[QUOTE=primal]
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Roxanne
Many women, myself included, have an "early training marriage." I had one of those too. He taught me what I don't want in a real husband. Not enough women learn the lessons taught in that abortive first marriage -- which doesn't really have to have a license and a preacher to learn the lessons -- but I digress.
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It is very strange, the fetishes that humans have. I don't begin to understand the first thing about them only that they seem to take over all reason and make you lose a grip. A fact of life I fear but one that many women learn the hard way sometimes, invariably endure or come to accept as the norm. It is very easy to be swept away in any relationship by your partner's fetishes and the need to please. It is only when things go wrong in a relationship that people realise that either it was dumb or that you had inherited the fetish yourself through no fault of your own. Or was it dormant waiting to be unleashed.
I dare say you clean the windows often now.
This post intrigued me to the point of posting a reply because I really can't work this one out. In places it appears cynical yet a retrospective view of things past but also an aire of acceptance and willing on your part to participate. It also seems sad that you were allegedly subjected to this type of behaviour but submissive to the degradation.  |
I think you are over-thinking this one. Fetises, lose a grip, learn the hard way, accept as the norm, swept away, partner's fetishes and need to please, dormant, cynical, retrospective, submissive, degredation, confused.
A better answer perhaps is that the relationship with my first husband -- who was a little older than me -- began when I was 18, and won him in a strip poker game the first time I laid eyes on him. We were living together within a few weeks, we were engaged when I was 19, married when I was twenty, and divorced when I was 22. The window story happened when I was still 18, which is more than half my lifetime ago. I was writing about an 18 year old child, who was anxious to get out of her father's house and on her own, high on hormones and low on horse sense, in the first great love of her life. I wrote it as a 39 year old widow, telling a story, reacting to a photograph.
As for cleaning the windows often, while true, it isn't for the reason implied in your message. The place from which I will be moving this year has more glass than solid walls. There is a balcony outside, and floor to ceiling glass from the master bedroom, toilet, by the shower and tub, past the serving bar, living room and kitchen. I keep the outside glass clean, because the view of the lake, the mountains, and down the valley is spectacuar. I keep the windows inside the bathroom clean because of the steam. The feeling of showering or sitting on the toilet enjoying the view is a kick. I don't need to clean the inisde windows very often, other than the bathroom. I like the view from the bedroom too, but I haven't rubbed my naked body against the glass for many years.
Interestingly, the house I've purchased and will be remodeling (doing much of the work myself) is another place with a lot of glass, and like the other two places mentioned here, a lot of privacy because of the distance from me to any possible observer. The floor to ceiling glass and my enjoyment of the view is about the only similarity between the teenaged Roxanne and the Roxanne in this message, who is pushing 40. I'm a fun loving, hard working, involved woman who can play both dominant and submissive, but who almost never plays either part in her sex life or otherwise. The closest thing I have to a fettish is probably playing basketball, volleyball, softball and over the line. Oh, and playing poker, for both cash and (occasionally) clothing.
Roxanne