[Exhibitionist] Closet exhibitionists

[nudony]

After reading some posts on another thread about closet exhibitionism, and the fact that many of us seem to be married to one, I figured the topic merited its own thread.

Both women in my life have been closet exhibitionists. Although their individual take on it was very different.


I've talked about my fiancée. She was raised in a very strict environment, being told from a young age to be "ladylike" and "proper." Being a successful professional, this "code of conduct" is pretty ingrained in her.
I've talked about her standing around, naked, in front of open windows with blinds rolled up and curtain drawn with high visibility from the street. Her response to my inquiry about her pattern has been either ignorance: "oh...really?!? No way!!" or flippancy: "Bah...no one can see me clearly anyway..." (when in fact her nudity was quite clear to by-passers."
She also often goes out braless or undie-less; and even though her lack of underwear is easily discernible, she still invariably asks me if it's obvious. And since I always tell her she's good to go (I kinda have to), she gets validation instead of just admitting she likes having her small tits bouncing and her nipples poking through the thin fabric.

Someone once talked about "plausible deniability." That sums it up pretty nicely.

My fiancée's closet exhibitionism became quite clear during our vacation in St Martin. From deciding to go bottomless on our nighttime stroll on the public beach, to her behavior at the nude beach. At the nude beach, she slipped and fell while wading in the water. That was accidental. What wasn't accidental was her falling again as I tried to pick her up, and landing on her back spread-eagled. And then turning around and tumbling forward, ass in the air.
Now...a "true" exhibitionist would have been content just lying on the beach, sun tanning legs open and enjoying people looking at her. But it was clear that my girl was enjoying something different.

Being a closet exhibitionist, the thrill she was getting was from the "unknown", or "anonymity." Be it going bottomless on a public beach at night, or flashing her juicy while rolling around in the surf, or going underwear-less, or standing naked in front of the window; it is the "knowing" that people could see her, but "not knowing" if she was actually being seen.


With my ex it was different; but similar. She became a closet exhibitionist as a result of becoming a nudist.
She started out very shy; and although her upbringing was not as strict as my fiancée, she had hang-ups about people seeing her naked. She gradually overcame her hang-ups by making nudist friends; and found her "naked confidence." And then things went in an unexpected direction.

She started shaving bald; something that she had previously said she would never do. She started sitting and lying around with her legs open right by the pool, or while lotioning or talking to friends. I asked her about this sudden change, and she replied either ignorance: "oh really? I wasn't paying any attention..." or flippancy: "no one is paying attention to me anyway, why should I worry about it?"

At that point her closet exhibitionism was confined to the nudist environment. But then it started spilling into the "real" world. We were coming back from the resort one day; and she claimed she was hot from spending the day naked in the sun. She opted to just wear a sarong on the ride back. I was driving and the next thing I knew she was half asleep, and the sarong was unfastened and her tits were out. A little while later the sarong was on the floor. She claimed it had accidentally fallen off. I bought it; until a following trip to the resort where she decided to wear a sarong again for the trip. It was partially tied and her tits were hanging out from the side; and she was holding them in place with her hand. Halfway down the road her tits were completely out. We hit a residential area before entering the resort, there were people walking down the street, and she made no effort to cover up. And whereas people are supposed to ring at the resort gate dressed because of the neighboring homes, she just jumped out completely naked to buzz us in.

She would do such things several times; I have no idea how many drivers-by or residents have seen her naked from their cars or home. What I believe happened is that nudism triggered her closet exhibitionism, and she used our nudist lifestyle as an excuse to explore "exhibiting" herself, under the guise of being a "confident nudist."


In both cases I haven't been able to get them to admit the "thrill factor" that was obvious in their random acts of "covert" exhibitionism. But their attitudes have led me to believe that no matter how much your significant other denies it, there is a bit of exhibitionism in all of them. It just hasn't found it's way out yet.

[zeuren]

My wife is similar. She has 100% always denied she is an exhibitionist. Yet she has a long history being uncareful around certain men when she wears skirts without panties. She has always been quite happy to wear see through swimwear. In more recent years she now gets changed in front of the bedroom window facing out.

She'll go to the grave proclaiming shes not an exhibitionist. If I question her and I rarely do these days. She will always say she was unaware or she doesnt care what people can see. I think she likes taking a risk and gets a thrill. The things she does are things she could claim are innocent mistakes. For example -

"Dont lots of ladies go pantyless, and dont lots of ladies occasionally show a bit more than they intended."
"Lots of ladies buy and wear swimwear they had no idea go see through when wet."
"Lots of houses dont have a net curtain in the bedroom window and people shouldnt be staring up at people getting changed anyway."

