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Chapter 6 Part 1
MICKIE’S TITLE RAMPAGE
I wasn't able to get as much done as I had hoped and I'm going on vacation this week so I'm going to be breaking this chapter up into THREE parts. The chapter spans three weeks so I'll be making each week into its own part and have the big climax (giggity) released on WrestleMania. Personally, I think it will actually work out better to have this storyline cumulate at the biggest event of the year and then let the new one start at the next event.
Chapter 6 - Star Making Performance
WWE Vengeance had received over 700,000 buys while WWE After Hours had garnered 400,000. Over a million households had bought WWE content that night. Those were numbers that were usually only reserved for WrestleMania. But WWE’s controversial new content meant that the attention on the WWE was at an all-time high. Analysts fully expected the premiere episode of WWE After Hours to follow the incredible trend of the second Raw Post-Show. The Mickie James vs Victoria match had now surpassed the first show with the Mickie James vs Beth Phoenix Match and was beginning to close in on two million buys. Perverts all over the world were tuning in to see Mickie James and what was now referred to as ‘WWE Porn’.
Mickie James had long since been the hottest act in the WWE. And now that she was a full-blown face she was causing a halo effect. Anyone facing her was booed like a monster heel, as seen with the Vengeance crowd’s harsh reception of Maria and Torrie Wilson while anyone that sided with Mickie was now considered a top-tier baby face as seen with their warm reception of ‘Broken’-Victoria. The Raw Writers scrambled to create an on-screen harem for the perverted Women’s Champion so that other divas would be able to receive a positive reaction from the crowd. But now that Mickie was such a monster baby face… the only option left in terms of opponents for her was to pit her against an actual heel.
Candice’s lack of wrestling ability kept her from being considered an actual contender for the Women’s Championship. So the writers’ attention turned to Amy ‘Lita’ Dumas and Melina Perez. The latter had finally caved and signed her new contract. Many believed that Melina had only agreed because she was sick of being considered the after-thought of the Raw Divas Division and wanted some attention for herself. Lita and Melina were both currently serving as valets for heel superstars Edge and Johnny Nitro. But after Mickie’s interactions with D-X had gone over so well, the common consensus was that having other talent share the screen with Mickie James-the-ratings-magnet would only be beneficial for getting the other characters over.
WWE Monday Night Raw - June 26 2006- Fayetteville North Carolina
Pyro explodes and the cameras pan around the arena to show the cheering crowd as Raw airs live from the Cumberland Crown County Coliseum.
J.R.: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Monday Night Raw! This is going to be one of the biggest Monday Night Raws you’ll ever see! Jim Ross and Jerry the King Lawler at ringside!
A graphic appears on screen and on the TitanTron promoting the big tag team match between Triple H and Shawn Michaels - D-X taking on Vince and Shane McMahon.
King: Are you ready for this? There they are! In action! In the ring! Against none other than the McMahons! That’s right! Shane and Vince McMahon teaming up tonight to go against D-X!
J.R.: The McMahons against D-X! Oh what a collision that’s gonna be! And that’s not all…
A new graphic appears showing John Cena and WWE and ECW Champion Rob Van Dam advertising the WWE Championship Match that Cena had been granted by RVD himself after he beat Sabu in an Extreme Lumberjack Match the night before at Vengeance.
J.R.: It keeps getting bigger! The WWE Title will be decided tonight! Cena, John Cena gets his rematch against the WWE Champion Rob Van Dam! What a main event!
A graphic of a widely smiling Mickie James appears on screen with the words ‘Mickie’s big surprise’ written on the bottom.
King: And that’s STILL not all! Women’s Champion Mickie James overcame the odds last night and she’s promised a special surprise for all of her perverts! J.R., you’ve been calling me a pervert for years!
J.R.: That I have, King.
Obsession sounds through the arena and the red hot South Carolina crowd comes unglued with a loud ovation of the Women’s Champion.
King: Oh boy! And here she comes now!
Mickie James comes jumping and skipping out from the back with the Women’s Championship on her shoulder. She wearing a brown top and brown boots with a brown camouflage skirt. The straps of her black bra and the waistband of her black panties are plainly visible.
But Mickie’s isn’t alone. Victoria is walking behind her. The broken diva is wearing black wrestling gear under an unzipped black hooded sweatshirt with the words ‘BROKEN B ITCH’ written across the front in red with black cracks going through them similar to the ECW logo. Vicky’s hood is up but her gaze is locked on Mickie so everyone can see her black face paint. This time instead of the word ‘broken’ there’s a thick, jagged, black crack going across her face that loosely resembles a long bolt of lightning. It starts at her right temple and goes across her eye and nose before it ends just about level with her mouth on the left side of her jaw.
Ring Announcer Lilian Garcia stands in the ring, “Please welcome the WWE Women’s Champion… and the woman who broke Trish Stratus, Maria, Beth Phoenix, Victoria and Torrie Wilson… MICKIE JAMES!” The red-hot, pervert-filled crowd gives Mickie an extremely loud welcome.
Mickie is a ball of energy as usual as she dashes from one side of the ramp to the other, greeting each cheering fan as she goes. Victoria follows behind her looking every bit like a silent bad-ass. The diva duo’s drastically different dispositions almost cause them to resemble a female version of Shawn Michaels and Diesel.
J.R.: In case you were one of the few people under eighteen who didn’t tune in to the premiere episode of WWE After Hours last night… it’s thanks to timely interference from that woman Victoria that Mickie James was able to overcome the odds and emerge victorious in her three-on-one Anything Goes Handicap Match last night.
King: Get with the times, J.R.! Victoria goes by ‘Vicky’ now.
Mickie reaches the bottom of the ramp and turns to the left. Her face lights up when she spots a group of men in camouflage uniforms similar to her skirt. It’s the 82nd Airborne Division from Ft. Bragg South Carolina. Mickie skips over to the soldiers and hops the barricade and proceeds to give each and every one of the ten men - plus a random woman who had gotten close enough - a long hug and a peck on the cheek.
J.R.: Well King, I think it’s safe to say that no one interacts with our great fans quite like Mickie James.
King: You’ve got that right! Did you see the show she and that one woman from the audience put on last night?
J.R.: I may have…
Mickie climbs back over the barricade and joins Victoria on the floor but she stops in her tracks when she spots a familiar face in the front row.
“IT’S YOU!” Mickie’s face lights up as she rushes over to the same slightly chubby, short haired woman from last night.
King: IT’S HER, J.R.!
J.R.: Yes, I see that!
Mickie once again hops the barricade and pulls the woman flush against her for a tight hug and then kisses her full on the lips which earns a loud pop from the live crowd. The female fan is wearing a brand new personally autographed Break a B itch t-shirt and was rewarded for her performance last night with a front row seat to the next night’s show.
Mickie eventually pulls away and leaves her die-hard fan with a wide smile. The proud pervert turns and sees Victoria waiting on the other side of the barricade and climbs over it straight into the broken diva’s strong arms. Vicky carries Mickie over to the ring and sets her down on the ring apron so Mickie can slip through the ropes and get in the ring.
Vicky joins Mickie in the ring while the Women’s Champion stands in the middle drinking in the adulation from the crowd. Victoria fetches a microphone and takes a deep breath as she stares down at it then turns and presents it to Mickie.
Mickie takes the microphone and the hot crowd finally quiets. “Okay… okay… so last night I said I had a special surprise for all my perverts. Well, you might remember that I competed in a special match two weeks ago…”
YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHH! The crowd cheers and turns their focus to Victoria as they start up a familiar chant. SHE’S A FREAK! SHE’S A FREAK!!
Vicky looks surprised while Mickie quickly calls out, “NOT THAT MATCH!” The crowd quiets. “Before that match… my wonderful perverts helped me interject myself into in a special Wet and Wild Water Contest between Torrie Wilson and Candice Michelle. And, of course, I won! Well… I didn’t know this at the time… but it turns out that the winner of that match got a special prize. Raw Magazine and Smackdown Magazine are both merging to form one WWE Magazine and to celebrate the occasion we’re launching a special first issue. Ladies and gentlemen, perverts all around the world, you’re looking at the Covergirl for the WWE Summer Special Magazine!”
Mickie spins around and strikes an almost Trish Stratus-like pose as she points up at the rafters.
A giant-sized version of the magazine cover drops down from the rafters. There’s a white WWE Logo in the top right corner but WWE Women’s Champion Mickie James is front and center. Mickie is wearing the Women’s Championship on her shoulder and a sexy leopard print bikini. She is also wearing a pair of dark sunglasses which she has pushed up onto her forehead so it shows the sexy glint in her eyes to go with her sultry smile .
“This is the summer of Mickie James and I think that cover proves it,” Mickie continues, “You guys know I always aim to please! So I made this an extra special photo shoot! But instead of just telling you about it… I’ll show you instead!”
The lights dim and everyone’s attention turns to the TitanTron.
A smiling Mickie is on screen wearing her leopard print bikini, sunglasses and Women’s Championship and is on the set of a backstage photoshoot.
“Hey guys!” Mickie calls out. “I beat two Playboy Covergirls in a water fight and so now I’m the covergirl for the Summer Special WWE Magazine. Our theme is a backyard barbecue pool party so here I am in my bikini ready to have a blast.” Mickie raises her arms over her head and does a spin but makes sure to give her thick bikini-clad ass a sexy wiggle when she’s turned around.
The scene skips ahead to Mickie posing in front of a cloudy sky backdrop. Mickie goes through a number of sensual poses. First with her sunglasses down, then with them pushed up onto her forehead, with her title belt on her shoulder and then with it around her waist.
But the video slows back down as Mickie turns around and undoes the back of her bikini top. Mickie looks back over her shoulder and flashes an impish smile at the camera as she slowly slides down her right bikini strap then switches sides and lowers the other one. Mickie looks back with a devilish smirk as she pulls off her bikini top and lets it dangle from her hand as she turns back around.
But the fans in the arena can be heard booing when the video blurs out Mickie’s naked chest.
“Micke… what are you doing?” the off-screen director asks. “You’re supposed to cover up…”
“Why would I do that?” Mickie inquires. “I’m gonna pose topless to thank my perverts for all their incredible support.”
“It’s not that kind of magazine!” the director argues.
Mickie tilts her head to the side in confusion and is still making no move to cover up her blurred chest. “But you said I was gonna have a photo spread and a centerfold…”
“Yes… you are… but with your top on,” the director insists.
Mickie folds her arms across her naked chest and glares at the off-screen director. “Okay… well now you and I have a problem.”
---End TitanTron Video---
The camera cuts back to Mickie and Vicky in the ring while the perverts in the crowd make their displeasure blatantly known. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
“Yeah...” Mickie says, “So as you can see that director and I had some creative differences… But just to prove a point… WHO HERE WANTS TO SEE ME TOPLESS!?”
The Cumberland Crown County Coliseum practically shakes from the enthusiastic response. YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Mickie smiles and pretends to count the fans but waves that off. “Yeah… that’s what I thought. AND THAT’S WHY… WE FIRED THAT GUY AND GOT SOMEONE ELSE!”
Mickie’s charisma, perverted or otherwise, is undeniable at this point. She has the red-hot pervert-filled crowd eating out of the palm of her hand.
“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… PERVERTS EVERYWHERE… PRESENTING: THE WWE SUMMER SPECIAL MAGAZINE… EXTRA PERVERTED EDITION!”
Mickie spins around and strikes another pose as she points her microphone up over her head.
Two more covers drop down from the rafters and hang in front and behind the original one. This cover shows a topless Mickie hugging the Women’s Championship to her chest. Her sunglasses are once again pushed up to her forehead and her head is tilted to side. But there’s an excited glint in her eyes and a mischievous smile on her face. The magazine cover has an extra subtitle on the bottom that says ”Includes an exclusive topless photoshoot of Mickie James”.
“This is the special version for my mature perverts only! It includes an exclusive topless photoshoot of yours truly and special centerfold where I’m only wearing wearing this championship… those sunglasses… and a big smile!”
YYYEEEAAAHHH! THANK YOU MICKIE! THANK YOU MICKIE! THANK YOU MICKIE!
Mickie steps back and throws her arm over Victoria’s shoulders then ‘whispers’ to her with her microphone still up. “It looks like they’re happy with the surprise. But I probably shouldn’t tell them that it’s the August Edition and doesn’t hit the stands until then…”
The crowd ‘overhears’ Mickie and is rather disappointed. BBBOOOOOOOOOO!
Mickie steps away from Vicky, “I know… I know… a month’s a long time to wait… SO HOW ‘BOUT I GIVE EVERYONE A SNEAK PEAK RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW!”
Mickie hands off her championship and her microphone to Victoria. Vicky stares reverently at the microphone and give a slight shudder but then steps back out of the way. Mickie crosses her hands over her chest and peels off her top leaving her in her black bra, boots and camo skirt. People can now see the dog tags Mickie’s wearing on account that they’re hanging in her exposed cleavage. Mickie tosses her top aside and then grabs her bra. The fans are going nuts.
YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME!
Metalingus sounds through the arena. Edge and Lita walk out through a cloud of smoke hand-in-hand and are immediately drowned in a raucous chorus of boos for crashing the party as they make their way down to the ring. Both Edge and Lita are in jeans with Edge wearing his ‘Sex and Violence’ Rated R Superstar t-shirt and Lita wearing a low cut spaghetti strap version of the same one.
BOOOOO! BOOOOO! BOOOOO! BOOOOO! BOOOOO!
Mickie scowls and remains standing in the middle of the ring in her black bra and camo skirt as she reclaims her championship and her microphone from Victoria. Edge goes around the ring and snags a microphone from the time keeper’s corner then he and Lita enter the ring.
“Hit the bricks, tramp,” Edge snaps. “Your little tits and ass show has just been cancelled. Get out of my ring before Lita beats your ass.”
But Mickie stands her ground and stares down Edge and Lita. “I’d love to see her try. I was here first. This is my ring. So how ‘bout you leave and come back when I’m done?”
OOOOHHH! The crowd cheers Mickie’s brash bravado.
“That’s exactly why I’m out here!” Edge yells. “I am sick of being disrespected! I’m the MVP of this show! I should be on the cover of magazines! I should be in the main event! And without a shadow of a doubt I should be the WWE Champion! I am sick of being overlooked in favor of John Cena, of Rob Van Dam and especially of some tramp who is only relevant because she tears women’s clothes off!”
“Refresh my memory, which one of us actually won their match last night?” Mickie counters. “You lost to one guy… while I took on three women and came out on top…”
OOOOOOOHHH! Mickie is not only standing her ground, she’s throwing shade!
“Shut up! Shut up!” Edge shouts. “I got screwed last…”
Mickie jumps all over that and cuts him off, “Screwed? No, no, honey. Vicky got screwed. I made sure of that.” Victoria shudders and gives an enthusiastic nod. “You ran head-first into a chair and got pinned clean in the middle of the ring.”
Edge takes a step back in surprise. He was out here to yell and complain. He didn’t expect to get taken to task by a woman in a bra.
“I… I can’t believe that people are actually calling you hardcore!” Edge eventually retorts. “I’m hardcore! At WrestleMania I stole the show by having the greatest hardcore match in history!”
“I’m a very special kind of hardcore,” Mickie replies. “But yeah… I remember WrestleMania… I went on after you and ended up winning this!” Mickie holds up her Women’s Championship. “I’ve been holding it ever since. Meanwhile, the last time you had gold was aaaall the way back in January when you cashed in your briefcase so you could spend two weeks as a transitional champion for John Cena!”
“For those two weeks Raw had the highest ratings it’s seen in years!” Edge exclaims.
“And now Raw’s ratings are even higher than that!” Mickie fires back. “We’ve been consistently pulling bigger ratings since Backlash!”
“You think you’re so special just ‘cause you’ve added sex to Raw!?” Edge demands. “Lita and I were having Live Sex Celebrations back when you were still trying to jump Trish Stratus!”
“Right, I remember that,” Mickie agrees, “You got ran off by John Cena and Lita was left unsatisfied.”
Mickie looks directly at Lita, “If you ever get tired of excuses and inadequacies… look me up. I’ll make you cum so hard that you’ll forget your own name!” Mickie points her mic at Victoria. “Right Vicky?”
“Oh God yes!” the broken diva gasps.
Lita goes to speak but Edge cuts her off. “Are you actually delusional enough to think that you could ever satisfy Lita as well as I can?”
“Weeeelll... I don’t like to toot my own horn… buuut… raise your hand if you’ve gotten a woman off in the ring!” Mickie raises her hand and makes a point of glancing around the ring then acts surprised when she notices her own raised hand. “Oh, would you look at that! Just me!”
YYYEEEAAAHHH! MIC-KIE! MIC-KIE! MIC-KIE!
Mickie once again steamrolls right over Edge. “You see, Edge, you may be the Rated R Superstar… but you keep forgetting one extremely important thing. I’M MICKIE JAMES, B*TCH! I’M RATED M! That means mature audiences only!!”
OOOOOOHHHH! RA-TED M! RA-TED M! RA-TED M!
“THAT IS IT!” Edge roars. “It’s time you were taught your place! Lita… get her!” Edge steps back and nudges his ‘steamy sexpot’ forward.
“Easy, Vicky, it’s okay,” Mickie cuts off Victoria as she moves to cut off Lita. “I can handle her. These two decided to interrupt us when I was about to give the perverts a treat. I think it’ll be fitting if Lita ends up doing it in my place. Heads up Fayetteville! Looks like Mickie’s gonna have to break a b*tch!” Mickie drops her microphone and holds her championship in one hand as she starts bouncing on her toes while the fans cheer and start chanting. YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH! BREAK A B*TCH! BREAK A B*TCH! BREAK A B*TCH!
Lita glares at Mickie and takes a step forward... then looks over at Victoria… and then shakes her head and bails out of the ring. Edge growls and follows after her.
“YOU KNOW WHAT!?” Edge yells. “THIS WHOLE SHOW’S A JOKE! You’re a joke! RVD as WWE Champion is a joke! The fact that John Cena has a title match tonight is a joke! These hicks don’t deserve to see us perform! WE’RE OUT OF HERE!”
Edge drops his microphone and leads Lita over to the barricade. The couple are escorted up the stairs by security but stop so Edge can harass ‘Humpty Dumpty’ the t-shirt vendor. Edge eventually takes all his t-shirts from the stand and then he and Lita storm out of the arena.
The camera cuts back to Mickie James who is still standing in the ring with Victoria.
“Wow…” Mickie remarks after she picks up her microphone. “What a drama queen.” The crowd pops and Mickie turns back to the camera. “NOW! As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted…”
But the Women’s Champion is interrupted yet again.
The fans boo as the red carpet is rolled out and photographers swarm the stage as Melina and the new Intercontinental Champion Johnny Nitro strut their way out from the back. Johnny Nitro is wearing sunglasses, gray boots, his obnoxious gray fur coat and blue tights with his newly won Intercontinental Championship dangling out from the front. Melina is wearing pale blue boots and a short yellowy-beige dress that shows off her impressive cleavage when her boyfriend dips her.
The cameras cut back to Mickie in time to catch her giving an exasperated sigh. Nitro and Melina reach the ring and Melina does a wiggle before she lifts her leg up onto the ring apron and does her signature split entrance. But, of course, Nitro positions himself in just the right spot to keep anyone from seeing his girlfriend’s exposed panties while she does her split. Melina gets in the ring and stands with her legs spread so Nitro can slide in under the bottom rope and briefly pose on his side before standing back up.
Melina stalks forward and yanks Mickie’s microphone right out of her hand. Mickie blinks and stares down at her empty hand. Victoria goes to charge Melina but Mickie sticks out her arm and holds her back. “What do you want?”
“I’m actually impressed Mickie,” Melina announces. “You’ve been the top diva here in the WWE since Backlash. But I’m here to tell you that your time on top is so over. You’ve only been on top for as long as you have because you haven’t faced me.”
“Really?” Mickie asks without her microphone.
“Yeah, really,” Melina retorts. “Let me show you something…” Melina turns and motions to her boyfriend and the championship belt hanging out of his pants. “You are looking at the only man holding singles gold here on Raw. I give you the new Intercontinental Champion: Johnny Nitro!” Nitro holds his arms out and then strikes a pose while the fans boo. “And I’ve decided that it’s time for me to take my rightful place in the spotlight.” Melina looks up at Mickie’s magazine cover and scoffs with disdain. “You’re going to have to change your magazine cover. Because soon I’m going to have a championship to match Johnny’s. Your little ‘summer of Mickie’ is going to end early and I’ll be the new top diva in the WWE. So why don’t you just hand over that Women’s Championship now and save yourself the trouble and embarrassment.”
Mickie raises an eyebrow then slowly undoes the snaps on her belt and makes to hold it out towards Melina. But then she yanks it back and sets it down on the ground in front of her.
“NO ONE’S HANDING YOU ANYTHING!” Mickie shouts loud enough for most of the arena to hear her. “YOU WANT MY TITLE? COME AND TAKE IT!”
Melina glares at Mickie and takes a couple steps towards her… BUT GETS BLINDSIDED BY VICTORIA! Melina drops to the mat. Mickie grabs Victoria and pulls her back while Nitro scrambles out of the ring and reaches in to grab his girlfriend and pull her to safety.
But then Mickie dives after Melina and manages to catch her by the dress just as Nitro is pulling her out through the ropes. The cameras are in the perfect position to catch Melina staring up at Mickie with a shocked and horrified expression while the Women’s Champion leers back at her with her signature crazed gaze.
Johnny Nitro keeps pulling while Mickie holds Melina’s dress in place. The result is that Melina slides out of the ring and her dress.
YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH! The fans pop as Melina lands on the floor and staggers backwards clad in only her low cut pale blue bra that shows off her impressive cleavage and nearly half of her large, tanned, surgically enhanced 38D breasts. The panties that Johnny Nitro had previously blocked from view are now exposed as a light blue thong that perfectly frames Melina’s round tanned ass. Melina wraps her arms around herself and lets out one of her signature high-pitched screams, ”EEEEIIIIIAAAHH!”
Mickie staggers backwards and holds her ears while Johnny Nitro pulls off his obnoxious gray coat and wraps it around his nearly naked girlfriend. Melina pulls the coat closed and glares at Mickie as she picks up her microphone.
“Sorry about that Melina!” Mickie calls out to her furious adversary. “Vicky’s a little overprotective of me. But that was a free preview of what’s in store for you if you’re serious about challenging for my title. What you and Edge both seem to forget is that here on Raw we earn our title shots! I had to earn my shot against Trish… and I won. Vicky, Beth and Maria all earned their shots against me… but they all lost. If you want a title shot… you’ve gotta get through Vicky to get it. And if you somehow manage that… chances are you’ll end up ten-times more embarrassed than you were just now.”
Obsession plays and Mickie and Vicky are left standing tall in the ring while Nitro and Melina beat a hasty retreat. The camera takes one last shot of the bra-clad Mickie James underneath her extra perverted WWE Magazine Cover before Raw goes to its first commercial.
Back from the commercial break, Mickie and Vicky are walking backstage. Mickie has her Women’s Championship on her shoulder and is still down to her bra.
Carlito appears in his yellow ‘Spit or Swallow’ bad apple t-shirt.
