awe sweet

Saturday Morning Funnies
 

1. OK...you've got the thumbs up...fuck her!

2. Once in a while I see televised poker and think it's as boring as TV gets...THIS I would watch...every time it was on. You bet!

3. "Yes, my dear...you will continue to suffer until you tell me my sideburns are cool!"

4. "He's still unconscious. I hit him hard with that oar....now help me get his boat adrift. Then we'll shoot it with a flaming arrow...he'll have a viking funeral and we get his money. ( Don't fuck with the Soderstrom sisters)

5. When you have a smelly housemate sometimes you have to go to extremes.

6. "Smelly cat...smelly cat...what are they feeding you? Smelly cat...smelly cat...It's not your fa-ah-ault." (Phoebe wannabe)

7. "Can't I even pee without all of OCC looking at me? Well? Are you going to the next joke or what? Go away!"

8. "You go back to the peeing girl! I don't want you oggling me either! "

9. Some friends give you the shirt off their back. Look what Julie gives you!

10. I don't know what the hell charity they're walking for...but I support them...absolutely!

Nothing Particular
 

Left to Right Yaddi-Ya.

1.Betty was quite amazed at how many people were cheering her daily jogging routine.

2.It didn't seem to matter how much he warned her.Fiona was constantly stumbling into her husband's security booby-traps.

3.Toni learned rather quickly that her new boss took the term 'dictation' quite literately.

4.It took Patty a few seconds to realize that someone had smeared the side of her Jacuzzi with superglue.

:p:p

Obvious
 

Yes it is.

1."I mean sometimes I feel like I'm just walking around naked.And no one bothers to tell me.Isn't that silly?"

2."Really? What makes you think I'm Jewish?"

3."Are you serious? And I just thought he had a very dark tan!"

My Contribution
 

Probably reposts but still worth it.

Funny faces

Few more of Tiger
 

Just a few more of the Tiger lady that KAS put up in Post380 - photo 4

LOVE TO SUCK HER BOOBS

Disorder in the Court
 

It's no wonder our legal system is so messed up.

1."Your Honor.I'd like to call a recess to privately consult with my client."

2."I'm sure you always wondered what we judges wore under our robes."

3.Everyone just assumed that the sounds from the jury room meant they were arguing evidence.

4.After reviewing the evidence. It was easy to convict the Assistant DA of jury tampering.

Alarming Incidents
 

When things don't go quite as planned.

1.It would have been even more exciting if the fire alarm hadn't gone off a few seconds later.

2."Oh,fuck.That was husband we just passed!"

3.Zoey then realized she'd fallen for the old invisible car scam.

4.Initially the Police Officer only stopped her for not wearing a seat belt.

Attachment 7296310
One billion dollars!

Dealing with The Boogie Men
 

Different women react differently to The Boogie Man and other monsters in their homes.

1. Jill tells all monsters to kiss her ass.
2. Carolina pretends to be all scared and vulnerable, but she'd wear out any monster who was after her pussy.
3. If you close your eyes and say "Fuck you! You're not real!" Most monsters will go away. But some cum and go.
4. Dave isn't really a monster, and the Anderson twins aren't really scared. It works good for both parties.
5. Darcy thinks her father's money will buy her out of any situation. However, most monsters have no place to spend money. Uh oh.
6. She thinks it's the Boogie Man...but it's really Ted from next door.
7. Jacquie got too close to a horrible one eyed trouser snake.
8. Monsters haven't got a chance with Kelly.

Offerings to the comedy gods
 

1. One out of ten women suffer from TP Confusion Syndrome. Plesee send money to me...and I'll try to wipe out this terrible disease in our lifetime. Really. I will. I promise. Just send money. Now.
2. Like a bat out of hell!
3.Hey guys...do you need any more incentive? Water conservation is so important. Shower with a friend...or two.
4.Some voyeurs use peepholes. George actually lives in a bathroom mirror.
5. Reminds me of an old Disney animated movie...kinda.
6.Now this is MY kind of summer outdoor gathering.
7.OK it's sort of like basketball because there's five to a team...wait a minute...this is NOTHING like basketball!
8. Because there isn't enough sex and violence on TV, Fox's new drama "GUNFUCKERS" is going to debut this fall.

