This is low key and is more fun than a massive thrill but I did not really know where to place it. I mentioned in the family views thread my wife's 19 year old niece coming to live with us. She has a similar sense of humor to me except it is not quite as dark. Anyway she now is interested in becoming a firefighter so I took her to a city a couple hours away to visit one. She was telling me about someone of Tiktok that would check out with weird uncomfortable items to watch the reaction of the cashier. We had some time to kill and decided to try it.
Now to paint the picture, my could easily pass for a high school senior. She is objectively speaking very hot and was wearing Daisy Duke cutoffs, cowboy boots, and a spaghetti strap tank with a braided pony tail. I am in peak physical condition but I think I look like I am about 50 though I am in my early 40's. My wife says I get better looking with age though and I get hit on my younger women way more now than I did when I was their age. Anyway we kind of acted like we were a couple and went into stores.
The first store was a big chain store that has groceries and pretty much anything else you can imagine. We got a bunch of phallic vegies such as a cucumber, squash, egg plant, and a few other items like a summer sausage. Then we got some whipped cream, lube, some coconut oil, and Vaseline. Finally we got a rope and ducktape. We picked a register with a frumpy middle aged lady as the cashier. Then as we were there we were joking around. "Do you think it will fit?" "Don't worry I will use plenty of lube." The cashier was looking uncomfortable and pretending not to notice the conversation/banter. I asked her if she though the coconut oil or the Vaseline would work better? She looked flustered and said, "for what?" I picked up the eggplant and said, "To help me ease this in like a gentleman." She said, "I wouldn't know" and turned beet red. We were getting stares from people behind us. We did this at another store too. There she asked me in line if I was sure my wife would be out of town for the whole week. "Yep, we will have the house to ourselves"... That conversation got dirty looks.
Not really a "massive" turn on but making people think she was my girlfriend or mistress or something like that was kind of hot. I told my wife about it and she told me it was childish.
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