“Hey… nice job holding your own back there,” Carlito greets the Women’s Champion.
“Aw, thanks Carlito!” Mickie replies. “You were watching? I didn’t know you were pervert!”
Carlito takes a step back. “Carlito’s not a pervert. Carlito’s cool.”
Mickie shakes her head, “But haven’t you heard? Being a pervert is cool now.”
“Whatever,” Carlito says, “Last night I got screwed out of the Intercontinental Championship. Everyone saw that I had Shelton Benjamin beat… but Johnny Nitro stole it from me! And if he thinks for just one second that I’m gonna let him get away with my championship… he’s got another thing coming!”
Mickie flashes him a brilliant smile. “Carlito… are you offering to have our back dealing with Nitro and Melina?”
“Well… that girlfriend of his is always a pain-in-the-ass…” Carlito admits.
Carlito blinks in surprise when Mickie suddenly wraps him in tight hug. “I know you have your own reasons for helping out… but thank you! This’ll keep both of us from being screwed over!”
Mickie pulls away and skips off while Victoria remains behind. The broken diva takes a moment to stare at Carlito’s t-shirt but then she scoffs and shakes her head as she follows after Mickie.
The show continues with Umaga squashing Kamala and his handler Kim Chee and then shows the finalists for the 2006 Diva Search which is being hosted by the Miz and Ashley Massaro. J.R. and King hype the showdown between D-X and the McMahons and the WWE Championship Match between Rob Van Dam and John Cena.
The cameras go backstage and show Maria in the interview area. She’s wearing a snug black dress lined in silver that matches her silver eyeshadow. “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time, tonight he will challenge Rob Van Dam for the WWE Championship… John Cena!”
Cena walks on screen in his black ‘Hustle Loyalty Respect’ t-shirt and camouflage baseball cap that does nothing to conceal the black eye he’s sporting from last night.
“And John,” Maria addresses her guest, “tonight you have a chance to regain your title for the first time since One Night Stand.”
“Maria, you look good!” Cena remarks. “I don’t know how to tell you this… but One Night Stand wasn’t my finest hour. I mean, there was a lot riding on that night and uh stuff didn’t exactly go my way. But you know as I saw earlier tonight, there’s two things I could do about it. I could interrupt Mickie James… I could march down to the ring and get my ass handed to me on the microphone by a woman in a bra. I could call her joke, I could tell everyone that they’re a joke and that it’s a joke that I’m not champion. And the guy who’s champion is a joke and the guy who’s fighting the champion’s a joke and get so mad that I just storm out of the arena with a sl*t on my arm and a stack of t-shirts that smell like fart juice.”
“But it turns out the mentally unbalanced Women’s Champion was the one actually making sense out there,” Cena continues as he starts to get hyped up. “This is Monday Night Raw! We earn our title shots here! Since One Night Stand I’ve had stitches in my head, my eye glued shut and I’m black and blue all over! Since One Night Stand I’ve been hit with TVs, put through tables, worn steel chairs as headgear and had chunks of singapore cane in my forehead! Since One Night Stand never once did I cry foul or beg for some sleazy one-sided rematch. What I did do was earn the respect of Rob Van Dam and got a shot at the WWE Championship!”
Cena stares into the camera and addressed his opponent directly, “Rob, thank you. Thank you for making the WWE Championship once again part of my business. But I got news for you. I’m bigger, stronger and more focused than ever! And tonight… simply put… I’m gonna take care of business!” Cena does his signature salute then walks off and leaves Maria alone.
But not for long. Before the camera can cut someone places their hands on Maria’s shoulders.
”Mickie’s looking for you.”
Maria lets out a terrified squeak and slowly looks back over her shoulder to see Victoria standing behind her.
“NOOOO!” Maria screams and tries to run but Victoria catches her by the back of her dress and easily hefts the backstage interviewer over her shoulder.
“No running this time,” Victoria states as she carries the kicking and struggling Maria away.
The cameraman follows Victoria all the way to the women’s locker room. The broken diva opens the door but stops short of going through. She turns and looks directly into the camera. “Mickie says you can come in.”
“I don’t want to go in!” Maria shrieks. “Please! Victoria! Put me down!”
“It’s Vicky now,” Victoria insists as she carries Maria inside the seemingly empty locker room. “Mickie! I got her!”
”I’m in the shower. Bring her in here.” Mickie’s voice responds.
Victoria carries Maria passed the benches and lockers and into the shower area where she sets the backstage interviewer/part-time wrestler down in front of a shower cubicle with its curtain drawn closed and the shower running inside. Maria is shaking and tries to run for it but Vicky wraps her arms around the smaller woman from behind and keeps her rooted in place.
A wet arm reaches out through the curtain and yanks it open. The crowd out in the arena erupts with a loud pop at the sight of a completely naked Mickie James. But she isn’t alone. An equally naked Torrie Wilson is pressed against Mickie’s back. Torrie’s right arm is wrapped around Mickie’s chest while her left one is going down between the Women’s Champion’s legs. Everything is covered but the fans can’t help breaking out a loud Holy Sh*t chant at the sight of the two naked divas in the shower together.
Torrie doesn’t even acknowledge Maria’s presence and continues suckling on Mickie’s neck.
Mickie smirks at Maria who is staring at her and her shower buddy in shock, “Maria… you didn’t think I forgot about you, did you?”
“I… I…” Maria stammers.
“You surprised me last night,” Mickie admits. “You hit me with some pretty good shots. But I think an apology is in order.”
“I’M SORRY!” Maria immediately blurts out. “Mickie, I swear I didn’t want to fight you! I didn’t make that match! But I fought because… because that’s my job.”
“And I might have been able to respect that,” Mickie replies, “But then you turned around and ran out on your partners when things got hard. I take care of my pets. And you owe Whorrie an apology. Weren’t you the one that gave the all for one and one for all speech before the match? After that, you can hopefully understand why simply saying you’re sorry isn’t going to hold much weight with me.”
“Then what do you want?” Maria meekly asks.
“The way I see it, you’ve got two options,” Mickie announces. “First… you can try to fight back. That will result in Vicky forcibly stripping you naked and throwing you out of the locker room. You’ll be banned from my locker room and you’ll have to spend the rest of your time here in the WWE regretting how you abandoned your friend like a coward.”
Maria bites her lip while Victoria’s hold on her tightens.
“Or… option two…” Mickie continues. “You can strip voluntarily and join us in this shower. I’ll take you in as my new pet and I’ll coach you through a proper apology to our dear Whorrie. You won’t have to spend the rest of your time here living in fear and looking over your shoulder.”
“T-Torrie…” Maria stammers as she looks at her blonde friend who has been silently nuzzling Mickie’s shoulder and neck this whole time. The same friend who up until yesterday had been encouraging her to fight back against Mickie’s bullying.
Torrie gives Mickie’s ear a quick nip before looking up and finally acknowledging Maria’s presence. “If you can’t beat her… join her. She’s very affectionate towards her pets. It’s so much easier being her friend instead of her enemy.” Mickie turns her head and captures Torrie’s lips for a steamy shower kiss. “Mmmmmm…”
Vicky steps back and cracks her knuckles. “Decision time. Are you stripping on your own… or am I doing it for you?”
Maria stares at the duo in the shower… then takes a deep breath and nods resolutely. Maria reaches down and pulls off her silver high-heeled boots and then peels off the simple black socks she had on under them. Mickie’s face lights up with a wide smile as Maria reaches up and removes her black collar then slides the silver straps of her dress off her shoulders. Maria’s dress drops down and pools around her bare feet leaving her in just her silver bra and panties.
But then Maria freezes and stares at the camera with her now-signature doe-eyed deer in headlights look.
“C’mon… you’re almost there,” Mickie encourages her while Torrie smiles softly behind her.
Maria takes another deep breath and reaches back to undo her bra. She slides the straps down her shoulders one at a time then wraps one arm over her chest as she pulls her bra free. Maria tosses the bra away and once again staring to the camera and gives a quiet plea. “Don’t look…”
The cameraman can’t help but heed the innocent interviewer's request and steps back to film her from behind. But this puts the camera in the perfect position to film Maria’s cute round ass as she peels her panties down.
“There’s a good girl,” Mickie praises Maria as she looks the naked backstage interviewer up and down and licks her lips. “You look delicious.” Mickie holds out her arms invitingly. “Now get in here… my new pet.”
Maria slowly steps out of her panties and into the shower and Mickie’s embrace. Maria’s hair gets darker as its soaked by the shower spray while Mickie wraps her arms around Maria for a snug hug and then gives her a soft, but drawn out kiss. Now there are three naked divas in the shower with their wet bodies all pressed fully against each other.
Mickie uses her hold on Maria to spin them around so Maria is pressed back into Torrie while Mickie’s back is facing the camera. Mickie looks impishly back at the camera and gives her thick naked ass an enticing wiggle before she slowly sinks down to her knees.
Maria’s silver eyeshadow and other makeup is starting to run. But Torrie’s arms around both wrapped around her chest shielding her boobs from view while Mickie is blocking everyone’s view of Maria’s lower privates.
“Vicky! Hair!” Mickie calls out. Victoria removes her black wristband and hands it off to Mickie who uses it to tie her wet hair back.
The perverts all know what’s coming next. There’s been a very clear pattern with Mickie’s tied hair and certain oral-based activities that she seemed to enjoy performing.
But then Mickie looks back over her shoulder with an apologetic smile. “Sorry perverts… but if we show this next bit on regular cable television… we’ll be kicked off the air faster than you can say ‘steamy shower threesome’...”
Mickie grabs the shower curtain and yanks it closed.
There is a brief boo from the crowd out in the arena but Maria’s loud gasp silences everyone as it cuts through the locker room.
“Ah! Oooh! Oh my! Mickie! Your… oooh!”
Victoria shakes her head and leaves the shower area. The cameraman opts to follow her in favor of filming a closed shower curtain.
Vicky sits on the locker room bench and picks up a small book. The camera moves to film over her shoulder and catches the title before she opens it: ’Mickie’s Band of Broken B itches’. The book is revealed to be a photo album. The first picture on the inside is of Trish Stratus stripped to her underwear and barking like a dog for Vince McMahon. The familiar photo has the word ‘BROKEN’ written across it as usual.
Maria’s cries can still be heard in the locker room. “AAH! Torrie! Don’t pinch my nipples so hard!”
“Sorry… Maybe I’ll suck them instead…”
“OOOH! OH GOSH!”
Victoria turns the page on the album. On the left side is the picture of Maria, stripped to her underwear and being spanked by Mickie James. On the right side is the picture of Beth Phoenix trapped in the ropes with Mickie’s hand working in her thong. ‘BROKEN’ is written across both photos.
“Sorry yet Maria?” Mickie calls out tauntingly.
“YES! YES! I’M SORRY! I’M SO SORRY! SOOORRIIIIEEEEE!”
Victoria turns to the next set of pages. The left picture is of her, handcuffed bottomless in the corner with Mickie shoving a microphone inside her. The ‘BROKEN’ written across the photo perfectly matches Vicky’s face paint from last night.
“OOOOH! OOOOH! DON’T STOP! DON’T STOP!”
But the right picture is new. It depicts an underwear clad Mickie lying on top of a completely naked Torrie Wilson. One of Mickie’s hands is busy between Torrie’s legs while the other is holding a microphone in the blonde’s face. Torrie’s expression is desperate and she’s caught in the middle of desperately shrieking “I… I’m Whorrie Wilson… and… and I’m Mickie James’ b*tch!”. As with all the others, the word ‘BROKEN” is written diagonally across the photo.
“MICKIE! MIICKIIE! MIIIIIICKIIIIIIEEEE!”
Victoria looks up from the photo album and shakes her head wistfully. “Lucky b*tch.” She turns to the camera. “Alright… show’s over. I’m gonna go and get me one of those.”
Vicky shows the cameraman to the door then shucks off her hooded sweatshirt as she makes her way back across the room. The cameraman gets one last shot of the broken diva peeling her top off and walking topless into the shower area before the locker room door closes.
”And so another soul succumbs to madness…”
The cameraman turns and is surprised to find Candice Michelle doing her impression of an emo kid as she leans against the wall outside the locker room with her arms folded across her chest. It's uncertain if she's been kicked out of the locker room or is out here hiding. Candice pushes off of the wall and gives her head a weary shake as she walks off alone.
The camera finally cuts and goes out to the ring where Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are sitting at the commentary table both staring in open mouthed shock after what just transpired in the locker room.
“Um… I think I need a shower…” King announces.
“You’ll stay right where you are!” J.R. orders. “Eh-hem…” He clears his throat and like the consummate professional that he is, continues with the show. “No one can amass a following quite like Mickie James. Earlier tonight we saw Melina stake her claim on the Women’s Championship. But if she really wants to be the new top diva on Raw… it looks like she’s going to have her hands full dealing with Mickie James and her… uh... pets.”
Val Venis’ music plays and the show goes on. Later, Triple H and Shawn Michaels come out dressed as the McMahons and play the infamous ‘Stand Back’ video… and have sh*t rain down from the rafters on the real McMahons and the Spirit Squad when they come out on stage. Needless to say, there is no match. And in the night’s main event championship match, Cena looks to have the title won when he has RVD trapped in the STF-U in the middle of the ring. But Edge returns to the arena and attacks Cena causing the match to end via disqualification and RVD to retain.
Of course, Mickie was aware of none of this on account that she, Vicky, Torrie and Maria weren’t seen outside of the women’s locker room until long after the end of the show.
And so Mickie’s Harem is officially formed. This part was mostly talking and set up. I’ll see you guys in two weeks for part two where the action starts as Mickie takes on Lita while Victoria and Carlito face Johnny Nitro and Melina with a shot at Mickie’s Women’s Championship on the line.
So if I'm not mistaken, that leaves Lita, Melina, Ashley Massaro, Candice, and technically Lillian Garcia as currently unbroken. Can't recall other 2006 divas. Maybe Christy Hemme and Michelle McCool?
What do you plan on doing if Mickie runs through the roster and there's no more unbroken divas?
And I dig the historical accuracy. Makes this feel like it was part of the show back then. Nice job as always!
|The Following User Says Thank You to MKDude For This Useful Post:|
So it turns out Fastlane is actually in THREE WEEKS on March 5th. I guess I thought it was December. I'll see everybody in March.
Melina is going to be Mickie's main opponent in this chapter. In the meantime I'm building towards a Mickie/Lita match at SummerSlam. In between those two feuds Mickie may decide that since she's worked through all the talent on Raw that she might want to show the girls on Smackdown and ECW some love.
It may help to actually watch those episodes of Raw to see what changed because of my Mickie. I never thought I'd quote a John Cena promo in this story but I did it anyway just to show that Mickie's presence is even effecting him.
And after SummerSlam I'll be moving into the story's final phase.
Chapter 6 Part 2
Mickie's Title Rampage
Can I just take a minute to say how much I love the WWE Network? It makes rewriting these classic episodes of Raw incredibly easy and very convenient. Now I don't have to suffer through vague reports or scour a series of ten videos to find one segment. The WWE Network has classic episode of Raw in their entirety. They simply gave this one a TV-14 Rating and were even able to keep the sexual Triple H and Candice Michelle table scene! Heehee.. speaking of which... wait until you read my version.
And also, Nikki Bella needs to watch herself. I established all the way back in October that Mickie James is the one who breaks b*tches.
Chapter 6 - Star-Making Performance - Part 2
Monday Night Raw - July 3rd 2006 - Philadelphia Pennsylvania
Raw is airing live from the Wachovia Center in the City of Brotherly Love. The show starts with a recap of D-X parodying the McMahons and then raining sh*t down on the real McMahons and the Spirit Squad. Triple H and Shawn Michaels are shown arriving at the arena but are barred from entering the building by Jonathan Coachman and a team of eight event security guards. Coach informs D-X that Mr. McMahon has banned them from the building. HHH and HBK resolve that they'll have to find something else to do tonight.
The Raw intro plays and the cameras go into the arena where the pyro goes off and the fans are shown cheering while Jerry 'the King' Lawler welcomes the viewers at home to the show.
King: Oh, you ready? Are you ready? Hold onto your seats! Because we are LIVE tonight on Raw! And as you saw D-X is banned from the building. But uh I didn't like the look on the face of Shawn Michaels and Triple H.
The split-screen match graphic appears and shows Johnny Nitro and Melina on one side and Carlito and Victoria on the other. The words Number One Contender Mixed Tag Team Match are written underneath.
King: And as you can see, tonight Johnny Nitro and Melina are going to face Carlito and Vicky in a Mixed Tag Team Number One Contender Match. If Melina's team wins: she becomes the Number One Contender for Mickie James' Women's Championship... but if Carlito's team wins: he becomes the Number One Contender for Johnny Nitro's Intercontinental Championship!
A new series of graphics appear showing John Cena and a mystery partner... WWE and ECW Champion Rob Van Dam and a mystery partner... and Edge and a mystery partner before bringing the three together to hype the night's triple threat tag team match main event.
King: But baby that is not all! Get ready for this main event. John Cena, Rob Van Dam, and Edge will each select a partner and then square off in a triple threat tag team match! A lot of bad blood in that!
A final match graphic appears showing Women's Champion Mickie James on one side and Lita on the other.
King: And there's still more coming! After their confrontation last week, Women's Champion Mickie James is going to go one-on-one with a former Women's Champion Lita! And you don't have to wait one second longer because that match... IS RIGHT NOW!
Metalingus plays and Edge and Lita walk out through a spewing cloud of smoke and fog. They're both wearing 'Sex and Violence' t-shirts but Lita's has a much lower cut to show off her cleavage. Lita is wearing black pants while Edge is in his usual black and red 'Rated R Superstar' tights and a gray camouflage skull cap.
Jim Ross finally gets his microphone problems sorted out and quickly recaps the opening announcements that King had just made while Edge and Lita walk hand-in-hand down to the ring. Edge snags Lilian Garcia's microphone before the ring announcer can start her pre-match introductions and forces her out of the ring.
"Beat it!" Edge growls. "Lita's all set to give that tramp Mickie James the worst being of her life. But before that I've got something to say. This isn't the Summer of Mickie James. No. No. Mark it down people! The Rated R Superstar will OWN this summer! See, tomorrow night I go into the 'supposed' hardcore surroundings of ECW. And when I get there, I will defeat Rob Van Dam for my second WWE Championship. And then, then it's on to Saturday Night's Main Event... where I will DEFEND my WWE Title against two guys I loved puttin' the beat down on last week: RVD and John Cena."
The fans boo but Edge's heat isn't anywhere near the level that it was from last week when he was in the ring with Mickie James.
"Let me put it in terms you people can understand," Edge continues. "You see, RVD is like the Philadelphia Phillies. Yeah, yeah, he's bland, over-rated, and has absolutely no heart whatsoever. And John Cena, well, Cena's like the Philadelphia Eagles. Oh don't get me wrong, he's good. He's really good. He's just not good enough to be champion."
Edge mocks the fans and sticks his tongue out as the Philadelphia fans boo hm for ripping on their local sports teams. But his heat is still leagues below the response he was getting from the North Carolina crowd when he was being lambasted by the Women's Champion.
"Where as me... well, I'm like Terrell Owens... I just wanna get the hell out of this town."
BOOOOOO! Edge's needling is starting to work. But the crowd definitely isn't red hot and is nowhere near electric.
"But make no mistake about it!" Edge insists. "This is my summer! And to prove that, in just a few more minutes, Lita is going to beat Mickie James' ass and show her what a real covergirl is supposed to look like! But tonight, tonight, I'm in a triple threat tag team match. And without further ado... I'm gonna tell you who my partner is gonna be... He's a man who's..."
My Time Is Now finally cuts off Edge and John Cena storms out from the back in his black Hustle, Loyalty, Respect t-shirt, black shorts and black baseball cap.
J.R.: I don't know what kind of man he's gonna be... but it's definitely not THIS MAN. It looks like our divas match is gonna have to wait... because here comes John Cena!
"Oh, how impolite. How impolite, John!" Edge calls out as Cena marches down the ramp. "You don't wanna find out who my partner's gonna be? What? What's the matter?"
Cena slides under the bottom rope and goes right after the man who cost him the WWE Championship last week with hard shots to the face. Edge and Lita quickly bail out of the ring and leave Cena standing on his own. Edge sits in front of the commentary table and fingers the fresh gash that Cena had just made on his forehead.
ONE OF KIND HITS!
Pyro explodes on the stage and dual champion Rob Van Dam comes out. He's wearing a black ECW t-shirt over his colorful green singlet ring gear and has both the WWE Championship and the ECW Championship wrapped around his waist.
"So..." RVD starts to speak but the ECW Original is cut off by the hardcore Philly crowd coming alive and chanting his name. RVD! RVD! RVD! "So... I had this match last week with John Cena. And since then, everywhere I go alls I hear is this talk. About how close John Cena came to making me tap out. That's what they're saying. RVD, were you really going to tap out? Well, I guess we'll never know what could've happened last week. But what I do know is that I am a fighting champion. CENA! Why don't you forget about this triple threat match. You want one more shot? One-on-one for the WWE Championship? I say let's do it tonight!"
YYEEEAAAAAHHH! That certainly got the crowd's attention.
"Whoa-whoa! HOLD ON A MINUTE!" Edge yells. "I don't-WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? Okay, so, so, if John Cena beats RVD tonight then my-then my WWE Championship match tomorrow would be null and void! That's not fair to me! I'm not gonna get screwed again! IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN!"
"No, you're right," RVD agrees. "That's not gonna happen. We all know you're just gonna interfere anyway, Edge. So... let's do this... I say we do Saturday Night's Main Event... TONIGHT! Edge... versus Cena... versus RVD... in a triple-threat match for the WWE Championship!"
King: Can that really happen?
JR: I certainly wanna see that! And I don't wanna wait until Saturday Night's Main Event.
Cena still doesn't have a microphone but nods his approval.
Edge responds vocally, "Fine! Fine! Because I can't think of a better place to win my second WWE Championship than in front of these hardcore neanderthals! Because the new WWE Champion... is gonna be Rated R!"
Music hits. But it's not Edge's Metalingus, RVD's One of Kind or even the still silent Cena's My Time Is Now... IT'S MICKIE JAMES' OBSESSION!
Mickie skips out from the back and stops next to Rob Van Dam. She’s wearing a black Break a B itch t-shirt and a black skirt with her title around her waist. The Philly crowd cheers as the Women’s Champion stands on the stage with the WWE and ECW Champion.
“Okay, is everybody happy now?” Mickie asks. “I was told that I’d be opening the show in a one-on-one match with Lita. I guess since Mr. McMahon’s not here yet and Coach is occupied keeping D-X out of the arena… then that means we can all just do whatever the hell we want! People have been calling me crazy for months… but it looks like the inmates are running the asylum now!”
YYYYEEEEAAAAAHHHHH! The WWE is much more fun when it’s utter chaos. The Philly fans are happy. They’ve already gotten a big title match out of the deal.
“Now let me just make sure I’m up to speed on what’s going on here…” Mickie resolved as she reached out and threw her arm over RVD’s shoulders. “RVD wants to reinforce that he’s a fighting champion by having his third WWE Championship Title defense in the span on two weeks. And his fourth championship match if you include his ECW Championship Match against Kurt Angle from last Tuesday Night. He also wants to redeem himself from looking like he was going to tap out to Cena last week… Does that sound about right, Rob?”
