[First Time] Early memories of exhibiting myself

[Janethebrain]

I recently received a private message from one of you asking me to share my earliest memory of me being turned on by exhibitionism.

I was starting to write a response to the message which was just going to refer him to the post I wrote called “Coming out of my shell”. And then while I was in the middle of typing my reply, I suddenly had a major flashback to what I’m certain was my very first exhibitionist experience, which then quickly led to my first and second stripping games before coming to an abrupt end a few days later.

I haven't thought about this in a long time, and given that these events took place around 30 years ago, I can't be certain that I have all the details right. But here's what I remember.

During the summer between Junior and Senior year of HS, the core group that I was hanging out with were Barb who lived across the street, Pete her brother, and Art from down the street. We were all roughly the same age. Barb and Pete were Irish-twins and were almost always together. They were the rare pair of siblings that never seemed to fight. Art was the youngest of seven kids in his family, in fact he became an uncle when he was 13. He was extremely world-wise for his age, and he had a sister that was a couple years older than us.

It happened when we were all playing HORSE on the basketball hoop on the back of Art’s garage. I remember we played a lot of basketball that summer, and we had a bunch of different places that we shot around. But when we played at Art’s house it was different. His family’s basketball hoop was on the garage and there was only 6-7 ft of alley before you ran into a solid wall of hedges bordering the neighbors yard on the other side of the block.

So one afternoon we were playing HORSE at Art's house when Pete, who turned out to be the lead pervert of our group, decided to try a new kind of trick shot. He dropped his gym shorts and did a shuffling layup with his shorts around his ankles. We all laughed hysterically at the sight of Pete and his white undershorts. Art was after Pete and he missed his layup and got an H. Because Pete missed, I didn't have to do it, and I made a shot from the alley, which Barb missed and also earned an H.

So it was Pete's turn again, and he wanted to continue the perv theme. This time he stood right in front of the basket, pulled his shorts down to his ankles and made his shot. Suddenly it occurred to me that Pete was not trying to win the game, he was taking things in a different direction. Art would surely make this simple shot, which would force Barb and I to show our underwear when it was our turn. I felt my heart speed up, and my face got warm. I looked at Barb to see how she felt about where her brother was taking the game, but she didn't seem fazed.

Art did in fact make his shot showing his jockey briefs which back then were what every guy wore and would now be called “tighty whities”. Then Barb took the ball and walked up to the shot location. She set the ball on the ground, and pulled her shorts down to her ankles before picking the ball up and casually making her shot. “Ta daa,” she exclaimed with her arms in the air after making her shot and pulling her shorts back up.

Now it was my turn and I definitely didn't feel as calm as Barb had looked when it was her turn. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking and I almost dropped the ball when Barb threw it to me. My underwear wasn't particularly sexy, and certainly nothing like teenage girls wear today, but I was suddenly very aware of how thin the cotton was. I was desperately trying to appear as casual as Barb had as I stepped up to the hoop to take my shot, but my mind went blank and I couldn’t figure out how to pull my shorts down while holding on to the basketball, even though Barb had just shown me the easiest way was to set the ball down and then pick it up again. I tucked it under my arm and tried to pull my shorts down with one hand, but that didn’t work very well. Art walked up to me and helpfully offered to hold the ball, which was nice of him, but that now meant that I would be looking right at him as I pulled my shorts down. I was blushing furiously at this point which everyone had to notice, but thankfully nobody mentioned.

I told myself that I was being stupid. This wasn't sex or anything even remotely like sex. This was more like the “show me your underwear” games that we had played when we were kids. And the t shirt I was wearing was long enough that my underwear might not even be visible. So why was my heart beating so fast?

I handed the basketball to Art, quickly pushed down my shorts, and took the ball back without making eye contact. I took a deep breath and then took my shot. Despite being only a couple steps away from the hoop, I missed by a mile. I bent over and pulled up my shorts as the rest of them teased me for missing such an easy shot. I just shrugged, I wasn’t much of an athlete and everyone knew it, so I wasn’t upset at the miss but I was still very much feeling the effects of having showed them my underwear.

“There should be a penalty for missing an easy shot like that,” said Pete.

I replied that there already is a penalty, I got a letter in the game which brought me to HO while Barb and Art each had an H. For the record, I was almost always the first out when we played HORSE, but I didn’t really care. I was competitive at academic things, but not sports.

“I was thinking about something better than that,” said Pete.

“What are you saying, we get spanked if we miss a shot?” Barb asked her brother.

“Yeah, something like that. Or we could just do a dare," Pete replied. Art thought it was a good idea too. My heart skipped a beat as I found myself nodding my agreement.

