your bod for insect pests
6. Or do a homemade pregnancy test (if the rabbit dies...)
7. You can make your guy cum in his own face... (for a change)
8. Or kiss an astronaut from an alien race
9. You can look out the window at all the snow...
10. Or expose yourself to the postman...Doh!

Or you can just surf porn and wank. (You have to assume the sunny scenes are from Florida)

Bad Pun Day
 

1.( More naked women and cows...) When you live out on a farm you learn about sex from watching the animals...kinda...
2. Obviously she was looking to get boned.
3. Finally, Little Jimmy caught his grandma in a perfectly black-mail-able situation. This photo means cookies and ice cream for-EVER!
4. No more wars. No more terror. This is how all future human conflicts will be solved if I'm elected Supreme Leader of Earth.
5. "Agent K23...once your nail polish dries, nail the Polish agent outside the embassy." (Ahhh...The English language in print)
6. Star Wars nerds will do just about anything for free tickets to The Force Awakens.
7. Maybe later we can build a snowman. We'll pretend that he is...very horny.
8. Dildo baseball fever...catch it.
9. Ben thought she had a thing for pilots...nope...she just really loved airplanes.
10."Uh...honey...I think the entire forum at OCC is...watching us!" (Obviously Jill has never been an Internet porn star before.)

Phuking Friday
 

1. Never take a nude selfie after failing a physics final and a pregnancy test on the same day.
2. Do you think we're alone in the universe? Betty doesn't think so. She's an extraterrestrial exhibitionist.
3. "C'mon man! Can't I even pee without having a dick in my mouth?" ( Sometimes a nymphomaniac's life isn't all it's cracked up to be.)
4. "Game of Thrones" is over. Time to get medieval on her ass.
5. Kangaroo convenience stores offer a three cents a gallon discount for paying cash...and a dollar a gallon discount for flashing ass.
6. Conspicuous product placement in a porn humor thread.
7. A member of the I Love You Funny Face Exhibitionist protection program.
8. Another conspicuous product placement? Nah...just conspicuous consumption.
9. "We surrender!" (Tee hee...giggle giggle) 1950's women had an odd sense of humor. Me too.
10. After the zombie apocalypse, where all the good looking people were eaten...the survivors of the human race pose for a group shot in San Francisco.

FANBOY ALERT NUMBER 2 (See post #271 for number one)
 

Another Star revelation...

We've found the picture that inspired George Lucas to create the character Nien Nunb!

Start the week laughing
 

1. Taking surprise pictures of your girlfriend on the toilet is hilarious...until it isn't.
2. Your wife seeks her girlfriend's approval for just about everything. It appears you've once again passed muster.
3. Nymphomaniac toothbrush.
4. The man who fell to Earth from the Red Planet just happened to land on the nude beach. Earth should get high marks in his report.
5. When she was a kid, Nancy feared the Boogie Man in her closet. Now, he's afraid of her!
6. Yeah, you think you need these don't you? Think again, Tiny. Think again.
7. "Why for did you push me in da cold, cold pool?" ( She needs a boyfriend with a better sense of humor)
8. Never fall asleep at a nymphomaniac's house.
9. First indication that the restroom facilities at the University are inadequate.
10. Becky's mother warned her that marrying a dedicated realtor might become an ordeal.

Work & Recreation
 

There's a time to work.And a time to relax.

1.Bonny,for instance.Was able to combine work and play at the same time.

2.Marshall was of course field testing his penis strengthening pill.

3.Tom was busy having another successful test of his X-Ray glasses at an all female tavern.

4.Michael was demonstrating his newly created pool shot. 'Eight Ball in the middle pocket.'

5.While at the Thompson residence. Mr. Thompson was having no problems with the his daughter's sorority sleepover.

"When I look into the mirror I see..."
 

1. "A woman who is really tired...of listening to Donald Trump's political campaign comments."
2. "A woman who is contemplating surgery for her fused-together wrists."
3. "Beyond the Bodacious Tatas...wishing I had more curl in my hair." (We are our own worst critics)
4. "A reminder that my lawn needs to be mowed this weekend."
5. "Some guy, taking a picture of my ass." (And a bunch of other guys wanking over that picture. This means you)
6. "Proof of my multiple personality disorder."
7. "Someone I LOVE...very VERY MUCH! (Get a room!)
8."Two women who forgot the sun screen...again!"
9."A very frightened person who is rethinking Internet blind dating."
10. "That I am totally FUCKED!"