RVD nods and the Philly crowd gives a loud pop for the fighting champion.
“Okay… and Cena’s happy because he gets another shot after getting screwed over when he was seemingly seconds away from winning the WWE Championship last week. And at the same time he also gets revenge on the guy who screwed… uh… cost him the belt. So you’re all set then, right John?”
Cena nods and the crowd near the birthplace of hardcore gives him his usual split reaction.
“And then there’s Edge!” Mickie continues as she pulls her arm off of Van Dam and takes a step towards the ramp, “You just can’t seem to stop interjecting yourself into situations that you have no business in. You interfere in other people’s matches, you interrupt other people’s segments and you rile everyone until you get your way… Edge, honey, all you really proved was that you have no clue how to use your tongue properly.”
Mickie mocks Edge by sticking her tongue out and waggling it around like Edge had been doing earlier when he was mocking the Philadelphia sports teams.
“That’s not Rated R… that’s barely PG-13,” Mickie insists, “I, on the other hand, have already proven that I am an extremely talented cunning linguist and have used my tongue to break b*tches! I guess that’s the difference between us Edge, you’re barely Rated R… and like I told you last week… I’M RATED M, B*TCH!”
Mickie grabs the bottom of her Break a B itch t-shirt and tugs it out from inside the title belt around her waist and then pulls it off to reveal another shirt underneath it. Mickie’s second shirt is dark pink in color and has the sleeves cut off while the bottom is cropped short to show off her toned stomach. The dark pink shirt is notably snug and right on Mickie’s chest is a black tv rating box with white lettering that reads TV-MA. And above the rating box is slanted white writing that says Rated M. RVD is currently the only one in position to see the word B ITCH written across the back in the same slanted white writing from the front.
The fans cheer and start chanting RA-TED M! RA-TED M! RA-TED M! so that they can taunt Edge and cheer Mickie at the same time. Mickie smirks and tosses her black Break a B itch t-shirt to a cheering fan alongside the entrance ramp.
“That’s just great!” Edge growls. “So now you’re stealing my catchphrases!?”
“Your catchphrases are gonna be the least of your worries when I’m done here tonight!” Mickie immediately fires back. “Because once you, Cena and RVD clear out… I’m gonna handle my business in the ring…” Mickie pauses for a effect. There’s a wild look in her eyes as she sticks out her tongue again and gives it a quick flick. “...and I’m gonna steal your girlfriend!”
The camera quickly cuts and is in the perfect position to see Lita’s eyes go wide in surprise from where she had been standing silently beside Edge. The fans pop and started chanting BREAK A B*TCH! BREAK A B*TCH! BREAK A B*TCH!
“Yeah right, if you think–” Edge starts to argue but Lita surprises everyone when she grabs Edge’s microphone and steps past him.
“You need to watch yourself because–”
Mickie steps back in surprise and cuts Lita off, “WHOA! She’s speaks! She’s spent some much time hiding behind her boyfriend that I was sure she’d forgotten how!”
“That’s because you’re not even worth my time,” Lita responds. “Do you know who I am?”
“No, but give me a minute and I’ll go backstage and call Matt Hardy and ask him,” Mickie offers, “Although, I doubt he’d say anything flattering…”
Mickie’s got her verbal claws out again! Lita glares at the crowd then turns her attention back to Mickie. She goes to speak but the Women’s Champion once again cuts her off.
“I remember this one diva called Lita,” Mickie continues. “They called her the Extreme Diva. She was considered to be Trish Stratus’ greatest rival. She used to pull her top off and do moonsaults from the top rope. She wasn’t afraid to mix it up with the guys and was considered to be one of the all time greats… but that couldn’t possibly be you.”
“She’s got a point there,” RVD speaks up, “Over on ECW we know a thing or two about extreme and hardcore. Way back once upon a time… yeah… Lita was extreme. Was. That’s not the case anymore. Now… Mickie James is the most hardcore woman in the divas locker room.”
Mickie grins at RVD and the Women’s Champion and the ECW Champion slap hands for a quick high-five. Lita glares furiously at the two champions on the stage.
“Of course, if you’ve got a problem with that… we’re supposed to have a match,” Mickie reminds her, “So now that the main event’s been settled, why don’t the guys clear out so you can try to prove me wrong? Otherwise I’ll just go on thinking what everyone else here is thinking… that you’re a sad, pathetic, burned out shell of your former self.”
OOOOOOOOHHHH! MICKIE! MICKIE! MICKIE!
“I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!” Edge yells as he tears the microphone away from Lita.
“You weren’t even supposed to be out here in the first place!” Mickie counters. “This was scheduled to be a one-on-one match. But since we’ve already shown that we’re just gonna do whatever the hell we want until Mr. McMahon gets here… I can see this playing out two ways... “ Mickie casually throws her arm across RVD’s shoulders, “Since you like interfering in matches so much… I’ll ask my new friend and fellow champion Rob Van Dam to stick around and even the odds. And this way he can keep an eye on his opponent for later tonight.”
RVD shrugs, “I’m down.”
“I’m out here to support my girl,” Edge insists. “This has nothing to do with you! It’s none of your business!”
Mickie surprises everyone when she uses her arm around RVD’s shoulders to pull the WWE Champion into a heated kiss.
The camera got back to the ring and show that even John Cena is starting up at the ramp in in surprise while the Philly crowd starts chanting. HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T!
King: WHOA! I wish I was Rob Van Dam right now!
J.R.: I don’t think you’re alone in that one, King. You’d be hardpressed to find a man in this arena who wouldn’t want to be in RVD’s place. And a fair few women too, I’d wager.
Mickie finally releases RVD and pulls away. The usually mellow Rob Van Dam is left staring straight ahead in wide-eyed surprise.
“It looks like I just made it his business,” Mickie remarks. RVD nods silently. “And by the way, Edge, that is how you use your tongue.” Edge is as dumbfounded as everyone else while Lita looks disgusted. Mickie doesn’t bother letting him respond yet. “Now if you don’t like option one… then you’re probably going to hate option two… John Cena’s been standing in that ring this whole time and looks really bored. I bet if I asked him real nice, he’d be willing to remove you from ringside for me.”
Cena nods eagerly and pulls off his ‘Hustle, Loyalty, Respect’ t-shirt to show that he’s ready for a fight. He doesn’t really even need an excuse to attack the man who screwed him out of the WWE Championship last week.
Lita takes the microphone back to Edge, “Babe, don’t worry. I’ve got this. I can spare the five minutes it’ll take to put this uppity troll pretending to be Women’s Champion in her place.”
“Oh… sorry Lita…or whoever-you-are...” Mickie mockingly apologizes. “But you must not have been paying attention. Edge leaving voluntarily wasn’t one of your two choices.” Mickie smirks, “John, I think they just picked option two.”
Cena rolls out of the ring and goes right after Edge. The Rated R Superstar tries to fight back but the Cenation Leader is extra motivated and is all over him and has Edge doubled over so he can lay in some hard shots to the back. J.R. and King stand up and back away from the table as Cena and Edge brawl right in front of them. They moved just in time, because Cena suddenly drags Edge back up and grabs him by the collar then chucks him clear over the announce table.
Edge knocks over the chairs and lands in a heap on the other side of the table but Cena still isn’t through and tries to go around the table to dish out more punishment. But Lita suddenly gets involved and grabs onto Cena’s arm to hold him back. The momentary distraction is enough time for Edge to grab King’s fallen water bottle and throw it at Cena. The cheap plastic bottle bursts when it impacts with Cena’s face and sprays water everywhere.
Cena staggers backwards and attempts to wipe the water out of his eyes while Edge crawls out from behind the commentary table, scrambles back up to his feet and then hops the barricade and high tails it the hell out of there. It’s worth noting that Edge is going the same way that he and Lita had gone last week when they stormed out of the arena in North Carolina.
Cena recovers from the water explosion and sees Edge escaping. He rushes to the barricade and quickly leaps over it. Edge looks back and sees Cena coming after him and starts full-out sprinting up the steps as Cena chases after him.
“THANKS JOHN!” Mickie shouts from up on the stage. She turns and smiles at Rob Van Dam. “I can handle things from here. Good luck in your title match tonight.”
RVD nods and heads to the back while Mickie starts making her way down to the ring. The Women’s Champion’s eyes are locked on Lita who is still standing in front of the commentary table on the other side of the ring.
J.R.: It looks like we’ve finally got things under control, folks! Tonight’s main event is now a Triple Threat WWE Championship Match. RVD versus John Cean versus Edge. We may crown a new WWE Champion tonight!
King: But first we’re finally going to see Mickie James take on Lita.
J.R.: Mickie James has threatened to steal Edge’s girlfriend. We’ll see if she can do it… after these messages!
The screen fades to black as Raw goes to its first commercial break. Mickie James has once again proved why she’s one of the top talents in the WWE. She came out with Raw’s top stars and looked like she belonged there. Of course, fans looking back on the segment would eventually realize that Mickie’s kiss with RVD had actually been her infamous Kiss of Death. Because Rob Van Dam was about to have a very bad night and an even worse week.
Raw comes back from the commercial break with the cameras outside of the arena. A long stretch limo pulls up and Vince McMahon gets out. Coach greets him and assures the boss that ran off D-X and there will be no problems tonight. Vince McMahon and Coach head into the arena and completely miss Triple H and Shawn Michaels driving up in a convertible with a bunch of cheering girls in the back.
The cameras go back out to the ring Mickie James and Lita are waiting in opposite corners with divas match referee Jack Doan and ring announcer Lilian Garcia between them.
Lilian finally does her introductions, “Ladies and gentlemen, the following non-title match is scheduled for one-fall. Introducing first, from Richmond Virginia, she is the WWE Women’s Champion… the Covergirl of the WWE Summer Special Magazine… and the woman who broke Trish Stratus, Maria, Beth Phoenix, Victoria and Torrie Wilson… MICKIE JAMES!” Mickie nods along as Lilian runs down her extensive resume. The crowd cheers for Mickie while Lilian glances over at the Women’s Champion to ensure that she’s happy. Mickie flashes her a jaunty thumbs up. Lilian lets out a sigh of relief then continues. “And her opponent… LITA!” Lita glares at Lilian and looks annoyed by her comparatively much shorter introduction. Mickie hands off her championship and Lilian Garcia vacates the ring. Jack Doan takes one last glance at the two combatants to ensure they’re ready and then calls for the bell.
They meet in the middle of the ring and Mickie almost immediately ducks a slap from Lita then spins around and nails her with spinning back kick. Lita doubles over and Mickie grabs her in a side headlock, MICKIE-DT… but Lita grabs Mickie’s arm and counters out with a wristlock then spins Mickie around and pulls her down into a side headlock of her own. LITA DDT… but Mickie surges forward and shoves Lita back first in the ropes and starts teeing off with shots to stomach. Jack Doan rushes over and orders the two divas apart. Lita releases her hold on Mickie and Mickie raises her arms as she backs away for a clean break. But Lita lashes out with a cheap shot and kicks Mickie in the knee. Lita grabs Mickie’s arm again and spins around so they’re standing side-by-side then falls backwards and hits a Russian legsweep before doing her signature float over into a pin.
ONE… MICKIE KICKS OUT!
Mickie pushes herself up onto her hands and knees while Lita shoots back up and runs to the ropes then bounces off and jumps up to drive both her feet into Mickie’s side for a front dropkick. Mickie goes rolling across the ring and eventually stops near the ropes. Lita goes after her and drags her back up to her feet then whips her into the corner. Mickie hits the turnbuckles back-first while Lita steps back into the middle of the ring then charges at Mickie. But Mickie leaps out of the corner and gives Lita a helpful shove as she goes passed causing Lita to go through the ropes and slam shoulder-first into the ring post. Lita is left doubled over and hanging out of the ring in the corner. Mickie smirks as she steps up behind Lita. “The Lita I remember used to wear colorful thongs. Let’s see if you are!” The perverted diva briefly grips Lita’s lower back before she jams her hands down her pants. Lita’s head snaps up and nearly hits the turnbuckle as Mickie grabs hold of her panties and yanks up. Lita lets out a howl of pain as Mickie yanks up her waistband of her bright red thong. MICKIE JUST GAVE LITA A WEDGIE!
Frantic and desperate, Lita pushes herself away from the corner and drives a wild elbow into Mickie’s jaw. Mickie is rocks backwards and Lita quickly grabs her and sweeps Mickie’s legs then falls backwards and drive Mickie face-first into the middle turnbuckle. Mickie is left slumped in the corner as Lita briefly backs away and winces as she reaches back to adjust her uncomfortable thong. Lita smirks as she turns back to Mickie and easily flips up the back of the Women’s Champion’s black skirt to reveal her dark pink panties. “Let’s see how you like it!” Lita bunches up the back of Mickie’s panties and returns the favor by giving Mickie a wedgie of her own. But the Shameless One doesn’t miss a step and suddenly shoots her leg out behind her and kicks Lita’s knee. Lita is caught off guard by the fast counter and Mickie is able to shove her back and then spin out of the corner to hit a hard forearm to the face. Lita lurches backwards and Mickie quickly hoists herself up so she’s sitting on the top rope then stretches her legs out and wraps them around Lita’s head. Mickie pushes out of the corner and sends Lita flying across the ring with her signature rope-aided hurricanrana… MICK-A-RANA!
Lita crawls to the opposite corner and drags herself back up with the ropes but Mickie surges after her and jumps up into the air. Mickie’s chest collides with Lita’s as she squashes her opponent in the corner with a running turnbuckle bodyspalsh. Mickie bounces off and briefly leaves Lita slumped against the corner. But the Women’s Champion dashes back into her opponent’s personal space and cups both sides of the other woman’s face… AND THEN KISSES HER FULL ON THE LIPS! On commentary, King raves that Mickie really is trying to steal Edge’s girlfriend. The crowd cheers and wolf whistles while the referee runs over and orders Mickie to break her ‘hold’ and get Lita out of the corner. Mickie pays him no mind and proceeds to jam her tongue down Lita’s throat as she intensifies her lip lock. The hardcore perverts in attendance cheer loudly and start chanting, HLA! HLA! HLA! Referee Jack Doan once again warns Mickie that she has Lita illegally trapped in the corner and starts the five-count that will disqualify her. The fans count along with him.
FI...MICKIE FINALLY PULLS AWAY!
Mickie backs away from the corner and leaves a flustered Lita leaning against the turnbuckles. Lita’s mouth his hanging open and she’s breathing heavily. She’s staring at Mickie with a look that seems to be a combination of shock and disgust. Mickie smirks as she raises her hand to her mouth with two of her fingers in a familiar ‘V’ shape then flicks her tongue between them. The fans pop and once again start chanting HLA! HLA! HLA! Lita is suddenly incensed by Mickie’s lewd taunt and surges out of the corner looking for a clothesline but Mickie easily ducks it then quickly spins and lashes out with her arm. CRACK! A loud smack echoes through the arena as Mickie slaps Lita on the ass as hard as she can. “YAAAH!” Lita yelps and staggers forward clutching her butt. She whirls around and glares at Mickie who is looking back with an impish grin and a playful glint in her eyes. Lita charges Mickie again and goes for another wild swing but Mickie easily ducks under it then grabs Lita and flips her passed her with a snapmare. Mickie runs to the ropes, bounces off and knocks LIta flat on her back with a dropkick to the face. Mickie jumps back up and raises her arms overhead while the crowd cheers and chants her name. MICKIE! MICKIE! MICKIE!
J.R.: We’ve seen Lita fight in some of the greatest divas matches in history, King. But Mickie James has her completely off balance here tonight!
King: I don’t know what Lita was expecting when she entered this match. But you and I both know that there’s no diva in that locker room who is better at mind games than Mickie James.
J.R.: Well, it’s safe to say that Mickie is firmly in Lita’s head.
King: It looks more like she’s trying to get in her pants to me. Lita’s learning the hard way that there’s nothing you can do to prepare for Mickie James.
Mickie turns her attention back to Lita and sees that she’s rolled over and has pushed herself back up to her knees. Mickie grabs Lita and pulls her up into a front facelock then forces Lita back into the middle of the ring with a series of hard knee strikes. Groggy and flustered, Lita tries an act of desperation and once again lashes out to kick Mickie in the knee. Lita pulls Mickie down into a side headlock and once again goes for her signature snap DDT, LITA DDT… but Mickie spins out of it with a wristlock, grabs hold of Lita and bends her backwards and then once again seals her lips to Lita’s with a hard kiss. The crowd cheers and once again chants HLA! HLA! HLA! But Lita is a little bit more prepared this time and starts flailing wildly and eventually manages to force Mickie off of her. Mickie takes Lita’s push in stride and uses it to increase her momentum as she spins around and drives her heel into the back of Lita’s head for a big reverse roundhouse kick. MICKIE JUST GAVE LITA THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT! Lita drops to the mat unconscious. She’s out cold.
YYEEAAHH! MICKIE! MICKIE! MICKIE! Mickie raises her arms and does a spin for the crowd but as usual makes no move to actually pin her opponent.This isn’t an Anything Goes Match but it’s clear that Mickie has an agenda and is doing whatever she can within regulation WWE rules to break her opponent. Mickie drops to her knees in between her prone opponent’s legs then leans forward and slips her hands underneath Lita to undo her pants. The crowd cheers as Mickie grabs the waistband of Lita’s pants and quickly yanks them down to her ankles and then tears them off. YYYEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH! Lita’s red thong is now fully revealed and with the way it’s wedged between her cheeks it makes Lita’s ass look even more naked than it already is. Mickie grins as she bunches Lita’s pants under one of her arms then reaches out with her free and hand gives Lita a hard series of swats on her mostly naked ass. YYYEEEAAAHHH! MICKIE! MICKIE! MICKIE!
The referee comes over and tries to pull Lita’s pants away from Mickie. “What? It’s not like I’m gonna use them as a weapon or anything!” But while Mickie argues with the referee, Lita finally wakes up and realizes she’s nearly bottomless and let’s out a shriek of horror. “NNOOOOO!” Lita pushes herself up and makes a mad crawl across the ring which causes her nearly naked ass to wiggle with each stride. Mickie drops Lita’s pants and chases after her but is too late to stop Lita from diving through the ropes out of the ring. Lita sits up on the floor and hugs her bare legs to her chest. Mickie looks on from the ring and then sits down on the middle rope and holds the top one open for Lita. “What’s the matter? Weren’t you going to put me in my place? Get your naked ass back in here!” Jack Doan comes over and starts the ring out count while Lita continues to glare at Mickie from where she’s sitting at the bottom of the entrance ramp.
Lita finally stands up. She hands her hands clamped down between her legs to cover the front of her thong. The fans cheer while Mickie is still holding the ropes open and waves for Lita to get back in the ring. Lita shakes her head, “FORGET YOU! I’M TOO GOOD FOR THIS!” Lita waves Mickie off, turned around and stalks up the ramp. The referee continues his ring out count while the fans boo furiously and start chanting all sorts of horrible things at Lita. BOOOOO! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! SHE’S GOT HERPES! SHE’S GOT HERPES! YOU SCREWED MATT! YOU SCREWED MATT! SHE’S A COCK TEASE! SHE’S A COCK TEASE! Lita’s heat in this one moment is louder than anything Edge got in the entire opening segment. Mickie gets off of the ropes and glares at Lita as her opponent walks out on her.
Jack Doan calls for the bell and awards Mickie the match via count out but she doesn’t look happy about her victory at all. The Women’s Champion pulls away from the referee when he goes to raise her arm and rolls out of the ring. She snags Lilian Garcia’s microphone before she can even start her post match announcement and takes a quick few seconds to reclaim her championship belt before she slips back into the ring.
“So that’s it, huh? That’s all you are now, Lita?” Mickie calls after her opponent. “All that build up and no climax? You sure know how to leave a crowd unsatisfied.” The crowd shares Mickie’s displeasure and let’s out a resounding boo. BOOOOOOOOOO! “The Lita I remember never ran from a fight. Maybe that was you once. But it’s clear to everyone in this arena… the legendary Lita… the Extreme Diva… IS DEAD! Keep running Lita… I’m not gonna bother chasing you. You’re a b*tch alright… but you’re not worth the time and effort it would take to break you!”
Obsession plays as Mickie drops her microphone and rolls out of the ring. She’s still scowling at the disappointing ending to her match and is lacking her usual exuberance.
The cameras got to the back where Vince McMahon is in his office complaining to Coach. Vince is suspicious but Coach insists that D-X aren’t in the building. The Chairman orders Coach to explain why his toilets are stopped up and why his catering never arrived. He orders Coach to go and investigate the matter.
Bagpipe music is playing in the arena after the successful debut of the Highlanders against the team of Rob Conway and Matt Striker… who after realizing how crazy the two kilt-wearing scotsmen were decided not to tag into the match and left his partner high and dry. After Lita walked out on her match with Mickie earlier... the Philadelphia crowd was extra hostile towards ‘their teacher’.
The cameras go out to the parking lot and show Triple H standing behind a table that is covered in a red tablecloth and countless cups of beer. It turns out, since Vince McMahon had banned D-X from the building they decided to stay outside and throw a festive Fourth of July barbecue… which probably explained where Vince McMahon’s catering had gone.
The Game casts a quick look to the side as Mickie James walks over and stands next to him behind the table. She’s still in the same dark pink Rated M top and black skirt from before but now she’s all smiles. The reasons for this is probably the smoking hot Torrie WIlson hanging off her arm. Torrie is wearing the incredibly short and snug pale blue bottoms and the barely-more-than-a-bra blue top that consist of her revealing ring gear.
“Oh… uunnghh… hey Mickie…” HHH greets her. He seems distracted as he stands with the lower half of his body hidden behind the table.
“Thanks for sending that girl to invite me to your party,” Mickie chirps. “It came at just the right time. First, Lita ran out on me during our match… and then I learned Melina and Johnny Nitro petitioned to have me banned from ringside during their match against Vicky and Carlito. Apparently it’s no problem when they interfere in each other’s matches. But when the other side has the numbers advantage I’m suddenly not allowed to be at ringside to support my girl. Whorrie was doing her part in cheering me up when your invitation came so it seemed only natural for me to bring her as my date.” Mickie grins and turns her head to share a steamy kiss with Torrie. “Mmm... thanks, sweetie.”
“Oh yeah… yeah… uh so… where’s the rest of your uuuugh-entourage?” Triple H asks.
“Well, Vicky’s still getting ready for her match and Maria’s overseas visiting the troops in Iraq,” Mickie explains. “So for now it’s just me and Whorrie.”
“That’s g-good… great… OH…” Triple H stammered. He reaches out and bangs his fist on the table in front of Mickie.
Mickie looks over at the Game curiously, “You okay, Hunter? You sound funny. If I didn’t know any better I’d say there was someone su–OH! OH!” Mickie suddenly goes ramrod straight and her eyes fly wide open. But then they narrow as she glances over at Helmsley and smirks, “So it’s this kind of party… Mmm… you uuuh… sure know how to show a girl a guh-good time.”
“D-X… always has… a good time…” HHH grunts.
