NON-VEG JOKES!!!!!!

[kapil1903]

1. The bride tells her husband (18+)

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

[kapil1903]

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,
"What are these, Dad?


To which the man matter-of-factly replies,
"Those are called condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively.
Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks,
"Why are there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one
for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks,
"Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO
for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks,
picking up a 12 pack.


With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied,

"Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one
for March........"

[kapil1903]

A male patient is lying in bed in
the hospital, wearing an oxygen
mask over his mouth and nose,
still heavily sedated from a difficult
four hour, surgical procedure.

A young, student nurse appears
to give him a partial sponge bath.
Nurse", he mumbles, from behind
the mask. "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse
replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body
and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse,
are my testicles black?" Concerned
that he may elevate his vitals from
worry about his testicles, she
overcomes her embarrassment
and sheepishly pulls back the
covers. She raises his gown, holds
his penis in one hand and his
testicles in the other, lifting and
moving them around.
Then, she takes a close look and
says, "There's nothing wrong
with them, Sir!!"

The man pulls off his oxygen
mask, smiles at her and says very
slowly, "Thank you very much.
That was wonderful, but, listen
very, very closely...
A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a
c k?

[kapil1903]

Teacher: why did you laugh?
Boy: I saw one strap of your bra.
Teacher: get out of the class for 1 week.
Two boys laughed, Teacher: why did you laugh:
boys: I saw both straps. Teacher: get out for 1 month. She bent down to take chalk, jony started walking out.
Teacher: jony, why you are going out?
Jony: what I just saw I think my school days are over.