One thing I know is if theres a man that she can tell fancies her and hes looking her up and down. I have known her to give him something to look at. She has often uncrossed her legs so he can see her pussy or leaned over to show cleavage or a downblouse. Yet when I mention it later and say I approve she denies it strangely. I think there must have been alot of things over the years I have missed or I wasnt with her.

Anyway, I'm quite happy with the situation and find it fascinating. It used to frustrate me that she would do these things and deny knowledge. But after reading these forums I now understand its fairly normal behaviour. I will continue to encourage it but now I have an idea how her mind works I will be more subtle.

[HedoRocks]

Originally Posted by zeuren

My wife is similar. She has 100% always denied she is an exhibitionist. Yet she has a long history being uncareful around certain men when she wears skirts without panties. She has always been quite happy to wear see through swimwear. In more recent years she now gets changed in front of the bedroom window facing out.

She'll go to the grave proclaiming shes not an exhibitionist. If I question her and I rarely do these days. She will always say she was unaware or she doesnt care what people can see. I think she likes taking a risk and gets a thrill. The things she does are things she could claim are innocent mistakes. For example -

"Dont lots of ladies go pantyless, and dont lots of ladies occasionally show a bit more than they intended."
"Lots of ladies buy and wear swimwear they had no idea go see through when wet."
"Lots of houses dont have a net curtain in the bedroom window and people shouldnt be staring up at people getting changed anyway."

One thing I know is if theres a man that she can tell fancies her and hes looking her up and down. I have known her to give him something to look at. She has often uncrossed her legs so he can see her pussy or leaned over to show cleavage or a downblouse. Yet when I mention it later and say I approve she denies it strangely. I think there must have been alot of things over the years I have missed or I wasnt with her.

Anyway, I'm quite happy with the situation and find it fascinating. It used to frustrate me that she would do these things and deny knowledge. But after reading these forums I now understand its fairly normal behaviour. I will continue to encourage it but now I have an idea how her mind works I will be more subtle.

Plausible deniability !!

She can be an exhibitionist without ever having to admit it, and you still get to enjoy the show. Everyone wins!

[ExFiles]

She used to live in a studio apartment on the first floor, blinds wide open and lights on at night. She does not wear anything after her shower in the evenings. I keep my blinds closed. Soon as the moved in, all of them open, all the time. Our first trips to the local nude beach were her idea. Originally, we'd buy a pass to an area far away from people. Walk about two miles to get there and keep our clothes on-hand. She suggested next time we go, we just go about 100 yards from anyone else.

We were having a sexual talk one night and I pointed out that she's an exhibitionist. And that I was fine with the threat and/or idea of being caught or more open nudity at the beach; I'm just no cuckold, no offense to anyone who is, it's just not my idea of a good time.

Ever since I've pointed it out, she's been a bit more daring with it.

We live in a townhouse with it's back to a lake, with an upstairs balcony. Three other similar communities back up to the lake. This year, during the 4th of July, we were on the balcony with several neighbors launching fireworks over the lake. This is some QUALITY stuff, not the old occasional bottle rocket, but TIMED and shooting off in sequences. It was really something to watch.

So we're watching them when she snuggles up in front of me. When I put my arms around her she starts to grind on me. Our neighbors are on both sides of us on the ground-level shooting fireworks off and drinking. And here we are on the balcony with my wife grinding on me. Suddenly, she pulls my dick out and starts jerking me off behind her back. Typically, she just plays like that. THIS TIME, she lifted her skirt and slid her panties down mid thigh and started rubbing my dick on her pussy and asshole while she jerked me off.

By this point, my dick is raging. I start fingering her and she's soaked. So, I go in. Start thrusting away with all the fireworks going off, lol. I'm reaching around and fingering her, she's really getting into it, leaning against the rail and grinding back and forward on me while I take her from behind. At this point, fuck it. If we get caught, we get caught. I pull her top down and keep doing my thing.

It was rather exhilarating. Round two was in bed with the blinds open and fireworks in the background.

Best 4th of July ever.

[gq_devil]

I believe many of us have a closet exhibitionist wife/gf. I've briefly discussed some of her activities on this board and I'm going to post more detailed experiences soon. But she really a homebody. She would never do a nude or top less beach, no strip clubs, rarely wears skirts and always has on undies. Her most common closet exhibitionist act involves windows and patios. She's notorious for being fully nude in view of them.