Sunday Funnies
 

1. Revealed at last...the Alien's secret coed cloning facility!
2. Daaaaaam!
3. It's legal everywhere now ladies...come out of that closet!
4. Yeah...it's pretty damned hot in Key West this time of year.
5. People tell me all the time that if I knew how mushrooms were grown I wouldn't eat them. I'm not so sure...
6. While not "The Most Interesting Man In The World, " Dave doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he loses all inhibitions...
"Stay horny, my friends."
7. Distracted driving kills thousands on America's highways every year...but some die happy.
8. My wife! My best friend! I knew it!!!
9. And you thought Hell wasn't a pleasant place!
10. Sometimes the dreams of the everyday housewife DO come true!

Sexy and fun
 

Sweet ass. Goofy looks.

Tuesday funnies to get you to Hump Day
 

1. Before all the gadgets the only thing that came in James Bond's car was her.
2. No bull...this looks like an udder disaster.
3. Speaking of bull...these women are ready to shovel and the panties are down because they're fucked no matter what they try to do.
4. It used to be a lot harder to communicate with astronauts.
5. Toy Story...the X rated version...without Tom Hanks.
6. The dreams of the everyday lesbian do come true.
7. So do the dreams of Billy Bob, his brother Lester and cousin Milt.
8. Sometimes you don't need a dream to come true. You just need a place to pee after a long day of streaking.
9. Another blind taste test from a suspect marketing company. She thinks she's trying to tell the difference between Ballpark Franks and Hebrew Nationals. The marketers have something better in mind.
10. "Melissa! Come away from the window and stop teasing the walking dead!"

What we want and what we get
 

1. "Yes, you're probably wondering why I invited the two of you here. I want you to look at our tits. " (Mental illness isn't funny...really)
2. It's an unfair world when little Prudence has to get herself off in her lonely room...
3. ...while Lucretia can't swallow all the cum she gets in her mouth in one evening!
4" Ram me! Oh, God! RAM ME!" (Careful what you ask for...or never have sex with a literal magician.)

1. "Now I'm only going to ask you more time...where did my other sock go?" (Dave's "Master" act was lacking something)
2."My boyfriend makes my pussy wet. I sure hope this can dry it!" ( Young women are...uh...uncomplicated)
3. The Packers didn't make it to the Super Bowl...but apparently their quarterback didn't mind so much.
4. Sheila thinks dating a geologist is...interesting.
5. "Damn...having a bondage threesome fantasy is tough when one of the dildos pops out!" (Don't just sit there...help her!)
6. Jill is a Homer-sexual...doh!
7. Now a good detective will notice three empty glasses and three people getting down and dirty. Apparently the photographer isn't very thirsty. Perhaps he's the designated pornographer.
8. Is giving head really this much fun? I don't want to know!
9. It's tough to be flying through the air in the olympics with millions of people watching...and suddenly having to sneeze.
10. "Stay like this ladies...and the damned paparazzi won't be able to take close ups of our beautiful athletic asses...""

1.When John walked into the bedroom.He finally found out just what his wife would do for a Klondike Bar.

2.Even Monica's boss thought she took 'Casual Friday' way to literately.

3. Bill had his own way of supporting the troops.His wife had hers.

4. "Yes,Officer.He was looking right through this hole in the fen....What are you staring at?"

Sunday Funnies
 

1. Women. Even when they're property labled we guys are willing to risk it...
2. ...that's because sometimes the labels are very enticing.
3. Jesus! She's attractive!
4. "Honey, would you take a look at my Volvo? I keep hearing a jingly sound when I'm driven, and my exhaust system seems plugged..."
( Liz loved playing erotic games with her mechanic boyfriend. )
5. Some women need more incentive to blow you than others...
6. "So Sally...you said we were going to do some 'muff diving.' I hope this is proper attire."
7. "Well Son, I gave her away at the ceremony and so I feel compelled to give her away on the honeymoon."
8. Becky loves to watch "50 Shades of Gray" from her favorite chair.
9. "Smelly caaat...smelly cat. Whaat are they feeding you? Smelly cat. Smelly cat. It's not your faaault."
10. "NO! I don't want to be in this stupid thread! I said NO, DAMMIT!"

1. According to The Men In Black: despite their horrible faces, Earth women still love to screw Martian men. Looks just aren't as important to women. Also, an eight inch tongue and a retractible phallic nose makes Martian men interesting...and lots of fun.
2. Martha doesn't mind that her husband keeps her on a short leash. She just hates having to beg at the dinner table.
3. "Americans! Be careful because the floors are wet...and so are we."
4. Librarians don't insist that you only speak in whispers in a library anymore...but the penalties for overdue books are harsher.
5. " If I had a haaammer...I'd hammer in the mor-or-ning... I'd hammer in the eeevening...all over this a- land!"
6. "I say, old chap...have you seen my monocle?"
7. "HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!"
8. Jenny's pedacure, massage and cunnilingus door to door business was very popular.
9. Wow...She's showing you her pussy and some of you are still staring at her rack!
10. Liberals with their loose morals have always angered conservative Republicans.

