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#1
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Pulling the pud?
Just been thinking back to earlier days when I discovered masturbation (many years ago). It was always referred to as "wanking" or "tossing" in England but it was only later that I discovered other terminology presumably American(eg. "spanking the monkey")
If I had asked a girl to help (when first experimenting and before full sex) I would often have to show her how to "toss me off" -nobody would have understood any other phrase. These days sex seems to occur much sooner and I wondered if anyone recalls having the pleasure of introducing a girl to the delights and how it went, and how you referred to it (if at all) Would also love to learn any other terminology I might have missed! |
#2
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Well I believe “choking the chicken” is an art that guys have mastered.
Not to say I don’t enjoy a woman “tugging the toed”, they just don’t seem to get the pressure just right. I do manage to work through it tho. All about practice I figure. |
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#3
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Thank you Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters
There seem to be a lot of songs that refer to the subject -"Pictures of Lily" etc but my favourite was "The w*nker's song" by Ivor Biggun. He mentions "a quick one off the wrist" as well as "pulling my pud"
I have used this in my little topical nursery rhyme concerning the latest F1 scandal: Little Christian Horner Sat in a corner Pulling his pud (not a pie!) He tugged at his bone As he text on his phone And said "what a bad boy am I. " |
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#5
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I found a funny list, my favorite is "Giving yourself a hand" 😁
https://mashable.com/article/masturb...uphemisms-list |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to rudolfm For This Useful Post: | ||
#6
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I've heard the term and used the term, "flumping my pud" which I find hilarious. There are many terms for masturbation, some equally funny.
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#7
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Warning
As a word of caution to the ladies if ya do tug the toad, it will grow into something more resembling a “toad-stool” than a “frog or prince….” But go ahead and kiss it, just to be sure the prince isn’t in there somewhere. 😂
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#8
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[QUOTE=derekjayess;3363405]There seem to be a lot of songs that refer to the subject -"Pictures of Lily" etc but my favourite was "The w*nker's song" by Ivor Biggun. He mentions "a quick one off the wrist" as well as "pulling my pud"
Listen to Jackson Browne's song "Rosie" |
#9
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I've always liked "teaching my children to fly".
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#10
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Hot Wife
I've been married to my husband since we were 20 years old. I love to fuck and suck dicks and I am an exhibitionist. I danced naked in my 20s and fucked around quite a bit, so did my husband. I calmed down some and mostly fucked my husband (sometimes one of his friends or a neighbor with a big dick) in my 30s and 40s and we built a profitable business. Sometime around 50 I went through menapause and my sex drive went through the roof. It seemed like Hubby couldn't seem to get it up. (He's always had a small dick but he can lick pussy better than anyone I've seen) I started sneaking around and watching him. He seemed to be jerking off to everything. Sure he gets a hard on for porn and even the cute next door girl so he had nothing left for me. We had several talks about this but he couldn't seem to stop. I think I'm still a decent good looking woman so I started showing off my tits more and flashing my bare pussy at guys. soon I had plenty of guys wanting to fuck me. One night several years ago I got Hubby asleep with sleeping pills and got his dick in a chastity cage. I got him a good one too, a Ms Lori. Now I'm the only one who touches his tiny dick. Once a month I chain him to the bed, take off his cage, tease him for an hour or two until I let him cum in my hand. He has to lick it off and then he's locked back up. He gets to watch black men with huge dicks fuck me and then lick me clean. Even my girlfriends say he's the best pussy licker they've ever seen, even better than me. This is what happens if you jerk off too much, you become a pussy slave. By the way the second picture is a good one of me to jerk off to. Print it out, hang it on the wall and see if you can hit my vagina with your wad. Cum hard for me now.
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