Limericks

[oralphile]

There once was a monk from Siberia
Whose morals were most inferior
He did to a nun
What should never be done
And now she's a Mother Superior.

A gay young man from Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
And they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, to whom.

There once was a lady named Arden
Who sucked off a man in the garden
He said listen fluff
Do you swallow the stuff?
And she said, gulp, beg your pardon?"

An Argentine Gaucho named Bruno
Said there is one thing I do know
A woman is fine
And a sheep is devine
But a Llama is numero uno.

There was a young barmaid from Crale
On whose tits were tattooed the price of ale
While on her behind
For the sake of the blind
Was the same information in braille.

The first man on earth was named Adam
Who complacently toyed with his madam
For on all the earth
There were only two balls
________and he had 'em.

[larrster]

There once was a lady from Douth.
Upon returning from a trip to the south,
Her father cried, "Nelly,
I fear there's more in your belly
Then ever went in through your mouth!"



There once was a lady, who had a yen
To diddle herself with a fountain pen.
The pen, it broke, the ink went wild.
She gave birth to an indigo child.

[jimskoolaid]

There was a young lawyer named Rex
Who had very small organs of sex
When charged with exposure
He said with composure
"De minimis non curat lex!"

[oralphile]

There once was a man from Madras
Whose balls were made out of brass
When he struck them together
They played Stormy Weather
And lightning shot out of his ass.

[Everard]

Written in response to a friend, who bet me I could not come up with a clean limerick with this first line:

There was a young lady called Hunt,
Who was not very big at the front.
She said that the cause
Was pulling on oars
Whilst laying face down in a punt.

[oralphile]

There once was a man from Adair
Who was doing his girl on the stair
On the 49th stroke
The bannister broke
And he finished her off in midair.

[oralphile]

There once was a man from Moline
Who invented a fucking machine
It would convert or convex
And fuck either sex
And it knocked up his darling wife Jean.

[rutout]

Good poetry

[Everard]

There once was a lady from Norway,
Who hung upside down in a doorway.
She called to her man,
"Just look at me, Stan!
I think I've discovered one more way."

[Dirtydan1974]

There was an old hermit named Dave,
who kept an old dead wh*r* in his cave,
you must admit she smelled like shit,
but think of the money he saved.