Forgetfulness
 

1. "Oh shit...I forgot to buy toilet paper!"
2. "Oh fuck...I forgot to take my birth control pill!"
3. "Oh frack...I forgot to record Battlestar Galactica!"
4."You know Gillian, I hope forgetting to put gas in your car again on ' Topless Beach Swim Night' has finaly taught you a lesson."
5. Looks like someone got drunk and forgot that it's not a nude beach, that it's uncool to masturbate in public and this isn't Mexico.
6. Forget thinking globally and acting locally. Get naked and have a ball.
7. Erin forgot it's nearly impossible to get a good night's sleep in a sorority house.
8. Somewhere in Russia... "Boris, thanks to my new plastic American friend I am forgetting YOU."
9. "Forget about going out for dessert. Close your eyes and open your mouth. I have a nice treat for you right here..." ( She was expecting chocolate)

Vintage Sunday Funnies
 

1. "Madge...are you writing this down? OK... In the year 2015 men are going to be playing with their....Uh...things while looking at pictures of this very phone conversation via something called 'cyberspace.' I know it sounds crazy, but my gypsy fortune teller swears it's true!"
2. "Does anyone else think it's kinda sad that Dorothy just keeps playing Twister all by herself?"
3. Here's a little known fact about biker dudes in the 70s...Their women loved wine, but they preferred milk.
4. "Come on honey, you know what the doctor said...swallow...it will make you feel a LOT better. (The "doctor" was really his friend, Mike)
5. Before men could ascend the heights of Mt. Everest they first had to conquer the Bodacious Tatas of Northern New Hampshire.
6. The American health care system was much more patient friendly in the 60s.
7. "First things first, Joan...we wash his blood off our hands, THEN we take your husband's Jaguar back to the Malibu bungalo and get his cash. " (It was Joan's first romantic robbery/ homicide)
8. Another little known fact is that Hope Solo's grandmother was also a pretty fair goalie in HER day.
9. Oh no...he's smiling...he thinks I'm staring at his meat."
10. "Oh look at this one! It's a band out of Liverpool...four guys with funny hair who apparently can't spell the word 'beetle.' My sister has the WORST musical taste! Let's just fuck without music tonight."

Start the week laughing
 

1. When it's your first time with your new hot lesbian friend, the last thing you expect is to get your hand stuck...poor Doris!
2." So if I stay on the track team and run all summer I'll have an ass like that? I'm all in!"
3. As a psychotherapist Mandy had excellent results treating patient's with a fear of clowns.
4. I've seen these before but never got a chance to hold one in my hand...very interesting. However, I'd rather just enjoy a nice pussy."
5. Nikki was the best golf instructor at Bushwood Country club. She never failed to get golfers to improve their game.
6. "Gosh Mrs. Nelson...that's awfully nice of you to say...do you REALLY think I have a nice pole?" (Clueless pool boy)
7. When Jane walks through that door her life will change forever...so will the lives of the men inside.
8. So THIS is why they invented underwater cameras!
9. "Vell dahlink...you haf alvays been obsessed mit ze head...alvays demanding ze head...und now I GET ze head!" (It never ends well when you date a resentful, sociopathic, murderous woman with a fake German accent...who hates giving blowjobs.)

Tuesday Titters (As in laughter, not tits...but there are tits)
 

1.Yeah...look at that smile...I get the feeling she's done this sort of thing before. (Will this be deleted as a water sports pic?)
2. The ultimate inadequacy nightmare comes to life...poor bastard!
3. Billy Bob is more than willing to give as many of these rides down the slide as the ladies want. Good ol' Billy Bob!
4. They say dogs only see in black and white.
5. Ya gotta love a woman with a sense of humor.
6. New England women tried to make the best of last winter's record snowfalls.
7. Apparently the New England men were too occupied with the Patriot's fortunes. Lucky for Frosty.
8. "Her name is Sandy!"
9. "You can run but you can't hide! Sooner or later the pussy posse will get you!"
10. I hope you are! (Laughing out loud...not an asshole)

