GF/Wife sexual past. How to deal with retroactive jealousy?

[GRITS]

If you think she saved herself for you,,,,, or,,,,,, have any problem w/ any girls past sex, boyfriends, etc.. (except criminals boyfriends).... you shouldn't have gotten married to anyone!!

[ulsafiu]

Originally Posted by shnowballs

Thankfully, unlike pa_boy, my lady's sex drive has not diminished since marriage. In fact, we've done way more hot stuff together than she ever did before we got together.

That said, there are a few things she's done with other guys before me that, because of time and circumstance, we haven't done.

The list used to be longer than it is now and that's how I don't avoid having jealous thoughts - I simply have a mental to-do list of the things she's done previously that we haven't yet done.

Obviously, I hope to get them all ticked off eventually. ;-)

What's the next thing in your bucket list? I would love to read it... if you feel like sharing it, of course.

[shnowballs]

Originally Posted by ulsafiu

What's the next thing in your bucket list? I would love to read it... if you feel like sharing it, of course.

Well there's no specific "next thing" on the list. I'm not planning to do them in order or anything. :-)

I've already written about one that is unlikely to happen (https://forum.oneclickchicks.com/show...75&postcount=4) but here's one that I think will, someday...

Back when we was about 19 she went to an afternoon screening at the cinema with the guy she was with at the time. Well, it turned out that a) they were the only two people at the movie and b) they found it a bit boring. So, being horny students, you might not be too surprised to find out that they started doing other things!

She tells me that they didn't actually fuck (neither of them had thought they'd need condoms in the cinema!) but they did give each other oral. She was wearing a skirt, so she simply took off her panties to give him access. When it was his turn, she knelt on the floor between his legs and went to work. After a few minutes, she started to get paranoid that a member of staff might call in and catch them so she asked him if he could "hurry up".

Again, not a surprise, he suggested she get her boobs out. In for a penny, in for a pound, she thought and took off her top! It worked and her then bf finished within the next minute. They then got re-dressed and attempted to watch the final few minutes of the movie. However, they couldn't really focus on it so just got up and left.

Anyway, in our relationship, over a decade-and-a-half of cinema going we've never ended up in a situation where we were the only two people in the screen. But if it ever does happen... ;-)

[Vortexvortex]

I've dealt with this in the past. My wife was with many men but I ended up asking details of every single encounter and it drove me wild. I was very young. If I were to enter a new relationship I'm not sure I would want all the details. But I think there's something about knowing another guy did something with your girl that you haven't that triggers jealousy. I don't have to worry about that though as we've done everything together. It also makes me a bit jealous to think she may look fondly on those other times with other guys. Obviously I think of my pst experiences and get excited about them, so why wouldn't she?

It's an irrational and immature yet unavoidable thought. I think most men want the women they've been with to think they're the best. It's an alpha male thing.

The best advice I could give is to listen to her. When she says you're the one for her, that she enjoys sex with you, etc. let that be enough.

[SpyStrip]

Originally Posted by Vortexvortex

I've dealt with this in the past. My wife was with many men but I ended up asking details of every single encounter and it drove me wild. I was very young. If I were to enter a new relationship I'm not sure I would want all the details. But I think there's something about knowing another guy did something with your girl that you haven't that triggers jealousy. I don't have to worry about that though as we've done everything together. It also makes me a bit jealous to think she may look fondly on those other times with other guys. Obviously I think of my pst experiences and get excited about them, so why wouldn't she?

It's an irrational and immature yet unavoidable thought. I think most men want the women they've been with to think they're the best. It's an alpha male thing.

The best advice I could give is to listen to her. When she says you're the one for her, that she enjoys sex with you, etc. let that be enough.

A very mature attitude to have about all of it.

[ukgoldfish]

First of all well done to Ulsafiu for starting this thread, I think its great and I've loved the discussion. I have to admit that I've privately messaged Ulsafiu on this topic as well and we had a great exchange of messages.

