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Old 08-30-2014, 09:41 PM
Dayjib Dayjib is offline
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I thought it was really good myself; you have a good descriptive nature of writing, one can really paint a picture of the events in their mind. I am also a fan on the "realistic" aspect of this story to start off with; nothing too crazy to start with, but it gives scope to expand and increase in the future.

Also as I stated in Doctor Ripper's brilliant developing story, I am always a fan of more Paige enf stories.

If I was going to have some constructive criticism, I would maybe have a bit more description in the big enf moment of the chapter (in this case the Bra unclipping), maybe make it a bit more of a big deal, really drive home the humiliation of the situation (although you did just that brilliantly with the minor enf, the top removal to be fair). However this is merely a minor gripe, and I also understand the need to rush that moment given how the story progressed.

Yeah, so for me, great work, and good to see another promising story looking to be developed on this board, can't wait for the next chapter.
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