Limericks
 

Let's have at those limericks. Standard rules apply. Keep them witty, risque and clever. To start...

There was a young lady named Sally
Who enjoyed the occasional dally
She sat on the lap
Of a well endowed chap
And cried, "Sir! You're right up my alley!"

I'll give it a shot
 

A do-it-yourselfer named Alice
used a dynamite stick for a phallus
they found her vagina
in South Carolina
and parts of her anus in Dallas

I'm sure I can drad up a few from the past...
 

There was a young girl from Devizes
Whose breasts were different sizes
One was so small
Hardly anything at all
The other was big and won prizes!

Airborne
 

There once was a man from Bel Air
Who was doing his wife on the stair
But the banister broke
So he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid-air

Nantucket has many
 

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose thing was so long he could suck it.
He said, with a grin
as he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear was a pussy, I'd fuck it!"

Just for larks
 

I have been on dozens of larks;
I like it indoors, not in parks.
You feel more at ease,
Your ass doesn't freeze;
And strollers don't make snide remarks.

There once was a beautiful Goddess. She
Wore a voluptuous bodice. We
Saw her undress,
And then heard her express,
"Hot damn, I've discovered immodesty!"

First
 

There once was a caveman named Dave
Who kept a dead girl in his cave
They say he's a beast
To fuck the deceased
But think of the money he's saved!

There once was a hooker names Sue
She filled her vagina with glue
She said with a grin,
They pay to get in
Now they'll pay to get out of me too!

More
 

There once was a woman from Wheeling
Who had a particular feeling
She'd lay on her back
Tickle her crack
And piss at flies on the ceiling.

Their once was a hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead wh*r* in his cave
She was minus one tit
And stank like shit
But think of the money he saved.

There was a young lady from Dallas
Who put some pot in her chalice
And she said with a grin
As her boyfriend put it in
Now watch me turn on his phallus