The idea of being dared, of having to do something, of not being in control of what happens next was absolutely electric to me, and remains so to this day. I'm pretty sure this was the formative moment that created the fetish that has defined my sexuality. Thinking back, I wonder if we had chosen spanking instead of dares as the penalty, would I be into BDSM today instead of games and dares and flashing?

"So what's my dare?" I asked, hoping they couldn't tell how I was feeling.

"Moon us!" Pete replied.

I protested that I had just pulled my shorts down in front of them two minutes ago, but they explained that showing your underwear and mooning were very different things.

The truth is, of all the dares I could have gotten, this was probably the easiest for me. I had always liked the way my ass looked when I was young (less so now), and if I was insecure about anything it was my smallish boobs, so showing my naked butt was not as scary as when I would eventually be dared to show my bra and then my breasts, but neither of those things happened that day.

We bantered back and forth for a few minutes as the boys listed examples of mooning from a bunch of movies I hadn't seen and then Barb simply said,

"If you get a dare, you have to do it."

The way she said it, so matter of fact, so certain, and coming from one of my best friends, I actually felt like I didn't have a choice. Being a bookworm who always got straight A's, I was very much of a rule-follower. I did what my parents and teachers told me to do and had a reputation for being a goody-two-shoes.

Ironically it was the same instinct to follow the rules that now led me to feel that I had no choice but to pull down my pants and show my bare butt in the alley behind Art's house. "If you get a dare, you have to do it."

As much as it probably looked like I was debating 'whether' I was going to do the dare, the truth was my mind was racing trying to figure out 'how' I was going to do the dare. Pulling my gym shorts and panties down would be easy, but I was also wearing a long t-shirt that almost covered my gym shorts so I would have to move that too. Do I lift my shirt first and then pull down my shorts, or pull down my shorts and then lift the shirt to reveal my butt? How long is a mooning supposed to last?

I decided on shirt first, and ten seconds since nobody had specified a time. I gathered my t-shirt up to my waist and then made a knot to hold it there. I turned so I was facing away from Pete and Art, looked up and down the alley to make sure nobody could see us, and then hooked my thumbs into my shorts making sure to grab the waistband of my underwear too. I glanced back over my shoulder and said, "Here goes...," and then I pulled down my shorts and panties at the same time and started counting one one thousand, two one thousand...

After ten long seconds I pulled my shorts back up and untied my shirt and let it drop. My heart was still pounding and my mouth was dry, I was incredibly turned on and hoped that it didn't show.

Pete and Art were both smiling and said that nobody would ever believe that I did a dare like that because I was such a goody two shoes. Barb warned them that if they told anyone about this she would tell her parents that she had caught the boys trying to spy on us while we were changing and they would get in big trouble. She looked directly at her brother and said, "You know they will believe me, right?"

Pete looked at the ground sheepishly, and nodded. I found out later that Barb had actually caught Pete spying on their older sister a few weeks ago and he had begged her not to tell on him. Their parents were very strict, and he did not want to find out what would happen.

We continued playing HORSE for a while. Art also missed an easy shot and was also dared to moon us which he did, but only for a couple seconds. A few minutes later we heard a bell ringing, which we all recognized at Pete and Barb's. Most of the families had a bell they would ring when it was time for the kids to come home for dinner and we all knew what each other's bells sounded like. Instead of a bell, my family had an iron "triangle" that I hated for some reason. I guess I was in that teenage phase where anything my parents did embarrassed me.

Pete and Barb headed home, and Art and I decided to just shoot around rather than continuing the game with only two people. After a few minutes, Art asked if he could see my butt again.

"You can't just ask to see my butt," I exclaimed. "It's one thing if it's a dare as part of a game, but you can't just ask me something like that." I didn't know it at the time, but that would become a guiding principle for the rest of my life.

Before Art could reply, I heard the dreaded triangle ringing and knew it was time for dinner. I tossed him the ball and said, "See you after dinner," and headed home.

After dinner, a big group of us all gathered to play Ghost in the graveyard, and it turned out I wasn't done doing dares for the day. But this has already become way too long, and Frank is complaining that I have been sitting in front of my laptop for hours.

So I guess I will say, to be continued...


- Jane

[baddaddy]

Jane, can't wait to read the rest of this adventurer. I always look forward to reading your post.

[kennycust3867]

This adventure is off to a great start! Can't wait to hear the rest of it. If your past stories are any indication, I'm sure it will be well worth the wait.

[jacksonhole]

I don't know what it is about your writing Jane, but your description of playing HORSE and ghost in the graveyard, and what summer vacations were like, makes me wonder if we grew up in the same neighborhood!