1. After the alien spacecraft crashed in Roswell in 1947, the US Air Force specially trained an elite group of women to act as bait for abduction. Once aboard the alien space craft, the women were suppossed to observe alien strengths and weaknesses and report their findings. What the Air Force didn't count on was the alien's ability to wipe clean all memories of the abduction experience. Therefore no one ever knew exactly how abductees were brought aboard the alien crafts...
2. Now "I Love you Funny Face" has photo evidence! Aliens apparently can suck women right up into the air by their nipples!
3. Not in the possession of a holy hand grenade, Gillian decides to appease this terrible medieval beast...with a wee bit of shrubbery. (If you don't get this, you are not a Monty Python fan...you poor, unfortunate bastard.)
4. Molly, the plumber's daughter is proud of her PVC dildo.
5. If drunk, stay on your feet or you may find yourself with a two toned dick in your face.
6. Inspired by WW2 flying aces who painted enemy flags on their aircraft fuselages to mark their kills, Fiona the nymphomaniac had her own unique way of keeping score.
7. After being caught red handed attempting to burglarize a homeowner she didn't know was home, to avoid jail, Mary reluctantly agreed to a little arrangement.
8. What's going on here? Nun of your business.
9. "Snakes...why did it have to be snakes?" (Actual photo of Indiana Jones' wife cheating on him)
10. When the aliens are done with them...most suburban housewife abductees have positive things to say about the experience.

Attachment 7859775
Like I said, I am a bit of a nut.

And I appreciate that!
 

And my cock wants to bust a nut all over your beans!!

funny faces everywhere

Saturday Funnies
 

1."Help us, Brad Pitt!" Looks like the zombies have caught up to those folks from back in post #472. (See post #472)
2. Speaking of members of the walking dead...
3. Another mayor's daughter delivered to her doorstep by the members of Delta House. (What? You haven't seen "Animal House?")
4. "Ugh! Am I really THIS horny?"
5. "Oh yipee! The orgy has begun! I wanna be fucked too! Fuck me, OK? Yeah!" (Group sex is best when the participants are enthusiastic.)
6.Darwin was right. Here's positive proof that men and monkeys are related.

THE ACME DILDO COMPANY HAS SOME NEW PRODUCTS...
7. Those delicious new marzipan dildos are all the rage with foodies.
8. The new smart torpedo dildo has happily found it's mark.
9. The new invisible dildo was great for airport check ins, but not so good if you forget which bag you put it in.

10. "OK! OK!!! If you twist my arm...I'll show you one of my breasts!"

Everyday Life
 

The stuff that dreams are made of.

1.Wendy surprised everyone by showing up in her actual 'birthday suit.'

2.I don't really do drugs.I mean the first time I snorted Coke I almost drowned.'

3.It was at moments like this that Al remembered why he went into sports photography.

4. Not many people went to the the All Female Touch Football League.Until the players kicked it up a notch.

God Damn it. Or, I Love You Funny Face takes on religion.
 

1. "My picture in the I Love You Funny Face thread? I'm not worthy! I'm not wooorthy!"
2. "Put your hand in the hand of the man from Galileeeee!" (Extra points if you remember this 70's hit song.)
3. Amish hooker.
4. When The Rapture comes, the hottest babes will ascend into Heaven. (We can look up their dresses as they go)
5. Amanda Moses makes her plea to God to part the sea. She's late for a hair appointment.
6. "Our church is testing these new pews...you can pray and take it doggy style at the same time." (The Church of Nymphomania)
7. To avoid a Jihad against this thread, this is all I'll say about Middle Eastern religions.
8. Joining a cult didn't work out so well for Becky.
9. Practicing Lesbyterians.
10. God's way of telling you to stop clogging the tub with hair.

1. When this picture went viral she thought she might get a dishonorable discharge, but all she got was a vaginal discharge.
2. In case the terminally lonely visit the beach...lifeguards are being trained to give emergency cunnilingus.
3. Daniel Day Lewis coined the "I drank your milkshake" line after hanging out with these girls. Thirty days later, when they talked him into a tampon run, he came up with his movie's title: "There Will Be Blood."
4. Obviously she is a Yankie fan.
5. The Starship Enterprise's new bathroom attendant android was a big hit with Captain Kirk.
6. The new virtual reality TVs are a must for every lonely bachelor.
7. Another great multi-tasker: Giving handjobs to her new boyfriend and the ghost of her ex husband at the same time.
8. The poor cabana boy just couldn't keep these cougars in line.
9. "I ...love... you, Blue." (It's not nice to laugh at lonely people.)
10. This Democratic voter has always swung to her left.

I got your speech right here
 

Normally Kathy is an eloquent speaker, making thousands of dollars a night on the lecture circuit. But at the moment all she can say is:

"Mmnnnthprffth!"

Hump Day Humor
 

1. Pedro and Juan were concentrating on the waves. They had no idea they were being stalked by a Beach Cougar...
2. New super heroes for the Marvel Universe: Party Chick and her sidekick, Goldeneye. Her superpower is being able to drink any and all criminals under the table...where Goldeneye rips their balls off.
3. The apartment was way too big. The paint was peeling. It was old and needed too many repairs...but damn, the real estate agent was the best saleslady I've ever encountered.
4. In West Virginia, actual naked virgins have been hired to test the stability of coal mine shafts. It hasn't prevented accidents, but morale amongst the coal miners is at an all time high.
5. God finds ANOTHER sink clogger. ( Go back a couple of posts)
6. Let's face it. Men are pigs. Ladies, be careful out there.
7. "WHOOOO! Being rock stars is fuckin' awesome, dudes!" ( Money for nuthin. Chicks for free)