Torrie has a knowing smile on her face. She easily slips around Mickie and wraps her arms around her from behind. Torrie reaches down with one hand and pulls up the front of Mickie’s black skirt to the point where it’s above the table and holds it there. The blonde uses her other hand to reach up and caress Mickie’s chest.
“Oooh… ohmygosh… ohmygosh…” Mickie whimpers, “OH! OH! OOOH!”
There are no pretenses anymore. It’s clear that there is someone under the table going down on Mickie James. And there’s probably somebody else blowing HHH. But unlike Mickie who has her skirt flipped up leaving an expanse of bare skin above the table… Triple H’s jeans can still be seen when he bucks erratically against the table. His lips quirk as he glances to the side at the show Mickie and Torrie are putting on.
“OOH! UUH! HUUH! NYUUH!” Mickie gasps. Her mouth is hanging open and she starting to buck and thrash against her hidden assailant. But then Torrie cups Mickie’s chin and Mickie starts moaning into Torrie’s mouth as they share a heated kiss. “MMMM! MMMHHM!
“UUGH! Uggh…” Triple H’s notably staged moans have been dialed back. Of course most people in-the-know are aware that behind-the-scenes he’s married to a certain McMahon. So obviously he wouldn’t really be doing this. But the same can not be said for one Mickie James who is quite possibly bottomless behind the table and is letting out moans that seem genuine.
HHH groans and grabs a random mustard bottle and sprays mustard all over the place to simulate ejaculation.
Mickie, on the other hand, breaks her kiss with Torrie so she can throw her head back and scream as she has real orgasm live on cable television. “OOOOHMYYYYYGAAAAHHHHHHD! UUUUUAAAAUUUGGHH!”
Torrie releases Mickie who falls forward onto the table and sends beer cups flying everywhere. Mickie pushes herself up onto her elbows. She has a dazed expression and her breathing is ragged. “Thank you… kind stranger…”
Torrie smirks and once again wraps her arms around Mickie’s waist from behind before she pulls Mickie away from the table. Mickie’s skirt flips back down just in time to avoid revealing anything. Mickie is being fully supported by Torrie who pulls her backwards until the dark pink panties around Mickie’s knees are visible.
Mickie’s eyes go wide and she blurts out in surprise as a familiar face emerges from under the table.
“MARIA!? I thought you were in Iraq!”
“Nope! I was under the table!” Maria chirps. There’s further ‘evidence’ of Mickie’s real orgasm plastered all over the bottom of her smiling pet’s face.
“Yes… I can see that,” Mickie replies. “But why were you under the table?”
“Candice approached me and said that she really wanted to go to Iraq instead,” Maria explains.
Mickie looks back at the blonde holding her, “Were you in on this?”
“She wanted it to be a surprise,” Torrie answers, speaking for the first time.
“Were you surprised?” Maria asks eagerly.
Mickie smiles fondly, “Very surprised.”
“Can you stand?” Torrie inquires. Mickie nods and the blonde releases her. Once she sees that the Women’s Champion is standing under her own power, she turns her attention to Maria. “Because I was bribed for my silence.” Torrie steps forward and grabs Maria so she can pull her into a kiss. The blonde doesn’t seem to mind-or rather-seems to enjoy that there’s ‘essence of Mickie’ all over Maria’s face. Torrie pulls away and gives Maria a sexy grin. “My turn.”
Maria giggles as she and Torrie sink down and disappear under the table.
Mickie looks over at Triple H who has a wide, pervy grin on his face. “Did you know she was under there?”
“Of course,” the Game answered. “She asked me if I could call you out here so she could surprise you. Like I’m gonna say no to a request like that.”
Suddenly Torrie Wilson’s moans begin to emanate from under the table. “OH YES! MARIA, RIGHT THERE! GOOD GIRL!”
A dark haired vaguely asian woman in a skimpy Degeneration X shirt pops out from under the table and stares at Triple H in surprise. “They’re uh… really going at it under there…”
“You bet they are!” Mickie exclaims as she pulls a band off of her wrist and ties her hair back. “Hunter, I’m going in!” Mickie drops down and dives under the table after her pets.
HHH chuckles as he puts his arm around his D-X groupie, “I knew she’d be great to have at a party.” The screen fades to black and Raw goes to a commercial.
Back from the break, D-X has taken over a production truck and the men who at the beginning of the show had claimed to not know how to work a computer proceeded to use their inexplicable technical production know-how to torment Vince McMahon. First by broadcasting him while he was urinating in a public restroom (because his personal bathroom’s toilet was still stopped up) and next by messing with the Chairman’s microphone while he addressed them from the ring. A furious Vince McMahon announced the Spirit Squad versus D-X in a five-on-two elimination match at Saturday Night’s Main Event on July Fifteenth. D-X responded by playing a laugh track. A thoroughly humiliated Mr. McMahon asked for D-X to at least play his music so he could leave. Degeneration X surprisingly obliged and started playing No Chance... but then quickly switched it over to the embarrassing Stand Back music video which caused the Chairman to storm to the back in a furious rage. After another commercial break, the cameras go out to the ring.
PAPARAZZI SOUNDS THROUGH THE ARENA!
The red carpet is rolled out and Johnny Nitro and Melina strut out on stage while photographers swarm them and start snapping pictures of the A-List Power Couple. Johnny Nitro is wearing one of his usual ‘roadkill’ coats, dark sunglasses and a pair of black and brown tights with his Intercontinental Championship dangling out of them. Melina is wearing furry white wrestling boots, a short white skirt and a snug but extremely low cut black top that shoves off her impressive cleavage.
Nitro spins Melina on the stage and dips her backwards which further shows off her cleavage and then they strut their stuff down the red carpeted entrance ramp as Lilian Garcia does her introductions. “The follow contest is a Mixed Tag Team Number One Contender Match and is scheduled for one-fall. Introducing first, from Los Angeles California… the team of Intercontinental Champion Johnny Nitro and Melina! If Melina’s team wins... she will become the Number One Contender for Mickie James’ Women’s Championship!”
Nitro and Melina reach the bottom and Melina strikes a pose in front of the ring then stretches her leg up onto the ring apron then grabs the bottom rope and pulls herself up into her signature split on the ring apron. The cameras are given a split second view of Melina’s black panties peeking out from under her skirt before Nitro spins to the side and blocks the view much to King’s immense irritation. Melina swings her body under the bottom rope then stands up with her legs spread so her boyfriend can run and slide through them as he slips into the ring. Nitro poses on his side in the middle of the ring while Melina was over and strikes her own wide-legged pose behind him.
YES, I LOST MY MIND… Victoria’s theme All The Things She Said plays. Victoria walks out in the same black wrestling gear and hooded Broken B itch sweatshirt from last week. The hood is up but the same lightning-like crack face paint is still visible on Vicky’s face. “And their opponents… first, the Broken Diva… Vicky!” Lilian looks nervous in the ring as she surveys Victoria and hopes she got her new introduction right. After spending that one show in her underwear two weeks ago, the Raw Ring Announcer is an unofficial member of Mickie’s Band of Broken B itches and doesn’t want to do anything to piss off the impulsive and mentally unsound Women’s Champion. Vicky doesn’t seem to object as she stares silently at Melina her entire way down the ramp before finally breaking eye contact when she turns to go around the corner. Vicky climbs up onto the side of the ring and slowly reaches up to lower her hood then reaches up and grabs the top rope with both hands so she can do a smooth backflip over the top rope and land on her feet in the ring. Victoria leans back in the nearest corner and glares across the ring at Nitro and Melina.
I spit in the face… of people who don’t want to be cool! The Caribbean beat of Carlito’s theme Cool fills the arena as Carlito makes his way out onto the stage. He’s wearing his yellow Spit or Swallow t-shirt and his cool blue short tights, knee pads and boots. “And her partner… from the Caribbean weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds… Caarlito! If Carlito’s team wins… he will become the Number One Contender for Johnny Nitro’s Intercontinental Championship!” Carlito makes his way down the ramp and goes up the stairs into the ring with little fan fair.
J.R.: Well you just heard it from Lilian Garcia, folks. Two different Number One Contendership Spots are up for grabs in this match. If Johnny Nitro or Melina pick up the victory in this match… then Melina gets a shot at Victoria’s um girlfriend Mickie James’ Women’s Championship. But if Carlito or Victoria get the win… then Carlito gets an Intercontinental Championship Match against Johnny Nitro!
Lilian Garcia exits the ring and both teams split up and go to their separate corners. Everyone removes their extra entrance gear and the referee looks about ready to call for the bell to start the match. But before he can, a familiar voice sounds through the arena over the speakers.
”HEY VICKY! VICKY!”
Everyone’s attention turns to the TitanTron which cuts away from the ring to show Mickie James sitting behind a control panel in the production truck. The Women’s Championship is resting on top of the control panel.
Maria leans into the shot from Mickie’s right side and gives a cheery wave as she practically sings, “HIIII VIICTORIIA! D-X invited us to join them in the production truck!”
Torrie leans in from the other side and rests her head on Mickie’s shoulder. “So even though we can’t be out there cheering you on… we’ll still be supporting you from back here.”
“Do us proud Vicky!” Mickie encourages her broken girlfriend. “And oh, Melina, I didn’t forget about you. Since Lita turned out to be a deadbeat disappointment… I’ve got my full attention on you now. But here’s a free piece of advice, girlfriend. Don’t wear a skirt to the ring unless you’re willing to show off what’s underneath it!” Mickie turns and calls out to someone off screen. “HIT IT, SHAWN!”
The TitanTron cuts back to Johnny Nitro and Melina making their entrance. But then switches into slow motion as Nitro spins Melina and dips her backwards. The shot goes even slower and enters super slowmo as the camera films straight down Melina’s shirt. The edge’s of the shot are then cropped out so Melina’s chest and cleavage completely fill the screen.
Then the video skips to further along in the couple’s entrance and shows the short split-second clip of Melina’s black panties being exposed under her white skirt while Melina does her split on the apron before Nitro leans in to block the shot. The second-long clip is played on loop and Melina’s black, partially see-through panties are shown over and over on the big screen.
The video cuts to a few seconds later from a different camera angle where Melina is swinging her upperbody under the bottom rope. Melina is leaning down and a camera that was filming from the other side of the ring is shooting straight down her shirt. This time it’s not done in slow motion or on a loop but instead is played forwards and then reverses so Melina swings back and forth over and over again under the bottom rope on repeat.
The video montage finally ends and Melina is shown flipping out in the ring while the crowd and commentary team laugh at her embarrassment.
King: Haha ha! I love D-X and I love Mickie James!
J.R.: That’ll be TiVo-ed about three million times this week…
The camera switches back and shows Mickie, Maria and Torrie sitting together in the truck. “GOOD LUCK, VICKY!” They all call out together before the cameras return to the ring.
Melina is furious and pushes passed Nitro so she can climb out on the apron. She’s no longer interested in starting this match with perverts like Mickie James and D-X running the show from the production truck. Carlito shares a glance with Victoria and they switch places so that Carlito can start the match against Johnny Nitro. Jack Doan is refereeing again. He sees that everything is finally under control and calls for the bell to start the match.
Carlito and Nitro lock up in the middle of the ring and start grappling for position. Carlito looks to be overpowering Nitro but Nitro spins them around and forces Carlito back into his corner. Carlito raises his arms as Nitro goes for a clean break but Nitro suddenly staggers backwards and clutches his eye. The referee turns to check on him and Melina quickly shoots her flexible leg up over the top rope and kicks Carlito in the back of the head from the apron. Carlito staggers out of the corner and Nitro pushes passed the referee and clobbers him with a clothesline. Nitro drags Carlito up and pushes him back into the ropes then goes to whip him across the ring. But Carlito reverses and sends Nitro into the ropes instead. Carlito ducks down and goes for a back body drop but Nitro jumps up and rolls across Carlito’s back before landing on his feet behind him. Nitro taunts Carlito and goes for a clothesline which Carlito runs under it. Nitro hits the ropes and bounces off but Carlito jumps straight up onto his shoulders and sends him flying across the ring with a hurricanrana.
Melina lets out one of her signature shrill screams from the apron. Carlito looks back at her and picks at his ear then follows after Nitro into his corner. He reaches out towards Vicky and offers her a tag that will automatically bring in the screeching harpy in the other corner. But in reaching for Vicky, Carlito took his eyes off of his opponent for a split second which allows Nitro to push himself back up and nail Carlito with a shot to the stomach. Carlito doubles over while Nitro spring up and bends Carlito backwards then drives him head-first into the mat for a reverse DDT. The Intercontinental Champion follows up by pushing his legs up over his head then swings them around and slams them down on Carlito’s back for his signature corkscrew leg drop. Nitro spins around so he’s facing Melina in the corner and briefly poses on his side before he rolls Carlito over and hooks his legs for a pin.
ONE… TW–Carlito kicks out!
Carlito rolls away from Nitro and crawls for the corner. Now he’s taken some offense and is actually in need of a tag. But Nitro grabs Carlito’s leg and pulls him away from the corner then drops an elbow across Carlito’s back. Nitro drags Carlito back into the middle of the ring and sits him up then hooks Carlito’s own arm around his throat and pulls back for a seated cobra clutch submission hold. Vicky starts slapping the top rope in the corner while the fans start chanting CAR-LI-TO! CAR-LI-TO! to motivate him back into the match. Carlito digs deep and fights back up to his feet and his a series of elbow to Nitro’s sculpted stomach to break the hold. Carlito swings at Nitro for a forearm but Nitro ducks it and boots Carlito in the stomach then whips him into one of the neutral corners. Nitro runs after Carlito and hits a running hip attack against the turnbuckles. Nitro backs away from Carlito’s then shows off his athleticism by launching himself backwards with a crazy jumping triple-spin so he can land on one knee in the middle of the ring. Melina, of course, cheers like it’s the greatest thing anyone has ever done in a wrestling ring ever. Nitro poses for his cheering girlfriend but Carlito suddenly surges out of the corner and levels Nitro with a hard clothesline. Carlito crawls for his own corner… AND MAKES THE DIVING TAG TO VICTORIA!
Vicky ducks through the ropes which automatically brings in Melina under mixed tag rules. Victoria rushes across the ring and takes down Melina with a clothesline. Melina scrambles back up only for Vicky to send her flying with a Japanese arm drag. Melina rolls across the ring and slips under the bottom rope so she can drop down to the floor and escape. Victoria glares after Melina and chases after her. Vicky reaches the floor just in time to see Melina spin around and crawl under the ring. The Broken Diva attempts to pull Melina out but Nitro finally slides out of the ring and distracts her. Victoria is facing Nitro so she doesn’t see Melina as she slips out the other side of the ring, runs around the corner and nails her with a hard shot from behind. The referee comes over and orders Nitro to get back to his corner but the damage has already been done. Melina grabs Victoria in a front facelock then rams Vicky back-first into the side of the ring. The A-Lister rolls her reeling opponent back into the ring under the bottom rope and gets in after her. Victoria tries to roll away from Melina and pushes herself up onto her hands and knees but Melina briefly flashes her panties as she swings her leg up over her head and brings her heel down on Vicky’s back for a big ax kick. Victoria drops onto her back and Melina follows up with a pin.
ONE… TWO…VICKY KICKS OUT!
Melina screams out in annoyance but the Broken Diva is too tough to be put away so easily. Melina growls and pulls Victoria up into a front facelock then grabs the side of her Vicky’s trunks and swings her up over head before slamming her back down with a quick snap suplex. Victoria groans and thrashes on the mat as she slowly sits up. Melina runs to the ropes, bounces off and flies fee-first into Victoria’s back for a low dropkick. Victoria pitches forward and rolls over onto her stomach. Melina scrambles after her and starts laying into Victoria’s back with a hard series of forearms shots and elbows all directed to the same vulnerable area. But then Melina pushes herself up and plants her knee in the middle of Victoria’s spine. She keeps her knee wedged there as she reaches over and grabs Vicky’s jaw for a chinlock and then starts wrenching back. Unlike with most submissions in the WWE, Melina doesn’t have Victoria facing the hard camera. But the awkward positioning suddenly pays off as Mickie’s voice once again sounds through the arena’s speakers.
”HEY VICKY! It’s me again!”
The TitanTron switches over to show Mickie back in the production truck. “Vicky… You look like you’re in a tough spot so I thought I’d provide you with some more motivation while also making this match a little sexier. I just sent Whorrie and Maria off to find some handcuffs and a microphone. Make me happy and I’ll use them on you. And you know what? I had so much fun stripping Melina to her underwear last week that I think we should do it again. Bring me Melina’s shirt and skirt… and I’ll be very happy.”
The camera switches back to the ring. Melina still has Victoria in the chinlock but she’s frozen as she stares at the TitanTron in horror. Melina’s view of the TitanTron puts her in the perfect position to see the twisted slasher smile stretch across Vicky’s face. The Broken Diva has reached her demented second wind and suddenly surges back up to her feet. Melina is left dangling off of Vicky’s back in surprise. Victoria runs backwards and rams Melina back-first into one of the neutral corners. Melina grunts in pain while Vicky walks out of the corner and easily swings her opponent up into a fireman’s carry. Victoria spins around in the middle of the ring for a brief airplane spin then swings Melina off of her shoulders and nearly drives her through the mat with a vicious swinging sidewalk slam. SPIDER’S WEB! Victoria doesn’t even bother going for a pin. She rolls Melina over, grabs hold of her low cut black top… AND PULLS IT OFF! Melina’s been stripped down to her black bra which like her panties is half see-through. Melina pushes herself up and realizes she’s been stripped again. She lets out a loud, shrill scream. Vicky lurches back as Melina ended up screaming right in her ear. Melina takes advantage of the distance Victoria put between them by scrambling to the ropes and slipping out of the ring.
Victoria shoots back up. She isn’t going to let Melina get away this time. She chases after her and catches Melina by the boot as she tries to slip under the ring again. Vicky growls and Melina starts flailing wildly which causes her skirt to flip up and expose her panties while Victoria drags her out from under the ring kicking and screaming. Vicky flips Melina over onto her back and leans in as she goes for her opponent’s skirt but Melina pulls her legs in and then shoots them both out into Victoria’s stomach, force the Broken Diva away from her. Vicky drops down and rolls away while the A-Lister pulls herself back up and goes running around the corner. Victoria slaps the floor and scrambles back up as she chase after Victoria. A camera shoots Melina as she runs passed Nitro on the corner. Her bra-clad chest bounces and heaves with each stride. Victoria is outright sprinting after her opponent and is starting to close in as Melina rounds the next corner then quickly rolls into the ring. Victoria follows Melina in but Melina stretches her leg up overhead and greets her with a big axe kick to the back. Melina gets in another two quick stomps to Victoria’s back before she reaches out to tag Nitro back in. But before the A-List Couple can slap hangs, Victoria surges back up and spears Melina down to the mat.
Victoria remains on top of Melina as she starts wailing on her with hard forearm shots to the face. Melina wraps her legs around Vicky waist and the two women thrash together on the mat as Melina attempt to cover herself and defend from Victoria’s barrage of blows. Vicky eventually climbs off of Melina and then hefts her opponent clear off of the mat and up into the air before she drives her down on her bent knee for a pendulum backbreaker. Melina rolls off of Victoria’s knee and lands on her back on the mat. Vicky steps over so she’s facing the hard camera and plants her feet before leaping up into the air with a backflip and hits Melina with her signature standing moonsault, VICTORIA’S SECRET! Vicky smoothly rolls off of Melina and lands on her knees between her opponent’s legs then grabs Melina’s short white skirt and whisks it down her legs. MELINA’S BEEN STRIPPED TO HER BRA AND PANTIES AGAIN! The crowd is going wild and starts chanting THANK YOU VICKY! as Victoria tosses Melina’s skirt into the corner where the A-Lister’s top had landed. Now there was only one thing left to for the Broken Diva to do: win the match. And then she can join Mickie, Torrie and Maria for sexy fun time. The only people who seem unhappy with this development are the angry Johnny Nitro and the mortified Melina.
Victoria stands over Melina and pulls her half-naked opponent up off the mat and jams her head between her legs. She’s going for the Widow’s Peak. Melina starts screaming bloody murder as her horrible situation dawns on her. “JOHNNYYYYY!” Nitro gets in the ring illegally looking to break up the move but Carlito comes rushing into meet him and hits him with a dropkick to the knee and then a forearm shot to the face that sends Nitro out through the ropes and onto the floor. Carlito glances over at Victoria and sees that she has things well in hand then grabs the top rope and launches himself over it AND TAKES OUT NITRO WITH A PLANCHA! Everyone’s attention is back on Vicky as she hoists Melina up into the air and then over shoulder into a familiar Gory Hold, WIDOW’S PEAK… BUT MELINA ELBOWS OUT! Melina swings downward and between Victoria’s spread legs for a sunset flip powerbomb which causes Victoria to slam back-first to the mat. Melina scrambles to rearrange herself and folds Vicky over in a jackknife position. Referee Jack Doan drops down to check the shoulders and doesn’t see Melina’s grabbing Victoria’s trunks for extra illegal leverage. Broken Diva's crack, hell, her entire ass is hanging out as the referee counts the pin from the other side.
ONE… TWO… THREE! MELINA JUST PINNED VICTORIA!
Paparazzi plays as Melina immediately releases Victoria and bails out of the ring. Victoria gets right back up and looks furious as she turns to the referee then turns around so he can see her bare ass still hanging out from when Melina had been pulling her trunks. Jack Doan looks sheepish at having blown the call. Johnny Nitro rushes over to Melina and throws his roadkill fur coat over her like last week. Carlito slaps the ring apron and looks pissed while Lilian Garcia makes the post match announcement, “Here are your winners… Johnny Nitro and Melina! Which means Melina is the new Number One Contender for the Women’s Championship!” Melina jumps up and down and cheers like she just won the lottery.
The music cuts and once again shows Mickie James back in the production truck. The disappointed duo of Maria and Torrie once again lean into the shot.
“But we got the microphone…” Maria pouts like a sad puppy as she holds up the microphone.
“And the handcuffs…” Torrie adds as a set of metal cuffs dangle from her hand.
“Girls, easy, it’s okay,” Mickie says as she pushes them out of the shot so she can lean forward and stare into the camera. “Vicky got distracted doing what I told her to do. Vicky… I’m a woman of my word. Bring me Melina’s top and skirt and we’ll still play with you.”
The camera goes back to Victoria in the ring. She trudges to the corner and picks up Melina’s discarded clothing and stares down at the articles for a moment but then, with a look of utter fury on her painted face, she turns and throws them down on the mat. She drops down and rolls out of the ring and storms to the back looking absolutely furious with herself.
J.R.: I suppose Vicky didn’t think she deserved to be rewarded…
Nitro and Melina give Victoria a wide berth as she storms passed then slip back into the ring.
Mickie reappears on the TitanTron and reaches forward to pluck her championship off of the control panel, “Right… and then there’s you. Melina, you didn’t win clean but you still won. So that means you’re the Number One Contender for my Women’s Championship. Let’s not put this off… how’s this? You and me, next week, one-on-one in an Anything Goes Match for the Women’s Championship at WWE After Hours.”