It began as a college student and she still does this to this very day. I have written about one instance and the pictures of her are online but for those not familiar with story, I basically came home and my wife was in the living room, laying nude on the floor while studying for an upcoming test. She was laying on her stomach, legs spread wide, ass facing the glass and her head deep in her books. The kicker, she had the blinds pulled all the way back and we lived on the bottom floor of a major apartment complex. The lawn crew got an unobstructed view of her shaved pussy. She says the light doesn't allow outsiders to view in the house. She believes that to this day to the point where we will have sex on the floor of our living room with the blinds fully open.

She also gotten dressed in front of multiple windows when traveling. She usually comes out the shower nude, then oils and gets dressed all while standing and looking outside. She's added the balcony to her closet exhibitionist act. For this she's gone onto the balcony in only a short shirt that often time barely covers her the top of her ass and always leaves her pussy mound viewable. She pretends to be check the weather or just observing the scenery.


The most daring closest exhibition act has to be NOLA. She refuses to wear anything the majority of time in our hotel room and the room had large French doors which when open allow those from the hotel across from us unobstructed views. The night before we left, we had sex with both doors to the balcony fully open.

By far the most exciting, longest and more innocent event she's done was to wear a swimsuit to a crowded pool that became virtually transparent when it got wet. She bought it online, her first bikini ever actually so she claimed deniability.

[stevezr1]

..........................Bonnie's evolution of exhibitionism:
I've written about most of the following here at some time or another. This is an abbreviated account of my wife's progression through the years
with her unusual brand of deniable exhibitionism.
...The wife:
* Bonnie stands about 5'4 ", about 115 lbs. and full "C" cup tits, and is often described as quite beautiful. First let me say that Bonnie has never acknowledged the fact that she is in any way an exhibitionist. In my opinion, she is what I'd call a closet exhibitionist. The word "nudist" is not in her vocabulary. We never discuss any aspect of her obvious penchant for her exhibitionism because it results in denial, and if pushed, distress. She has never shown any inclination to flash any part of her body to anyone at any time. Rather, she seems to enjoy being seen or "caught" nude or topless in situations where there is even the slightest hint of a justifiable reason for her to be in such a state. And of course, only when she wants to. I can only try create the right opportunities for her to do her thing.
....Early Days:
* During our first summer together I introduced Bonnie (and myself) to what was soon to become a major public nude beach. She really enjoyed getting naked in the dunes and away from others. She preferred to not to mingle with others, mostly for fear if being seen by co-work, relatives or neighbors.
* Vacation, New Freedom: The following winter, we opted for a trip to Jamaica. It was obvious how much more comfortable Bonnie could be naked in close proximity with others with no chance of being seen by co-workers or neighbors.
.... Status Quo:
* The next few years the same scenarios, local nude beach in summer, Caribbean in winter. Somewhere in between we become husband and wife. Along the way Bonnie pick a few minor variations of her exhibitionism, and a fetish or two.
... Defiance:
* On a few occasions we visited beaches both in the U.S and the islands where we expected to get naked, but found it was not the norm. She can become very upset in such situations. Once on Cape Cod, far from home, that was the case. Frustrated that we couldn't get access to a nude beach we settled for a public family beach. As soon as we sat down, she just pulled off her top, tits on full display. I noticed a lot of bugged-eyes focused on her. I know Bonnie got a lot of satisfaction from that. A few other similar episodes have played out where her defiance prompted others to follow her topless lead.
.... A New Beach Choice:
* At our local beach, to avoid being spotted by those she might know, we began going to very remote beaches. Bonnie seemed to enjoy this more than the nude beach, giving the passing boater, beachcomber or surf fisherman an eyeful.
* While illegal, she was still comfortable with this because she still claimed to be fearful of being seen by co-workers & friends. And since we could see anyone approaching from a distance we could be assured it was not someone we knew. It became clear to me at some point that Bonnie had become fond of being “caught" naked rather than just "being" naked. I noticed that when a beachcomber or fisherman would wander nearby, she seemed to purposely not to notice them. But when near, she'd feign slight surprise, yet not cover up. Maybe it is a variation of the "only female naked" scenario she enjoys.
..... Nudity at Home:
* We've always enjoyed nude sunning on our patio since our first summer together. But it was always done by us being careful no neighbors could see. The homes are very close together, but a small area of the patio is quite private.
.... A Reversal:
* Over the past few years some substantial changes with Bonnie have slowly come about. Somehow the fear of being seen by neighbors has flipped around completely. I believe it all began when my plan of growing shrub screens on all sides of our tiny back yard started to develop with trees and shrubs filling in, and with the addition of strategically placed large garden shed.
* With the new-found semi private atmosphere, Bonnie began sunning openly on all areas of the patio. She did this knowing full well there were some areas where the trees and shrubs did not offer complete privacy.
* Another year goes by and Bonnie began venturing out into the yard sunning, then even tending to her flowers sometimes nude, sometimes topless, and other combinations of undress as the mood struck her. It is obvious to me that by now all neighbors in all directions have see my wife nude at some time or another. When I mention this, she just shrugs it off and says she doubts that. It seems like Bonnie has developed a fondness for showing herself off to the neighbors, something she would have be mortified about just a few years earlier.
..... The Walk-ins:
* At first, she was caught nude by a male co-worker who came to drop something off. This is something that was most dreaded just a few short years ago. When no one answered the door he came around back, catching her nude on a lounge chair. Bonnie seemed to brush that off, but I knew that was a huge rush for her, especially since it is someone she works with daily. We have talked about that many times, and says how embarrassed she is every single working day, knowing that he has seen her completely naked. Yet it is obvious she cherishes the moment he saw her naked, and would have it no other way.
* Since then, in various other scenarios, she has been surprised while naked by other male and female friends of ours as well as other neighbors.
* After the first episode I installed a inside latch on our gate to the backyard, but she always insists it doesn't need to be locked. So yes, while she will sometimes later pretend to be annoyed when caught, she is enjoying it immensely.
* Bonnie always the defiant one, now makes little or no effort to cover up when caught naked in our yard.
...... Now The Front Yard:
* The latest development, Bonnie has been wear light tops without a bra when gardening in the front yard, with people driving and walking by within feet of her. He big "C" twins are starting to hang and swing a bit, and while she normally wears something a little tight to keep them under control, they are still quite a sight. So now she's attracting attention from passersby.
* Just this past Saturday I was working in the back yard and Bonnie goes around front to tend to her plants out there. She was wearing normal shorts, and one of my men's athletic undershirts, and no bra of course. I thinking that was a little revealing with her tits swinging free while she's working. A half hour later, Bonnie comes through the gate from the front yard. Her shirt is totally transparent! And she was dripping wet. I guess she saw my wide-eyed reaction and said "It was really hot out front, so I just kept hosing myself down" Oh my.
... Bonnie is Loving the World she Created!

