[Chasmo]

Each year for almost two decades the Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC as it's more commonly known, has hosted an annual opportunity for conservative activists and elected officials across the United States to share their views with one another and the world. Its speakers have included such notable political figures as Ronald Reagan along with such anti-establishment conservatives as Rand Paul. This year, however, the key note address at the conference -- to be held in Washington, D.C. -- was to be delivered by none other than Sarah Palin, the former Governor of Alaska.

Although Ms. Palin was scheduled to deliver her speech at CPAC on a Wednesday, the self-proclaimed hockey mom planned to arrive in the nation's capital a few days early to, among other things, take part as an invited guest panelist at Gonzaga High School's annual "Political Awareness Day."

The tony private all-boys Catholic school was able to secure the high profile appearance due to one of its trustees, Dr. Stuart Kerr, a senior political operative at the Republican National Committee during Ms. Palin's unsuccessful run at the bottom of the 2008 Republican presidential ticket, having remained close to the one time governor. In fact, Dr. Kerr's wife Ellie and Ms. Palin were quite close and when the former -- a rather supercilious although indisputably beautiful 55 year old brunette who could pass for 35 -- asked whether her more famous friend would mind "gracing" the school with her intellect -- such as it were -- and beauty -- uncontested -- the latter was more than happy to oblige.

Knowing that her friend and ally Ellie was scheduled to moderate the panel and that its only other participant would be a student's mother -- some liberal district attorney from a local Maryland suburb named Emily Duncan -- convinced the former Northern Lights pol that the Gonzaga event would be a great forum from which to broadcast her "message," trot out some themes for the following day's CPAC conference and get some beloved press attention without anyone else stealing her limelight. What's more, the self-absorbed ex-Governor saw it as a chance to make some frumpy, two-bit, liberal lawyer appear ridiculous, just as the lefty press had so often done to her. She truly loved that idea most of all.

* * *

"Guess what mom," enthused Will Parnell as he and two of his Gonzaga crew teammates hopped into the back seat of his mother's 2016 Range Rover Sport.

But, before he could finish his sentence his imperious if not breathtakingly beautiful mother importuned, "take off those soaking wet shoes -- all of you. I don't need you sullying my brand new car."

"And sit on the towels I put out for you," she continued, glaring through the rear view mirror at her son's friend Calum Duncan.
"Were you raised in a barn Mr. Duncan?"

"No ma'am," the chided teen replied, embarrassed by being scolded and infuriated that Will's bossy MILF of a mom always seemed to take pleasure in humiliating him.

"I'd expect more from a Gonzaga man," continued the arrogant Mrs. Parnell, "but knowing your mother I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

As the cowed but enraged Calum looked down at his feet in a mix of shame and anger, and as Will Parnell blanched knowing that his mother's snobby treatment of his friends always came back somehow to bite him, the exquisite Danielle Parnell - although outwardly evidencing a most stern visage - smiled broadly on the inside. The gorgeous mother of three loved the rush that came with humiliating boys and men.

With a body better than most women half her age -- and a face that was a combination of the best that Kerri Russel and Miranda Kerr had to offer -- the 5' 2", emerald-eyed, 44 year-old alpha lawyer turned the head of any male fortunate enough to set eyes on her. More deliciously in her mind, her magnificence also drew the anger and envy of most women - particularly insofar as, in her presence, it rendered them invisible to the opposite sex. In fact, the suburban sexpot enjoyed nothing more - when "catching" some man or boy fixating on her splendor -- than to loudly chide him in front of his wife, girlfriend or mother and in so doing humiliating then both.

Although her present demeaning of Calum Duncan - a ne'er do well in her view in any event - didn't overtly involve chastising him for ogling her (a fixation that the little deviant along with most of her son's other Cretans-for-friends had lately developed -- and which she secretly loved), it still provided Mrs. Parnell the double benefit of embarrassing the little creep while letting him know that his cow of a mother was no better than he and, more importantly to Danielle's ego, nothing compared to her.

"Mom, I said guess what," Will Parnell again pleaded trying at once to change the subject and also convey his big news.

"What is it Will," his mother responded curtly, torn from her revelry of self-absorption.

"Sarah Palin is going to speak at 'Political Awareness Day' next week," Will blurted, excited as much by the political prospect of it as by the chance to see the attractive Palin in person. No sooner had the news of the pretty politician's visit spread throughout Gonzaga's hallways than had its students begun Googling every possible permutation of "Sarah Palin sexy, Sarah Palin hot, Sarah Palin naked . . ."

"Now she's a total MILF," Danielle heard Callum whisper to Malcolm Biggs the second of Will's friends who had gotten into the car earlier.

"True dat'," Malcom replied, fist bumping his compatriot.

While ordinarily Danielle would have castigated the two high schoolers for degrading women, in this case -- notwithstanding her also being stunned that in her presence these two little perverts had referred to some washed up, 50 year old politician as a MILF -- her real ire was directed at the news that her son had just shared.