Melina gets a microphone and responds, “I’ll have to check my busy schedule… but I think I can pencil you in for next week so I can win your championship.”
“Good, good,” Mickie replies. “Now… since that match is Anything Goes… technically there’s nothing stopping Johnny Nitro from being at ringside. But... if you agree to leave your boyfriend in the back… then I’ll leave all of my pets in the back so you and I can fight one-on-one. What do you say? Are you a woman? Or a little girl hiding behind a man?”
“Fine!” Melina agrees. “I just beat your favorite pet without any help! I won’t even need Johnny to beat you and take my rightful place as the top diva in the WWE!”
“Great, then it’s a date!” Mickie resolves, “I’ll see you next week! Oh… and as a show of good sportsmanship… the guys and I compiled a special replay with highlights from your match so you can look back and always remember your biggest win yet.”
Obsession sounds through the arena and acts a background music for the video montage.
The first clip is of Melina screaming after Vicky stripped off her top to reveal her black partially see-through bra. The speed switches to slow motion with a close up on Melina’s jiggling bra-clad chest as she crawls towards the ropes.
The next clip shows Melina flailing as Vicky drags her out from under the ring. Melina’s skirt is flipped up and her wiggling panty-clad ass is in full view as Melina thrashes on the floor.
The third clip looks like something out of Baywatch and has Melina’s boobs jiggling in slow motion as she runs away from Vicky outside of the ring with a look of terror on her face.
The fourth clip shows Melina down on her back with Vicky on top of her. Melina’s legs are wrapped around Vicky’s waist as the two women writhe together in a compromising position.
The next clip shows Vicky whisking off Melina’s skirt and then switches to slow motion as Melina is left lying on the mat in her matching black partially see-through bra and panties.
The following clip is in two parts. First it show Melina’s bent over with her head between Vicky’s leg as she prepares for the Widow’s Peak. The camera has a great close up over Melina’s ass. And then second part is from a camera on the other side of the ring that filmed Melina as she dangled fully exposed over Vicky’s shoulder in the Gory Hold.
The seventh and final clip shows the deciding pin-fall where Melina has Vicky rolled up. It has a close up of Melina’s panty-clad ass but also of Vicky’s naked ass as Melina holds her trunks for illegal leverage.
The camera cuts back to the ring where a red-faced Melina is starting at the TitanTron in shock. She eventually throws her head back and lets out a shrill, high-pitch scream the reverberates throughout the arena. “AAAAAAAH-AAAAAAAH-AAAAAAAAHHH!”
Mickie’s voice sounds through the speakers… "Oooh… It sounds like you didn’t like my Melina’s Greatest Hits Montage. Well… if you can’t handle that… you might as well not even show up next week. Because you’ll really hate what I do to you then.”
Melina is still screaming in the ring as the cameras cut and go into the backstage where RVD is taping up his wrists for his big title match tonight.
Paul Heyman walks on screen in an ECW baseball cap, a ponytail and a suit jacket. But the and scientist behind ECW formerly known as Paul E Dangerously looks nervous. “Listen, I respect you so much as a double champion. And no champion has ever kept up your schedule. I mean, last week alone… Edge... John Cena… Kurt Angle. But… it’s enough that it’s their ring, their rules, their referee on their terms. But this is a triple-threat match with John Cena and Edge. I mean, forget about the fact that the odds are against us… well I-I… I have to tell you… This scares the hell out of me.”
Rob Van Dam turns to look at Heyman. “I understand your concerns. They’re justified. But… I believe in myself, Paul. And I believe in ECW. Alright? I got this.”
RVD walks off but Paul Heyman still looks uneasy. Paul Heyman’s concerns turn out to be perfectly justified because that night Mickie James’ bad luck Kiss of Death takes its toll on RVD. The championship ends with Cena planting Van Dam with a big F-U, only for Edge to run in and nearly bash his head in with the WWE Championship and then pick up the scraps with a pin on RVD to win the championship. Edge leaves Raw as a two-time WWE Champion.
But RVD’s week gets worse the next night on ECW where he’s defending the ECW Championship against the Big Show in an Extreme Rules Match. Van Dam looks to have the match won but is betrayed by Paul Heyman and then pinned by Big Show to lose his second world championship in the span of two days. And if that wasn’t enough, after ECW Paul Heyman issued a statement on WWE.com that Rob Van Dam had been suspended for thirty days (which is coincidentally the same amount of time for a wellness policy violation). This meant that RVD wouldn’t get either of his contractually obligated rematches and was removed from the title match at Saturday Night’s Main Event.
Now with heels Edge, Johnny Nitro and the Spirit Squad holding all the male gold on Raw, the only face champion left is Women's Champion Mickie James who will be putting her title on the line against Melina next week.
Some people might not be happy that I got the guys more heavily involved in this chapter. But to me it makes sense and seems like the logical thing WWE would do. When you have a Mega Star like Mickie, you want to use her to try and bring the rest of the roster up a level. That’s why this chapter is called Star-Making Performance. It’s not just about Mickie.
Edge and Lita have both gone up a notch as major heels which will help as I slowly build towards the Mickie vs Lita match at SummerSlam. Melina’s become more relevant as the hungry new challenger with something to prove and she’s dragged Nitro up with her. Carlito is seen as an even bigger face by siding with Mickie and Victoria is benefiting majorly from being Mickie’s leading lady. Meanwhile, Torrie and Maria have settled themselves into their new comic relief/sexy fan service roles (which really isn’t that far of a stretch from what they usually did).
People might be upset that there’s actual wrestling in this wrestling story and won’t want to deal with extra plot in their porn. But I think the storylines that add extra drama are what set professional wrestling apart from ‘real’ sports. What I really wanted to start exploring is the ripple effect that perverted Mickie James is causing in the WWE.
So I hope you’ll all continue to read and enjoy my sexy wrestling fanfiction. I’ll post the final part of this chapter from my hotel room in Orlando before I leave for WrestleMania.
Chapter 6 Part 3
Mickie's Title Rampage
I’d like to thank everybody for their patience. This chapter was mostly plot and character building but we’ve finally reached the climax.
Chapter 6 - Star-Making Performance - Part 3
Monday Night Raw - July 10th 2006 - Sioux City Iowa
Raw begins with a recap of last week’s triple threat match for the WWE Championship which saw Edge nail John Cena with the championship after Cena hit RVD with an F-U and then pick up the scraps and pin RVD to become a two-time WWE Champion.
The cameras show the cheering crowd in the Tyson Events Center before focusing on Lilian Garcia who is waiting in the ring.
“Ladies and gentlemen… here is the new WWE Champion… EDGE!”
YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME!
Metalingus plays and smoke spews up on the stage as Edge struts out from the back in black pants, a black dress shirt and sunglasses. As usual he’s holding hands with Lita but this time he has the WWE Championship on his shoulder. Edge takes the title belt off of his shoulder and spins the WWE logo in the middle before raising it over his head. Lita is in an extremely low-cut, cleavage-baring, black tank top and black pants decorated with chains. She hangs onto Edge’s arm as they make their way down the ramp and get in the ring.
Lita advances on Lilian Garcia and rips the microphone out of the ring announcer’s hands and barks at her. “Get out of here!” Lilian scrambles out of the ring while Lita turns and presents the microphone to Edge.
“What did I tell you?” Edge addresses the crowd. “Two weeks ago, I stood in this ring and told everyone that the Rated R Superstar would own this summer!” Edge once again spins the spinner on his WWE Championship. “Well, I don’t want to say ‘I told you so’… so instead I’ll let Lita do that for me...”
Edge holds the microphone out to Lita who loudly jeers, “HE TOLD YOU SO!”
Edge takes his microphone back, “I bet J.R. is sitting there at the commentary table wishing that the triple threat match had ended differently last week. And he wishes with all his heart that it was John Cena standing here with the WWE Championship instead of me so he can shout ‘The Champ is here!’ But he’s not and he isn’t! Because once again I outsmarted him. Now I’m the champ! I’m scheduled to defend this championship at Saturday Night’s Main Event. This’ll be the first time the WWE Championship has been defended on NBC in over ten years! And who’s the one doing it? Not John Cena. Me! I told you that the Rated R Superstar would own the summer! And now I am! Ladies and gentlemen… THE CHAMP… IS…”
MY TIME IS NOW INTERRUPTS!
John Cena comes out from the back and immediately charges down the ramp in his black shorts and ‘Hustle Loyalty Respect’ t-shirt.
J.R.: It’s John Cena! He doesn’t want to wait for his championship match on Saturday!
Cena slides into the ring and Edge immediately goes to blast him with the WWE Championship but Cena ducks then spins around and hoists the off-balance Edge onto his shoulders. Cena goes for the F-U… BUT LITA HITS HIM FROM BEHIND! Edge slides off of Cena’s shoulders, runs to the ropes, bounces off AND LEVELS CENA WITH A BIG SPEAR! Edge and Lita bail out of the ring and leave Cena lying flat on his back.
The Rated R Superstar and his ‘steamy sexpot’ hop the barricade and run off into the crowd. Cena rolls over in the ring and glares after them. Edge and Lita head up the stairs and appear to be leaving the arena.
“Not so fast! Where do you think you’re going?”
The pervert-filled crowd erupts in cheers as the camera tilts upward to reveal Mickie James standing at the top of the stairs in her cropped pink ‘Rated M’ t-shirt, a white skirt, a white sash and white boots.
“Sorry Edge but I noticed a pattern,” the Women’s Champion informs the WWE Champion. “Two weeks ago, you and Lita hopped that barricade and stormed up the stairs out of the arena. Last week, you hopped that barricade and Cena chased you up the stairs out of the arena. And now this week… once again you hopped that barricade and now you’re trying to run up the stairs out of the arena. It was only a matter of time before someone caught on. Now I’m here to stop you from running away again.”
Edge glares up at Mickie. He doesn’t have a microphone but shouts loud enough to be heard, “YOU AND WHAT ARMY?”
A wide smile spreads across Mickie’s face, “I’m so glad you asked that!” She turns and shouts to the crowd, “PERVERTS! TO ME!”
The crowd of perverts is already excited for the Anything Goes Women’s Championship Match scheduled for WWE After Hours tonight so they quickly comply and close in around Mickie.
Edge and Lita begin to backtrack as they see Mickie and her army of perverts march down the stairs towards them. There’s no way they’ll be able to get up the stairs. Meanwhile the fans lining the stairs are a literally wall that prevents Edge and Lita from slipping out around Mickie and her army of perverts.
They reached the bottom of the stairs and Cena is waiting on the other side of the barricade for them. He grabs Edge and drags the flailing WWE Champion back over the barricade and the brawl starts all over again.
Lita is distracted watching Cena drag Edge around the corner and bounce his face off of the announce table. She doesn’t see Mickie coming from behind until the Women’s Champion leaps up onto her shoulders then swings around and takes Lita over the barricade with a hurricanrana. Mickie pulls Lita up off of the floor and rams her into the side of the ring then lifts her up and rolls her into the ring before following her in.
All four of them are now going at it. WWE Champion Edge and John Cena are brawling by the commentary table while Women’s Champion Mickie James and Lita are fighting in the ring.
SUDDENLY PAPARAZZI HITS!
Johnny Nitro and Melina come running out from the back. There’s no red carpet in sight and they’re both in ring gear. Nitro is in a pair of white tights with his usual design on the legs. He’s left his fur coat and title in the back. This appears to be a mission of destruction. Melina has learned her lesson about wearing skirts last week and is now wearing brand new ring gear. Her gear consists of a yellow top with a black strip around the bottom and a pair of black tights with a yellow band around the waist and yellow designs on the legs that match the designs featured on Nitro’s tights. The outer side of each leg of Melina’s tights is made up of a series of straps that expose a large expanse of Melina’s long, toned and tanned legs.
(See Melina’s ring gear from her 7-10-06 match against Trish Stratus for a better visual)
Mickie shoves Lita away from her and turns to face Melina who goes right after her. The A-List Diva sees this as an opportunity to weaken the Women’s Champion before their Anything Goes Women’s Championship Match later tonight on WWE After Hours. Meanwhile, Nitro races straight across the ring and climbs through the ropes on the opposite side before jumping off and nailing Cena with a flying roundhouse kick to the face. If John Cena were to be taken out before his championship match against Edge at Saturday Night’s Main Event… that would leave an opening which Nitro would be more than happy to fill as one of the men that took Cena out.
Lita comes back and hits Mickie from behind then grabs her arms and holds them behind her back so Melina can lay into the Women’s Champion with a series of hard strikes to the midsection. Outside the ring, Edge has recovered. He and Nitro grab Cena and throw him face first into the commentary table and nearly knock it over in the process. Edge pulls the top off of the commentary table so that Nitro can throw Cena on top of it. They look intent on putting him through it. Meanwhile, Mickie is still being worked over by Lita and Melina in the ring. It’s a four-on-two mugging.
YES, I’VE LOST MY MIND
All The Things She Said plays as the cavalry arrives. Victoria comes running out from the back wearing red ring gear under her usual black ‘BROKEN’ hooded sweatshirt. This week the jagged crack painted on her face is dark red instead of black and looks vaguely like blood.
But Vicky isn’t alone! She’s got Carlito with her! Carlito Caribbean Cool is wearing his usual trunks and his yellow Spit or Swallow t-shirt. Vicky and Carlito sprint down to the ring. Carlito slides in first but Victoria is only three steps behind him as she rolls into the ring and immediately goes after Lita and hauls her off of Mickie. Carlito keeps running and only stops to grab onto the top rope on the far side of the ring before he vaults over and takes down Edge and Nitro with a vaulting body press.
Carlito pushes himself up again and keeps up his attack on Nitro. He hasn’t given up on his hunt for the Intercontinental Championship just yet. Carlito’s attack on Edge has given Cena just enough time to regain his wits before he rolls over and throws himself off of the commentary table and onto the still prone Edge. The four men are now all brawling outside the ring in front of the commentary table.
Meanwhile, it’s chaos in the ring as well. Melina is briefly distracted seeing her boyfriend get taken down which gives Mickie the split-second opening she needs to recover and tackle her opponent for later the night to the mat. Mickie and Melina start clubbing and clawing at each other in a vicious catfight.
Over in the corner, Vicky pauses in working over Lita so she can grab hold of the red-haired diva’s low cut top and tear it completely open. YYYEEEEAAAAHHHH! The pervert-filled crowd lets out a loud pop as Lita’s revealing black bra is exposed. Lita lets out a scream of fury and surges out of the corner and knocks Vicky on her back and proceeds to lay into her with hard forearm shots to her painted face.
Raw hasn’t been on for fifteen minutes yet and it’s already broken down into chaos as the eight-person brawl rages on in and around the ring.
NO CHANCE SOUNDS THROUGH THE ARENA!
Vince McMahon storms out from the back with a microphone and no less than two dozen security guards.
“PULL THEM APART! PULL THEM APART DAMN IT!” the WWE Chairman yells. “I WON’T HAVE MY SHOW DISRUPTED TWO WEEKS IN A ROW!”
The twenty-four uniformed security guards charge down the ramp but only the ten bravest get in the ring and attempt to separate the four women. The other fourteen split up and rush around the ring where they proceed to swarm Cena, Edge, Nitro and Carlito and pull them apart.
Edge manages to get in one last cheap shot on Cena before he allows himself to be pulled away while Melina and Lita are both kicking and screaming as their dragging out of the ring. The rest of the in-ring security form a human barricade block Mickie and Victoria so they can’t go after the other two divas again. The Broken Diva’s dark red facepaint has been smeared by some of the shots Lita got in.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” McMahon demands. “This is my show and I make the matches! If the eight of you are so intent on fighting then you can do it in a sanctioned match! So tonight it will be Edge… Lita… Melina… and Johnny Nitro versus John Cena… Carlito… Victoria… and Mickie James in an Eight-Person Mixed Tag Team Match!”
At some point Melina had managed to slip away from the security because she grabs a microphone and loudly objects to the Chairman’s decision. “Hold on! You can’t do that! I have a Women’s Championship match later tonight! I didn’t even start this fight!”
“Then you should’ve thought of that before you started running amok on my show!” Vince snaps. “I don’t care who started it! I’m finishing it! I won’t be humiliated two weeks in a row! In fact, I’ve got half a mind to humiliate someone myself. The eight of you had better make yourselves scarce unless you want that to be you!“
No Chance starts up again and Vince McMahon turns and stalks to the back.
J.R.: It looks like Mr. McMahon managed to make order out of the chaos we just witness here. And now we’ve got a blockbuster Eight-Person Mixed Tag Team Match coming later tonight!.
King: But what does that mean for the Anything Goes Women’s Championship Match on WWE After Hours later tonight?
J.R.: Well, it looks like Mickie James and Melina are gonna have to pull double duty in order to get to their Championship Match.
A graphic is shown promoting the match that the Chairman had just announced. One side of the split-screen shows WWE Champion Edge and Intercontinental Champion Johnny Nitro in the middle with Lita and Melina over their shoulders and slightly behind them. On the other side John Cena and Women’s Champion Mickie James are front and center with Carlito and Victoria slightly behind them.
J.R. and King make a point to remind the audience at home that after D-X had humiliated Vince McMahon from outside the arena last week, he’d issued an open invitation for Triple H and Shawn Michaels to attend Raw in Sioux City. It’s clear that the Chairman is hell-bent on getting revenge and humiliating someone tonight. The entire roster should be careful to stay out of the warpath or else they might end up being humiliated in Degeneration X’s place.
After that, Raw goes to its first commercial break.
A video package is shown detailing all of D-X’s pranks from last week which cumulated with rigging fireworks to explode in Vince McMahon’s limo that left the Chairman covered in green soot.
Eugene is laughing at the video backstage with Snitsky when Vince and Shane McMahon show up. The Chairman takes offense to Eugene laughing at his expense and announces that he and Shane will be facing the Special Superstar in a Handicap Match in tonight’s main event.
After a brief encounter with Maria backstage, Ric Flair comes out to the ring and addresses Mick Foley. He isn’t happy about being left in a puddle of his own blood at Vengeance. Go figure. But Foley appears on the TitanTron and refuses to meet Flair out in the ring. The Hardcore Legend took offense to the Nature Boy calling him a ‘glorified stuntman’ in his book and goes on to claim that Flair had a ghost writer. He insists that he’s done with Flair and wants nothing to do with him anymore.
But it turns out that Paul Heyman and Big Show want something to do with Flair. After showing a recap of Heyman screwing RVD out of the ECW Championship last week, Big Show challenges Ric Flair to an ECW Championship Match on ECW tomorrow night which the Nature Boy accepts… before being attacked by the ECW Champion after Heyman provides a distraction.
D-X is still nowhere to be found, so Vince McMahon vents his frustrations by continuing to bully Eugene. The Special Superstar comes to apologize to Vince McMahon for laughing at him only for Vince and Shane to dump green paint on him and stuff his head in the toilet before kicking him out of their office and insisting that they will use him to send a message to D-X.
The love triangle between Viscera, Charlie Haas and ring announcer Lilian Garcia reaches it’s boiling point while Viscera and Charlie Haas are facing off in a brutal grudge match. Both men are attempting to impress the ring announcer with their increasingly violent attacks on each other. Eventually, Lilian Garcia can’t take anymore and enters the ring in an attempt to get them to stop. She insists that she just wants to be friends with both of them. But Haas and Vis are still intent on fighting. Haas rakes the World’s Largest Love Machine’s eyes and the blinded giant grabs Lilian Garcia, thinking she was Haas, and hits her with a huge Samoan Drop.
That finally stops the match. Referees and a trainers rush down to the ring to check on Lilian while Viscera and Haas briefly look on with concern. But then both men laugh and leave together. They seem unconcerned about any potential injuries that the woman who just friend-zoned them both has incurred. The trainers and referees fit Lilian with a stabilizer collar and bring a stretcher into the ring as Raw goes to a commercial break.
Raw returns from the break and the cameras immediately go to the back where Candice Michelle, dressed in tight black pants and a snug black tank top, is sitting against the wall outside the women’s locker room.
“Well, aren’t you just the poster girl for alienation.”
Paul Heyman walks on screen and Candice pushes herself up so she’s standing. Candice lets out a weary sigh. “Have you ever had a crazy person look you in the eye and tell you that you’re worthless? Mickie says that I’m not even worth breaking and that I’m not allowed in the locker room when her stupid harem is in there because apparently ‘I upset Whorrie’.”
The Playboy Covergirl grimaces as she folds her arms across her chest and once again did her impression of an emo kid. “I ran out on Torrie at Vengeance because if I had stuck around I’d be just as damaged as she is now. It wasn’t worth sticking my neck out and fighting that monster to save a woman that I have known animosity with.”
“Hold on… I come from the Land of Extreme,” Heyman stated, “I know a thing or two about monsters and crazy people. Mickie James may be unbalanced… but she’s just a woman.”
“It figures,” Candice scoffs derisively. “I’m the only one who sees her for the monster that she is. She took Victoria… the toughest diva on the roster… my best friend… and she cracked her like a walnut. And now she follows Mickie around like a second shadow. And Maria? The woman who ran out and me and Torrie at Vengeance? Mickie broke her too. Now the little ditz does anything that psycho wants and prances around here without a care in the world.”
“In that case, it sounds like you could use a change in scenery,” Heyman suggests. “Why don’t you visit ECW tomorrow night? You can dance with our resident exhibitionist during Kelly’s Expose. Let it be noted that I can be a generous messiah. If you decide you enjoy yourself on ECW… you’re welcome to stick around. Unless, of course, you’d rather stay here and continue to spend all night loitering outside the locker room.”
Paul Heyman doesn’t wait for Candice to respond and walks off.
Candice looks thoughtful, “It might be safer…”
“Get her to the ambulance!”
Candice blinks in surprise and watches as Lilian Garcia is rolled passed her on a stretcher by a group of trainers. Candice’s face lights up with sudden inspiration, “And now I know what I’m going to do for the rest of the night.” Candice turns to leave but then Maria walks passed her going in the other direction and gives a cheery wave.
“Hi Candice!” Maria is wearing a snug silver dress with the straps of her black bra peeking out from underneath as well as matching black and silver heels.
“Dumb tramp…” Candice mutters as she stalks off screen in the direction of the ring.
Maria stops and blinks in surprise, “What’s her problem?” She backstage interviewer shrugs and writes it off. “Oh well!” She turns and smiles at the still-rolling camera. “Hi camera-guy! Come with me! I’ll bring you into the locker room for an exclusive interview with Mickie James!”
The camera follows Maria into the locker room and is greeted by the sight of two half-naked women. Mickie James is sitting on a bench. Her pink cropped top is gone and she’s down to her white bra and white skirt. The straps of Mickie’s bra have been slid down off of her shoulders so that Torrie Wilson, who is only wearing a pale pink set of bra and panties, can massage Mickie from behind the bench.
The camera pans to the side and gets a quick view of Victoria who is sitting on the bench on the other side of the locker room. Vicky is staring unblinking at a small compact mirror in her hand and is seemingly in a trance as she reapplies her face paint which had been smudged and smeared during her earlier fight with Lita.
“Hi Mickie!” Maria calls out as she prances right up to the Women’s Champion. “I’m here to interview you!”