Better laugh now. You might die tomorrow (Yeah, you)
 

1. "Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to ME?" (Claire just got a job as a taxi driver.)
2. "Say Joe...do you see that little hole in the ceiling? Doesn't that shiny bit in the hole look a little like a camera lense?"
3. TOY STORY The adult version. (Tom Hanks voices the character of Bung Hole Brontosaur.)
4. Putting a spy camera on my cat's collar was a stroke of genius!
5. "I'm going to get a good job and we'll move into a better apartment...then we can get married." (The heart wants what it wants)
6. "London Bridge is falling down (grunt!) falling down ( thrust!) falling down (moan) London Bridge is falling down, oh God I'm cumming."
7. I don't blame him. I want to lick her too.
8. "Oops! Sorry! I didn't mean to make you do that!" (If you didn't want the mast to fall, you shouldn't have launched the torpedos.)
9. Javier was enjoying his first taste of Coke. If he would only look under the table he could enjoy another nice taste.
10. Renee always aspired to one day become a Playboy Bunny, but when on acid, she took things far too literally.

All In A Day.
 

More unusual happenings.

1.That awkward moment when you realize you just sent a risque picture to the pastor of your church.

2.Mike was very reluctant to have his wife 'prancing around on stage' like some cheap woman.But he had to admit the results helped to alleviate his misgivings.

3.Bill knew his new wife had had had reputation of being easy.But he sure didn't expect her to 'tip' their waiter like this on their honeymoon.

4.When he finally talked his new gf into giving him a blowjob in the woods. Jerry wasn't pleased with the results.

You've probably done it "Doggy Style"...
 

But have you ever done it Yogi Style?

Saturday Funnies
 

1. The cougar in the grass sneaks up on the helpless bovines and with her sharp teeth and claws she can quickly gut a full grown animal. With her marvelous tits and ass she can also charm the chaps off of any nearby cowboys. (Yet another naked woman with cows...wow. )
2. You say tomato..and I say, "Buttfuck.." ( A new twist on an old tune)
3. Spring Break at Fort Lauderdale: Why spend all that money on spf 45 sunscreen when passed out drunk chicks are everywhere?

Monday offerings
 

1. Have you ever wondered where amateur porn photographers get their models? (They come C.O.D.)
2. Hearing the call of the wild penis... (It sounds like this: "Blowme...Blowmeeee!")
3. WTF PHOTO...The interesting thing here is the large woman/women walking in the background. Is that two sisters in almost identical poses? Is that the same woman photo shopped? Is this one of those Internet conspiracy things? It's not so much funny as mildly fascinating. Anyone know what's happened here? I don't. I really don't.

Goodbye Ruby Tuesday. Who could hang a name on you?
 

1. "Why... what's that you say? You'd like to fuck my brains out? Little old me? Oh, my!" ( They're wicked b*tchin' polite Down South)
2. Having a die hard nudist husband was something Madge just took in stride. Her simple censorship methods kept family photos PG13.
3. I was thinking about all the women with cows photos in this thread...and began to wonder why humans drink cow milk instead of human milk. If we ever decided to get our milk from our own species...THIS might be a common sight. Anyone got cookies?

Hump Day Humor
 

1. "Could I interest you in a little fellatio? A hummer perhaps? Blow job? Go down on me? Suck my cock? Hmmmm...I guess not."
2. Apparently she sees the cucumber my friend Dave has stuffed down his jeans.
3. Hey Trump! You are several million times more likely to be killed by a crazy, American gun-loving chick in a bikini than by a refugee. Oh...she's got TWO guns...the odds just doubled.

To Kill A Mocking Milf?
 

Hydrophobia...otherwise known as Rabies...is known by the spectacle of it's victim foaming at the mouth and succumbing to madness. Rabies is highly contagious. If you know any Southern attorneys named Finch who just happen to be good marksmen, you can stop the spread of the disease in it's tracks.

Friday
 

1. "OK...like...I'm just going to hold them in place until the glue dries..." (It's nice to have a good friend with you when your tits fall off)
2. Another young recruit learns the ropes at The Lesbian Training Academy.

Saturday Funnies
 

1. As a young university mathematician, Good Jill Hunting knew exactly how to get and keep her student's undivided attention.
2. Frank and Teresa both misunderstand what is meant by "Necking" but they seem to be having fun anyway, so what the hell.
3. Tessa always thought SHE should have been the one cast to play Lara Croft.
4. This pastor's daughter's Saturday nights inspired her father to write many an emotional sermon on Sundays.
5. And speaking of alcohol...here's the moment when the beer on the boat made Benny bold.
6. And speaking of alcohol...apparently Budweiser can cause orgasms just as intense as those expensive homemade brands.
7. After she caught him cheating with a cheetah, Jane decided it was time to leave Tarzan for good.

enjoy

Valentine's Day Funnies
 

1. Two is company. Three means someone sleeps on the floor.
2. Yeah...so she drunk you under the table...but do you really care?
3. Lube it up baby...or your ass will never close again.
4. The allies would have never taken the beaches at Normandy if Germany had only deployed Bombshells.