I am sitting here drinking my coffee and reliving all these snapshots of memories. Playing truth or dare in the attic with some other kids who lived on our block, kissing a girl in the bushes while playing flashlight tag, sleeping in a tent in the backyard and having other kids sneak over so we could play strip-Uno in the tent.

I haven't thought about these memories in decades. Thank you for taking the time to write your stories the way you do. You seem to worry about the length of your posts, but I for one would say, don't change a thing. The details are what make the stories come alive.

I'm looking forward to the next one. Tell Frank we said hello! Maybe if you show him your stories, he will be ok with you spending hours in front of your laptop!

[collector5757]

If I wasn't already a member, I'd have joined just to say "Thank you!" for this delightful story- looking forward to the coming chapters!

[piecenick]

I'm really hoping janet posts a followup, that brought back fond memories of being that age and everything was so exciting, and forbidden, that's what made it so exciting. We had a girl in our neighborhood group who was cute, smart, she's now an MD, and thought rules are for other kids. She was always the one who orchestrated any strip games or skinny dipping.

[Janethebrain]

This is a continuation of my last story. It actually happened the same day.

After dinner most nights, we would all wander out to the corner, see who showed up, and then choose a game to play largely based on how many people we had. That night we had a decent sized group so we decided to play ghost in the graveyard.

I don't know if any of you know this game, but the way it works is that one person is chosen to be the ghost, and he or she gets a hundred seconds to go hide somewhere. The rest of the players start at a "base" which can be anything, a tree, a swing set, front porch steps...it just has to be big enough that all the players can be touching it at the same time. Once the villagers (all the players who aren't the ghost) count to a hundred, they fan out cautiously looking for the ghost. If someone sees the ghost, they yell, "ghost in the graveyard" and everyone tries to get back to the base without being tagged by the ghost.

If you get tagged by the ghost, you become the ghost for the next round, and if you call out a false alarm, you get labeled the "fraidy cat" and everyone teases you. Later that summer we would invent other rules for the fraidy cat, but at this point it was just a name you got called.

The strategy for the ghost was to hide somewhere that you wouldn't easily be seen, but where you could jump up and start running very quickly so you could tag a villager. The best way to do it was to hide close enough to the base that the villagers would walk past your hiding place and the you would be between the villagers and the base they had to get back to.

Because we only played this game after it was completely dark outside, it was actually pretty scary which was a big part of the fun. You would be walking along, looking for any sign of the ghost and all of a sudden he would jump out of the bushes and start chasing you. Kids would be legitimately screaming in terror to the point where neighbors would sometimes come out to make sure everything was ok.

Because of this, the villagers almost never ventured out alone. We would walk in small groups for courage and be looking in all directions because you never were sure if the ghost was in front or behind you. It was so much fun.

Anyway, that night after it got dark we played GITG, as we usually did. Barb, Art, Pete and me mostly stuck together as we searched for the ghost while keeping an eye on the base. We had made it through a couple rounds without any of us being tagged, but then we had a "patient ghost" game. Most of the time a game lasted around 5 minutes before the screaming and running, but every once in a while the ghost would hide well enough that it could go for a long time.

These were my favorite because after 15 minutes of walking around, you would start to get bored and lose the edge of feeling like someone was about to jump out at you. Then when they did, it was a much bigger scare.

We had been walking around for quite a while, and decided to go back to a yard we had already checked to see if we had missed something. To give you some perspective, when we had a big group like that night, the boundaries of the game covered ten houses on both sides of the street, including front and back yards. The only rules were that you couldn't go into a house and you couldn't climb a tree. That second rule was added by our parents after Robbie badly sprained his ankle jumping out of a tree to tag Jennifer. It is so weird the things that come back to me as I write this.

So we were in a backyard a couple houses from the base and because we had already searched it, Art, Pete, Barb and I were all spread out and not walking close together. Suddenly I heard Barb scream and then Pete started yelling "ghost in the graveyard" and I saw Steve, who was two years older than us, running straight towards me.

I screamed and started running trying to cut between two houses to get to the street. Steve easily caught up to me and I tried a last dodge to the right hoping to fake him out, but he was running fast and he reached out and caught me around the waist. It was halfway between a tag and a tackle, we didn't go to the ground, but he definitely wrapped me up and took me off my feet. And in the process, he got a handful of my right boob.

This was not incidental contact, and although it started out as an accident, once Steve realized his hand was on my boob, he gave me a couple deliberate squeezes. It was over in a second, and from the look on his face it had been mostly unintentional, so I tried to play it cool.

"That was a bit more than a tag," I said to Steve.