Mickie looks back at the blonde behind her, “Whorrie… that’s enough for now. Go help Vicky reapply her facepaint.” The blonde nodded and climbed over the bench so she could join Victoria off screen. Maria has a wide smile on her face as she plops herself down in Mickie’s lap. “Now remember our deal, my pet. Every question you ask will cost you one article of clothing.”
Maria blinks in surprise, “You were serious about that?”
Mickie grins and she spins Maria to the side and unceremoniously removes the interviewer’s silver heel and tosses it away. “Of course I was.” Mickie doesn’t even wait for a second question and immediately removes Maria’s other heel, leaving her pet barefoot.
“But that was only one question!” Maria protests, “Why did did you take off both shoes?”
“Because that was a question,” Mickie replies. “I was being proactive. And also, I wanted to get to the fun part of the interview as fast as possible. You’re starting to run low on clothes. You’d better choose your next questions carefully or you’ll be interviewing me in the buff.”
“I… I had a great first question,” Maria assures her “But you’ve gotten me so flustered that I can’t remember it anymore.” Maria glances downward, “Now the only question I can think of is what size bra do you wear?”
Mickie follows Maria’s line of sight downward to her bra. Torrie had slid the straps off of Mickie’s shoulders in order to give her a better massage which has caused the sporty white bra to slip down a bit and expose a great deal more of Mickie’s cleavage than it was originally designed.
“I’m a 36D,” Mickie informs her with a confident smile. “Best money I ever spent.” She grabs hold of Maria’s snug silver dress and slowly slides it up her body until Maria’s black panties are revealed shortly followed by her black bra. Maria is now down to her underwear.
“You mean those are-”
Mickie cuts Maria off and holds a finger to the interviewer’s lips, “Ah-ah-ah. You’ve got two articles of clothing left and you still haven’t asked me anything important. Take a couple seconds and gather your thoughts before you ask me the question that’s gonna cost you your bra.”
Mickie removes her finger and then grabs Maria’s legs and twists her so she’s now straddling her lap and facing her. Mickie smiles warmly as she holds Maria’s sides. “Ready?”
Maria nods, “Mickie… tonight you’re competing in two matches. First the Eight-Person Mixed Tag Match and then your Anything Goes Match for the Women’s Championship against Melina on WWE After Hours. Are you worried that having to compete twice will negatively impact how you perform in your title defense?”
Mickie pulls Maria into a hug so she can reach around her and skillfully use one hand to undo Maria’s bra the pushes Maria back a bit and pulls the bra off completely. Maria is now sitting topless in Mickie’s lap. Of course, since she’s facing Mickie, all the camera sees is her bare back.
Mickie tosses Maria's bra aside and then picks up her Women’s Championship which has been resting on the bench next to her this whole time. She holds her title up in front of Maria.
“You see this Women’s Championship? I’ve been holding it since I beat Trish Stratus at WrestleMania. In case you haven’t been counting… that’s ninety-nine days. Ninety-nine. After tonight, I’ll reach one hundred and I’ll be in the triple digits. Over the course of these last ninety-nine days I defended this Women’s Championship against the likes of Trish Stratus, Beth Phoenix, Vicky and even you. I’ve beaten every diva on Raw. Trish, Beth, Vicky, Whorrie, Candice, you and as of last week, Lita. The only one left is Melina.”
“I’m not just looking to survive that Eight-Person Mixed Tag Team Match tonight. Vicky and I are going to make sure our team wins the Eight-Person Mixed Tag Team Match tonight. A win for our team means a win over all four of our opponents. And as an added bonus, all I have to do is tag in and I’ll automatically get my hands on either Melina or Lita. After that, I’ll rack up another win over Melina when I beat her on WWE After Hours. With that win, I’ll cement myself as not only the Women’s Champion but the top diva on Raw.”
“I’ve got an extra special celebration planned once you do!” Torrie calls out from off camera.
“I like the sound of that,” Mickie remarks before she turns her attention back to Maria. “So no, Maria, I’m not worried about wrestling twice tonight. In my eyes these last two matches are just the last two hurdles I have to jump in order to reach the one hundredth day of my reign as Women’s Champion.” Mickie smirks and glances down at Maria’s black panties, “Do you have any other questions for me?”
Maria looks back over her shoulder and smiles impishly at the camera as she slips off of Mickie’s lap and stands up in front of her. “Do you want me to help you warm up for your match?”
“I thought you’d never ask!” Mickie exclaims before she grabs the waistband of Maria’s panties and yanks them down to her knees. Maria’s bare ass wiggles on the screen as she steps out of her panties and is left wearing nothing be her large silver earrings and a smile.
“Ric Flair told me earlier that there’s a time for business... and there’s a time for pleasure,” Maria recites. “I guess now’s the time for pleasure!” Maria climbs back into Mickie’s lap and the Women’s Champion pulls her pet flush against her. The two are soon in the middle of an intense make out session.
Vicky suddenly steps into the shot and blocks the screen. Her dark red crack facepaint now looks smoother and thicker after being reapplied by Torrie. The Broken Diva directs the cameraman back to the door. “This is about to get graphic which means it’s time for you to go. If you want to see Mickie in action and uncensored… tune into WWE After Hours later tonight.”
The cameraman backs out of the locker room but is able to get one last shot over Victoria’s shoulder of Maria burying her face in Mickie’s cleavage and motorboating her before the locker room door swings shut and raw goes to another commercial break.
Back from the break and D-X is still nowhere to be found as the cameras go out to the arena where Mike ‘the Miz’ Mizanin - the Host of Smackdown comes out to announce the start of the third annual quarter million dollar Diva Search. The Miz brings out the eight hopefuls. One of which is a spunky Brit named Layla El and another a French-Canadian, platinum blonde named Maryse Ouellet who is barely comprehensible and flubs her lines.
Following that, the cameras go backstage where Hacksaw Jim Duggan confronts Shane McMahon about his and Vince’s treatment of his friend Eugene. Duggan calls Shane spoiled and spoonfed before being blasted with a surprise chair shot from Vince McMahon. Vince passes the chair off to his son who lays out Duggan with a chair shot to the face. By taking out ol’ Hacksaw, the McMahons have ensured that there would be no one to help Eugene in his handicap match.
After another commercial break, Randy Orton squashes Val Venis in about a minute before announcing his intention of introducing himself to the legendary Hulk Hogan during his appearance on Saturday Night’s Main Event after which he’ll introduce himself to Hogan’s untalented daughter Brooke who is trying to be a pop star.
J.R. and King go over the card for Saturday Night’s Main Event which consists of Triple H and Shawn Michaels of D-X facing off against Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, Mikey and Mitch of the Spirit Squad in a Five-on-Two Elimination Match, Sabu competing in the first-ever Extreme Rules Match in the history of Saturday Night’s Main Event, an appearance by Hulk Hogan… and potential encounter with the Legend Killer, a big Six-Man Tag Match from Smackdown pitting World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley and Drax… uh… Batista against King Booker, Finlay and Mark Henry and finally the WWE Championship Match where Edge defends his title against John Cena.
PAPARAZZI PLAYS! IT’S TIME FOR THE EIGHT-PERSON MIXED TAG MATCH!
The red carpet is rolled out which prompts Johnny Nitro and Melina to strut out from the back to a chorus of boos. Melina is still wearing her new ring gear from earlier but Johnny Nitro has put on his fur coat and sunglasses and now has his Intercontinental Championship dangling out of the front of his tights.
Candice Michelle is in the ring and is replacing the injured Lilian Garcia as ring announcer for the rest of the night. “The following contest is an Eight-Person Mixed Tag Team Match! Introducing first, Melina and the WWE Intercontinental Champion Johnny Nitro!” BOOOOOOOOO!
Nitro doesn’t even have to bother blocking everyone’s view anymore as Melina does her signature split entrance in her new tights. He then slides between her legs and gets in the ring. Nitro and Melina pose in the middle of the ring then step back and await their partners.
Metalingus plays and once again smoke spews out on stage as Edge and Lita come walking ot hand-in-hand. Edge has changed into a pair of black Rated R tights and has the WWE Championship around his waist while Lita is wearing a cropped Sex and Violence t-shirt along with her pants from earlier. “And their partners… Lita and the WWE Champion… Edge!”
Edge and Lita join Nitro and Melina in the ring but the fans are even less pleased to see the Rated R Superstar and shower the four gathered heels in boos. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
My Time Is Now hits and John Cena comes running out to his usual mixed reaction. Which, due to the fact that Raw has been garnering an older audience because of it’s more mature content, is notably more boos and cheers. BOOOOOOOOOOOO! YYEEAAAAHH!
“And their opponents… first from West Newbury Massachusetts… John Cena!” Cena shows no fear and runs down the ramp and slides straight into the ring regardless of the people already inside it. But before Edge and Nitro can decide to jump him… Carlito’s music hits.
I SPIT IN THE FACE OF PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT TO BE COOL!
Cool plays as Carlito comes out from the back and immediately pulls off his yellow t-shirt. Carlito receives a modest pop as he makes his way down the ramp. YYYYEEEEAAAAHHH! “And from the Caribbean… Carlito Caribbean Cool!” Carlito joins Cena in the ring and now Edge and Nitro are set on not attacking their opponents before the match.
OBSESSION SOUNDS THROUGH THE ARENA!
Tonight’s an Anything Goes Match on WWE After Hours. So the crowd is predominantly perverts. Those fans erupt in the loudest ovation of the night as Mickie James comes jumping and skipping out from the back with Victoria walking behind her. Mickie has pulled her top back on and now she and Vicky are in the same outfits they had on during the big brawl earlier. “And their partners… Victoria and WWE Women’s Champion… Mickie James!” YYYYEEEEAAAAAHHHHH! MICKIE! MICKIE! MICKIE! MICKIE!
Mickie stops skipping after hearing her introduction and leans back to loudly whisper to Victoria. “I miss Lilian already. It’s gonna be a pain to train a new ring announcer but I’m sure we can get her squared away before After Hours.” Vicky simply nods in response. Her intense gaze briefly flicks over to the guest ring announcer as she leaves the ring but then returns to their four opponents. The Shameless One and the Broken Diva continue down the ramp and join the others in the ring.
Chad Patton is refereeing this match. He separates the teams and orders them to go into their separate corners. The three champions have all handed over their respective Championship Belts and Cena is standing in his team’s corner. Edge wants no part of him so that leaves the Intercontinental Champion Johnny Nitro in the ring to start the match against John Cena. Patton sees that Mickie, Vicky and Carlito and Edge, Lita and Melina are all on the ring apron in their designated corners and calls for the bell. The match is finally underway.
Cena and Nitro lock up and the Intercontinental Champion decides to try and out-wrestle the two-time WWE Champion. Nitro catches Cena with a wristlock but Cena counters with one of his own but Nitro counters Cena’s counter by doing a cartwheel and pulls the Doctor of Thuganomics into a side headlock. But Cena pushes the A-Lister off of him and into the ropes. Nitro bounces off but runs right into a wall in the form of a shoulder block from Cena. Cena pulls Nitro up and whips him towards one of the empty corners but Nitro reverses and Cena hits the turnbuckles again. The Intercontinental Champion charges after his opponent and hits a turnbuckle clothesline then drags Cena back into the middle of the ring with a front facelock. But Cena powers out and hits a big northern lights suplex. Nitro rolls away towards his corner and Melina quickly reaches down and tags herself in looking to stop Cean from gaining anymore momentum.
Melina tagging in automatically brings in one of the divas on the other team. Mickie James doesn’t hesitate for a second and immediately joins Melina in the ring. But Melina doesn’t look like she wants to face the Women’s Champion just yet so she slaps Lita on the shoulder and slips out of the ring. Lita blinks in surprise after being involuntarily tagged in. Mickie simply shrugs and calls out. “It makes no difference to me! Come and get your ass kicked!” Lita gets in the ring and charges at Mickie but Mickie ducks Lita’s attempted clothesline and catches her with a spinning back kick. Lita doubles over as Mickie spins and runs to the ropes but instead of bouncing off of them she drops down and drives her feet into Melina’s face for a baseball slide. Lita recovers and once again charges Mickie but the Women’s Champion rolls away from the ropes and catches the red-haired diva with a drop toe hold. Lita falls on the middle rope and Mickie quickly springs back up then runs across the ring, bounces off the opposite ropes and comes back so she can hit a running knee drop across LIta’s back. Lita falls off of the ropes and drops to the mat but Mickie pulls her back up and drags her to her team’s corner where she tags in Victoria. Vicky comes in and she and Mickie briefly double team Lita with a double irish whip into the ropes and then they catch her when she comes back and flip her clear over their heads for a big Double Hip Toss. Mickie exits the ring while Victoria make the first pin attempt of the match.
T-Lita kicks out!
Victoria doesn’t let Lita recover and pulls her up to her feet and hits a quick snap suplex then drags Lita back up and whips her into an empty corner where she clobbers her with a turnbuckle clothesline. Vicky lifts Lita up off of the mat and carries her out of the corner and then drives her opponent down onto her knee for a pendulum backbreaker. The Broken Diva doesn’t bother going for another pin attempt and instead goes to her corner and tags Mickie back in. Mickie climbs up onto the top rope and motions towards Lita. Vicky drags Lita back up and whips her towards Mickie who catches with a headscissors and then swings out of the corner for her signature elevated hurricanrana. MICK-A-RANA! Lita goes rolling back into the middle of ring and Mickie runs passed her to the ropes. Referee Chad Patton is caught up ensuring that Victoria is exiting the ring so he doesn’t see Melina jump back up and grab Mickie’s ankles as she’s coming off of the ropes. Mickie trips and falls on her face but soon starts to push herself back up onto her knees but Lita jumps back up and hits a low dropkick to her face. Lita rolls into her corner just as Melina jumps back up onto the apron and accepts that tag.
Now that Mickie is down, Melina is all too happy to get in the ring with her. The A-List Diva charges the Women’s Champion and drives her down into the mat with a hard ax kick to the back then begins laying into the Shameless One with a series of hard knees to the back. The Title Match between Mickie and Melina is now less than an hour away. Every attack that Melian hits Mickie with is meant to weaken the Women’s Champion going into their second match. Melina drags Mickie back up and whips her into an empty corner then goes after her and stretches her leg up and presses it into Mickie’s throat of a foot choke. The referee comes over and admonishes Melina but she ignores him so he starts his count. Melina uses every second before she finally pulls her foot away and allows the gasping Women’s Champion to drop to her knees in the corner. But Melian isn’t done she grabs Mickie and throws her back-first into the middle turnbuckle. Mickies bounces off of the corner and crumples to the mat in a heap. But Melina shows no mercy and drags Mickie across the ring to her corner where she tags Lita back in. Lita is perfectly willing to help soften up Mickie and hauls Mickie back up to her feet with Melina then the two heel divas each throw one of Mickie’s arms over their shoulders before falling backwards for a double russian legsweep. Lita automatically rolls on top of Mickie and makes the cover.
THR-MICKIE KICKS OUT!
Melina looks annoyed at Lita. “Don’t finish her off yet! The more you hurt her the better my chances are of becoming Women’s Champion tonight. And then you won’t have to deal with her acting like she owns the place anymore.” Lita pulls Mickie back up and flips the Women’s Champion passed her with a snapmare then spins and delivers a stiff kick to Mckie’s face that knocks her flat on her back. Mickie rolls over and once again starts to push herself back up but Lita runs passed her and bounces off of the ropes and immediately levels Mickie with an extreme neckbreaker. Mickie’s head bounces off of the mat and she rolls away from Lita and starts crawling towards her corner. If Lita and Melina keep going like this she might not even make it to her Championship Match tonight. Cena, Carlito and Victoria all have their arms outstretched as they await a tag from Mickie. But Lita cuts Mickie off and grabs her by the leg so she can drag her back into the middle of the ring. Mickie trashes on the mat and forces herself back up so she’s standing on one leg then jumps and swings her leg around into the back of Lita’s head. Enzuigiri! Mickie begins to frantically crawl to her corner but just when she is within an arm’s length of Cena, Edge comes from behind and yanks Cena’s feet out from under him. Cena’s head bounce off the apron as he crashes to the floor. Mickie turns in time to see Johnny Nitro do the same thing to Carlito. Edge and Nitro crack up and ruining Mickie’s chances of making a tag. Mickie reaches out towards her only partner left but Lita suddenly surges passed her and knocks Victoria off of the apron with a cheap shot!
Mickie is left staring passed Lita at her empty corner in frustration. Now she has no one to tag. But the Women’s Champion soon has other things to worry about as Lita turns around and hits her with another dropkick to the face. Lita kicks Mickie in the side and sents her rolling back into the middle of the ring then grabs Mickie by the hair so she can drag her back to the opposite corner and tag Melina back in. Melina comes in and she and Lita are now on the same wavelength. They both throw one of Mickie’s arms over their shoulders and then hoist her up over their heads for a double vertical suplex. But while she’s hanging upside down in midair Mickie starts kicking her legs like a madwoman and then swings down and drives both Melina and Lita’s faces into the mat DOUBLE SWINGING DDT! All three women are down. Mickie is the first to stir as she rolls over and starts her desperate crawl to her team’s corner. But she stops short when she sees that none of her partners are on the apron. At least none of them were. Carlito jumps up onto the ring apron and stretches his hand into the ring. Mickie dives… AND TAGS CARLITO! MICKIE FINALLY MAKES THE TAG!
Carlito rushes into the ring and is met by Nitro who came in automatically. Nitro goes for a clothesline but Carlito ducks it and then counters with a cool spinning neckbreaker. Nitro rolls away and staggers back up. Carlito charges him and takes him down with a clothesline. Nitro pops back up but Carlito takes him down again with a dropkick. Carlito pulls Nitro up off of the mat and whips him towards the ropes but Nitro reverses. Carlito jumps up and springboards off of the middle rope and catches Nitro with a springboard back elbow to the jaw. Nitro goes rolling over to the ropes. Carlito goes after him but the Intercontinental Champion lashes out his leg and hits a desperation kick to the knee. Carlito rolls away while Nitro slips out onto the ring apron then hoists himself up onto the top rope and springboards off looking for a springboard forearm. But Carlito runs under it. Nitro lands on his feet but Carlito grabs him from behind and hits his signature double knee backbreaker. BACK CRACKER! Carlito goes for the pin.
TH-EDGE BREAKS IT UP!
Edge pulls Carlito off of Nitro and into a front facelock so he can hit his signature lifting DDT, EDGECUTION! But Cena takes Edge’s interference as an invitation to come in as well and levels the World Champion with a running shoulder block. Edge scrambles back up but Cena takes him down again with another running shoulder tackle. But this time Cena stays on him and lifts the Rated R Superstar up from behind and hits his signature spin-out powerslam. Carlito and Nitro have both rolled out of the ring leaving Cena standing alone over Edge. Cena bends down and waves his hand in Edge’s face “You can’t see me!” Cena runs the ropes and nails the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Edge rolls over and starts to get up while Cean measures him up and then hoists the Champion onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry looking for an F-U… BUT LITA RUNS IN AND HITS CENA FROM BEHIND! Edge slips off of Cena’s shoulders and scrambles away into the corner. Cena turns to glare at Lita only for Victoria to run in and hit a shoulder block of her own. Lita staggers backwards from the impact but Vicky surges after her and knocks LIta over the top rope and out of the ring with a big lariat clothesline.
Lita goes crashing down to the floor while Victoria stares after her. But Melina comes in and hits her from behind. Vicky is knocked into the ropes and Melina quickly capitalizes and dumps her over the top. Victoria goes crashing down right on top of Lita. Now both women are down on the floor. Cena raises an eyebrow as he’s left alone in the ring with Melina. But for long. Melina turns around and runs right into a thesz press from a recovered Mickie James. Mickie tees off and hits a series of forearm strikes to Melina’s face then rolls off of her and stretches her leg back as she measures Melina for the Mick Kick. Melina staggers back up and Mickie lashes out her leg… MICK KICK! “EEEYAAH!” Melina let’s out a high pitched scream and drops to the mat which causes Mickie’s kick to sail through empty air. Melina rolls over the ropes and bails out of the ring. SHe nearly trips over Lita and Victoria in her haste to avoid getting hit by Mickie’s finisher. Mickie and Cena stand by the ropes and stare after Melina. Neither of them see Edge crouching in the corner and measuring Cena for a Spear. Cena finally turns around and Edge charges. SPEAR! But Cena dodges! MICKIE DOESN’T! EDGE HITS MICKIE JAMES WITH A HUGE SPEAR!
The arena goes completely silent. Everyone is staring at the ring in shock. The Women’s Champion is out cold. Even Edge looks surprised by what he just did which shows that he hadn’t actually intended to spear Mickie.
But that doesn’t seem to matter to the crowd. Because suddenly it’s like the mute button is hit and the audio returns. The entire arena is on their feet booing Edge at the top of their lungs. This isn’t just heat. This is a full-blown inferno of hatred. Edge damn near broke Mickie in half with the spear that had been meant for Cena. And now the Women’s Champion is unconscious which means there might not be a perverted Anything Goes Match for WWE After Hours.
BOOOOOOOO! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! RATED G! RATED G! THIS IS BULLSH*T! THIS IS BULLSH*T! BOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Edge bails out of the ring and he and Lita hightail it up the ramp. A wise decision because the fans look on the verge of a full-blown riot. Lita decides to add one last bit of fuel to the fire, “SAY HI TO LILIAN FOR US!” A torrent of boos follow them as they run to the back.
The match has completely stopped. Victoria, Carlito, Cena and Chad Patton are all crowded around Mickie James who is still unresponsive. Even Melina has come over and is leaning through the ropes and is looking on with apprehension. Her concerns are, of course, entirely self-serving because Mickie being injured puts her title match in jeopardy.
Cena growls and slaps the mat then turns and rolls out of the ring and sprints up the ramp after Edge and Lita. A small portion of the crowd actually pops for Super Cena. But almost everyone else is still focused on the fallen Women’s Champion.
“I’m getting her to the trainer!” Vicky suddenly announces as she scoops Mickie up into her arms. Victoria carries Micke out of the ring and up the ramp to the back. Melina spares Carlito one last glance then runs off after them.
Carlito is left alone in the ring with referee Chad Patton. But Johnny Nitro suddenly slides in and hits Carlito from behind. Carlito staggers forward but then lashes out and catches Nitro with an elbow before he slips around behind him AND NAILS ANOTHER BACK CRACKER! Carlito hooks Nitro’s legs and Patton dives to make the count.
Cool sounds through the still shellshocked arena. The referee calls for the bell and raises Carlito’s arm. Carlito picks up the win for his team.
Candice is as shocked as anyone by what just transpired as she stands up to make the announcement, “Here are your winners… Carlito… John Cena… Victoria… and Mickie James!”
Carlito receives a muted response as Raw goes to a commercial break. Everyone in the arena would likely be willing to sacrifice up a piece of clothing to have just one major question answered: Will Mickie James be able to compete again tonight?
Back from the break, things are looking grim. Replays of Edge spearing Mickie James and Carlito pinning Johnny Nitro are shown.
J.R.: As you just saw… Women’s Champion Mickie James appears to be injured after being speared by Edge in their Eight-Person Mixed Tag Team Match tonight. We are currently standing by and will give you an update on the status of Mickie James once we get one.
