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  #1  
Old 12-19-2012, 03:39 AM
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csh150 csh150 is offline
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Post Amanda loses her panties

(First time writing here, but don't be gentle , tell me if it sucks. I'm going to try to keep it short as well.)

Amanda was always self conscious of her big round bottom, which was constantly being made fun of by her friends, siblings, and even her own mother. She did every exercise she could possibly find to try and shrink it, which included a daily cardio routine consisting of running for an hour, give or take.

However, occasionally she would slip up and eat the occasional bag of junk food at her community college, prompting others to point and laugh, constantly chanting "junk food booty!". Amanda was used to being bullied in a lot of ways due to her large but extremely sexy bottom, which even had its own Facebook group dedicated to it created by those who did not like her.

Amanda had an amazing body to accompany her bottom, which was the perfect complement to it. This made it a real shame that she was ridiculed for it consistently. She even had decent sized breasts with dime sized nipples that would occasionally poke through her shirts on cold days.

With an air of bravery though, she decided after her pick me up morning coffee that this was NOT going to be one of those "down on herself" days. She was going to embrace her ghetto booty no matter what! Without realizing there were a gang of boys going around pantsing women that she could have easily heard about on the news... Amanda decided she was going to at least partially bare her big booty to the world!

Standing up and dropping her pajama pants to the floor, Amanda stepped out of them smiling and went outside. Unfortunately forgetting her keys, she went out in only a T shirt and white silk panties that were practically starting to tear from the size of her rear end. She then saw something a bit odd...

Her neighbor, Mrs. White, was outside doing her typical summer gardening in just her bikini bottoms and a rather short, black T shirt. Sandy White's bottom was very round and feminine, certainly comparable to Amanda's, but not quite as defined. Armed with a fishing pole, a boy riding shotgun in a convertible with a very big grin on his face, hooked Sandy's bikini bottoms...

Before Amanda could yell "Mrs. White!", they were torn right off of her magnificent ass. Mrs. White was stunned for a while, bent over bottomless leaning towards her flowers, before she realized what had just happened. She chased after the boys unsuccessfully, her buttcheeks jiggling all the way, this caused Amanda to giggle a little.

After a few neighbors stared at Mrs. White's bottomless body, she headed back inside. Amanda then proceeded to go on her usual run sans pants, but wasn't about to even consider losing her undies. Amanda's big bottom bounced and wobbled much to the joy of the boys and men in the neighborhood, and she even stopped to pose for a picture!

However, she stopped to pose at an entirely wrong time... when the neighborhood boy, blushing and grinning with glee moved towards Amanda's pantied booty for his friend to take a picture of him with it... he decided to get a little daring, being inspired by the boys who stole her neighbor's bikini earlier. The little monster slapped her bottom, causing Amanda to yell "Hey you little brat! Who do you think you are?!" causing a GREAT ENF looking moment in the picture, which got the hand contact with her badonkadonk in the shot.

This was Amanda's biggest mistake. The boy said "Hey, you guys come here!" as a car pulled around the corner... "Oh hey Frito butt!" said Amanda's former crush Derrick, who had recently turned into a jerk towards her like everyone else. Pointing at the now extremely nervous big bottomed girl, Derrick said with a sly grin "It's time to show the world why you cry all the time like a little baby, let's expose that booty!"

The other boy did the honors. With a feat of amazing strength, he grabbed the waistband of her sexy panties and ripped them RIGHT off of her bottom! "Now its time for a little jog..." Derrick said, snapping a picture of her bare crotch as everyone in the neighborhood was watching behind her, pointing and laughing.

This was going to be a rough day for Amanda and her big booty.
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  #2  
Old 12-19-2012, 11:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainQuixote View Post
Well...

It doesn't suck.

Of course I would like it. It plays to my particular interests, completely improbable events made even more improbably by the double occurance of stolen panties. Some like their ENF realistic. I've always been the opposite. I also love it that you didn't take a whole lot of time getting to it. Again, a lot of people like a good build up, but I'm the opposite. I like getting right to and staying with it. That was always the point of the Breeze stories of course.

By the way, I appreciate that you make it clear that Amanda is attractive in spite of (or because of?) her big bottom. There's a difference between big and beautiful and just big.

If there is one complaint at all it is only that I don't know what her front side looks like, which is kind of important in a bottomless story.

Thanks. And keep running, Amanda. I'll keep following.
That is the exact brand if criticism I needed, I can't believe I left out what her front looks like! *facepalm* but thank you, I always love it straight to the point and ABSURDLY unrealistic!
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  #3  
Old 12-23-2012, 02:19 PM
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I enjoyed this, especially because of the main character's name. I used to date a girl called Amanda, and I enjoyed reading about "her" losing her panties (even though I'm sad to say her booty wasn't as nice and big as your Amanda's).
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Old 12-31-2012, 12:45 PM
cpower36 cpower36 is offline
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Todd is right- it certainly doesnt suck. I'd also agree that there is nothing wrong with a story that just gets on with it without a long build up (like mine!). Theres also nothing wrong with having improbable events in there. In fact, your story reminded me of newspaper cartoon strip, fast moving and fun. If I could offer one bit of advice, it would be the same as someone once gave to me. Show-don't tell. It makes the reader imagine things for themselves rather than being directed by the author. It worked wonders for my writing. Still a good job though- much better than my first effort was.
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Old 03-27-2013, 02:23 PM
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Great story, gives potential for a continuation. Would love to see it continued!
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