"I'm sure that's not true Will," his mother imperiously interjected, "as you well know mommy is the featured speaker for 'Political Awareness Day."

Hating that his mother referred to herself as "mommy" in front of his friends, but knowing that he was powerless to protest, Will responded, "that's what I thought too mom but the agenda was passed out to us students today and it says the program will be discussion between Sarah Palin and . . . Calum's mom . . . who's a lawyer just like you. Some lady named Mrs. Kerr -- the wife of one of the trustees -- is going to moderate."

Shocked by what she was hearing, and while slowing her car to drop off Calum and Malcolm at Calum's house, Danielle Marie Parnell testily huffed, "well we'll just see about that now won't we. It just so happens that I'm headed to a Mothers' Guild Meeting tonight after I drop you at home. All the trustees, including that old man Kerr, will also be there and you can bet I'm going to give him a piece of my mind."
Will had heard that tone from his mother before -- she was on the warpath.

"And just so we're clear," the comely counselor simmered on, staring snidely at Calum who she could tell by the smirk on his face was relishing his own mother's effective promotion over her, "while Calum's mom may also be a lawyer, she is nothing like me. I have no idea where she may end up on this panel but I do have every confidence that come Political Awareness Day I'll be front and center on that stage!"

Truer words had never been spoken.

* * *

The assemblage of privileged men -- some with wives in tow -- gathered as guests in the modern luxury that was the Gonzaga College High School cafeteria represented a veritable pantheon of Washington, D.C. luminaries. From members of Congress to defense company CEOs -- from foreign ambassadors to real estate magnates -- almost all of the twelve or so gentlemen who were members of the Board of Trustees for the esteemed private high school had either attended the institution themselves or sired a current or past attendee.

On this night, however, the wealthy and powerful male scions of the capitol's metropolitan area were vastly outnumbered by members of the group hosting the very meeting that had brought them there -- namely the Gonzaga High School Mothers' Guild. Once each school year the guild invited the trustees to a meeting to hear from them on the state of the school.

A brief cocktail hour usually preceded the board's presentation, a standard run through of issues such as proposed capital projects, scholarship ideas and fundraising goals, which was in turn generally followed by some Q&A with the assembled mothers. But as the cafeteria doors swung open during cocktails to herald the purposeful entrance of Danielle Marie Parnell, the guild's imperious vice president, the assembled mothers - whom to a woman resented the manner in which the comely counselor used her position and "charms" to lord over them in front of their husbands and sons - knew exactly who would be dominating the Q&A. At the same time, upon spying the sexy suburbanite, the trustees' minds, and nether regions, turned immediately from said Q&A to T&A.

For her part, Danielle came dressed, as always, to impress. A pair of Lanvin skin tight black leggings cupped her incredibly well exercised ass - that appeared as if carved from marble -- like a glove and extended downward from there over her feminine, yet muscled calves. On her feet, giving even more purpose to her exquisite derriere, were a 5.5" pair of Prada baroque suede platform heels. A gold chain belt hung loosely around her trim waist immediately above which ended a Fendi bright orange bolero jacket. That in turn, open in front, covered a skin tight white knit top -- from Armani -- that left no doubt as to the pertness of her baseball side breasts nor the fitness of her toned stomach. Otherwise bedecked in opulent jewelry, the self-satisfied beauty had blown out her glorious mane and made up her face in neutral toned hues. Soft liner surrounded her emerald eyes and a burnt violet shade covered her perfectly formed lips.

Veritably strutting into the meeting so as to make it clear to all that the Queen Bee had arrived, Mrs. Parnell approached a small group of other Gonzaga mothers that included Katherine Wray, a very fit and lithe Southern Belle who was also known to turn more than a few heads, Rachel Miras, a rather small, plain woman who although her school district's PTA President was -- in Danielle's estimation -- nothing more than a hobbit, Rebecca Ross, a substitute English teacher at Gonzaga and the wife of one of the Trustees and, staring at her feet because she suspected what was about to transpire, Calum's mother Emily Duncan.

Like Mrs. Parnell, Mrs. Emily Duncan happened to be a lawyer. Unlike Danielle, however, who was the managing partner of the Washington, D.C. based international legal leviathan known as SmythKnight, Mrs. Duncan was a district attorney in the affluent village of Davidson, Maryland, home to the Duncan family as well as to the Parnells. To Mrs. Duncan's dismay that fact permitted Mrs. Danielle Parnell to serve as a part-time judge in the Davidson municipal court system. Discharging that service in turn provided the haughty D.C. "legal eagle" a perch from which to mock and demean the female lawyers who appeared before her - particularly the haggard D.A. Mrs. Duncan - while at the same teasing mercilessly "Her Honor's" court room's male population particularly its volunteer bailiff -- a Gonzaga trustee and Rebecca Ross' husband -- one Adam Hess.

Seeing Danielle walking over, the ceaselessly friendly Katherine Wray -- who some of the other mothers believed had more than a slight crush on the approaching diva -- excitedly uttered, "why hey Danielle, how are you? Isn't it exciting that the boys will get to see Sarah Palin on Tuesday?"