King: I hope Mickie’s alright! She’s what makes WWE After Hours what it is. We might as well cancel it if she can’t compete.
J.R.: What we can tell you is that Carlito pinning Johnny Nitro has earned him an Intercontinental Championship Match at Saturday Night’s Main Event. But that’s hardly a consolation because it seems like everyone here is concerned about the well-being of Mickie James.
The cameras suddenly cuts to the back and shows Edge and Lita scrambling into a limo outside of the arena. Both of them are still in their ring gear. A cameraman follows them inside just in time to catch Edge yelling to the driver “GET US OUT OF HERE!”
The limo peels out of the parking lot where the camera can still pick up the torrential boos coming from the furious crowd inside the arena.
But the feed suddenly cuts to another camera out in the parking lot as a white Range Rover goes speeding after the limo. The camera gets a brief glimpse at the driver… CENA’S AT THE WHEEL!
CENA! CENA! CENA! CENA! For the first time in a long time, Super Cena has an entire arena rooting for him. The cameras go back out to the ring where the raucous crowd is actively cheering for Cena to reap vengeance upon Edge.
King: I hope Cena catches him! Because Edge deserves whatever punishment John Cena inflicts on him.
J.R.: At the risk of sounding biased and unprofessional, I whole-heartedly agree with you, King. I hope Cena beats him like a government mule!
A bell rings and Candice stands in the ring and announces that the Handicap Match between the McMahons and Eugene has been made a No Disqualification Handicap Match. This means the Spirit Squad is free to get involved which leads to a seven-on-one beatdown for Eugene until D-X finally show up to put a stop to it. Shane and the Spirit Squad stand at the bottom of the ramp and wait for the perfect time to strike while Vince McMahon tries to get Michaels and Helmsley to stand still in the middle of the stage. Mr. McMahon’s ‘devious’ plan would make Wile E. Coyote grimace. A net drops from the rafters… and completely misses D-X. Vince is distracted by another one of his brilliant plans failing and doesn’t see Eugene. The Special Superstar rolls up the Chairman from behind and gets the surprise upset. HHH and HBK laugh from the top of the ramp while Vince looks on furiously. D-X informs the McMahons and the Spirits Squad that until Saturday if they’re not down with that they have two words for them.
The crowd is subdued through the majority of the main event. Everyone’s awaiting an update on either Mickie James’ potential injury or Cena finally catching up with Edge. J.R. delivers the go-home line as Raw goes off the air.
J.R.: I’ve just received word that Mickie James has regained consciousness in the trainer’s room. The cameras are standing by.and are going live in less than a minute. WWE After Hours will begin with an update on the condition of Mickie James!
WWE After Hours goes live to a chaotic trainer’s room. Melina and Victoria are arguing while a trainer checks on Mickie James. Mickie’s eyes are open but they appear to be glazed over. She’s just barely conscious as she lies on one of the beds.
A panicked Coach comes running in. “What’s going on? Is she awake? Can she compete?”
“Nothing’s broken but she has bruised ribs and is barely responsive,” the trainer answers. “I can’t clear her to compete in this condition. It’s going to be a struggle for her just to sit up.”
This is not what Coach wants to hear right now. “We’re supposed to have a Women’s Championship Match on WWE After Hours! Mr. McMahon is already furious after his plan backfired. Even I don’t want to give him this bad news!”
“If she can’t compete then that means I win by forfeit!” Melina quickly jumps in. “I won the right to face her for the Women’s Championship. I wasn’t the one that issued the challenge for the match tonight… she did. I even agreed to her stipulation to leaving Johnny backstage. It’s not my fault she can’t compete. I had nothing to do with her getting speared. I can go out to the ring and you can coronate me as the new Women’s Champion for tonight’s episode of WWE After Hours.”
Melina reaches for the Women’s Championship that was brought backstage for Mickie. But Vicky dutifully yanks it away. “No one’s handing you anything! You haven’t earned this!”
Everyone’s attention turns to Mickie James. The Women’s Champion lets out a high-pitched whine as she struggles to sit up. “Vicky… help…”
Victoria swoops in and helps Mickie sit up. Mickie’s breathing is labored and she’s biting her lip to keep from crying out. The Women’s Champion’s eyes still seem partially unfocused as she stares straight ahead into the camera that’s filming her.
“Mickie… take it easy,” the trainer cautions her. “You’ve got bruised ribs. And you might be delirious. Do you know where you are?”
“I’m… going to the ring…” Mickie answers, “I’ve got a title match…”
“There, she’s fine,” Melina points out. “Have her meet me in the ring and I’ll win the Women’s Championship fair and square.”
“FAIR?” Vicky growls. Mickie won’t last a minute in her current condition and everyone knows it.
“Absolutely not,” the trainer cuts in. “Mickie is not medically cleared. I doubt she could even make it to the ring in her condition. Forcing her to compete like this will just make things worse.”
Mickie shakes her head, “No one’s forcing me... It’s voluntary… I have to fight…” Each sentence is punctuated by a shallow gasping breath. She points directly at the camera. “That camera… it’s rolling... After Hours has started... All the perverts watching right now already paid for it... We have to have a Title Match... I can’t let them down...”
“She’s got a point,” Coach admits, “I don’t want to be faced with a lawsuit. We’ve been advertising a Championship Match all week. We have to do something! All of our jobs depend on it!”
“Then carry her out to the ring and I’ll pin her!” Melina offers.
“Making her compete this way would be a breach of the health and wellness section of her contract,” the trainer insists.
”I’ll fight her.”
Everyone turns to stare at Victoria.
“I’ll fight her,” Vicky repeats as she strokes the Women’s Championship that she’s still holding to it away from Melina. “I’ll defend the Women’s Championship in Mickie’s place. It’s my fault the little cheater even has this match in the first place.”
“That’s… unconventional,” Coach admits.
“Her perverts are already on the verge of a riot after what Edge did to her,” Victoria reminds her. “Stripping her of her championship without giving her a chance to defend it would be just the thing to push them over the edge. You know that any other night she’d be more than capable of fending off Little Miss A-List. She’ll be recovered enough to defend her title by Saturday Night’s Main Event. But you need a match for tonight and that’s what I’m offering you. I’ll fight Melina and defend the Women’s Championship for Mickie.”
Coach looks uncomfortable and glances over at Mickie, “Are you okay with this?”
Mickie stares at Victoria for a moment… and then nods. “Yeah. I trust her.”
“Melina?” Coach asks.
Melina doesn’t look happy but she still agrees. “Fine! I already beat her to get this match! I can do it again. This time there’ll be no rules for you to complain about being broken.”
“Then it’s settled,” Coach resolves, “Tonight’s Anything Goes Women’s Championship Match for WWE After Hours will be Victoria representing Mickie James against Melina.”
Melina shoots Victoria a glare, “See you in the ring.” She heads out of the trainer’s room and Coach follows behind her. The trainer backs away to give Mickie and Vicky some space.
Mickie places her hand on Vicky’s arm, “Remember… it’s not just about winning the match… you’ve gotta appeal to the perverts too.”
“Right,” Victoria agrees. “I’ll think of something. Are you going to be okay back here on your own?”
“Where’s the patient!?”
Mickie and Vicky turn to see Torrie and Maria standing in the doorway. The two newcomers look like they’d just gone shopping in the adult costume section of a Halloween Store.
Maria is a Sexy Doctor. Her costume consists of a skimpy white uniform that bears most of her legs and a generous amount of her modest cleavage and includes a stethoscope and a cute white hat with a red cross.
Torrie is a Sexy Nurse. Her pink uniform is even more revealing than Maria’s. Not only is it extremely short but the cut of the top goes all the way down to her stomach and exposes almost half of the hot blonde’s large breasts. Torrie’s costume also comes with small pink hat.
“What’s the status of this patient, Sexy Nurse Whorrie?” Maria asks.
“Edge speared her and now she’s hurting all over, Sexy Doctor Maria,” Torrie reports in a breathy voice from a bad soap opera.
“Where did you two get those costumes?” Mickie can’t help asking.
“I got us all sexy outfits for your victory celebration,” Sexy Nurse Whorrie answers. “I got you a Sexy Cowgirl costume since you like to call yourself Hardcore Country in the bedroom... and I got Vicky a Sexy Cop costume.” Torrie leans towards Victoria and loudly whispers, “That one came with a nightstick and a sets of handcuffs.” The Broken Diva grins.
“We were originally going to go as a Sexy Sailor and a Sexy Native American…” Sexy Doctor Maria admits, “But Torrie said those would make us look too much like the Village People. So we went with Sexy Doctor and Sexy Nurse instead. I’m really just surprised that she was able to get so many sexy costumes this far away from Halloween.”
“That’s because I wasn’t shopping in a Halloween Store,” Torrie informs her while shooting Mickie a quick wink. “But you’ll find out about that back at the hotel.” Sexy Nurse Whorrie switches back to her breathy soap opera voice. “What’s your final diagnosis Sexy Doctor Maria?”
“Edge is a big, mean jerk and I’m prescribing two generous doses of TLC stat!” Maria replies.
“Right away Doctor!” Torrie agrees. “I think I’ll start with a sponge bath.”
Unlike on Raw, the WWE After Hours camera is in the perfect position to see that Torrie isn’t wearing any panties under her uniform as she swings her leg up and climbs onto the bed so she’s straddling Mickie.
“But Sexy Nurse Whorrie… we don’t have any sponges…” Sexy Doctor Maria points out.
“No?” Torrie questions as she reaches up and pulls her costume even further open to reveal her large 36C breasts. “Then I suppose we’ll just have to improvise.”
“I like improvising…” Mickie remarks. A wide smile spreads across her face as she reaches out and cups Torrie’s exposed chest with both hands and begins to knead her tits in her hands. She licks her lips then quickly glances over at Victoria, “You know what? I think I’m gonna be okay.”
“Your doctor’s a quack,” Vicky dead-pans with a wary glance at Maria. “But if you’re sure… I’ll go handle business and leave you under their care. By the way… where did you leave that Sexy Cop costume?”
“Mmm! It’s in your locker!” Torrie gasps as Mickie starts to pinch her nipples.
Call her a quack if you want but Sexy Dr. Maria’s prescription seems to be working already. Mickie is in much better spirits and is well on the road to recovery.
“Hey… what happened to Edge?” Maria suddenly blurts out.
The camera cuts to inside a familiar limo as it pulls up outside the Marina Inn.
“Here we are!” Edge announces as he and Lita get out and head into the hotel with the camera following behind them.
Edge and Lita make their way to the reception desk and Edge rings the bell until a man in a suit with a bowlcut showed up.
“Can I help you, sir?” the man asked.
“Yes you can,” Edge glibly replies. “Obviously you know who we are.” Edge taps his WWE Championship. “And we have a reservation for a suite.”
“There seems to he a problem with your reservation…” the man informs Edge has he clacks away at his computer. “The room you reserved was actually already reserved from Women’s Champion Mickie James… by someone named… Whorrie Wilson? Is that real name?”
“SHE GOT MY SUITE!?” Edge yells.
“We’ve been trying to contact-”
“LOOK PAL!” Edge snaps. “I just ensured that Mickie James won’t be Women’s Champion for much longer. So since I’m the WWE Champion… I think you should just give us that room!”
“But we received special instructions on how to prepare that suite,” the man protests.
“It’s got a bed doesn’t it? And a working toilet?” Edge demands. “It’s not rocket-science brainiac! Mickie James won’t even make it to your sorry hotel tonight. So all you’ve gotta do is take her key… and give it to me.”
“But it’s not your…”
Edge glares at the desk clerk. “Listen to me for a second, okay? You see, there’s a reason people like me are champions. And there’s a reason why people like you are standing behind a desk in the middle of nowhere in your mid-thirties with a haircut like someone put a bowl on your head AND CUT AROUND IT! SO GIVE ME THAT KEY! NOW!”
“Yes sir…” the man reluctantly complies. He holds up a key card and hands it to Edge.
“That’s more like it,” Edge says, “And be sure to send up some room service.”
Edge and Lita stalks off for the elevator and the cameraman whispers a quick ‘sorry’ to the man at the desk before hurrying after them.
The cameraman follows Edge and Lita to the elevator and rides with them up to their stolen suite. Edge swipes the key and they walk along a small hallway into the suite’s spacious sitting room. There are separate doorways off to the side that lead to the suite’s bedroom and bathroom. But the main feature in the entry room is the large red loveseat that is big enough to double for a bed. The loveseat is situated in front of an extra-wide screen tv.
But it’s not the loveseat or the huge television that draws their attention. It’s the massive banner above it that is hanging across the wall and reads ”Congratulations Mickie! 100 Days!” It’s clear that Torrie had the suite prepared preemptively so they could celebrate Mickie’s successful title defense
“That banner’s a lie!” Edge growls, “I’m taking it down!”
Edge sets his WWE Championship down on the red loveseat then charges to the wall and tears down Mickie’s congratulatory banner before tossing it aside like garbage.
“Hey babe, look at this,” Lita calls out from by a glass table covered in scented candles and various bottles and jars. She pulls a bottle of champagne out of a fancy ice bucket that had been set near the table and shows it to Edge. “They’ve got chilled champagne.”
“Mickie’s not gonna have any reason to celebrate tonight,” Edge insists. “So I think you and I should have a belated celebration for me becoming the WWE Champion… at Mickie’s expense of course.”
“Look at all of this stuff…” Lita remarks as she bends forward to read the labels on the bottles and jars on the glass table.”They’ve got massage oils and incense and…” Lita trials off as she eyes on particularly large bottle. “Okay who would ever need this much lube?”
“There’s more here,” Edge observes as he surveys two baskets beside the loveseat. “Whoa! They’ve got a treasure trove of sex toys!”
It is now crystal clear what kind of store Torrie got their costumes from.
Lita joins Edge by the baskets of sex toys and the two of them begin picking \through them. “They’ve got handcuffs… blindfolds… ball gags... I knew that crazy b*tch was a pervert but I didn’t expect her to be this kinky.”
“Is this a riding crop?” Edge wonders as he pulls a long thin stick out of the basket. “Tell no one but maybe that nutjob is Rated M. She’s got everything here but condoms.”
“Whoa!” Lita gasps and actually lets out a laugh as she holds up an utterly massive purple dildo. “Oh, hey, a vibrator.” Lita tosses the dildo aside and pulls out a much small phallic-shaped toy.
“What about these?” Edge asks as he holds up a string of large beads.
Lita smirks and raises an eyebrow, “We’ve got enough lube there to drown someone.”
Suddenly there’s a knock at the door and a vaguely familiar voice shouts through the door.
“That was fast,” Edge remarks as he goe around the loveseat and opens the door.
But it’s not hotel staff outside… IT’S JOHN CENA!
Cena charges into the room and immediately levels Edge with a stiff clothesline. Lita screams in alarm as Cena drags Edge up off of the floor and throws him into the back of the red loveseat. The loveseat pitches forward and nearly flattens Lita as it flips and knocks over the baskets of kinky sex toys.
Cena throws himself down on Edge and starts wailing on him with hard shots to the face. He eventually backs away but only so he haul Edge back up and throw him across the glass table. The bottles and jars crash to the floor as drops down on the far side of the table.
Edge tries to crawl away but Cena races around the table and catches him. Cena lifts Edge clean up off the floor then spins AND SMASHES EDGE THROUGH THE GLASS TABLE!
“HOLY SH*T!” Lita shrieks in alarm from the other side of the toppled loveseat as Edge is left lying on the shattered remains of the table.
“Uugh… uuggh… no…” Edge groans as he crawls off of the broken glass and struggles to push himself back up onto his knees. There are a number of shallow cuts on his chest from the broken glass.
“This is for Mickie, you son of a b*tch!” Cena yells as he pulls the champaign bottle out of the ice bucket AND SMASHES IT OVER EDGE’S HEAD!
Edge’s long hair goes damp as he collapses on the floor. A small puddle forms around him from the spilled champagne.
But Cena still isn’t done. He leans over Edge and glares down at him. “Like I told you… that was for Mickie. But now this is for me!”
Cena drops down on Edge’s back with an elbow drop and then starts clubbing Edge on the back as he continues to beat the ever-loving crap out of him. Cena spots the WWE Title lying underneath the flipped loveseat and gets off of Edge to pick it up.
“Uuugh… no….” Edge rolls over and tries to crawl away.
“Hey don’t go, don’t go!” Cena calls after him. “Look, you dropped this… let me give it back!” Cena charges Edge lays him out with a shot to the head from the WWE Championship. Edge is left lying out cold on his back while Cena stands over him.
Cena turns to address Lita who is still crouching on the other side of the flipped loveseat. “You tell him that I’ll see him again on Saturday and that I’m taking this!” Cena drops the WWE Championship on top of Edge and turns to leave.
“Wait… was that…” Cena turns back around and goes back to the loveseat where he bends down to pick up a dual pronged dildo then turns to stare at Lita. “Seriously?”
“THAT’S NOT MINE!” Lita exclaims. “It’s Mickie’s! That woman is a depraved sex maniac!”
“Coming from you, I’ll consider that an expert opinion,” Cena quips as he shakes his head and tosses the dual pronged dildo aside then head back to the door. A familiar man in a suit with a bowlcut is standing in the open doorway.
“Sorry about the mess,” Cena apologizes. “You can get housekeeping in here to take out the trash. I’d say that counts as both of them.”
Cena walks out and leaves a trashes suite and an unconscious WWE Champion in his wake.
The cameras return to the arena where the earlier phenomenon repeats itself. An entire arena is chanting and praising Cena for taking out Edge and avenging Mickie. CENA! CENA! CENA!
Paparazzi once again sounds through the arena and the red carpet is rolled out for a second time as Melina makes her way out from the back for her big championship match. Johnny Nitro is nowhere in sight. Melina is greeted by emphatic boos. The perverts in the crowd are none too pleased with the A-List Diva after her attempts stealing Mickie’s Women’s Championship without fighting for it. The paparazzi swarm Melina and snap pictures of her as she struts down the ramp to the ring. She climbs up onto the ring apron and then drops down in her signature split. Melina’s new ring gear means that she is no longer flashing her panties to everyone as she gets in the ring. Melina stands back up and casts a wary glance at substitute ring announcer Candice Michelle and referee Jack Doan before striking her signature wide-legged pose in the middle of the ring.
YES, I’VE LOST MY MIND
All The Things She Said plays as Victoria comes out onto the stage. Vicky is still wearing her red ring gear and her hooded sweatshirt but now the Broken Diva has Mickie James’ Women’s Championship around her waist. Her intense gaze is locked on Melina as she heads down the ramp and gets in the ring. She pauses to remove her sweatshirt and police officer hat and hands them to a crew member outside of the ring. But then she steps out into the middle of the ring and removes the Women’s Championship. The fans pop when it’s revealed that Victoria stopped off at the women’s locker room and found her costume at some point while Cena was beating the hell out of Edge at the hotel. Melina’s eyes go wide in horror as she stares at the handcuffs and the nightstick that are hanging on the belt from Victoria’s Sexy Cop outfit. It’s Anything Goes in this match. Handcuffs and a nightstick are perfectly legal. Melina is now feeling slightly less confident than she was when she first came out.
Candice steps in between the two women for an official pre-match introduction. “Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one-fall and is an Anything Goes Match for the Women’s Championship. Introducing first… the challenger… from Los Angeles California… MELINA!” Melina once again strikes her signature pose with her legs spread and her arm curled up overhead. “And her opponent… representing Women’s Champion Mickie James… from-”
“WAIT!” Vicky suddenly interrupts. “I almost forgot!” Victoria drops down and rolls out of the ring then approaches the barricade facing the hard camera. “Mickie always gives someone her shirt before a title match.”
The hard camera is already in the perfect position to see the entire wall of fans’ jaws drop as Victoria grabs her top and pulls it off. She’s not wearing a bra! The fans are left staring in shock as the Broken Diva stands right in front of them… COMPLETELY TOPLESS!
Victoria takes in the stupefied reaction. “What? Did I do it wrong?”
“NO!” a man in the front row quickly blurts out. Victoria nods and tosses him her top. But he makes no move to give her his own in exchange.
Victoria’s firm 34B tits are out in the open for everyone to see and she doesn’t even care. The fans are all too happy to show their support for Vicky’s alternative take on Mickie’s pre-match tradition. THANK YOU VICKY! THANK YOU VICKY! THANK YOU VICKY!”
Candice and Melina are both staring in open-mouthed shock as the topless diva gets back in the ring. “Alright. Now I’m ready.”
“I… right… um….” the flustered substitute ring announcer stammer before regaining her wits. “And-and her opponent… representing Women’s Champion Mickie James… from San Bernardino California… VICTORIA!” Vicky glares at Candice and takes issue with the replacement ring announcer's introduction but Candice doesn’t want anything to do with the Broken Diva and quickly flees the ring with the Women’s Championship. But Melian steps up and confronts the referee before he can call for the bell to start the match.
“She’s topless! She can’t wrestle like that!”
“There are no rules in an Anything Goes Match,” the referee reminds her. “And even if there were, there certainly wouldn’t be any against her stripping herself. If I was you, I’d be more concerned about the foreign objects on her belt.”
A wide, sick smile spreads across Vicky’s painted face as she pulls her nightstick off of her Sexy Cop belt.
“Great… now you reminded her…” Melina complains as the referee finally calls for the bell and starts the much-delayed but now, once again, highly anticipated title match.
Victoria immediately swings for Melina’s head with her nightstick but Melina lets out a loud shriek and ducks under it then lashes out her leg and boots Vicky in the stomach. Melina grabs onto the free end of the nightstick and tries to pull it away but Victoria has a firm hold of the handle. The two divas engage in a quick tug a war which causes Victoria’s naked and unbounce chest to jostle and shake. The A-List Diva is briefly distracted by the sight which allows the Broken Diva to yank back on the nightstick and pull her opponent into a stiff knee strike. Victoria lets go of the nightstick and instead grabs Melina by the collar. Melina drops the nightstick and tries to beg off but Victoria doesn’t buy it and whips her into the corner. Melina slams back-first into the turnbuckles but then Victoria charges her, jumps up into the air and collides with her opponent for a jumping turnbuckle bodysplash that rams her bare boobs into Melina’s face. Victoria steps back and pulls Melina out of the corner then grabs her and hoists the other woman clear over her head with a military press. It’s a picture-perfect moment as Victoria stands topless in the middle of the ring lifting her opponent off her head. Vicky chucks Melina up into the air and steps forward which causes the A-Lister to come crashing all the way down to the mat for an impressive military press drop.
Melina bounces off the mat and rolls onto her back. Victoria casts a glance over her shoulder at her opponent and then launches herself up into the air with a backflip and crashes down on Melina boobs-first for her Victoria’s Secret standing moonsault. Vicky doesn’t bother going for the pin. She rolls over to the ropes and climbs out onto the ring apron. Victoria watches as Melina pushes herself up onto her hands and knees then shoots herself over the top rope for a slingshot somersault leg drop that drives Melina back down in the mat again. The Broken Diva’s bizarre antics at the start of the match have thrown Melina off balance which is extremely dangerous when she’s in the ring with a veteran like Victoria. Vicky pulls Melina back up to her feet and into a side-headlock which squishes Melina’s face against her naked boobs. Victoria is all too aware of this and actually wiggles her chest against Melina’s face to further fluster her opponent before she whips her across the ring into the ropes and then catches her as she comes back with a big powerslam. Being topless hasn’t hurt the Broken Diva in the slightest. in fact, she’s using her half-naked state to give herself a firm advantage as the match continues with Vicky once again neglecting to go for a pin.