[nudony]

Originally Posted by stevezr1

... Defiance:
* On a few occasions we visited beaches both in the U.S and the islands where we expected to get naked, but found it was not the norm. She can become very upset in such situations. Once on Cape Cod, far from home, that was the case. Frustrated that we couldn't get access to a nude beach we settled for a public family beach. As soon as we sat down, she just pulled off her top, tits on full display. I noticed a lot of bugged-eyes focused on her. I know Bonnie got a lot of satisfaction from that. A few other similar episodes have played out where her defiance prompted others to follow her topless lead.

I call those "f**k it!" moments.

I have a few of those in my memory banks!

The latest one was not that long ago. My GF was running late, naked and going through her drawers looking for underwear:
Her: "Darn it I can't seem to find any underwear!
Me: "I think there's some in the washing machine...it'll only take a few minutes to dry..."
Her, looking irritated: "Ah f**k it. I just won't wear any!"
{Proceeds to put on her thin one-piece jumper shorts that leave little to the imagination, least of all her nipple-pokies}
Her: "Does it look ok?"
Me: "Well..."
Her: "Ok good; see you later!"
{Door slams}

A few years earlier with the ex. It's late, she's naked and looking for a thingy (whatever it was I don't remember)
Her: "Where is that thingy?"
Me: "Well Babe...I think I left it in the car..."
Her: "Argh...how could you forget to bring it in? Well f**k it...it's dark anyway..."
{Grabs the car keys and proceeds to walk into the driveway - which is actually well lit - to the car completely naked. Comes back moments later}
Her: "Yay...I found it!" As she stand naked waving the thingy like nothing just happened.
Me thinking to myself: "Wow. Just wow."

Whether those "f**k it!" moments are true frustration, or closet exhibitionism "disguised" as frustration...I just can't tell. There's a part of me that thinks my GF had always intended to go out with just a thin sheet of clothing on her, as she's very proud of her poky nipples...and that my ex knew she was about to "streak" our street. And they used "fake frustration" as the perfect excuse for their closet exhibitionism.