"And better yet," the fit Tennessean continued gesturing with a big grin at Mrs. Duncan, "Emily will be right there on stage with her."

Putting on her best fake smile, that hid only slightly her complete disdain for Mrs. Wray's eager beaver banter -- and for these women generally -- Danielle responded, "well I'm just fine thank you Katherine, which is less than I can say for Emily over here."

Staring daggers at Mrs. Duncan through her forced smile, the imperious Mrs. Parnell continued, "what I mean to say Emily, is that you must feel so very pleased and important having been chosen to share the stage with Governor . . . Moose Hunter. I must say, it's quite a step up from your day-to-day work. I just hope that you're better prepared for this than you are when you appear in my court room. You wouldn't want to disgrace all of Davidson now, would you?"

As the other women stood dumbstruck and the humiliated Emily Duncan searched her mind for how to respond, Danielle -- loving the collective discomfort she had caused -- continued, "oh, and by the way ladies, I was supposed to be the featured speaker for 'Political Awareness Day' before old man Kerr and that meddling wife of his wrangled this broken-down reality TV star of a former governor to preempt what would have been an erudite presentation by someone who is actually politically aware."

Having further insulted – and duly cowed -- the women that she so often privately mocked, the sexy uber-MILF grinning like the Cheshire cat, fired one last parting shot at the women she held in such disdain.

"Although I may not be able to displace Ms. Going Rogue I'm going to see to it that I, not that Ellie Kerr -- with her incessant and pathetic attempts to look younger than her no doubt 60 years -- will be the moderator. So I suggest you be well prepared Ms. Duncan. It's one thing to fail consistently in my courtroom but I'd hate to have you be embarrassed in front of your son and all his friends."

With that, the self-satisfied beauty confidently turned on her very high Prada heels and sashayed off toward where Stuart Kerr and the other trustees were gathered.

"Oh I just can't stand that self-important prima donna," exclaimed Rachel Miras, as ashamed of herself for not interceding on Emily Duncan's as she was embarrassed for Mrs. Duncan who -- like all of the women present -- had again suffered the withering wrath of Danielle Parnell.

"I tell myself just to let it go . . . I really do," began a crestfallen Emily Duncan, "the way she always manages to throw me off my game in court with her snide tone, eye rolls, comments about my clothes, or my weight or my 'obvious lack of attention to detail'."

And then, with her ire clearly on the rise, Calum's mom continued, "but once, just once, I'd like to see the tables turned on that little tease. To have her be the deer in the headlights, the one who is embarrassed in front of a crowd."

"You're preaching to the choir Emily," Rebecca Ross chimed in, "the way that little showoff is always strutting around in her tight designer clothes shaking her aerobicised ass in the faces of our husbands and sons while turning up her perfect little nose at all of us. I'd love to see her taken down a peg or two."

"Well then you better get planning," laughed Katherine Wray, "because by the look of rage on Ellie Kerr's face over there and the way Ms. Fancy Pants is fawning over your husband Rebecca, it looks like your better half just got her the job of moderator."

Before Rebecca Ross could even respond, the imperious Mrs. Parnell, who had with a soft parting touch to the forearm of the handsome Adam Hess -- after whom the diva of Davidson had lusted privately on more than one occasion – returned to the gathered group of women, and quipped, "looks like I will indeed be moderating your little discussion with the Governor on Tuesday Ms. Duncan. Study hard Emily . . . and remember . . . Calum and all his little friends will be watching . . ."

And then, as she sauntered confidently past the gathered gaggle of Gonzaga moms, sotto voce in a voice she was sure was out of anyone's earshot, Danielle continued to herself, " . . . watching me humiliate you right in front of them."

What the preening uber-MILF did not realize was that Calum Duncan – who had volunteered as a server at the Mothers' Guild meeting -- had from his vantage point behind a column in the cafeteria overhead Will's arrogant mom publicly chide his own as well as, despite the snobby MILF's attempted whisper, her plan to humiliate Mrs. Duncan in front of the entire Gonzaga student body.

Calum was at his wit's end. It was one thing for Danielle Parnell to talk down to him but it was quite another for the stuck-up know-it-all to make fun of his mom. He needed to turn the tables on Mrs. Parnell -- publicly and once and for all. The only problem was how.

"Hey Calum," came the disembodied voice of Will Parnell who also had volunteered to help out at the meeting but who had missed both his mother's entrance and departure, "do you want to sleep over tomorrow night. A bunch of the guys from the team will be there and my mom can drive us in Tuesday morning for Political Awareness Day."

"That sounds great, buddy," Calum answered excitedly.

To Will's ears that excitement came as a relief. Either Calum had forgotten, or didn't care, how Will's mom had treated him in the car earlier. To Calum, the excitement was the result of a proverbial light bulb going off over his adolescent head. There had to be something in the Parnell household that could be a solution to his problem. In his wildest, and wettest, dreams he couldn’t have envisioned at that moment exactly how right he was.