My opinion, based on my relationship with my wife Beth and previous relationships is as follows:

• Girls have the right to enjoy themselves with the guy they are with, at the time they are with them. Our time is now - other guys had their time before us - its all the same
• The guys that dated Beth had a right to enjoy her body and her pussy and I'd be disappointed in her if she hadn't done her best to enjoy them and let them enjoy her body
• Some guys just used Beth for a casual fuck. That was their right and I'm glad they both had fun
• Some guys dated Beth for longer and took their time to learn what she liked sexually, take her to places she hadn't been before and to get her to do the things they liked. All these things helped Beth to be someone who enjoys sex and likes to please
• Some guys were special. Some were one offs who were just great in bed and still make her wet when she thinks about what they did together. Other guys made her feel special as part of a relationship and that made sex great and she can still look back and enjoy those memories. All of that helps to keep her sexually interested and active

Getting Beth to talk about the fun she had with other guys makes us both horny and often leads to great sex. If you are jealous about your wife or gf's past then just remind yourself who is enjoying her pussy right then !

All men get jealous, its part of being a man. However, All the women I know and all the men who think like me will tell you something important ..jealous men get a lot less sex than those men who can make a woman feel comfortable and proud of the sexual person she is..

I hope this makes sense. Anyone who has read my other posts will know that I get a massive sexual thrill from learning about Beth's past lovers and boyfriends so I am clearly biased. However, if you read posts from other guys on this forum such as GRITS who is clearly an 'Alpha' male who gets a lot of sex with great women then you will see that jealousy is for the little guys...be the strong guy who can make your wife or gf love her past and you'll be the one who gets the benefit!

I'll look forward to seeing other people's opinions!
[/LIST][/LIST]

[Onestopfuckshop]

Best thing - assume wife gf has had a wild past..and continue to do most of those things..

BIG mistake I and many men make is assuming they are nuns...

However...

I really don't know why women need to go into details though.. Just sets yourself up for unnecessaery comparisons..its human..just get the highlights and move on..shouldnt some things be left for girl talk or with her gay best friend..?

That being said..my goals are to do most of these with my gfs..otherwise she may get it elsewhere..

In public.. anal...rough sex..dirty name calling talk...etc..

If its a serious gf.. No threesomes...if she is a casual hookup..where I dont value her that much..fine

[Onestopfuckshop]

..plus multiple orgasms.....anal..vaginal..clit of course

[Benuk]

Originally Posted by ukgoldfish

First of all well done to Ulsafiu for starting this thread, I think its great and I've loved the discussion. I have to admit that I've privately messaged Ulsafiu on this topic as well and we had a great exchange of messages.

My opinion, based on my relationship with my wife Beth and previous relationships is as follows:

• Girls have the right to enjoy themselves with the guy they are with, at the time they are with them. Our time is now - other guys had their time before us - its all the same
• The guys that dated Beth had a right to enjoy her body and her pussy and I'd be disappointed in her if she hadn't done her best to enjoy them and let them enjoy her body
• Some guys just used Beth for a casual fuck. That was their right and I'm glad they both had fun
• Some guys dated Beth for longer and took their time to learn what she liked sexually, take her to places she hadn't been before and to get her to do the things they liked. All these things helped Beth to be someone who enjoys sex and likes to please
• Some guys were special. Some were one offs who were just great in bed and still make her wet when she thinks about what they did together. Other guys made her feel special as part of a relationship and that made sex great and she can still look back and enjoy those memories. All of that helps to keep her sexually interested and active

Getting Beth to talk about the fun she had with other guys makes us both horny and often leads to great sex. If you are jealous about your wife or gf's past then just remind yourself who is enjoying her pussy right then !

All men get jealous, its part of being a man. However, All the women I know and all the men who think like me will tell you something important ..jealous men get a lot less sex than those men who can make a woman feel comfortable and proud of the sexual person she is..

I hope this makes sense. Anyone who has read my other posts will know that I get a massive sexual thrill from learning about Beth's past lovers and boyfriends so I am clearly biased. However, if you read posts from other guys on this forum such as GRITS who is clearly an 'Alpha' male who gets a lot of sex with great women then you will see that jealousy is for the little guys...be the strong guy who can make your wife or gf love her past and you'll be the one who gets the benefit!

