[Exhibitionist] My nude performance on stage

[meg2001]

You asked about boundaries in rehearsals. I would say they were fluid. We didn't really set hard limitations but we were constantly testing and exploring new areas. Each rehearsal we'd kind of retread some areas that we'd covered before and then push into new things we hadn't tried before. Part of it was developing a flow and sequence that was really compelling and interesting and also graceful.

But we broke new ground during every rehearsal and that's what made it so exhilarating. I would always have butterflies wondering what was going to happen that night. Every time we would cross a new, bolder boundary there was this adrenaline rush and often a flood of arousal. The rush became addictive. The first time I was fully naked in front of my friends, the first time Andrew was naked, the first time he was erect, the first time I spread my legs and they could see my pussy lips, the first time they could see my asshole, the first time they made Andrew touch my breasts, my pussy, the first time they pressed our nude bodies together, the first time they put my hand on his cock, the first time they pressed his cock against my pussy lips and I could feel him getting hard against me, etc. We crossed these lines gradually over the course of a few weeks. And each time was thrilling.

I didn't want to do them all at once either. I wanted to savor it and draw it out - save some boundaries for the next rehearsal. I think we all wanted to let it develop organically like that. I'm telling you I spent the better part of a month in a constant state of arousal. I would come so quickly when I finally touched my clit.

After each run through we'd sit around and talk about what worked and what didn't work. Sometimes it was logistics. Like we realized to get me from doggy to laying on my back the two best ways were either to push me down so I was laying flat on my belly and then roll me over or move me up to my knees and then pull me back and to the side until I was laying down. We wanted 100% of my motions to be caused by the posers so tipping me over and having me flop from gravity did not look good.

And then sometimes we'd talk through what worked in terms of the level of eroticism. This sequence was too boring. Or this sequence was too much for Andrew stay in for long without getting an erection. We wanted the level of eroticism to build throughout the piece (just like the levels of violence in the brawl scene) to show the extremes to which society sexualizes us.

But we also wanted to audience to experience that same kind of rush as they saw each new boundary being crossed. I know some people were surprised when my top came off (I heard the gasps). And then we just kept pushing it to this extremely sexual place where Andrew and I were fully exposed and aroused and simulating aggressive, deviant sexual behaviors. We loved that every couple of minutes the audience would be like "holy shit" or you'd hear someone groan or something and you knew it was just blowing their mind over and over again. We wanted the audience to be fully aroused. We felt like that was the point and if the guys weren't rock hard and the women weren't dripping wet by the end of it then we kind of failed. (but don't worry we definitely succeeded there!) Honestly it was so hot to know that everyone in the audience was horny for us.

So we also talked about our own arousal. We decided since it was the point of the scene, that we should allow ourselves to be aroused as well. I was definitely aroused and the posers were too. One of the posers (Colin) who was a puppet during the brawl would always pitch a tent, especially when he would pose my feet. But poor Andrew. We thought it would be too much for him to play the scene with an erection, so he had to fight it and we had to devise ways to hide it. I feel like he had to suffer because of that in a way that the rest of us could just relax and enjoy it. But he didn't seem to mind.

[meg2001]

So you ask about whether we broke boundaries that we had set in rehearsal during the performance. It was kind of the other way around. We developed a massive amount of trust with each other. And so we did things that were fairly extreme in rehearsal that we knew we couldn't or wouldn't do in front of an audience. It was all about figuring out where we wanted the boundaries of the show to be. Like I said we didn't want to turn it into a sex show and felt like the message would be lost if felt like porn.

But we did push things much further during the rehearsals and you asked about those scenarios. I'll share an example. For the first week or so during rehearsals we practiced with clothes on - both in our underwear. After that, we knew we had to get comfortable with the nudity, so we one day we went for it.

Well for the next couple weeks we encountered a real problem because, Andrew just couldn't stay soft. I understood of course and it was flattering but we would pause and wait for him to get himself under control before we continued. And it was just taking forever and some days we wouldn't make much progress. We were beginning to wonder if the whole thing would work at all and maybe we'd have to play it with clothes on or scrap the idea altogether.

So one rehearsal I told him let's just keep going with it - thinking it would maybe make him sort of get used to it faster. Well it had the opposite effect. So we played the next 30 minutes or so with him erect and he just kept getting harder and harder and he was throbbing.

And the girl poser (Lucy) took full advantage of this and played the scene to highlight his erection. On the one hand we had talked about maybe playing the performance with him erect for moments here and there, so I think she was just trying to workshop different poses we could use in that scenario. And on the other hand I think she was really turned on and just wanted to keep pushing it. (Lucy had a crush on Andrew, she admitted to me)

So she wrapped my fingers around his erection and made me hold his balls like I was jerking him off (of course I held perfectly still). She put his erection in my cleavage and had me smush by boobs around his cock like I was giving him a titjob. She made him hold his erection and laid it gently against my lips (this is where I could tell he was throbbing). Honestly the difference in eroticism to play some of these positions that we had done many times with him erect vs when he was soft was really staggering. And poor Andrew was in terrible shape because he was so turned on but also there was no stroking - we were just holding still in all these poses.

At one point they had me on my back and him on his knees and my legs were on his shoulders and his erect cock was between my thighs and that's when he came. It was like spurt after spurt on my belly and all the way up to my boobs.

Andrew was so embarrassed! I actually felt really bad for him. But damn it was hot. I've thought about that many times in private. And Lucy was like, well I was just going to keep going until you climaxed so it was going to happen one way or another haha.

By the way eventually he started jerking off right before rehearsals. So he managed to stay soft longer. But he still got hard every time. But it did seem easier to control once he started doing that. Again he was embarrassed to admit that but he didn't need to be. Knowing that my body was making him so hard was always such a turn on for me.

