Under The influence - Page 5

osreb · #41 08-29-2008, 07:46 PM

time to party

osreb · #42 09-12-2008, 11:31 PM

I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired?'
Well...I'm fortunate to have a few friends who have chemical engineering backgrounds, and one of the things we enjoy most is turning beer, wine, bourbon,and martinis into urine. And, we're pretty damn good at it too!!'

nudd · #43 09-13-2008, 06:33 AM

on the beach

**Fango** · #44 09-13-2008, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nudd

on the beach

A drink in one hand and a cock in the other. I guess, for women, it doesn't get much better than that.

Thanks

Fango

osreb · #45 09-15-2008, 09:01 PM

A drunk is sitting in a bar. There is a very buxom
Blonde a few seats down from him with breasts size 44DD'S.
A fellow at the end of the bar calls for a beer. The
Bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It
Hits the lady's breasts and spills all over them. The
Bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the
Beer off of her breasts.
This happens a couple more times.
The next time , the drunk jumps up and starts to lick
Her breasts. She decks him! He's laying on the floor
Moaning and groaning.
'Why do you let the bartender do it and Not me?'
'Because he has............
A LICKER LICENSE!

crispus · #46 09-16-2008, 05:50 PM

A third of the same woman in pictures 5&6 of post 37, plus another new one

osreb · #47 09-17-2008, 11:06 PM

Scientific studies have shown that if you drink a litre of water each day for a year,you will consume a kilo of the e-coli bacteria,which is faeces found in water,in other words you will consume a kilo of shit!!
However if you drink alcohol,be it whisky,gin,vodka,beer or wine,this problem will not occur as the distillation process will kill off any parasites.Therefore it is healthier to drink alcohol rather than water.
In effect it is better to drink alcohol.and talk shit,instead of drinking water and being full of it.
Here endeth the lesson

osreb · #48 10-06-2008, 06:55 PM

"The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid."

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up . . . reading." Henny Youngman

"In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for you. Your sole function will be to drink beer." Dave Barry

"Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth." George Burns

"Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth." Steve Allen

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools." Ernest Hemmingway

"If your doctor warns that you have to watch your drinking, find a bar with a mirror." John Mooney

"I can't die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver." Phil Harris

"Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink." Unknown

"Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say, "I'm thirsty, not dirty". Joe Lewis

osreb · #49 10-07-2008, 08:48 PM

Man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches Maxine sitting by herself

Man: 'May I buy you a cocktail?'
Maxine: 'No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs.'
Man: 'Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?'

Maxine: 'No, they spread.

TheCrucialOne · #50 10-09-2008, 11:55 PM

all excellent so far. Anyone have the upshort shot of the college girl with the beer. Think its a coors light, and its clear she ain't wearin' undies... I haven't seen that one in a while.

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