Victoria sits up and stares straight ahead of her for a moment. There’s no telling what’s going through her mind. But as she rolls around on the mat, Melina’s flailing hand makes contact with the discarded nightstick. Victoria’s back it to her as she stares off in a distance so Melina seizes the moment and grabs the nightstick AND NAILS VICTORIA WITH A SHOT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Victoria lurches forward in her seated position and her head nearly slams into the mat from the impact. But she actually does hit her head on the mat when Melina springs up and comes off of the ropes with a dropkick to the back. The challenger stands back up, despite all the offense that Victoria has gotten in, the A-Lister has found her second wind. Victoria rolls over and gets on her hands and knees but Melina catches her with a near decapitating ax kick to the back of the neck. Victoria won’t stay down and starts to push herself back up again. Melina runs to the ropes comes this time comes back with a dropkick to the face that sends Victoria rolling over onto her back. Melina swings her leg up over her head and the brings it down on Victoria’s chest as she drops down into a split leg drop. Melina remains in that position so she go for a pin.
T-VICKY KICKS OUT!
Melina growls and goes for the nightstick again. She stands up behind Victoria and waits for her opponent to push herself up off of the mat then winds up like she’s wielding a baseball bat and shouts, “TAKE THIS! TOPLESS FREAK!” Melina swings… BUT VICTORIA CATCHES THE NIGHTSTICK! Melina’s eyes go wide in shock as the Broken Diva slowly stands up while seemingly staring straight through her opponent. Melina tries to pull the nightstick away but Vicky’s one-handed grip is too strong. Victoria grabs Melina’s wrist with her free hand then spins and throws her opponent and the nightstick clear across the ring. Melina bounces off of the mat and rolls into the corner where she slowly pushes herself back up. Victoria charges her and rams her shoulder into Melina’s stomach for a turnbuckle shoulder thrust. Melina doubles over and Victoria quickly climbs up onto the middle rope then grabs both sides of Melina’s face and stuffs the A-Lister face-first into her cleavage. Vicky wiggles her chest against her opponent’s face then jumps backwards out of the corner and drives Melina down into the mat with a big facebuster. Melina bounces off of the mat and flips onto her back and then Victoria forcibly sits her up, “You seem to have a problem with me fighting topless… here let’s even the odds, shall we?” Victoria grabs the back of Melina’s yellow top and yanks it off of her head. Melina lets out a shrill scream when she realizes she’s been stripped to her black sports bra. “EEEIIIYYYAAAAH!”
Victoria tosses Melina’s top aside then grabs her embarrassed opponent and hoists her up off of the mat and onto her shoulders in a fireman’s carry. Victoria swings Melina off of her shoulders, looking for her signature Spider’s Web swinging sidewalk slam, but Melina slips out and lands on her knees behind her. The desperate challenger once again reclaims the Sexy Cop nightstick AND BLASTS THE BACK OF VICTORIA’S BRACED KNEE! Vicky’s leg goes flying out in front of her and she falls flat on her back. Melina raises the nightstick up over her head and then drives it down on the front of her opponent’s braced knee. But she doesn’t stop there. Melina has gotten worked up into a frenzy and wails on Victoria’s bad knee with shot after vicious shot from the nightstick. “RAAH!” The Broken Diva howls in a combination of pain and rage as she sits up and bashes Melina upside the face with a wild forearm smash. Melina lurches back but then clobbers Victoria with shot to the face from the nightstick. The A-Lister climbs on top of Victoria and drives the shaft of the nightstick down into her opponent’s throat and starts choking in an unorthodox pin attempt that would be illegal in a standard match.
TH-Vicky violently bucks Melina off of her to kick out!
Victoria rolls over and crawls towards the ropes in an attempt to put some space between her and Melina. But Melina dives after her and catches her by the ankle. The challenger drags the champion’s stand-in back into the middle of the ring then lifts her leg up and drives Victoria’s knee down into the mat for a rough knee smash. Melina then drives her boot down into the back of Victoria’s knee and starts stomping on it. Victoria’s braced knee has a huge bullseye on it. If Melina keeps this up the Broken Diva won’t even be able to stand let alone fight back. Melina grabs Victoria’s foot and rolls her thrashing opponent over then lashes out her own leg and kicks the back of Vicky’s knee. Vicky lets out a howl of pain before melina stretches her leg all the way up into the air and then dives into a roll and snaps Victoria’s leg down onto her shoulder with knee snap. Melina rolls passed Victoria who sits up and clutches at her injured knee. The challenger comes back and hooks her arm around her opponent’s neck from behind for a chin lock. Melina cranks on the pressure and decides to talk some trash, “It’s okay Victoria! Just give up! Everyone will tell Mickie that you tried your best. I mean, what was she expecting? You haven’t won anything important in a long time.”
Victoria is sitting up facing the hard camera with her naked breasts on full display. But everyone’s focus is suddenly on the Broken Diva’s eyes as something clearly snaps within them and she starts seething. Vicky starts to violently thrash and struggle against the Melina’s hold. Her boobs are jiggling and shaking wildly and she flails and claws at the mat AND THEN SURGES UP TO HER FEET! Melina is left hanging off of Victoria’s back with her big mouth hanging open in shock. “But… your leg…” Either Vicky’s gone numb or she’s doing a masterful job of ignoring the pain in bad knee. Victoria yanks Melina over her shoulder and spins around then sprints across the ring, regardless of any pain in her knee, AND NEARLY DRIVES MELINA THROUGH THE MAT WITH A VICIOUS RUNNING POWERSLAM! Victoria rolls off of Melina and both women lie on their back on the mat. The sudden burst of insane adrenaline has faded and Vicky looks like she’s out of energy now. The referee stand between them starts to do the double Ko count. That motivates the two competitors into stirring. Victoria rolls over and crawls towards the ropes while Melina grabs referee Jack Doan and uses him to pull herself back up. “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?” Melina shrieks. “I AGREED TO FIGHT ANOTHER WOMAN! NOT THE FREAKING TERMINATOR!”
Melina turns away from the referee just as Victoria stands back up and lashes out with her bad leg AND NAILS A STIFF SUPERKICK TO THE FACE! Melina is knocked flat on her back and Vicky collapses on top of her. The referee goes to make a count but Victoria rolls off of her opponent and shakes her heads. “Mickie says… please the perverts…” Regardless of the fact that she might have already done that by competing in a hard fought battle completely topless, Victoria grabs Melina’s boots one at a time and pulls them off. “No more kicking.” The Broken Diva makes short work of Melina’s sock and tosses them away. Victoria’s next target are Melina’s new tights. She grabs the yellow waistband and begins to peel the tights down Melina’s tanned legs. Melina finally regains consciousness when she feels her pants being pulled down and her black thong being exposed. She immediately starts screaming bloody murder. “NO! NONONO! YOU CAN’T STRIP ME!” “Quit your squawking,” Vicky growls as she reaches back and grabs one of Melina’s discard shoes AND CLOBBERS MELINA WITH HER OWN BOOT!
Melina is once again knocked flat on her back which makes it all too easy for Victoria to peel her tights the rest of the way down her legs and pull them off. Melina is down to her black sports bra and her black thong! But that’s when Victoria digs further into her bag of tricks… and pulls the handcuffs off of her belt. The Broken Diva latches one of the cuffs onto Melina’s right ankle and then stands up and uses the other cuff to drag her opponent across the ring into the far corner where she attaches the cuff to the top rope on the right side of the turnbuckle. Melina is left lying on her back in the corner with her right leg dangling in the air from where it’s cuffed to the top rope. Melina is helpless. This situation is also somewhat reminiscent of the match where Mickie broke Victoria. And everyone watching remembers how that particular Anything Goes Match ended. The blood rushing to Melina’s head causes her to regain consciousness again. “What? What’s going on? You can’t do this! Let me go! This isn’t fair! What are you doing?” Victoria kneels over her trapped opponent and leers down at her. “I’m about to follow Mickie’s example… and break a b*tch.”
The fans are pleased. YYEEEAAAAHHH! BREAK A B*TCH! BREAK A B*TCH!
Melina isn’t. “DON’T YOU DARE! DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!”
Victoria kneels on Melina’s arms and pins them down to the mat then grabs hold of her trapped opponent’s bra. Melina has gone silent but still shakes her head in a silent ‘no’. But Vicky ignores the unvoiced plea and lunges backwards… AND RIPS MELINA’S BRA OFF! “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” Melina screams as her large tanned 38D breasts capped off with two delicious dark pink nipples are unveiled to the world. Due to the fact that her ankle is cuffed to the top rope her huge boobs are hanging down near her chin. She frantically wraps her arms over her chest in an attempt to hide her dangling tits from view. The perverts are happy. Now there are two topless women in the ring. They start up a familiar chant. THANK YOU VICKY! THANK YOU VICKY! The Broken Diva cocks her head to the side and stares out at the crowd. “But I’m not done yet…” The crowd goes silent and holds their breath in anticipation. Considering Melina only has one article of clothing left on her body… it’s not hart for her to guess Vicky’s plan. The topless A-List Diva is busy covering her chest so she can’t do anything to stop her opponent so she starts pleading and begging for mercy. “No! No! Please don’t! Victoria-Vicky! Please! I’m topless that’s enough! Don’t take my panties!” Victoria shakes her head and grabs hold of Melina’s thong. “Any last words?” Melina tries to squeeze her legs together around Victoria’s hand… but it doesn’t stop her… AND VICTORIA TEARS OFF MELINA’S THONG!
YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH! The perverts let out a deafening cheer. Melina is now dangling completely naked in the corner. She has her free leg folded over her bound leg to keep her pussy out of view and she’s still hugging her chest to hide her breasts. But Victoria has succeeded in removing every last stitch from Melina’s body. “I HATE YOU!” Melina explodes. “I hate you, I hate Mickie and I hate your perverted fans for encouraging this!” Victoria reaches down and pats Melina’s cheek patronizingly then turns away from her opponent and picks up the nightstick from earlier. Vicky waves the nightstick over Melina’s face tauntingly. “Since you like using this so much… why don’t you put your mouth to better use and start sucking on it?” Melina let’s out a barely audible squeak, “Why?” “Because it’s about to go inside you. And it will be slightly less uncomfortable if it’s wet.” Melina squeezes her legs together even tighter as she stares up at Victoria in abject terror. The horrifying parallel between her of her ordeal and the one her opponent had gone through at the hands of Mickie James was not lost on Melina and made her blood run cold. Victoria had once been relatively normal. But then Mickie had handcuffed her to the corner and jammed a microphone up her cooch. And now the Broken Diva was about to repeat the process with her. Melina couldn’t live with that and so she did the only thing that could preserve her sanity. “I QUIT! I QUIT! NO MORE! I GIVE UP!”
Jack Doan calls for the bell. All The Thing She Said plays again as the referee leads a reluctant Victoria away from the corner and raises her arm to signify the win. Victoria’s raised arms once again draws the crowd’s attention to the fact that she wrestled an entire match completely topless. The perverts are a little disappointed that Melina had quit before Victoria could bring the match (and possibly her opponent) to a fulfilling climax but they still cheer for Victoria. The Broken Diva has successfully defended Mickie James’ Women’s Championship. Candice makes the final announcement from the timekeeper’s corner, “Ladies and gentlemen… here is your winner by submission… the Broken Diva… VICTORIA! And that means… Mickie James is STILL THE WWE WOMEN’S CHAMPION!”
OBSESSION SOUNDS THROUGH THE ARENA!
Everyone’s attention turns to the entrance ramp as Mickie James emerges from the back. Mickie is now wearing her Sexy Cowgirl costume which consists of an incredibly short brown cowgirl skirt that bares almost all of her thick legs, a brown and white vest that is cropped to just below her chest and is fastened with a single button and of course a white cowgirl hat. And while Mickie isn’t jumping and skipping like she normally does when she makes her entrance… she’s walking under her own power. Sexy Nurse Whorrie and Sexy Doctor Maria are with Mickie and are both looking a bit ruffled. Torrie’s tits are still hanging out of her nurse’s costume. This moment spawns an odd but strangely popular online theory that Mickie James is some kind of succubus that gains power from sexual energy. It’s farfetched but still more believable than ditzy Maria actually being a knowledgeable doctor. Mickie, Torrie and Maria join Victoria in the ring. “Thank you Vicky…” Mickie whispers fondly before she reaches out to embrace the woman who defended her title in her stead. But Victoria holds out a hand to stop her and then goes to the ropes to retrieve the Women’s Championship. The Broken Diva comes back and places the championship on its owner’s shoulder. Mickie’s face lights up in a wide grin then she grabs the sides of Victoria’s panting kiss and yanks her mouth to hers before she kisses the other woman with everything she has.
The crowd pops and the kiss goes on for a while until an unwelcome voice interrupts.
“WOULD YOU KNOCK THAT OFF AND LET ME DOWN!”
Mickie turns and grins at Melina who is still shackled to the corner. “Microphone, Nurse Whorrie.” Torrie acquires one and hands it to Mickie.
“Melina!” Mickie calls out with a cheery wave, “I didn’t forget about you! Don’t go anywhere. We’ll be right with you...”
For Melina, the otherwise pleasant statement has a horrible undertone. Maybe drawing the Shameless One’s attention towards her when she was trapped naked in the corner hadn’t been a good idea.
Mickie turns back to Vicky, “You did good. Really good. And because I’m so grateful that you defended my championship when I couldn’t… I’ve got presents to give you. Sexy Doctor Maria! Present the first gift!”
Maria reaches into the opening of her Sexy Doctor costume and pulls out a small round wrapped package that’s about the size of her hand and presents it to Vicky.
“You’ve already got one…” Mickie admits while Victoria begins to open her present. “But I think you’ll still like it.”
Victoria finishes opening the present… IT’S A NEW PAIR OF HANDCUFFS!
“Now… if you’re up for it… I could use those on you,” Mickie offers, “OR if you’d prefer… you can use those on your already captive opponent.”
Mickie and Vicky turn to face Melina with matching wicked grins on their face.
“No! NOO!” Melina screams as she continued to hang upside down with her arms and legs crossed. “You can’t! The match is over!”
Vicky and Mickie advance on Melina but referee Jack Doan steps in the way and blocks them from reaching the diva trapped in the corner. “She’s right. The match is over.”
“Whorrie! I need a distraction!” Mickie requests.
Torrie slips in between Mickie and Vicky and grabs the sides of the referee’s face before pulling him into a kiss and ravaging his mouth. The referee’s eye go wide and are partially glazed over when Torrie finally pulls away.
“Now leave the ring,” Torrie instructs the dumbstruck referee.
Jack Doan nods blankly and leaves the ring. Torrie gives Mickie a thumbs up then steps out of the way and motions towards Melina who is staring after the referee with a look of betrayal.
Melina is screaming like a madwoman and actually uncovers her breasts so she can lash out at Vicky’s knee. But one big stomp to the chest puts a stop to Melina’s pitiful attempts at resistance. Victoria wastes no time in cuffing Melina’s free ankle then yanks her defeated opponent’s legs apart and cuffs her leg to the top rope on the left side of the turnbuckle.
“NOOOOOAAAAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!” Melina screams as she presses her hands over her crotch. She’s given up on trying to hide her boobs but now she’s desperate to keep her pussy from view.
“Hey perverts!” Mickie calls out, “WHO WANTS TO SEE MELINA DO A SPLIT?”
“You can’t… You can’t!” Melina wails.
“Cheer up, Melina!” Mickie taunts the captive while she and Victoria each take hold of one of the cuffs on the top rope, “You’ve always wanted the spotlight. This is your time to shine! LADIES AND GENTLE! PRESENTING… MELINA!”
Mickie and Vicky slide each cuff along the rope and forcibly pull Melina’s legs apart until she’s doing a full upside-down split. Mickie nods and Vcky and they both grab one of Melina’s wrists.. and pull them away. MELINA’S PUSSY IS UNVEILED TO THE WORLD! Melina is shaved bare which causes the thick lips of her pussy to stand out in contrast to the pink inside. Her split has not only spread her pussy wide open but it’s even showing off the puckered brown ring of her asshole.
THANK YOU MICKIE! THANK YOU MICKIE! THANK YOU MICKIE! The fans cheer wildly at Melina’s ultimate exposure while the A-Lister’s face goes bright red in utter mortification.
“Now where’s that nightstick?” Mickie inquires.
“NOOOO! NOOOO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!” Melina begs.
“Anything, huh?” Mickie questions. “Well that thick juicy pussy of yours looks good enough to eat.” The fans cheer and chant HLA! HLA! HLA! “Seems like the perverts agree. Does that sound good to you?”
Melina knows she doesn’t have a choice in the matter. She bites her lip and asks in a subdued voice, “After you do it… will you let me go?”
“Sure, sounds fair,” Mickie agrees, “But who ever said I was going to eat you? I’ve got another present to give Vicky. OOOH MARIA! Come be a good pet and give Melina a good licking.”
Maria smiles sheepishly but then nods in agreement. She starts to head towards Mickie but Torrie holds her back.
Torrie has a new microphone that she just retrieved from the timekeeper. “Mickie… before you get carried away… The timekeeper just told me the show’s running long. We’ve got three minutes until midnight. And then we’ll officially be in your one hundredth day as Women’s Champion.”
“That doesn’t give us much time,” Mickie realizes. “Maria, come here and sit on Melina’s face. When I say ‘go’ eat her pussy like you’re starving.”
“Yes boss!” Maria agrees. She goes over to Melina and sits on her face then starts to idly stroke the thick lips of Melina’s pussy with her fingers.
“And as for you!” Mickie addresses Vicky as she pulls the WWE Logo off of her microphone. “Get in the corner and drop your trunks. I’m gonna ring in my one hundredth day on top by making you scream.”
Victoria makes her way to the opposite corner. But she’s walking with a notable limp in her bad leg. She grabs the waistband of her trunks and yanks them down then steps out of them. Now Victoria’s naked bar her boots, brace and knee pads. The Broken Diva turns and leans back the corner with her arms spread and a wide, eager smile on her face.
Mickie turns to Torrie and gives her a lingering kiss then taps the blonde on the nose. “Keep an eye on the time and give us a countdown.”
Torrie nods and Mickie saunters over to Victoria. She cups Vicky’s chin and presses their bodies fully together for another heated kiss. Mickie eventually pulls back and glances back over her shoulder at Maria who is still toying with the bound Melina’s pussy while waiting for her cue.
“Thirty seconds to midnight!” Torrie announces as her quickly conferring with the timekeeper. A graphic with a countdown clock appears on the TitanTron and begins counting down from thirty.
Mickie backs away from Victoria and talks hold of her leg then lifts it up and rests it on her shoulder. Vicky’s pussy is spread wide open and Mickie begins rubbing her microphone against it while she lightly whispers. “Get ready…”
When the countdown clock reaches ten, Torrie and the perverts begin a countdown.
A quick blast of pyro goes off on the stage and a banner drops from the rafters showing a picture of Mickie holding the Women’s Championship on her shoulder with the words 100 Days under it.
“GO MARIA!” Mickie shouts as she jams the microphone inside Victoria.
“UUAAAHHHH!” Victoria howls in pleasure as Mickie begins to churn the microphone inside of her.
Meanwhile, across the ring, Maria starts licking and lapping at Melina’s upside-down and spread pussy. She was sitting on Melina’s face so the A-Lister’s moans were muffled as the adorable backstage interviewer continues to munch her box.
“MMMM! MMMMM! MMMMMMM!”
The perverts in the crowd are going nuts and are torn on what to watch. Maria has wrapped her arms around Melina and his squeezing the fleshy cheeks of Melina’s ass as she continues to eat her out. Meanwhile Mickie is pistoning the microphone in and out of Victoria at a rapid pace with one hand and is using her free hand to fondle the Broken Diva’s naked boobs.
Torrie glances out of the ring at Candice who is staring at the depraved scene in disgust. The blonde shakes her head and waves Candice off.
Vicky reaches her climax first and screams out as she squirts around the microphone inside her. “AAAUUGGGHH! AAAAAHH! MIIICKIIIIEEE!”
Melina follows seconds later and she cums all over Maria’s face. “MMMMMMM! MMHHMMMM! MHHHHHHMMMMMM!”
The fans go wild with a loud cheer. THAT WAS AWESOME! THAT WAS AWESOME!
Mickie removes the microphone and steps backwards. Vickys legs give out and she drops down to sit with her legs spread in the corner.
“Thanks Vicky!” Mickie exclaims as she kneels in front of Vicky and plants a quick kiss on Victoria’s forehead.
Torrie bents down which causes her skimpy nurse uniform to ride up and expose her ass and pussy to the crowd as she fishes into her shoe and pulls out a tiny silver key.
Maria climbs off of Melina and steps out of the way. The A-List Diva’s mouth his hanging open in a silent moan. Torrie uses the key to unlock both sets of handcuffs. Melina’s legs drop down to the mat and she immediately rolls out of the ring and drops to the floor… then crawls under the ring in a desperate attempt to finally end her exposure.
Sexy Doctor Maria and Sexy Nurse Torrie then cross the ring and help Victoria up and then throw the Broken Diva’s arms over their shoulders as they lead her into the middle of the ring. Mickie crawls over and kneels in front of Vicky then raises her Women’s Championship over her head.
Mickie picks up the microphone that Torrie had been using earlier. “So thanks to Vicky retaining my championship for me… I’ve got an announcement to make! My team won the Eight-Person Mixed Tag Team Match earlier so that counts as a win over Melina for me. No one here can say that I didn’t do my part and take one for the team. So now that I’ve beaten everyone on Raw… I’ve decided to expand my prospective pool of challengers. This Saturday is Saturday Night’s Main Event and it’s a chance to do just that. I’m officially announcing the Mickie James Bikini Bull Riding Contest. It’s an open challenge and is simple in concept… everyone wears a bikini and the diva that lasts the longest on the bull is the winner. And whether that woman is a Raw Diva that i’ve already faced, a diva from Smackdown or one of the ECW Vixens… I’ll put my Women’s Championship on the line against her next week on WWE After Hours in an Anything Goes Match! MAY THE BEST WOMAN WIN!”
The crowd pops at the announcement and WWE After Hours goes off the air with Mickie, Vicky, Torrie and Maria still celebrating in the ring.
And there it is. I hope the big match between Melina and Victoria was worth the wait. The Star-Making Performance referred to in the chapter title was actually referring to Victoria. Now she’s been elevated up close to Mickie’s level in popularity and at the very least it’s no longer a one-woman division.
I know there was a lot of build-up in this chapter. But I’ve always felt it’s the storylines that help elevate great matches up to the next level. If I wanted to watch pointless matches that don’t amount to anything I’ll watch the current Monday Night Raw. You, my readers, deserve better than that so I’m doing my best to create an interesting ongoing storyline.
Now if you’ll excuse me… I’M GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!
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