[pball2295]

Great story Meg!

Okay, I'm just gonna suggest it if nobody else will! Share some nudies of yourself with us !!! Not from the performance, of course.

I saw you said in your opening thread "don't ask, I don't want my family to see." What about completely censoring your face first, and the pic not being from the performance itself. No one will ever know it's you!

...just an idea. (I know - a really unique one).

Certainly no worries if not...had to ask though!

[KarlMalone]

That sounds like beautiful agony for Andrew!

[jackpiker]

well meg 2001 . Nice write up thank you

if you could turn the clock back . Would you have done the nude scenes.

Or would you of not done them .

Did you have the butterflies and the nerves after the show when the penny dropped you had been nude in front of every one .
Or was it the feeling I've done it . An done it well . It all worked out .

Then would you do it again

[meg2001]

Jackpiker - Do I regret it? No. If I could go back, would I do it again? Absolutely. And I’m sure I will be nude on stage in some form or another again. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. And as I said, the rush is a bit addicting. I definitely feel the rush at the moment of exposure or at the moment that a new threshold is crossed. After the show - no butterflies or nerves. More like a euphoric feeling. Can’t stop smiling. Often very aroused. But lots of good feelings.

Duran Duran asked about why it made me horny and whether it changed my sexual predilections in my personal life.

What turns a person on is such a complex and multi layered thing. It's easy to know that you feel aroused, but to dive deeper and understand why, is this really exciting sexual exploration / journey. So maybe I don't have it all figured out but here's what I know.

Part of it is a power dynamic. Your body and your poses are making a crowd of people hungry with arousal. Their desire for you. They want to come up on that stage and fuck you. In that moment, their carnal lust for your flesh trumps everything. To be so extremely desired by so many people (men and women) is a very powerful feeling and one that I find extremely arousing.

But the other end of the power dynamic in this case is that I'm vulnerable. I'm helpless. I'm at the complete mercy of the posers. When you give up control of your body for an extended period of time like that, you really start to inhabit the role of the puppet. I know it sounds weird. But you become fully committed. I became a puppet. I only moved from the posers and in the moment I would have let them do anything. They could have taken Andrew's erection and penetrated me with it and I would have let it happen. Someone asked if I wanted that to happen - sometimes I most definitely did. Of course it never did and we had huge amounts of trust with each other. But somehow giving up control, even just in mindset, was incredibly arousing for me.

I think I'm an exhibitionist, but maybe a weird kind of one. I don't want to just be sl*tty and flash my tits at someone. What's cool about the performance is that there's artistic merit to it. (I truly believe that we did more than just titillate the crowd and that our message was thought provoking) But beyond the art of it, it was also the posers who were in control and so it sort of gives me permission to enjoy being on display while absolving my responsibility for it. I'm not on display for the purpose of my own arousal, I'm on display for these other reasons and my arousal is just a side effect.

I saw another post here about fashion models showing their pussy lips on the catwalk as the model lingerie. That's really hot to me and I would love to do that. But I have no desire, in fact I find it a turn off, to think about flashing my boobs at a party or posting nudes of myself online. It just feels cheap somehow and takes the eroticism out of it for me. So, sorry pball2295, I don’t have any desire to post a nude of myself here. But if you happen to see the performance, I would love to show you every inch of me.

I think maybe I'm also interested in exploring a submissive side to sex. I don't feel that I'm naturally submissive as a personality - at all really. But the power dynamic of dominance and submission can be quite erotic I think. Maybe I'd like to explore both sides of that.

[uvm2019]

Originally Posted by meg2001

the first time they pressed his cock against my pussy lips

...

and that's when he came. It was like spurt after spurt on my belly and all the way up to my boobs.

Did they make you get STD tests beforehand?

Assuming this story is real....

[meg2001]

Originally Posted by uvm2019

Did they make you get STD tests beforehand?

Assuming this story is real....

Who is "they"? No. We are just a group of friends that formed an amateur drama group and found a venue to perform at. So "they" don't make us do anything.

[PalmsMan]

Originally Posted by meg2001

At one point they had me on my back and him on his knees and my legs were on his shoulders and his erect cock was between my thighs and that's when he came. It was like spurt after spurt on my belly and all the way up to my boobs.

Andrew was so embarrassed! I actually felt really bad for him. But damn it was hot. I've thought about that many times in private. And Lucy was like, well I was just going to keep going until you climaxed so it was going to happen one way or another haha.

Andrew may have been embarrassed afterwards. But, that type of orgasm, with no thrusting, just the eroticism of the situation, is very very powerful. He would have felt enormous pleasure as his cock was spurting. Don't feel too bad for him.

[pball2295]

Originally Posted by meg2001

in fact I find it a turn off, to think about flashing my boobs at a party or posting nudes of myself online. It just feels cheap somehow and takes the eroticism out of it for me. So, sorry pball2295, I don’t have any desire to post a nude of myself here. But if you happen to see the performance, I would love to show you every inch of me.

Just curious Meg, given that you've said you have exhibitionist tendencies, what is it about flashing your tits at a party or posting a nude online that feels non-erotic? Is it that it's a very easy to do, anyone can do it, and it feels sloppy rather than elegant?

I'm genuinely curious - not being combative in any way. In part, I'm asking because my inclination is (I think) to feel the opposite of you! Art and performance just isn't very erotic to me. It's...artistic. I prefer nudity when it's fun, sexy, revealing, and taboo. Nudity doesn't feel like those things in art to me.

Granted, I can completely understand why the situation you described was a turn on for you, Andrew, and everyone else. Just not quite sure I understand why the other forms of exhibitionism you described are an explicit turn off, because they seem in the same exhibitionist family.

Finally in case it isn't clear, this not me trying to convince you to post nudes lolol. I think I just find where you draw the lines to be surprising.