Ain't no cure for the summer time blues
 

1. Raised by wolves, panting is just how this Milf deals with the heat...and her nose isn't the only thing that gets wet.
2. You automatic transmission drivers are really missing something if you never learn to use a dickshift.
3. She's wasting away again...look at her hat.
4. "Keri, I'm so sorry he left you for that other girl. However, if you just lie back on this towel, I can make you feel a lot better..."
5. "Oh my god...that's the statue of liberty! Those damned dirty apes! God damn them to hell!" (In honor of Mr. Heston)
6. "Aw, dude! " (Surfer Joe gets caught with his wetsuit down)
7. Yeah, it's funny until you try to deep throat that sucker, choke and need CPR...
8. It looks like the same bully that kicked sand in Nathan's face on the beach has just stolen his girlfriend. Time to get Charles Atlas' address off the matchbook cover. (Will you younger people even get that?)
9. Cindy has a message for haters. I concur.
10. If your girlfriend has a breakdown and you intend to fix her yourself, be sure to use the proper tools.

Open to Interpretation
 

1. Debbie carefully hung up her little barricade to guard her privacy against the neighbors...but she didn't count on Sneaky Seymour with his expensive telephoto camera lens in the high rise apartment on the next block.
2. Ladies, it's either the cheapest hand lotion you'll ever have...or the most expensive...depending on your point of view.
3. It looks like someone is enjoying a little visit to "One Click Dicks."
4. The Matthews sisters almost always do what they're told.
5. It looks like whatever she's doing, she's doing it well.
6. These could be Maggie's salad days.
7. My humor is dry, so sometimes my jokes take a while to get. Sometimes people finally get them...at the strangest times.
8. You gotta love a woman with the sense of humor to pose for something like this!
9. "Are these too girly looking to go with black toenail polish?" ( In such delicate cases I advise wearing nothing at all)
10. She hasn't got a prayer.

Sunday Funnies
 

1.What? You've never seen a pole-ish girl before?
2. There are ass men and there ASS men. Or..., as they sang in South Pacific: "Once you have found her...never let her go."
3.So much to sniff...so little time.
4. Once you"ve had zombie, you'll never go back.
5. "Jeff...I TOLD YOU to quit smoking!"
6. For some reason I'm reminded of Scotty's "Jeffries Tube" in the original Star Trek series...Thankfully, this isn't Scotty.
7. Heavily tattooed and pierced pot smoking cougars need good lovin' too...
8. "Bathe like an E-gypt-shun!" (The Bangles strike again)
9. Don't it always seem to go... that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone?
10. Paola stole those shades from Elton John.

More fun
 

1. The way women look when they sit down to enjoy this thread...
2. The way women look right around joke number ten. (Goodnight, sweethearts. Mind if I finish your popcorn?)
3. You know what sucks? Buying a cabin in the middle of the woods to enjoy with your new girlfriend, only to find out she's Lizzie Borden's crazy granddaughter.
4. Don't expect a long term relationship with these two...they're cheetahs.
5. Amanda knows how to get a salesman's attention when she needs service.
6. After three days in the desert sun, Julie finally surrendered to the heat.
7. "I'm about to appear in 'I Love You, Funny Face ' and I haven't got a thing to wear!"
8. Swingers in the 50s.
9.As David Gates once sang..."Maybe I'm beat, but oh what a sweet surrender!" ( I wonder if she's taking any more prisoners tonight?)
10. "Hi, I'm Dave...pleasure to meet you. Is this your first time in this thread? "

Heavy breathing humor
 

1. It's an "I Love You Funny Face" party! Look! these ladies have brought something nice to eat!
2. And Pete is working on a dessert!
3. Meanwhile, Joan of Arc stepped into another dimension in the afterlife and has suddenly found herself transported to the year 2015 and has landed in a University of Florida sorority house in Gainesville. Talk about ze culture shock! Poor Joan!
4. I wonder if the picture she's taking is half as exciting as the one we're looking at?
5. Are we not men? We are Devo! (I love the Star Trek tattoo)
6. I want this to be the last thing I see when I die...of course at birth I saw the same thing... only from a different point of view.
7. Choices...choices...choices... (Jane is the kinda girl who doesn't need to choose. She wants it all.)
8. And now for something completely different!
9. Very slowly...very carefully Millicent lowered her panties and raised her skirt. She knew that at any second her poor neglected pussy might finally explode.

10. Folks, there is an incredible amount of plastic floating in the world's oceans...and covering our beaches. It's more than an inconvenience or a simple pain in the ass... We need to be better stewards of our environment. If we destroy our oceans we destroy ourselves.

