My wife has been a "hotwife" for a couple of years now. She has had a couple of steady boyfriends during that time and has met a boatload of guys who didn't work out. The "flake" to "real" ratio is probably 10 to 1, maybe higher. It's amazing how many guys think they want to do this then when it is actually about to happen they can't handle it.
She meets guys on Craigslist. She never posts ads but she responds to the ones that are well-written and interesting. I've tried to get her on Ashely Madison but for some reason she doesn't want to do that.
Her main BF is a VP at an aerospace company in our area. They were really "hot and heavy" for a while, constant emails, phone calls, texts when they were apart and regular meetings when he was in town. They did a lot of phone sex and he would tell her when he jerked off thinking about her when he was alone (almost every night). His wife had lost interest in sex but he hadn't, so it was a good setup for everyone involved.
They would get together during the day at a local hotel for sex, then he would go home to wife in the evening. A few times I went there and we spent the night. There is NOTHING like "sloppy seconds"! I've never felt anything so amazing in all my life.
She had one other local guy who she had a long-term thing with, but they never had sex. I still think he couldn't and was too embarrassed to tell her, so he kept making excuses. She liked him so she kept seeing him. At one point he was looking at apartments so they could have a place to get away together. He was fairly well off but he said if he got hotel rooms his wife would see it on their credit cards. My wife kept trying to seduce him, she got him alone a bunch of times and they kissed and fondled but it never went anywhere. She would come home frustrated, which was great for me.
Right now she's in between FWB's and we have a lot going on so she's not actively looking. She's a 34DD with a really great ass, so she gets plenty of attention where ever she goes, but so far she has not hooked up with anyone that way ... that I know of.
We're both kind of burned out by all the flakes she keeps running into. That's part of why she isn't looking right now. I'm sure when things calm down she'll be back on the prowl. One thing I've learned from this is that you really can't put the genie back in the bottle even if you wanted to. She knows she has a "hall pass" and I can't imagine her ever giving that up.
It's not exactly the way I imagined it would be though. She doesn't tell guys that I know, they all think she's cheating. She doesn't want to have them at our house and her thinking is that the best way to be sure that doesn't happen is to make them think I'm a "normal" husband who would get upset if he found out. The aerospace VP was pretty kinky and wanted to have threesomes, etc and she considered telling him I knew, but she was afraid things would get out of hand quick. She was probably right, he was a real sex fiend. He kept hinting that he was bi (not that there's anything wrong with that) and neither of us is interested in that in any way.
One of the hottest things she ever said to me was one time there was an ad on Craigslist from a group of five guys who were looking for a woman to gangbang. She sent them a response and said she was interested, as long as her husband could watch. They were up for it and she was up for it and ... I chickened out. Still kicking myself over that one, but I have heard so many horror stories about gangbangs that my nerves got the best of me.
My hope was that she would find a few regulars and sort of "round robin" them, maybe a few dinner dates, but mostly just meeting for sex. I had a fantasy of coming home for lunch and finding her fucking one of them in our bed. But she needs to have more than just sex, so these guys were actual boyfriends, not just casual sex friends. Sometimes that was hard for me to handle but still, it's mostly a lot of fun.
One thing that has puzzled both of us is that as many guys as she has had close relationships with, all of whom had money, she never got even one little gift out of any of them. No lingerie, no jewelry, not even dinners at nice places. One gave her a refrigerator magnet. My reaction was "Wut?"
People are interesting and this has taught us both a lot about the mind of your average male.