I think not knowing for sure is part of the whole thrill of it!

[stevezr1]

Originally Posted by stevezr1

..........................Bonnie's evolution of exhibitionism:
I've written about most of the following here at some time or another. This is an abbreviated account of my wife's progression through the years
with her unusual brand of deniable exhibitionism...........
............
B]... Defiance:[/B]
* On a few occasions we visited beaches both in the U.S and the islands where we expected to get naked, but found it was not the norm. She can become very upset in such situations. Once on Cape Cod, far from home, that was the case. Frustrated that we couldn't get access to a nude beach we settled for a public family beach. As soon as we sat down, she just pulled off her top, tits on full display. I noticed a lot of bugged-eyes focused on her. I know Bonnie got a lot of satisfaction from that. A few other similar episodes have played out where her defiance prompted others to follow her topless lead.

Originally Posted by nudony

I call those "f**k it!" moments.................
..................
A few years earlier with the ex. It's late, she's naked and looking for a thingy (whatever it was I don't remember)
Her: "Where is that thingy?"
Me: "Well Babe...I think I left it in the car..."
Her: "Argh...how could you forget to bring it in? Well f**k it...it's dark anyway..."
{Grabs the car keys and proceeds to walk into the driveway - which is actually well lit - to the car completely naked. Comes back moments later}
Her: "Yay...I found it!" As she stand naked waving the thingy like nothing just happened.
Me thinking to myself: "Wow. Just wow."

Whether those "f**k it!" moments are true frustration, or closet exhibitionism "disguised" as frustration...I just can't tell. There's a part of me that thinks my GF had always intended to go out with just a thin sheet of clothing on her, as she's very proud of her poky nipples...and that my ex knew she was about to "streak" our street. And they used "fake frustration" as the perfect excuse for their closet exhibitionism.

I think not knowing for sure is part of the whole thrill of it!

Great examples Nudony!
But yes, seems like many women just need an excuse to show their naked bodies.
So regarding women exhibitionists using Plausible Deniability as their shield, I suppose there are a few variations:

. Excusable exhibitionism
. Frustration & Defiance created exhibitionism
. Purposely careless exhibitionism
. Feigning unawareness
. Intruded privacy ruse
....................... Any other variations of this ploy? I say ploy, but in many cases, is it partly subconscious decisions that compel women to derive their pleasure through exhibitionism?
.

[romikk32]

I used to adjust the blinds so that my wife could be seen in the shower in old school floor to ceiling windows from below at night..but since renovations it doesn't work like that anymore. Last night ihappened to be out taking trash to the curb, and could see that she leaves the window open and curtain s wide open, ...and now that the house next door is occupied by a group of college aged guys, she may be giving them a look see..knowing that i like her showing off. Hoping they take her up on help around the house...

[nudony]

Originally Posted by stevezr1

Great examples Nudony!
But yes, seems like many women just need an excuse to show their naked bodies.
So regarding women exhibitionists using Plausible Deniability as their shield, I suppose there are a few variations:

. Excusable exhibitionism
. Frustration & Defiance created exhibitionism
. Purposely careless exhibitionism
. Feigning unawareness
. Intruded privacy ruse
....................... Any other variations of this ploy? I say ploy, but in many cases, is it partly subconscious decisions that compel women to derive their pleasure through exhibitionism?
.

I think you've pretty much covered it!

And your question got me thinking...

In my experience with my ex and fiancée, it does seem to be an impulsive/compulsive thing. There isn't much thought going into it; just a sudden and immediate "compulsion" to exhibit. As opposed to "true" exhibitionists who actually rationalize it and plan it out. So I would say yes; at least from what I've seen it's been partly subconscious.

Then, when they become aware of what they're doing, or the results of their impulsiveness, that's when they rationalize it using Plausible Deniability. They try to rationalize to themselves, and others, that this couldn't possibly be exhibitionism.

That actually makes a lot of sense to me. My fiancée "falling over"; and then her just rolling around in the surf with her legs open and butt in the air had been totally impulsive. She accidentally found herself in a "exhibitionistic-prone" situation, and impulsively embraced it; undoubtedly getting an adrenaline rush from the situation. When she became aware that the entire beach had seen her vagina in it's full glory, her instinct for self-preservation kicked in, the adrenaline rush subsided, and she rationalized that this had all been an accident.

And now that I think about it more, there is an "adrenaline rush" component there as well. At least in my experience.

Good insight Steve! Maybe we'll get to the bottom of what makes a "closet exhibitionist!"