"Yeah, sorry about that," he said, "but it was nice."

At that point in my life I was super insecure about my breast size. My sister was much larger than me, my Mom was much larger and I felt I had gotten short-changed. This was the first time anyone but me, or a doctor (or my sister playing doctor) had touched my breasts, and even though it wasn't sexual, the fact that he said, "nice" actually really had an impact on me.

All the other kids were running back to base or already on the base as Steve and I walked back.

"I guess I'm the ghost," I said to Steve.

"Go hide in the corner of the Johnson's yard, and be a patient ghost," Steve said to me as we walked. "I will find you."

"Ok," I replied. I had no idea what he was suggesting. Steve was really cute, and I had always noticed him and liked him, but he was a couple years older and didn't hang out with us very often. I also knew he had several different girlfriends over the years that I had met at block parties, and they were all really cute. I truly couldn't imagine that he was interested in me.

When we got back to base everyone wanted to know where Steve had been hiding and how I got caught. Steve said that he had gotten lucky not to be found in the first couple minutes and then kept moving around to different hiding places after that. When he told about catching me he left out any reference to the tit grab.

They started counting and I ran as fast as I could til I got to the Johnson's house and then crossed to their backyard. They had a canoe resting against a metal shed and I tucked myself in between and tried to catch my breath.

After a few minutes I heard voices of the villagers looking for me. I was really well hidden but I could see anyone coming between the houses, and sure enough I saw Steve, but there were a couple other kids with him. When they got to the backyard he started directing them, on where they should search and since he was the oldest they all followed his instructions. He took the back corner for himself and walked right towards my hiding place.

I still wasn't sure why Steve had told me where to hide. He might even be playing a trick on me. I really didn't know what to expect. I was holding my breath as he got closer. He peaked around the canoe and spotted me and just smiled. "Patient ghost," he whispered, and then walked away.

I watched as he talked to the other kids and then they all walked into the next yard and continued searching. For the next ten minutes I stood there wondering what would happen next.

Then I saw Steve sneaking along the house coming back towards my hiding place. He tucked in with me and told me that he had convinced everyone that I must be hiding on the other side of the street and he would re-check some places.

"Can I see them?" Steve asked me quietly and he glanced down at my chest in case I wasn't sure what he meant.

My mind was racing, but the one thought that kept going through my head was "he already touched them" which somehow made it more reasonable that he should now get to see them. This makes no sense, but is a rationale I have used many times since, and I suspect this is where it started.

"Do you dare me to show you?" I asked him quietly.

"Yes, I dare you," Steve answered.

That's all I needed to hear. I pulled up my t-shirt, and then when I got to my bra I hooked my fingers into it and lifted it too. I felt the cool air on my breasts and my nipples immediately tightened and hardened. I didn't even know the word "flash" at this point in my life. He had dared me to show him my boobs, and I was showing him.

After a few seconds Steve said, "They're even nicer than I imagined."

He didn't make a move to touch them, and I didn't offer it, but I held my shirt up for a long time while he stared. My arms were getting tired so I started to put things back in place when he suddenly reached out and gently cupped both my breasts. I paused what I was doing and let him hold my breasts for a few seconds. In retrospect he really didn't know what he was doing. He never touched my nipples and only squeezed my boobs a couple times before pulling his hands away.

I pulled my bra back on and dropped my shirt back into place just as we heard voices. Steve said that he would send someone back this way so I could catch them and then he left without another word.

He did exactly what he said and two minutes later I jumped out and scared the shit out of Jennifer who thought that the Johnson's yard had been well searched.

A couple games later, Steve and I ended up searching in a different yard together and he looked around a couple times to see if anyone was close by and then suddenly leaned in and kissed me. It was not a peck, but we didn't make out either, it was just a nice kiss on the lips which was something I had only done a couple times.

We played a few more games of GITG that night, and I was certain that Steve and I were now "going out" but as it turns out we would never kiss or grope or do anything ever again. Not that summer, not ever. I have no idea where Steve lives today or if he even remembers that evening.

But I sure do. It remains the only time in my life I let someone get to second-base before they got to first-base. The first time I ever showed my tits to a boy. And the first time I had rationalized that I should do one thing because I had already done another.

What it didn't do is reduce my self-consciousness about my boob size, because I was convinced that the reason Steve and I never became boyfriend-girlfriend was that he wasn't impressed with my breasts. And that stayed with me for a long time.

But it did get me to the next step, going beyond mooning...

Over the next few days, I discovered that games were even better than dares, and I will share those stories when I have time to write them down.

- Jane

[Welee337]

Thanks for the detail stories, makes you feel like your there.