1. Sad news out of Hollywood, this evening. Morris Pelt, beloved star of stage and screen has passed away. 2. Morris, best know for his portrayal of William Shatner's hair, had a career that spanned decades. Citing "creative differences" (and a rumored hair transplant), Morris parted ways with the Star Trek actor in the late 80's, and reinvented himself as a pubic wig. 3. (AP photo) 4. (AP photo) 5. (AP photo). 6. Changing fashions eventually made it difficult to earn a living, and Morris struggled to make ends meet. He spent his final years as an asshole merkin. 7. (AP photo). 8. Morris Pelt died in his sleep on March 25th, 2023. He is survived by his wife Susan, 300 children, and 1400 grandchildren (pictured).

1. General Kenobi, this is our most desperate hour. You MUST see these droids safely delivered to Alderaan. Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope! 2. Of course, Alderaan is not a wealthy planet, so we can't offer you much in the way of compensation. 3. (Sigh) Here we go again. It's always the same thing. Help us Obi Wan this, and save us Obi Wan that...but never so much as a farthing for my trouble. 4. Do you think it's cheap rescuing people from Sith Lords, Luke? I'm living on a fixed income. I haven't even bought a new pair of underwear since the Clone Wars. Fuck it! We'll just stuff the droids in a box, and drop them off at FedEx. 5. However...I AM...prepared to offer myself to you for whatever degrading sexual favors you may deem necessary. 6. (???) 7. Nothing would be too perverted or disgusting, I assure you. I am well versed in multiple techniques; Bespin Steamers, Tatooine Tractor Pulls, Hoth Blizzards, Dirty Ewoks...8. Quickly, Luke...9. We haven't a moment to lose! 10. We MUST see these droids safely delivered to her on Alderaan, it's the Jedi way...

1. Excellent, excellent. We have all been sleeping for two hundred years. Everyone do futuristic yoga stretches, that no one will know to laugh at for four decades. 2. Gee, Kawn...how cum you guys are wearing clothes, but us goils are all in our undah-wears? 3. I apologize, but we don't have enough jumpsuits to go around. 4. Hey, waddabout them snazzy jumpsuits right there, hangin' ovah your arm? Oh, these are for me, my dear...You know how sweaty I get when I over-act.

If we play our cards right, this could be the first time in history that a ham has ever porked a pig...

"Quick, honey...take a picture of those big fake boobs." "Over there, next to that topless woman..."

From Bukkake to Toy Story
 

You're covered.

I don't care how good a deal you got on Travelocity, this is the LAST time we're staying in the Jobeth Williams suite!

I wish there was a laughing choice in addition to the thanks for post.

Thanks
 

Friday Funnies
 

Many of these jokes have gone to the dogs.