Some things are obvious, some things aren't
 

1. "I told you my friend Emily was from Ohio...see? Here's the 'O'...do you believe me now?"
2. I guess you fellows are shit out of luck.
3. They had heard the term "Piss Flappers" but even THEY didn"t get understand. (Labial slang isn't my thing either)
4. "Ai! Juan! Can't you see my pussy is on fire!" ( Be careful what you touch after you've handled jalapeños!)
5. Billy Bob and Zeb sure thought the city women were mighty obligin'.
6. "Hey! You finally got an erection! Is it OK to begin sucking or should I wait to see if it gets even harder?"
7. Peggy wanted everyone to see that she could deep throat after all. I never doubted her...did you?
8. This is what the Viagra people meant when they advised you to ask your doctor if you are healthy enough for sex.
9. Don't laugh...you know you'd be down there doing it too if she would let you.
10. Ever notice how women always seem to leave the trail together? (Town or country...women go together)

1. "Have you read 'The Tao Of Physics?' I HIGHLY recommend it. In fact I'll show you my pussy if you read it!"
2. "Oh...crap...what a hangover! I had a nightmare I posed nude in the 'Masked Crusaders' thread on OCC." (She did. Check it out!l)
3."Hi guys! Ready to go to the game? Let me finish up with Judy here and I'll meet you outside." (It's nice to have close buddies)
4. Her husband is a terrible handyman...but he finally put the work table she bought him to good use.
5. Liz frequently offered herself from behind while providing him a fresh face to look at. She thought it was better than him cheating.
6.This is NOT how Jake expected to find his mother when he came home from college...next time he'll call first.
7. Steve was proud of himself for his multi tasking skills. Doing some stretching while getting head was one of his better ideas.
8. All he can do when she gets like this is pet her and just hope she stops growling.
9. As it turns out...poor Jake didn't call his aunt either when he visited HER on his college break. Jake has learned two valuable lessons.
10. "You didn't read 'The Tao of Physics,' did you?"

Sunday Funnies
 

1. "Is that like, a camera? Like, are you taking pictures of me naked? That is like way cool, as long as it doesn't end up like on the Internet."
2. Looking at the intimidating arse-sonal her captor has on her back, I am somewhat relieved, for her sake, to see a tube of lube nearby.
3. Trailer...uh...treasure?
4. "Sir, what sized ass did you say you were looking for? Here at 'Asses Are Us' we have a wide variety to choose from."
5.The Starfleet ensign is caught with his finger up Captain Kirk's girlfriend's ass...Dr. McCoy might soon say: "He's dead, Jim."
6. Yeah, Jenny swallows, but she doesn't enjoy it all that much.
7. Now what has she got there? Oh...this must be what the term "pussy whipped" means!
8. "Do you like my black nail polish?" ( Now is not a good time to say anything negative, mean or sarcastic)
9. "Aaarrrgh!" (Are any of you scared? Not even a little? Ah, come on! Damn! So much for this becoming a frightening, shocking thread)
10. Stand back...Marta's nipples have been known to cut glass.

Total envy of #10's nipples

OH YEAH?
 

Well, if those are YOUR nipples in your avatar, I'd say you've got a pretty nice pair yourself!

Lol, they are and thanks.

Yesterday and Today
 

1."Hilary...I presume that you only love me because I have a powerful automobile." (Hot cars still do it for a few chicks)
2."Agatha...am I to understand that you only care for me because I have a large penis?" (Big cocks are still HUGE with some babes)
3. "Olive...I am well assured that you love me because I can give you an orgasm with cunnilingus." ( Eating pussy is a timeless skill, and ALL women love it! Forget the car, don't worry about your size. Guys, be "well assured." Learn it. Enthusiastically practice it!)

4. Grandma enjoys knitting, taking care of her little dog, Mitzi...and flashing the cat!
5. During The Great Depression there were no "Hunger Games." There was just hunger.
6. "So tell me...do you like these earrings?" ( Uh...uh...try to focus! )
7. I blame THIS on the Heineken!
8. Now this is exactly why park rangers tell you to NEVER hike alone!

Random Thoughts
 

It's what they're actually thinking.

1."I really need to dust that ceiling fan."

2."Can you tell me where to find the melons?"

3."Hell no I'm not going to tell Mrs. Hill that my X-Ray glasses really work."

4."Oh...this reminds me.I need to thaw out the foot longs."

Anymore
 

Does anyone have any more photos of this cute lady.