I'll look forward to seeing other people's opinions!
[/LIST][/LIST]

Hi and thanks for such a clearly defined contribution.
I haven't been active on OCC for long but similarly I am loving the stories, particularly from British guys about relationships and situations which have happened.
I have been married twice now ( will I learn?)
The 1st was to a girl a little older than me. Our relationship started when she was married to her 1st husband so I can believe that once someone embarks on an affair, there is a real likelihood they will continue throughout their life doing the same, however regularly ( although that isn't for this thread)
I never thought anything about this through the 5-6 ys we were married and maybe didn't pay attention to the 'excitement' of sex with Pat.
I discovered after we split and divorced, via a friend of Pats, that she had actively been having affairs, of short duration, on 4 occasions and then the guy she left me for making 5. Now I think back there were a few subtle hints she made which otherwise should have made me wonder...but ignorantly I just carried on blissfully unaware. We had fun together definitely, enjoying similar interests, holidays and with an active social circle; so why think differently?
Back to the subject of 'jealousy regarding ex's', When I found out from her friend, Lucy, ( who I was by then having sex with , despite her being in a relationship !) I didn't feel jealous, more it was regret.
Because, the sex me and Lucy were having was definitely spiced up and more erotic when she told me all about my ex wife's affairs. Lucy admitted she too got a high when she explained about Pat and as she still knew my ex, occasionally could question her to get more facts to add to our enjoyment of sex. She in fact told me a few of her own stories too.
So I agree totally how horny hearing of the past sexual encounters of wives. or g'friends can make us feel, rather than a wasted jealous emotion. Its happened, enjoy it, we have that girl or wife at that time so enjoy how it can help the sex be amazing...Does that make sense?
My 2nd wife,Megan, was different to Pat in that she had never cheated on any of her (several) ex bfs. But her past was a series of short term relationships and one offs, especially when at university and her early 20's. Learning from how I discovered Lucy telling me things about Pat and indeed her own situations made our sex so much more exciting, I made a concerted effort to always discuss ex's with Meg. She was more than willing to do that and our lovemaking was always wilder and more passionate (until we too divorced after 4 years)
So no, jealousy isn't an emotion I have or do feel when a girl I am with sexually admits her past lovers and what went on. Its more a motivation to find out more.
I hope this adds a little to this discussion and thanks for who started it.

[ulsafiu]

Originally Posted by ukgoldfish

First of all well done to Ulsafiu for starting this thread, I think its great and I've loved the discussion. I have to admit that I've privately messaged Ulsafiu on this topic as well and we had a great exchange of messages.

My opinion, based on my relationship with my wife Beth and previous relationships is as follows:

• Girls have the right to enjoy themselves with the guy they are with, at the time they are with them. Our time is now - other guys had their time before us - its all the same
• The guys that dated Beth had a right to enjoy her body and her pussy and I'd be disappointed in her if she hadn't done her best to enjoy them and let them enjoy her body
• Some guys just used Beth for a casual fuck. That was their right and I'm glad they both had fun
• Some guys dated Beth for longer and took their time to learn what she liked sexually, take her to places she hadn't been before and to get her to do the things they liked. All these things helped Beth to be someone who enjoys sex and likes to please
• Some guys were special. Some were one offs who were just great in bed and still make her wet when she thinks about what they did together. Other guys made her feel special as part of a relationship and that made sex great and she can still look back and enjoy those memories. All of that helps to keep her sexually interested and active

Getting Beth to talk about the fun she had with other guys makes us both horny and often leads to great sex. If you are jealous about your wife or gf's past then just remind yourself who is enjoying her pussy right then !

All men get jealous, its part of being a man. However, All the women I know and all the men who think like me will tell you something important ..jealous men get a lot less sex than those men who can make a woman feel comfortable and proud of the sexual person she is..

I hope this makes sense. Anyone who has read my other posts will know that I get a massive sexual thrill from learning about Beth's past lovers and boyfriends so I am clearly biased. However, if you read posts from other guys on this forum such as GRITS who is clearly an 'Alpha' male who gets a lot of sex with great women then you will see that jealousy is for the little guys...be the strong guy who can make your wife or gf love her past and you'll be the one who gets the benefit!

I'll look forward to seeing other people's opinions!
[/LIST][/LIST]

The reason why I started this thread was because of you. Your advices were quite solid; and now that you elaborated more in here... I think they way better.

Confidence is key: you are better than any former lover she has ever had. Make her remember every cock that has been inside of her; then put yours in and make her feel like the others were not enough.

And clean every trace of past cocks by filling her with your hot cum everyday.